Here are my answers to the Final Questions.
No.1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
I don't know where the tendency for it to arise came from.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
It appears as thoughts, mostly to do with the language habitually used to describe experience; 'I am hungry', rather than 'hunger is appearing/arising'. It appears most clearly when there is a strong feeling of craving or aversion; 'I' want to be closer to this, 'I' want to get away from that. It seems that the stronger the bodily sensation, the more persistent the thoughts are of 'I'. The sense of 'mine' is also just thoughts, which seem to just arise in dependence upon cultural conventions of thinking to do with possession; my cup, my clothes, my job.
Liberating! Relaxing. Spacious. The belief that there was an 'I' in control of, and responsible for, everything done, said and thought is gone. Although most of the same experiences, actions and thoughts are appearing as before, the stories of 'I' aren't believed anymore. There is more compassion arising in response to things like impatience, clumsiness, forgetfulness and so on that used to be attributed to an 'I' that was then blamed as responsible. The 'I'm like this or that' thoughts still arise, but they're seen to be just views.3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Noticing how the conception of a person that is imputed upon a collection of parts - body, habits, ways of thinking, - of fictional movie characters is so similar to how we impute a person on the collection of parts of a 'real' person, including 'this' one. And in conjunction with that observation, remembering Stacy saying "In a way, Descartes was right. Content of thought is ALL you are," and realising that what had been thought of as 'I' was just that - just a collection of thoughts. Then seeing that the conception of anything as an inherently existing thing, e.g. a tree, is created in the same way. All that is there is sense perceptions.4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
The train of thought that morning had led on from an exercise on looking at an apple: Actual/Direct Experience - Apple, which asks "Is an 'apple' actually known?"
Decisions are made, e.g. whether to meditate or have breakfast, but there is no self directing that. It's not known what, if anything, is directing or making decisions.5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
It's not known where this comes from either. Intentions arise, e.g. 'I'm going to make an effort to meditate more often', or whatever, but they arise without any preceding conscious direction. The label of 'I' is meaningless. Making an intention doesn't necessarily give rise to it being realised; there appears to be no control over that.Describe intention & give examples from experience.
There is none.Describe free will & give examples from experience.
The same as intention. Choices are made, e.g. breakfast or meditation, but it's not known how.Describe choice & give examples from experience.
There is none. Thoughts and actions arise unbidden by any conscious preceding direction or choice.Describe control & give examples from experience.
I don't know.What makes things happen? How does it work?
Legally, my actions. In reality, nothing, as there is no 'me' to be responsible.What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Much love and gratitude always for all your wisdom and kindness 🙏 🙏🙏6) Anything to add?
