Seeking help getting to the exit door

[Darrell]

I have mixed feelings about that. I understand where you are coming from, yet there's the fact that work in the last two months has been hugely beneficial. If you don't feel comfortable with it, I won't press you though. For whatever reason, Todd didn't have a problem with it, but everyone is different.

I do need to get some input from you though. What do you make of recent developments? I've been just going from day to day, moment to moment this last week, trying not to think about last Sunday, just letting things proceed by their own design. Something happened, that much is without question. I don't know how much you heard this last Thursday, but as I said to Leona, what happened was an astonishing non-event. something unquestionably took place, things are different, but it's very subtle. The 'someone' seeing, hearing, etc, is without a doubt, *gone*, yet it's subtle. The firm sense of someone in here, viewing out there is gone, yet again, it's subtle. It's strange, because you think that sort of transition would profound, or at least very distinct and unmistakable.

So before we wrap this up with whatever understanding that we do, do you feel the so called gateless gate has been passed through? If so, I'd appreciate following through LU's "official" process. I would like to become a guide for others at LU, and assume they would want to know that.

I want you to know I never meant to keep the work with Todd a secret. I honestly never thought about it after asking Todd about it. I asked him when I was working with Merlin. You took over for them, and I never really thought about it. After speaking with Todd about it, the thought never came to mind that it was a conflict. In fact, I truly viewed the two as being totally complementary and mutually supportive.

Anyway, if you wouldn't mind addressing the questions about last Sunday's development, I would appreicate it greatly.

[Bluejay]

I want you to know I never meant to keep the work with Todd a secret. I honestly never thought about it after asking Todd about it. I asked him when I was working with Merlin. You took over for them, and I never really thought about it. After speaking with Todd about it, the thought never came to mind that it was a conflict. In fact, I truly viewed the two as being totally complementary and mutually supportive.

No problem, Darrell. I forgot to mention it at the beginning of our conversation. I usually do that when I start with someone new.

I do need to get some input from you though. What do you make of recent developments?

Only you know what's going on, so let's explore.

The self illusion is the belief that there is a self within you that is:

- Deciding
- Controlling
- Experiencing
- Thinking
- Watching

Do you have a sense that there is a self/entity/you doing any of the above?

Do you make something happen?

Cheers!
Henri

P.S. Your name is in blue here on the forum, so you have been confirmed. You could, if you wanted to, get in contact with the admin to become a guide. Although I would recommend you make sure that you have broken the self-illusion.

[Darrell]

I'll contact admin. Thank you for everything.

to answer your question, no. That covert or subtle sense of someone receiving experience is gone. Infrequently a mild sense of it pops up, but it isn't believed in, and is immediately seen for what it is. when it does appear, it is seen from a distance, in a manner of speaking, rather than being somewhat hidden, and hard to spot precisely. Now it's as if it were a few inches out in front where it is seen clearly.

Your guidance, and your way of guiding were appreciated. At some point in the time, if I'm not working with anyone else, could I request your help again?

Last thing- you saw through self, and went beyond that, from what I read on your blog/webpage. That being the case, what made you seek out Chistiane's help, if you don't mind my asking?

[Bluejay]

I've sent you a private message!