The Gate

Went to play with the kid. I'll get back on that. :)

Perfect!!!!

Namaste,

Now what indeed... even mind is actively producing thoughts, nothing comes to mind at the moment.🙏

:)

Namaste.

Hello Esa,

Checking back in.

All still clear and spacious?

Namaste,
Becca

Hi Becca, not at all, thanks for asking!
There are lot of, almost non-stop thoughts with companing emotions. There's wishing that it could be different, like clear and spacious you mentioned.

Where is the one who wishes it were different?

Look.

Find the one that is “wishing” for clear and spacious. Not the idea of that one. Not a story about you. The actual, present entity doing that wishing.

Is it there?

Or is the wishing itself just another thought… arising and vanishing in space?

Where is the one who wishes it were different?

Look.

Find the one that is “wishing” for clear and spacious. Not the idea of that one. Not a story about you. The actual, present entity doing that wishing.

Is it there?

Or is the wishing itself just another thought… arising and vanishing in space?

Hi,

I was pondering this already when I wrote the text... When the situation feels uncomfortable there is wishing that unpleasant thoughts and emotions would change to pleasurable ones.

When there's a itch I scratch. When I'm sick, there's wishing to get better. It's like that. Is there a entity? It's more of a reaction to situation. The resistance to what is, - boredom to chore and work filled life for example, is closest of being "the one who is wishing" even it's clearly just thoughts and feelings rising and falling.

( ps. I was driving the car and you came to mind spontaniously and I felt the loving compassion, where the message came from. Didn't have to check the phone when it made a message sound of a new email right then...)

Stop right now. Don’t move.

Let everything be as it is!

This moment. This exact one. Not the next.
What is wrong with it, really?

Strip away all interpretation. What’s actually here?

Not boredom. Not seeking relief. Those are translations.

Drop to the sensation underneath.
What’s it like? Where is it in the body? Does it have a boundary, a shape, a temperature?

Stay there.
Feel it directly—not from the thoughts about it.

Now tell me:
Does this moment, just as it is, actually need to change?

Or is that just a thought too?

PS You can only feel that loving compassion because you are that loving compassion. Not the idea of it, the concept, but the raw distilled vibration of it. There is a whole realm of the miraculous that spontaneously arises when there isn’t the needing to control or figure out. Not that everything is pleasant or pain free to the mechanism of thought but the layers of suffering that are on top of that will disappear and even the mundane moments, of driving, of looking at the sky, are perfect.

There is clear seeing there is no separate self and then there is this process of dissolving all the beliefs and hopes and resistances that come along with it. What would it look like to just allow, allow… ah, and yes, this too to it all?

Namaste.

Hello,

Now tell me:
Does this moment, just as it is, actually need to change?

No, it doesn't.

When doing this exercise there was glimpses of not looking to outside world from here but everything looking, experiencing, this experiencing. From this perspective it's all right.

Or is that just a thought too?

Only thoughts produce problems. Otherwise there would just be reactions or inaction. Thoughts, - or more their contexts, stir up emotions that can be unpleasant. When examining those feelings as they are, they are all right.

Hello Esa,

Only thoughts produce problems. Otherwise there would just be reactions or inaction. Thoughts, - or more their contexts, stir up emotions that can be unpleasant. When examining those feelings as they are, they are all right.

There it is—the hiding place.

“Only thoughts produce problems…”

Seems clear, right? Logical, insightful even. But look again.

Who is saying that?

That sentence is a thought. A thought about thoughts. A subtle narrator still running commentary, still maintaining a distance from what is. It’s polished, self-assured, and it slips past unnoticed as “awareness.” But it’s not. It’s control.

Here’s the trap:
You know the emotions are fine when examined. You know the body is just reacting. And yet—there’s still this stance of standing slightly outside it all, analyzing, assessing, labeling what is “all right.”

That stance is the self.

Not in the emotion. Not in the sensation.
In the assessment.

Drop that sentence. Drop all sentences.

Right now—what’s happening without that narrative?

Don’t answer. Look.

Is the body okay? Is the sensation okay?
Or does “okay” only show up after a thought decides it’s safe?

The discomfort isn’t in the emotion—it’s in the moment thought tries to define it, own it, contain it.

So…
Without a single thought—what exactly is the problem?

Don’t say it. See it.

And when you do, report not what you think—report what remains. :)

Namaste,
Becca

Namaste,

About a year has passed before I could give an answer to your guestion, apologies for that Becca even it couldn't have be otherwise.

The problem seems to be the perspective. Without awareness there isn't anything. Instead abiding in that, perspective is in the head looking at the world. Immersion is in thoughts and feelings. Even they are experienced in awareness, mostly it's not seen from that perspective. How could I let go asks the mind? Could you help with that?

Hello dear, lovely to hear from you.

Is “abiding as awareness” anything more than another perspective the mind is trying to maintain?

How could I let go asks the mind?

Let go of what?
And what is actually doing the holding on? Right now is there an entity inside your head managing perspective?
Search carefully. If you can’t find one what exactly needs to let go?

Hi, lovely to hear from you also!

Apparently more words need to be used to describe the situation here more accurately. Even truth is that everything is happening in awareness already, it's not lived experience most of the time.

When thoughts and memories come, it's all that is experienced then. They stir emotions. Emotions stir thoughts. This can go on hours and days. It's unpleasant. There's no entity you ask about needed for this. Those brief moments where perspective is awareness, aliveness, are very pleasant and peaceful.

So there are understandably thoughts saying that abiding as awareness should happen instead of thinking/emotions machine. From awareness perspective thinking is not a problem. There's no problem from that perspective. So is there something that can be done or is this utterly futile?

From awareness perspective thinking is not a problem.

That’s another layer of thought.
In the middle of a painful loop, are you actually in “awareness perspective”?
Or is that memory being used to resist what is happening?

The “awareness perspective” is simply what experience feels like when there is no resistance.

So the real inquiry is this:
When unpleasantness appears, what is being resisted?

You already know a feeling is sensation plus a thought story. so notice the body. Find the exact sensation that feels unbearable.Sit in it. Let it be as intense as it wants without narrating it.

When you remove the story about it, is the raw sensation itself actually a problem? Or is the problem the thought that it shouldn’t be here?