Stuck in memory

[Cedarwood]

Thank you. I got a lot out of the meditation and the second video. I feel I have some clarity to work with regarding this fear if it comes up again.

I feel like that was a huge shift, but I feel Im ready to dive back Into the pointers. I feel so disorientated with the mind taking over again. Please feel free to hold me accountable - butt chair or the latest pointer? ill get directly into that but my mind is even having a debate over which one (and that its already seen through it) its grabbed it. Please take over! :)

Ill give it everything I've got x

[Anastacia42]

You may be finished with what we can offer here.

Can you find any separate self?

Loving

[Cedarwood]

Hi Stacy

The doubt has dissipated.

Can you find any separate self?

No. Everything just is as they are and nothing is separate. Thought just is as it is and it has labelled itself what it is (self/I). Nothing more.

[Anastacia42]

Adele, that is fantastic.

We have some traditional questions that we offer at this point. They are below. They will be shared with other guides who may have questions.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Good work.

Loving,

[Cedarwood]

You're amazing Stacy, thank you. Your clear and determined pointing, steering the mind out of this process was everything. Thanks for shoving "me" out of the way giving "me" absolutely nothing, but pure clear experience. Its beautiful.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No separate entity. Only in thought and language is a label "self/I" that does not relate back to any actual experience. Only describes them. There was never a separate self.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion started from early childhood, conditioned from parents and peers. My being was given a name. Born with complete innocence, identity started to form as beliefs. A lot of them conditioned to avoid or hide parts of my behaviour as being bad or wrong. It's experienced now as a conventional label in relative life, but it does not relate back to the enabler or cognition of my actions as the label suggests.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It's a relief. It's also such a feeling of connectedness. Not much actually changes, just a lot more space to notice emotions and thoughts without feeling enmeshed with them. Still, theres things settling and dealing with a bit of disorientation.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Finding and rooting out some subtle thoughts that was going unnoticed. Mostly doubt thoughts that were a bit obscure so finding them and really seeing how it was trying to describe experience that just simply isn't in direct experience. Its still creeping in here and there sometimes.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Decision is an added layer in experience of thought that labels action back to a "self". Attention moves and action follows. For example, I got up to turn the heater on was sensation of cold + memory of heater in next room. Thought packages that as a decision and asserts movement as a decider, when in actual experience it was attention moving + response.

Describe intention & give examples from experience

Intention is thought about the future appearing now. For example, a thought may arise right now of going outside today but this is not pointing to a separate or tangible "self" that has independent intention. What arises in the moment will be and it may not even be the intention that the thought assumes (it could start raining as an example)

Describe free will & give examples from experience

Free will does not exist yet everything is paradoxically free. Free will is an illusion that experience can be chosen in a world separate from me that can be manipulated to any different outcome. Theres only assumed to be free will with the belief in a thought of a separate "self" apart from anything managing experience. There is only spontaneous action and experience with a thought taking ownership. When I say everything is free, everything is just as it is and as it's seen and experienced for exactly as they are, nothing is actually a problem it's already free to be as it is.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Choice is a thought in experience that gives the illusion of control. It's an assumption in thought that something could be any other way. For example, Looking at the contents of the fridge attention moves around the visual field and the hand reaches for the food. This is spontaneous. A thought will arise and assert that it made the choice, but in actual experience the body moved first.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

Control is esssentially what all experiences in cognition tries to label back to a "self" in thought. It's a pacifying concept/thought that gives the illusion that we can stop bad things from happening. In experience, attention moves from one phenomena to the next all of it spontaneous; that is the attention and phenomena itself. This is the experience of movement from one thing to the next. Thoughts are there asserting the manager of experience, however has no control what so ever. I found this recently as the fear itself that arises and knew instantly why we've asserted "selves" in the first place. Its the fear of no control (everything thats pretty much assumed as being an I or self is the belief of independent control)

What makes things happen? How does it work?

Ultimately what makes things happen is a mystery. However absolutely nothing is separate. It's one, whole, unified. There is no "me" and world. It's all happening as one. Cause and effect are perfectly in synch as one whole unified field. Not just for a "me" or "self", for everything and everyone. All phenomena arises here as each experience carrying over to the next. Attention moves around the senses with spontaneous action. Thoughts claim this movement as a "self" managing an exterior world however that is not the case.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Responsibility is a label for what already exists as love and care. All outcomes/actions are an expression of this even if it is fear. My son needs me, love is here. action/response follows.

[Anastacia42]

You're so welcome!

Those are beautiful answers. They will be shared with other guides who may have questions. Stay tuned!

Loving