The Gate

I don't know why.. maybe expectations?

Ok, so what are the current expectations ?
Give me a rant.

Ok, so what are the current expectations ?
Give me a rant.

I expect a more peaceful and fulfilling life
Silence, since there is silence when it is acknowledged no I is thinking thoughts(but maybe its being imagined)
It will be enjoyed more in conditions that I currently don't like
Unconditional love
Blissful experiences (I know I shouldn't be expecting this)
I won't fear death anymore
I expect something unknown to be seen

It will be enjoyed more in conditions that I currently don't like

By "It" I meant life.

I expect a more peaceful and fulfilling life
Silence, since there is silence when it is acknowledged no I is thinking thoughts(but maybe its being imagined)
It will be enjoyed more in conditions that I currently don't like
Unconditional love
Blissful experiences (I know I shouldn't be expecting this)
I won't fear death anymore
I expect something unknown to be seen

Ok, gotcha. You expect a new improved 'you'. A better version of Ali.
Ali, reconcile the following with your expectations;
Most of the emotions you now encounter will continue (or not)
Fulfilling life won't be an issue. Goals may not exist (or they may)
Thoughts will continue.
There will still be preferences. Likes and dislikes.
There may not be any bliss. (or there may be)
Fear for physical safety in a dangerous situation will still occur (or not)
The known will be seen. (in a new way)
Of course, every awakening is unique.

Ok, gotcha. You expect a new improved 'you'. A better version of Ali.

Maybe

Ali, reconcile the following with your expectations;
Most of the emotions you now encounter will continue (or not)
Fulfilling life won't be an issue. Goals may not exist (or they may)
Thoughts will continue.
There will still be preferences. Likes and dislikes.
There may not be any bliss. (or there may be)
Fear for physical safety in a dangerous situation will still occur (or not)
The known will be seen. (in a new way)
Of course, every awakening is unique.

Ok I understand.

I don't think I can see this though.. I just get frustrated and give up.

Ali, reconcile the following with your expectations;
Most of the emotions you now encounter will continue (or not)
Fulfilling life won't be an issue. Goals may not exist (or they may)
Thoughts will continue.
There will still be preferences. Likes and dislikes.
There may not be any bliss. (or there may be)
Fear for physical safety in a dangerous situation will still occur (or not)
The known will be seen. (in a new way)
Of course, every awakening is unique.
Ok I understand.

Go through the list and see if you can imagine How the things i have listed (in response to your list) can be the case in a liberated state. What would make them possible. How are they different to your list ?

I don't think I can see this though.. I just get frustrated and give up.

Hmm, yes. i take it by your replies of few words that you are losing energy for it.
It may be the case that a break might be helpful.
The only way it wont happen is if you quit.
It may be that your mind/thoughts have induced this out of a sense of fear. That certainly happens.
You have shown great persistence, which in this mind is one of the necessities for liberation to occur.
i am prepared to keep going for as long as it takes. How about you ?

Go through the list and see if you can imagine How the things i have listed (in response to your list) can be the case in a liberated state. What would make them possible. How are they different to your list ?

I don't know what will make them possible or how they can be in a liberated state.

It seems I am basing my expectations on other peoples experiences, and your list is stating that it may not be exactly that.

I don't think I can see this though.. I just get frustrated and give up.

Hmm, yes. i take it by your replies of few words that you are losing energy for it.
It may be the case that a break might be helpful.
The only way it wont happen is if you quit.
It may be that your mind/thoughts have induced this out of a sense of fear. That certainly happens.
You have shown great persistence, which in this mind is one of the necessities for liberation to occur.
i am prepared to keep going for as long as it takes. How about you ?

I am willing to keep going as well. I will take a few days off from this thread.

Great, ok, take a break and DON'T beat yourself up about anything. In fact, each time you find yourself thinking about this stuff, push the thought away. Have a holiday from all of the doing. Things will progress unconsciously all the better for not thinking about it.
Talk to you in a few days.

I am ready to continue.

Great. Tell what is the current thoughts about the frustration that was felt before ?

Great. Tell what is the current thoughts about the frustration that was felt before ?

I don't get it.

These questions don't seem to help me, I still have a big sense of me-ness

These questions don't seem to help me,

Oh, ok. Let's consider the procedure of questioning and answering.
When i ask a question, do you think i am wanting to know something ? Do you think i am looking for some knowledge about you ?
When i ask a question, it is an opportunity for you to consider the response it elicits in you. It is the response in you when considering the question that i am really interested in, not the answer to the question.

i was asking you to consider what caused you to take a break (frustration) and tell what you feel about it now.
This also has the effect of focusing you inside and become aware of emotions. (at least that was the intention)

it is an opportunity for you to consider the response it elicits in you. It is the response in you when considering the question that i am really interested in, not the answer to the question.

Okay I understand this.

i was asking you to consider what caused you to take a break (frustration) and tell what you feel about it now.
This also has the effect of focusing you inside and become aware of emotions. (at least that was the intention)

Before I felt frustrated, confused and hopeless. I don't feel it now, because I am not using a lot of mental energy on figuring this out.

Great. Tell what is the current thoughts about the frustration that was felt before ?

It may have not looked like this , but the answer to this question was about the frustration not the question you asked. I suppose it's necessary so you can see where I am stuck.