The Gate

I would also say at this point to start really paying attention to your intuition and what resonates. The Inner GPS exercise might be good to do again. Let me know if you want me to put it here again.

I also have some meditation mp3s that might be fun to explore for you. You can grab them on this link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/ ... drive_link

These are not 100% aligned with LU inquiry, but at this point it just comes down to shaking something loose somewhere.

Going through the God one this morning. I'll keep working through it. I find guided meditations are useful for me sometimes... like the "controller" or "doer" gets to offload some of its responsibility and it's easier for me to stay present.

Who is this teacher?

What I did was to contemplate it, and then feel it. I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but that's what happened.

The way dependent origination made sense to me was to look at all the conditions coming together as Henri and then feeling how decisions happen when conditions are right, then I would just feel that. The whole universe coming together as typing this post.

Or the cosmos in a grain of sand, and so on.

I do know what you mean about feeling it. I'm sort of trying to notice my state of mind/emotional state and either look one level lower at the same time, at what feeling tone is arising from objects in awareness, or what feels like one step up, at what actions / decisions are available, likely, etc based on where "I" am at that moment.

Not to make this all sound too complicated again. Sitting over the last day is collecting myself on the cushion and looking for where "I" is manifesting. And finding it as an object, and then seeing that "I" has moved again, and finding THAT object, and doing the cat and mouse game. And then sometimes noticing... who's playing this game? And finding that object. And so on.


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Who is this teacher?

I don't know. I got the recordings from another guide, and they said the teacher doesn't teach anymore so doesn't want to be known.

Not to make this all sound too complicated again. Sitting over the last day is collecting myself on the cushion and looking for where "I" is manifesting. And finding it as an object, and then seeing that "I" has moved again, and finding THAT object, and doing the cat and mouse game. And then sometimes noticing... who's playing this game? And finding that object. And so on.

Can it ever really be an "I" that controls if it's an object?

If it's an object, then it's an image, sound, sensation, smell, or taste. None of those things controls anything, right?

See if you can break it down instead of assuming you find an I/object. Notice the sense of "I". What gives you the sense that it is an "I"?

You will find images, sensations, sounds, etc, but where is an "I"?

Also during the day, when you feel like you're deciding, intending, thinking, notice how you know that. Just stop and look at what gives you the sense that 'you' are making things happen?

Thanks - and sorry, I got lost in formatting on my phone, but would you mind reposting the inner GPS instructions?


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Sure!

Body Exercise - Inner GPS

Your body naturally navigates life, and gives you data on what it resonates with and what it doesn’t.

For example, have you ever had a ‘gut feeling’ that you shouldn’t do something, and you did it anyway?

Or maybe you felt like doing something that made no logical sense, but it led to exactly what you needed at that time in your life?

It may not make sense logically, but the body knows more than we are aware of.

These yes/no signals often come as expansion/contraction, light/heavy, open/closed, but they may be different for you.

They can happen spontaneously or need time to become clear (a sign that you need time is that you think you need to be faster).

What I’d like you to do for next day is this:

1. Tell your mind that you will conduct an experiment for 24 hours, and that things will return to normal after that if appropriate (this is to get some space and focus on the body)

2. As often as you can, pay attention to what your body feels drawn to do. If it isn’t convenient to do this for all decisions, then do it for small ones, or whenever you can.

(If you have a hard time connecting to your body, just do your best. Look at this as an experiment and play with it.)

3. Pay attention to how your inner GPS communicates with you. Where is it in your body? What does it feel like? Is it instant or does it require time? (focus on direct experience)

4. Also notice how thoughts about self affect the body. What do you find?

If you experience thoughts such as:

- “This doesn’t work”
- “Why are you doing this?”
- “This is silly”
- “This is unsafe”

Tell your mind that you’re just doing it for 24 hours to see what it’s like.

What happened? Report back what you discover.

Let me know if you have any questions :)

Morning Henri.

I am about halfway through the meditations you shared. I found value in the meditation where you are the receiver, look for the thing receiving everything. And I keep working on the one where you look at a thought, look where it arose from, and look beyond where it arose from. The challenge I am having with that one is looking at the "source" without it being another thought. I'm not sure I've managed to do that, yet.

Those two, and then some Rupert Spira stuff I used to do that pointed at the "screen" that experience lands on, seem to be all pointing to the same "place", but it feels like looking for that place is the wrong muscle to flex, as looking itself is an experience that lands on the "screen" or comes from the source. So any way I know how to "be" is just another thought.

Can it ever really be an "I" that controls if it's an object?

If it's an object, then it's an image, sound, sensation, smell, or taste. None of those things controls anything, right?

See if you can break it down instead of assuming you find an I/object. Notice the sense of "I". What gives you the sense that it is an "I"?

You will find images, sensations, sounds, etc, but where is an "I"?

Also during the day, when you feel like you're deciding, intending, thinking, notice how you know that. Just stop and look at what gives you the sense that 'you' are making things happen?

The last few days I have been struggling to find an "I". In the first meditation you shared, the teacher asks the students to feel for the sense of how they know they are there. I may be making it too complicated, but when I look for how "I" know I'm here, it's not a coarse object that is easy to examine or abide in. It's like a sense of proprioception or taking up space. Which is just another physical sensation.

Similarly having a hard time finding where the sense of knowing comes from. If I look at an object and don't let thought describe it, "knowing" doesn't make sense, because there just IS. There's nothing to know, or nothing to do the knowing.

I am about halfway through the meditations you shared. I found value in the meditation where you are the receiver, look for the thing receiving everything. And I keep working on the one where you look at a thought, look where it arose from, and look beyond where it arose from. The challenge I am having with that one is looking at the "source" without it being another thought. I'm not sure I've managed to do that, yet.

That's good. If a particular meditation resonates with you, feel free to listen to it multiple times.

Looking beyond where it arose can be challenging, although you can play with it. You can use imagination to look beyond and see what happens.

There are quite a few practices where visualization is used, so it doesn't necessarily have to be an obstacle.

Those two, and then some Rupert Spira stuff I used to do that pointed at the "screen" that experience lands on, seem to be all pointing to the same "place", but it feels like looking for that place is the wrong muscle to flex, as looking itself is an experience that lands on the "screen" or comes from the source. So any way I know how to "be" is just another thought.

Yes, exactly. Good that you're noticing this. These seemingly small observations are to be celebrated, because as more is noticed and seen through, the more subtle layers come to the forefront.

It can sometimes feel like nothing is happening because we are focused on the big prize, but things are constantly shifting.

The last few days I have been struggling to find an "I". In the first meditation you shared, the teacher asks the students to feel for the sense of how they know they are there. I may be making it too complicated, but when I look for how "I" know I'm here, it's not a coarse object that is easy to examine or abide in. It's like a sense of proprioception or taking up space. Which is just another physical sensation.

Similarly having a hard time finding where the sense of knowing comes from. If I look at an object and don't let thought describe it, "knowing" doesn't make sense, because there just IS. There's nothing to know, or nothing to do the knowing.

Precisely!

It sounds like something has shifted for you. It can sometimes sneak up on you, and then one day you look and it doesn't make sense anymore.

So when you look now, is there someone deciding what to write? Do you find a decider?

And this sense of taking up space, what is it without a label of taking up space?

Precisely!

It sounds like something has shifted for you. It can sometimes sneak up on you, and then one day you look and it doesn't make sense anymore.

So when you look now, is there someone deciding what to write? Do you find a decider?

And this sense of taking up space, what is it without a label of taking up space?

No, no decider. Just sensations and thoughts. Whatever is being typed back in this box just comes up, motion happens, fingers move, thoughts appear and disappear, sensations get labeled, just happening.

Taking up space is just a loose set of sensations flowing "around" a "location." I could say it's my sweater on my skin + my butt on my chair + elbows all creating a sum of "space" being taken up, but even that is labels. It's just energy flowing around.

Taking up space is just a loose set of sensations flowing "around" a "location." I could say it's my sweater on my skin + my butt on my chair + elbows all creating a sum of "space" being taken up, but even that is labels. It's just energy flowing around.

Exactly. Take a look at space itself, what is it without the label space?

Also, how is everyday life? Have you noticed any shifts or changes when it comes to being a 'separate self'?

Exactly. Take a look at space itself, what is it without the label space?

Also, how is everyday life? Have you noticed any shifts or changes when it comes to being a 'separate self'?

I can't find a direct experience of space. I can't see it, I can't feel it, and any pointer I can find to it is a thought saying that it must exist. It's like the "0" that lets "1" appear, but itself is not a thing. Just a reference.

Everyday life is a lot like it ever was. I don't think I have spent much time looking at my life or living from this perspective of separate self, I have mostly just looked for it as a thing I want to understand and be curious about. And I have been operating from a perspective of not "having" the understanding or realization, so starting from a place of lack, seeking to resolve that by understanding this insight. That has been the general flavor, for me.

I can't find a direct experience of space. I can't see it, I can't feel it, and any pointer I can find to it is a thought saying that it must exist. It's like the "0" that lets "1" appear, but itself is not a thing. Just a reference.

And so when space is referred to, what is found there? Is it just an image? Or a smattering of sensations? Something else?

Everyday life is a lot like it ever was. I don't think I have spent much time looking at my life or living from this perspective of separate self, I have mostly just looked for it as a thing I want to understand and be curious about. And I have been operating from a perspective of not "having" the understanding or realization, so starting from a place of lack, seeking to resolve that by understanding this insight. That has been the general flavor, for me.

That is interesting. So has something shifted in this lack perspective for you?

Or a more general question: What has shifted in the last few weeks?

You sound more calm and clear to me in the last few posts.

And so when space is referred to, what is found there? Is it just an image? Or a smattering of sensations? Something else?

Right now, in direct experience, it feels like space is the sensations in and around my body in combination a thought that imagines future movement, or imagines that movement is possible. The thought is what makes it "space". In vision, space is a thought applied to my visual field that says there are objects and empty space between them.

Everyday life is a lot like it ever was. I don't think I have spent much time looking at my life or living from this perspective of separate self, I have mostly just looked for it as a thing I want to understand and be curious about. And I have been operating from a perspective of not "having" the understanding or realization, so starting from a place of lack, seeking to resolve that by understanding this insight. That has been the general flavor, for me.

That is interesting. So has something shifted in this lack perspective for you?

Or a more general question: What has shifted in the last few weeks?

You sound more calm and clear to me in the last few posts.
[/quote]
I think over the last couple weeks, getting reacquainted with the concept of dependent origination has given my gnawing conceptual mind something to chew on so I can just look without needing to wonder "why" so much. I also encountered an author talking about hindrances, and establishing an attitude of, "What can I learn from this?" to any hindrance/state you are encountering, and that changing your relationship to these so-called negative states. So when I am doubting, tired, anxious, I can become curious about those states instead of wearing them as the lens. And, from the perspective of dependent origination, become curious about the limits of what I can see when the lenses are on, so to speak. This has taken some of the edge off.

Over the last couple of days, specifically looking into "How do I know I am here?" has been met with no answers. I keep trying to choose an obvious thing like butt-on-chair or sense of proprioception or the feelings in my head, but by the time I resolve to feel those as me, they're already being dropped as objects.

reposting to fix quotes.

And so when space is referred to, what is found there? Is it just an image? Or a smattering of sensations? Something else?

Right now, in direct experience, it feels like space is the sensations in and around my body in combination a thought that imagines future movement, or imagines that movement is possible. The thought is what makes it "space". In vision, space is a thought applied to my visual field that says there are objects and empty space between them.

That is interesting. So has something shifted in this lack perspective for you?

Or a more general question: What has shifted in the last few weeks?

You sound more calm and clear to me in the last few posts.

I think over the last couple weeks, getting reacquainted with the concept of dependent origination has given my gnawing conceptual mind something to chew on so I can just look without needing to wonder "why" so much. I also encountered an author talking about hindrances, and establishing an attitude of, "What can I learn from this?" to any hindrance/state you are encountering, and that changing your relationship to these so-called negative states. So when I am doubting, tired, anxious, I can become curious about those states instead of wearing them as the lens. And, from the perspective of dependent origination, become curious about the limits of what I can see when the lenses are on, so to speak. This has taken some of the edge off.

Over the last couple of days, specifically looking into "How do I know I am here?" has been met with no answers. I keep trying to choose an obvious thing like butt-on-chair or sense of proprioception or the feelings in my head, but by the time I resolve to feel those as me, they're already being dropped as objects.

This all sounds great to me.

Over the last couple of days, specifically looking into "How do I know I am here?" has been met with no answers. I keep trying to choose an obvious thing like butt-on-chair or sense of proprioception or the feelings in my head, but by the time I resolve to feel those as me, they're already being dropped as objects.

Marvelous. :)

So would you like to finish the meditation recordings + explore inner GPS exercise and then we can check on what to do next?

Sounds good. I'll be back in a few days with an update. Thanks for all the help and time.

Sounds good. I'll be back in a few days with an update.

Looking forward to it!

Thanks for all the help and time.

My pleasure 👍