Keeping It Simple

[Bluejay]

Morning! I've been looking at these for the last couple days and also exploring the sense of.. what is the consistent aspect of all my experience... like when opening and closing my eyes, something is there completely unaffected by vision but aware of vision, and what is it?

When you close your eyes, there is still vision. Please find what is there other than see, hear, feel, taste, smell, and thought.

You say something is there unaffected, but can you find it? If not, it is a thought. How do you know something is there? Look and inquire.

But the thinking mind sees that it can predict a future and then follow steps to enact that future, and holds onto that as proof of its control.

What can the thinking mind predict when it cannot even predict its next thought?

And what is the thinking mind in direct experience? Is there something thinking up thoughts, or are there just thoughts?

I am pretty caught up in feeling I need to convince the thinking mind that this no-control perspective is true to the point where thoughts are agreeing by default that it is true. I think this is where I am struggling with expectation.

Look for the I that is struggling. Where is it?

Who is caught up in feeling something? Can you find something other than feeling?

When looking for an I, it can't be found. It consistently moves "out" of the object that feels like I into another, or frequently moves into the looking act itself.

I also know that an I can't actually move or become something, as it's just a thought, but that is how the thinking feels for me right now.

Yes, and the inquiry is about breaking this feeling down into its parts (see, hear, feel, smell, taste, thought), and then looking over and over if you can find it.

I get the feeling you do the inquiry and then you stop. You see there is no self there, and then you don't inquire into the thought about 'it moves to the next object' or the sensation 'that is how the thinking feels'.

For example, the thought 'it moves', is that the thing that moves?
Where is the thing that moves? It's a feeling? Okay, where in the body? Are those sensation it?

This ephemeral movement is thought + sensation making it seem like something is happening, which is why you need to keep inquiring, stay focused.

If there is any hint of an I, it can be broken down into the 5 senses + thought and inquired into.

I also have to ask at this point, are you still committed to this inquiry? Are you burning for this, ready to look into everything constantly?

There's nothing wrong with taking a break if this isn't a priority.

I may be wrong, but it feels like something is off. It's like you're holding back or something along those lines. I can't really put it into words.

Maybe you aren't burning for this inquiry, but you are doing it because you just want to feel better?

This is just pure guessing at this point so I may be way off :)

[gbeene]

When you close your eyes, there is still vision. Please find what is there other than see, hear, feel, taste, smell, and thought.

You say something is there unaffected, but can you find it? If not, it is a thought. How do you know something is there? Look and inquire.

What can the thinking mind predict when it cannot even predict its next thought?

And what is the thinking mind in direct experience? Is there something thinking up thoughts, or are there just thoughts?

Look for the I that is struggling. Where is it?

Who is caught up in feeling something? Can you find something other than feeling?

These are all good pointers. This is my blind spot, how quickly the thinking mind hops in to analyze the brief moments of looking I do. And thinking I've seen through one layer but missed the deeper point, like you pointing out that vision still exists with my eyes closed. I will keep looking today.

I get the feeling you do the inquiry and then you stop. You see there is no self there, and then you don't inquire into the thought about 'it moves to the next object' or the sensation 'that is how the thinking feels'.

For example, the thought 'it moves', is that the thing that moves?
Where is the thing that moves? It's a feeling? Okay, where in the body? Are those sensation it?

This ephemeral movement is thought + sensation making it seem like something is happening, which is why you need to keep inquiring, stay focused.

If there is any hint of an I, it can be broken down into the 5 senses + thought and inquired into.

I do miss these follow-on thoughts. Similar to how I miss the thoughts that are preparing to watch for an intention to arise, or the thought predicting when prediction will occur. It's a good reminder.

I also have to ask at this point, are you still committed to this inquiry? Are you burning for this, ready to look into everything constantly?

There's nothing wrong with taking a break if this isn't a priority.

I may be wrong, but it feels like something is off. It's like you're holding back or something along those lines. I can't really put it into words.

Maybe you aren't burning for this inquiry, but you are doing it because you just want to feel better?

I was just on vacation and traveling for the larger part of October, so I have been on break. I am back to school on the inquiry, so to speak. It's not possible for me to forget about this pursuit, put it down, and just live my life normally among thoughts and objects and things, and I don't plan to.

However, I don't think I am burning in that I am prioritizing the inquiry above all other aspects of my lay life. I don't know if that's what you mean. I frequently forget to do inquiry or get caught up in "mundane" shit like my job, relationship, friends, hobbies, activities, etc. I do eventually remember and start looking again, though I get caught up in the traps we're talking about above with thinking. I am still sitting and looking at my breath.

I don't know if this is a zen-stick moment or if you feel like we're wasting our time here. Or both!

[Bluejay]

I don't know if this is a zen-stick moment or if you feel like we're wasting our time here. Or both!

Hey, I can be wrong sometimes. I do, however, like to check if someone is still interested after a while. :)

It's never a waste of time if the desire is there for us to continue.

It's not possible for me to forget about this pursuit, put it down, and just live my life normally among thoughts and objects and things, and I don't plan to.

However, I don't think I am burning in that I am prioritizing the inquiry above all other aspects of my lay life. I don't know if that's what you mean. I frequently forget to do inquiry or get caught up in "mundane" shit like my job, relationship, friends, hobbies, activities, etc. I do eventually remember and start looking again, though I get caught up in the traps we're talking about above with thinking. I am still sitting and looking at my breath.

Okay, good!

These are all good pointers. This is my blind spot, how quickly the thinking mind hops in to analyze the brief moments of looking I do. And thinking I've seen through one layer but missed the deeper point, like you pointing out that vision still exists with my eyes closed. I will keep looking today.

Yes, it can be quick. I'll let you explore the pointers/questions I posed in the last post for you to explore then?

Keep sharing what comes up for you and we can explore blind spots.

It is also good to bring this into everyday life. If not inquiry, then simply mindfulness.

[gbeene]

I appreciate the frankness and zen-sticks when appropriate :) I'm going to answer the inquiries below in a way that I know is limited, but feels honest.

When you close your eyes, there is still vision. Please find what is there other than see, hear, feel, taste, smell, and thought.

You say something is there unaffected, but can you find it? If not, it is a thought. How do you know something is there? Look and inquire.

Am I confusing teachings if I think the "unaffected thing" is awareness? Like... beingness. Or whatever allows the senses to be sensed. I can't find it, whatever it is, so it's probably just a thought, but I do get this part confused between LU and stuff like Rupert Spira teachings. Or more likely am misunderstanding.

What can the thinking mind predict when it cannot even predict its next thought?

I can imagine going to the cupboard, pulling a cup out, pouring water into it, and the taste/feel of the water.. to some level of detail. I can't predict the exact moment I would stand up and do all of that, but it does seem like there's a general ability to predict a limited future and enable it, if that makes sense. (Not defending this... just throwing it out there so I can dismantle it. Or prevent these counteractive thoughts from appearing?)

And what is the thinking mind in direct experience? Is there something thinking up thoughts, or are there just thoughts?

I have been looking and the thoughts don't come from anywhere I can identify, look at, or find. I can't find "the mind" other than what feels like a ceaseless stream of commentary, some subtle/fast, some discursive and loud. So, thoughts.

Look for the I that is struggling. Where is it?

Who is caught up in feeling something? Can you find something other than feeling?

There's some limitation of language here. Or.. "I'm stuck in language reifying a self in order to communicate." There's no thing actually stuck, as I look at that quoted sentence. It's "just" speech conventions, but needs to create a self in order to reference me while excluding you, so to speak.

There's no bundle of something that has qualities of feelings being applied to it. I can't hold up a self and say "look at it, now it's sad or confused." There are sensations and thoughts that say "that sensation means sadness, or confusion."

For example, the thought 'it moves', is that the thing that moves?
Where is the thing that moves? It's a feeling? Okay, where in the body? Are those sensation it?

This ephemeral movement is thought + sensation making it seem like something is happening, which is why you need to keep inquiring, stay focused.

This is a good one that I am still looking at. There is a sense of a lot of movement within thoughts. But it has to be an illusion, as nothing is actually moving. Attention feels like it moves, but it's more that some sensory input is being experienced where other sensory input is no longer being experienced. It's confusing... nothing is moving, but it feels like osmething is changing, and that change is being witnessed by something... trailing off and looking at this more.

[Bluejay]

but feels honest.

Honest good!

Am I confusing teachings if I think the "unaffected thing" is awareness? Like... beingness. Or whatever allows the senses to be sensed. I can't find it, whatever it is, so it's probably just a thought, but I do get this part confused between LU and stuff like Rupert Spira teachings. Or more likely am misunderstanding.

Awareness teachings have their place, and can be used for a few steps, but eventually that has to be abandoned because it is a concept. It's a subtle one, but it's a thought.

Here at LU we don't use it as much. If you look at awareness in direct experience, what do you find? Is there such a thing?

I can imagine going to the cupboard, pulling a cup out, pouring water into it, and the taste/feel of the water.. to some level of detail. I can't predict the exact moment I would stand up and do all of that, but it does seem like there's a general ability to predict a limited future and enable it, if that makes sense. (Not defending this... just throwing it out there so I can dismantle it. Or prevent these counteractive thoughts from appearing?)

You didn't predict this thought though?

Notice this thought is very vague. It says something like going to the cupboard and I COULD do it if I wanted to, but did that actually end up happening?

This is what thoughts do, especially regarding the self. They're vague and when you put them to the test, they crumble.

And who is enabling this to happen? There's no prediction of the cupboard thought, and who moves the body? Does a thought? An impulse? Is there someone making thoughts happen, or an impulse?

I have been looking and the thoughts don't come from anywhere I can identify, look at, or find. I can't find "the mind" other than what feels like a ceaseless stream of commentary, some subtle/fast, some discursive and loud. So, thoughts.

Exactly. No mind. No thinker. Not even thinking. Just thought.

but needs to create a self in order to reference me while excluding you, so to speak.

No need to create a self to reference it. I can say I but it doesn't point to a doer.

There's no bundle of something that has qualities of feelings being applied to it. I can't hold up a self and say "look at it, now it's sad or confused." There are sensations and thoughts that say "that sensation means sadness, or confusion."

So what is the problem? Is sadness or another feeling a problem?

This is a good one that I am still looking at. There is a sense of a lot of movement within thoughts. But it has to be an illusion, as nothing is actually moving. Attention feels like it moves, but it's more that some sensory input is being experienced where other sensory input is no longer being experienced. It's confusing... nothing is moving, but it feels like osmething is changing, and that change is being witnessed by something... trailing off and looking at this more.

Notice there is always only one thought. One thing experienced at a time. If it feels like many thoughts, it's just one thought.

So how do you know it is being witnessed? What tells you this?

Is it simply the feeling of knowing embedded in each sensation, sound, image, etc?

[gbeene]

Morning! This set of questions is harder to answer, so I spent the last couple days trying to see if I could make any headway in finding answers.

Here at LU we don't use it as much. If you look at awareness in direct experience, what do you find? Is there such a thing?

No special thing called awareness besides senses and thoughts. Though I wonder what these things are made of. I guess awareness practices would say they're made of awareness.

And who is enabling this to happen? There's no prediction of the cupboard thought, and who moves the body? Does a thought? An impulse? Is there someone making thoughts happen, or an impulse?

No, there is no thought or something besides direct experience moving the levers. But how does the body move? It seems like it does. It's probably possible with some higher level of realization to see there's no body, no moving, just.. whatever makes up everything that's "happening"... happening just happening.

So what is the problem? Is sadness or another feeling a problem?

No real problem, other than the expectation that this would make more sense to me.

So how do you know it is being witnessed? What tells you this?

Is it simply the feeling of knowing embedded in each sensation, sound, image, etc?

This is really where I've been looking the last couple of days. How do I know anything? How is something known? Where is the knower? Where is the thing looking for a knower? Is there a feeling of knowing embedded in anything? Can anything be embedded in something else, or is anything experience just completely itself? What is it that allows anything to exist?

I write that as questions because I haven't found an answer I can rest into. Still looking. There's no looker or knower or hear-er or feeler that I can find, but there does seem to be a reference point. It feels like hearing in my left ear is occurring to the left, not to the right. I am not hearing from "above", it converges to a center that seems located in my body. But I can't find that reference point when I look for it. But it doesn't feel like I've grokked the lesson in that.

[Bluejay]

No special thing called awareness besides senses and thoughts. Though I wonder what these things are made of. I guess awareness practices would say they're made of awareness.

Yes, lots of teachings and practices say lots of things that are concepts.

But how does the body move? It seems like it does. It's probably possible with some higher level of realization to see there's no body, no moving, just.. whatever makes up everything that's "happening"... happening just happening.

We could go into what the body is in direct experience, but let's focus on you getting caught by the thought 'But how does the body move?'

Who wants to know this?

So you you cannot predict when a thought happens or attention moves, so you cannot predict when the body moves, can you? What makes it move? What makes a cell in the body move? What makes a star in space go supernova?

In Buddhism this would be dependent origination and emptiness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYqaWmc4OGA

No real problem, other than the expectation that this would make more sense to me.

Find this me that needs this to make sense. Where is it?

Also, why does it need to make sense? If you dropped all figuring things out and sense-making, what would happen?

Any sense-making is empty. It is built upon concepts and knowledge that are nothing but air. It cannot touch 'reality'.

This is really where I've been looking the last couple of days. How do I know anything? How is something known? Where is the knower? Where is the thing looking for a knower? Is there a feeling of knowing embedded in anything? Can anything be embedded in something else, or is anything experience just completely itself? What is it that allows anything to exist?

This is excellent. You're beginning to touch something that will crumble everything.

The key is not to jump from here to thought. Instead, use the feeling of existential doubt and look.

You can look when there's a sensation, is there a feeler, or only sensation present?

When there is a thought, is there a watcher of thought, or just thought?

When there is sound, is there a hearer, or just sound?

I write that as questions because I haven't found an answer I can rest into. Still looking. There's no looker or knower or hear-er or feeler that I can find, but there does seem to be a reference point. It feels like hearing in my left ear is occurring to the left, not to the right. I am not hearing from "above", it converges to a center that seems located in my body. But I can't find that reference point when I look for it. But it doesn't feel like I've grokked the lesson in that.

And you won't find an answer that is understandable in thought. There's a reason why answers show up as insights. The insights show up as thought, but they are only reflections of shifts that have happened at a non-thought level.

The reference point is okay to be there for now. Let's stay focused on the separate self that believes it is thinking, watching, feeling, deciding, and moving the body.

Keep looking over and over where the self, watcher, thinker, hearer is. Any thought is a distraction from this, so let it be. Remember, the absence of an answer is the answer. Rest in that space of not-knowing.

[gbeene]

Hey, meant to respond this morning but here now.

Who wants to know this?

So you you cannot predict when a thought happens or attention moves, so you cannot predict when the body moves, can you? What makes it move? What makes a cell in the body move? What makes a star in space go supernova?

In Buddhism this would be dependent origination and emptiness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYqaWmc4OGA

Yeah there's nothing here besides sensations and thoughts. Anything that would say I'm moving or doing is a thought on top of it.

Find this me that needs this to make sense. Where is it?

Also, why does it need to make sense? If you dropped all figuring things out and sense-making, what would happen?

Any sense-making is empty. It is built upon concepts and knowledge that are nothing but air. It cannot touch 'reality'.

It's just a recurring thought. The me, I mean. There are bad feelings that arise that other thoughts say will be resolved if "I" somehow "understand" this process, or "get it." To that pattern, Making sense would mean I have more thoughts like "Ah yes I get this" and less thoughts of frustration or confusion. Neither of which have any bearing on direct experience.

This is excellent. You're beginning to touch something that will crumble everything.

The key is not to jump from here to thought. Instead, use the feeling of existential doubt and look.

You can look when there's a sensation, is there a feeler, or only sensation present?

When there is a thought, is there a watcher of thought, or just thought?

When there is sound, is there a hearer, or just sound?

This is still here most time is spent. Looking looking looking. Getting caught looking in thought and then returning to just looking. Looking for the looker. Feeling like the looking is just a sensation, but that sensation still carries a "Me" label. Seeing it's just a label, but feeling it all the same. Returning to looking... who sees the label, who feels it, if the label is just a thought, what is left that isn't a thought or the thing being labeled? And so on.

The reference point is okay to be there for now. Let's stay focused on the separate self that believes it is thinking, watching, feeling, deciding, and moving the body.

Keep looking over and over where the self, watcher, thinker, hearer is. Any thought is a distraction from this, so let it be. Remember, the absence of an answer is the answer. Rest in that space of not-knowing.

Ok, I won't expect to shift the reference point. Looking looking looking...


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[Bluejay]

It's just a recurring thought. The me, I mean. There are bad feelings that arise that other thoughts say will be resolved if "I" somehow "understand" this process, or "get it." To that pattern, Making sense would mean I have more thoughts like "Ah yes I get this" and less thoughts of frustration or confusion. Neither of which have any bearing on direct experience.

It's funny that thought tells you what is needed when it itself is obscuring what is already here.

What are you getting out of needing to go to thoughts to orient like this?

What is the benefit?

Say the following sentence and notice what comes up: I'm ready to let go of needing to understand this now

This is still here most time is spent. Looking looking looking. Getting caught looking in thought and then returning to just looking. Looking for the looker. Feeling like the looking is just a sensation, but that sensation still carries a "Me" label. Seeing it's just a label, but feeling it all the same. Returning to looking... who sees the label, who feels it, if the label is just a thought, what is left that isn't a thought or the thing being labeled? And so on.

Inquire into the one that is doing this inquiry.

Switch to just one question for awhile:

- Before thoughts, who am I?

Don't look for any answers in thought. Just feel. Don't even look. Just feel.

This isn't really about asking the question, but about the curiosity of what's going on. So don't robotically repeat the question. Instead, feel.

[gbeene]

It's funny that thought tells you what is needed when it itself is obscuring what is already here.

What are you getting out of needing to go to thoughts to orient like this?

What is the benefit?

It is very annoying, lol. I think I am looking, or feeling, or doing the inquiry, and then I realize I have been thinking the inquiry the whole time. It's like breaking through the surface from underwater, but there wasn't a surface, and I am still underwater.

Say the following sentence and notice what comes up: I'm ready to let go of needing to understand this now

Some definite material here. Fear and sadness. I repeated it a fair bit yesterday and will keep doing so today.

Inquire into the one that is doing this inquiry.

Switch to just one question for awhile:

- Before thoughts, who am I?

Don't look for any answers in thought. Just feel. Don't even look. Just feel.

This isn't really about asking the question, but about the curiosity of what's going on. So don't robotically repeat the question. Instead, feel.

Been doing this for the last couple sits. I ask the question and expand attention to everything that's happening that isn't thought, but also with the intent to watch for thoughts to arise so I don't get caught by them. I also ask, "When there are no thoughts, what is here?" and there is just what is being sensed, and thoughts coming in and out. Sorry, I guess that is adding another question to the one you gave me. I'm really just trying to feel from a place of just feeling, and not from a place of filtering experience via thoughts.

[Bluejay]

It is very annoying, lol. I think I am looking, or feeling, or doing the inquiry, and then I realize I have been thinking the inquiry the whole time. It's like breaking through the surface from underwater, but there wasn't a surface, and I am still underwater.

If you are noticing it happening, even if it takes a while, that's an important step to highlight. As the gap to noticing it becomes shorter and shorter, eventually it disappears.

Also it's good to remember that while we may be frustrated with the pace of progress, it's often for the best when looking back.

Some definite material here. Fear and sadness. I repeated it a fair bit yesterday and will keep doing so today.

Excellent! Let me know how it goes.

Been doing this for the last couple sits. I ask the question and expand attention to everything that's happening that isn't thought, but also with the intent to watch for thoughts to arise so I don't get caught by them. I also ask, "When there are no thoughts, what is here?" and there is just what is being sensed, and thoughts coming in and out. Sorry, I guess that is adding another question to the one you gave me. I'm really just trying to feel from a place of just feeling, and not from a place of filtering experience via thoughts.

This is fine. Sometimes questions can come from our intuition that are helpful, so don't feel the need to restrict yourself to my suggestions if you feel it is helpful.

If you start feeling confused, then revert back to just one question. Also if you find yourself jumping between questions and not in direct experience, that may be a good time to re-focus.

Sounds like you're doing great though, keep looking and be curious about what source of all of this is.

[gbeene]

Someone recently told me, "A watched pot never boils" in relation to practice progress and self-evaluation. An old metaphor, but one I never attributed to practice before. It really fits!

I am still doing as you said in the last post but wanted to say I am going out of town again this weekend so likely won't check in until Monday. Just so you know I am still in it, and not goofing off :)

[Bluejay]

That's a good metaphor!

I am still doing as you said in the last post but wanted to say I am going out of town again this weekend so likely won't check in until Monday. Just so you know I am still in it, and not goofing off :)

OK, thanks for letting me know, otherwise I just imagine you out there partying :-)

[gbeene]

OK, thanks for letting me know, otherwise I just imagine you out there partying :-)

Morning Henri! Nothing but partying over here. But where is the partier?

Been doing this for the last couple sits. I ask the question and expand attention to everything that's happening that isn't thought, but also with the intent to watch for thoughts to arise so I don't get caught by them. I also ask, "When there are no thoughts, what is here?" and there is just what is being sensed, and thoughts coming in and out. Sorry, I guess that is adding another question to the one you gave me. I'm really just trying to feel from a place of just feeling, and not from a place of filtering experience via thoughts.

This is fine. Sometimes questions can come from our intuition that are helpful, so don't feel the need to restrict yourself to my suggestions if you feel it is helpful.

If you start feeling confused, then revert back to just one question. Also if you find yourself jumping between questions and not in direct experience, that may be a good time to re-focus.

Sounds like you're doing great though, keep looking and be curious about what source of all of this is.

Still looking at this question but it feels a bit stagnant over the last couple of days, so I am probably missing some perspective, or some energy, or something. My father-in-law-to-be has been visiting us which feels distracting and I have not been sitting. How does one keep the fire burning with so much shit going on in daily life? It is so easy to become distracted. I want to blame this on myself and say I am not committed enough, I do not want it enough, it is my fault, I need to do something to fix it, to focus on nothing else, but then it just flops on the floor.

A couple helpful pointers I have read recently, that felt like they spoke to some part of me:

- There is no awareness of sensation, awareness is the sensation
- Reading about dependent origination and how it is not necessarily a progressive flow of links, but dependently co-arising links and if one link is seen, the other links are necessarily included in it.

The second one has me trying to hold a perspective of noticing how if my body exists, feeling exists, if feelings exist, there is only a certain subset of actions/thoughts/perceptions that happen based on/in the realm of those feelings. If I am in a bad mood, bad mood perceptions arise. If I am feeling inspired, inspired perceptions arise. This may be too much thinking/thought realm, but it does seem to satisfy some part of me in understanding how the whole "There is no do-er" must operate.

Anyways, still asking the question and looking for what is there before thoughts, where everything comes from, where is the looker.

[Bluejay]

Morning Henri! Nothing but partying over here. But where is the partier?

The partying continues with no one at the party. Emptiness dancing. Adyashanti got the title of his book right.

My father-in-law-to-be has been visiting us which feels distracting and I have not been sitting. How does one keep the fire burning with so much shit going on in daily life? It is so easy to become distracted. I want to blame this on myself and say I am not committed enough, I do not want it enough, it is my fault, I need to do something to fix it, to focus on nothing else, but then it just flops on the floor.

When there is great determination, there is a way to practice no matter what happens.

Maybe you don't want it enough, but can you find the one whose fault it is?

You could also do simpler practices, such as basic mindfulness during the day to increase peripheral awareness.

I would also say at this point to start really paying attention to your intuition and what resonates. The Inner GPS exercise might be good to do again. Let me know if you want me to put it here again.

I also have some meditation mp3s that might be fun to explore for you. You can grab them on this link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/ ... drive_link

These are not 100% aligned with LU inquiry, but at this point it just comes down to shaking something loose somewhere.

A couple helpful pointers I have read recently, that felt like they spoke to some part of me:

- There is no awareness of sensation, awareness is the sensation
- Reading about dependent origination and how it is not necessarily a progressive flow of links, but dependently co-arising links and if one link is seen, the other links are necessarily included in it.

Yes to the awareness thing. This is why when you look for the watcher, all you find are thoughts. Or look for the hearer, only find sounds.

The second one has me trying to hold a perspective of noticing how if my body exists, feeling exists, if feelings exist, there is only a certain subset of actions/thoughts/perceptions that happen based on/in the realm of those feelings. If I am in a bad mood, bad mood perceptions arise. If I am feeling inspired, inspired perceptions arise. This may be too much thinking/thought realm, but it does seem to satisfy some part of me in understanding how the whole "There is no do-er" must operate.

Anyways, still asking the question and looking for what is there before thoughts, where everything comes from, where is the looker.

This seems fine to me. Contemplating dependent arising/co-arising is often a bit head-y, at least at first.

What I did was to contemplate it, and then feel it. I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but that's what happened.

The way dependent origination made sense to me was to look at all the conditions coming together as Henri and then feeling how decisions happen when conditions are right, then I would just feel that. The whole universe coming together as typing this post.

Or the cosmos in a grain of sand, and so on.