The Gate

Great, Kerry
When you have time, do this next exercise. Take your time with it
Go out into nature and spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds - all move all the time.

Then move focus to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come and go, sounds, colours, sensations come and go.

Notice that everything is part of one movement.

Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself. If yes, where is the boundary?
Is there an inside and an outside of Life?
Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?
Is there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?
Is witnessing part of the one movement too?
Is there anything which is not just happening?

Go out, come back and tell me what you found.


xx

Hi Sioned,

Been a bit busy with the holidays, but did make it into nature for a bit. Was having a tough time with everything as one movement for some reason.

Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself. If yes, where is the boundary?

There is just the noticing of it all. No boundary line though.

Is there an inside and an outside of Life?

Life is everywhere, but I do feel like there is an inside my body and an outside my body.

Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?

There is that awareness that does not change like the movement does.

Is there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?

There does seem to be an aware noticing of it, but not at a distance. It feels like part of it, but also not part of it at the same time.

Is witnessing part of the one movement too?

It does seem so.

Is there anything which is not just happening?

It all just happens.

Thanks
Kerry

Hi Kerry

Was having a tough time with everything as one movement for some reason

that sounds positive to me

It all just happens.

yes! it does.

I'd like you to go on to the final questions now - would you be happy with that?
xx

Hi Sioned,

If you think I am ready, I guess so.

Kerry

I do, yes xx

Ok let’s do it 😊

In the morning! Xx

Here you go:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was
there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen?
How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?
xx

Hi Sioned,

I’m on vacation with the family and haven’t had much free time, but I will answer in the next few days

Much appreciation
Kerry

Take your time xx

How's it going?

Hi Sioned,

Sorry for the delay. Been traveling, jet lag and a bit of a cold. I will answer the last question in the next day or so.

Thanks for your patience.
Kerry

Ok xx

Hi Sioned,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was
there ever?

The separate self is just a thought/belief. There never was a separate self besides just thoughts of one.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The separate self forms at a young age. When language is understood and everything is given a label. You start off with a blank operating system and then start collecting data. The mind claims all these experiences as a separated entity. Most people do not look at the actual experience of thoughts and sensations to see that you cannot find a separate entity creating the thoughts. Thoughts just based on impressions recorded in the mind. Obviously your past programming is going influence what thoughts might pop up.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

When I first saw this hi laughed and then thought, we are all just puppets. I felt lighter. Things didn’t feel as personal. The habitual habits still come up, so I continue to work on it.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

I had pushed over prior with my own direct investigation. Realizing there is no separate self and nothing behind the curtain or impossible to use the mind to find something prior to mind.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.

Far as I can tell thoughts just pop up. Of course, like I mentioned, your prior experiences, genetics, etc. all play a factor in what is going to pop up in the brain. How a decision is made is just the mind coming up with one thought after another, often pros & cons and probabilities of outcomes and then one wins out. There is no free will or control because there is no separate entity. Whatever the circumstances were that led to the intention/desire, “I” didn’t create those. However, the body/mind can be programmed for specific desires much like pavlovian theory or propaganda.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

I couldn’t say what makes things happen. Just infinite causes and effects. Everything happens spontaneously.

What are you responsible for?

Ultimately if there is no you, can you be responsible for anything? This makes me think about justice and punishment. Given one person from another doesn’t have a choice as to what pops up in their mind and what thought/feeling might cause a reaction. The best you can do is teach kids correctly when young and those that have done wrong to change the programming.

6) Anything to add?

I recognized my imaginary self and what is left is just the aware/knowing/witness of all that arises in my being. However, I have not had the realization of this aware/knowing/consciousness being universal of which I believe is what is considered enlightenment/self realization.

Your thoughts are appreciated.

Thanks!
Kerry

Good.
I'll ponder rhythm some more, but re: q6, reminder hire we talked about expectations at the beginning? And how it's not going to be anything like you expect?