The Gate

there's a world of difference in identification. I feel much lighter. There's still a body, thoughts, sense perceptions. I still get lost in thought.

Yes. Most of us do.

We have some checkpoint questions. Would you like to answer those? They will be shared with other guides, who may have questions.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Loving

Hi,

I need some time to answer these questions. I want to answer them honestly, but I am afraid my experience is still conceptual and not totally felt.
I think this is because I don't feel it in my bones, so to speak. I don't feel a self or no self.
I'm sorry if I'm frustrating. As I said, I don't expect to find a separate self, but I still have an expectation of a fully felt experience that leaves no question.

still have an expectation of a fully felt experience that leaves no question.

Unfortunately, that alone can keep you from recognizing your seeing or from accepting that tthis is it. This is all there is to seeing.

like the one I had before, but if I refer back to the past there's a world of difference in identification. I feel much lighter. There's still a body, thoughts, sense perceptions. I still get lost in thought.

That may be all you ever get.

You're stuck in doubt.

Have you watched this?

https://youtu.be/a_8N331jpA4?si=wHE8KmhO7n9uwLPp

Loving,

Thank you so much. The doubt the last couple of days has been huge.

I am questioning my expectations and working with accepting my present experience, whatever it is. Going back and forth between presence and doubt. There's so much to question and uncover. Trying to stay in the body.

Very helpful video.

Thank you for your help and pointing these things out.

Love,
Jacki

I will get to these questions and answer them the best I can over the weekend. We had an emergency with our male cat straining to pee and he went to the ER today. He's going to be ok. Apparently urinary problems are very common in male cats.

I was very present, concerned but not stressed.

I will post again soon. Have a good weekend!

Love,
Jacki

Sounds good. Good luck with the kitty.

Loving,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

I cannot find a separate self in any way shape or form. I only find thoughts. I am still looking but I don’t expect I will find anything or anyone.
I guess there never was one. I just thought there was. No matter how much I look, I’m certain I’m not going to find anything that could be called a separate self.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is the sense that there is a someone in your body/mind with an identity moving through time. It is all the conditioning you were brought up with. You learned it from your parents, society, teachers, friends and other people in general. It is relational. It starts very young, before you can even remember. I guess it starts when you start forming memories. From my own experience it has shaped my life from early childhood until recently. I think it could also be called ego. Or it’s part of the ego or the ego is part of the self idea. It’s the blabbing on of the mind, that voice that doesn’t shut up.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Life feels lighter, but also not very different. The last few days I have had a lot of doubt but I realize this and I’m directly questioning it.
When I had an awakening in August I didn’t know it was a realization of no-self. Stacy told me it was. I thought it was Kensho, but because of what I had read and seen in videos, I was expecting something to last longer. I was disappointed and have been waiting for it to happen again, even though the presence was so obvious. I was getting caught up in spiritual terminology.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

When I asked if there was a self there was a contraction in my chest as if it was a lie.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Decision just happens. You walk, get up, eat, pet your dog. There isn’t a someone making the decisions. Sometimes you might be conscious of making a decision. Other times life is just happening.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Intention would be having a planned course of action. It’s ok to have a plan, but the universe might have other plans. It helps to be open and understand that things don’t always go as planned and if I just go with the flow of things life is much easier.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

People think they have free will but always act based on their conditioning, myself included. I have learned that you can’t change people. They will act and make so called choices like the ones they always make, unless they really dig deep and want to learn who and what they really are. 
I still don’t know who and what I really am, but I know I’m not the voice in my head, because thoughts come and go. What I really am doesn’t come and go. This is an ongoing investigation into the nature of truth.
I see how I have acted in my life because of my conditioning. I acted in certain ways especially with relationships that were really unconscious. There really was no free will.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Choices are made. Sometimes they just happen. Sometimes I spend too much time and energy making choices and that is a habit.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

People want to feel like they are in control but the real freedom is when you give up the idea of control and just observe life as it happens.
Like wanting to control the actions of others. It’s more freeing to have no agenda for other people. More freeing for you and for them. It’s a form of love to have no agenda for someone. You accept them fully as they are.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

I don’t really know what makes things happen. There is cause and effect.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

I am always responsible for my actions because they affect others. I am responsible for not being a jerk, for being kind or at least polite. 
I am responsible for my own psychic space, my own state of consciousness. I can forgive myself and others. There isn’t much more because there really isn’t much I have control over.

6) Anything to add?

I answered these questions without thinking too much about them. They came from a sincere place, hopefully from my heart. I did re-read and edit them.
I have a commitment to truth, even if it is uncomfortable at times.

Okay. I can't know for you what you experienced or saw i probably said it seemed like some waking up or sounded similar to what people say about it. .


If decisions just happen, and there's no free will, how can there be cause & effect or responsibility?

Loving

If decisions just happen, and there's no free will, how can there be cause & effect or responsibility?

Cause and effect is apparent if you look at the environment. Because of sun, water and oxygen plants carry out photosynthesis, for example. Cause and effect is everywhere if you look around. If I drive through a red light there may be an effect of that cause.
People act based on their conditioning but they will have to suffer the consequences of their actions one way or another.
What happens in the now determines future events. This is cause and effect.
I feel like this is philosophical and I'm not sure where this is going. What is the point? If I haven't had the insight my answers are conceptual. You are trying to point me to something but I'm not seeing?

Yes. There is no cause & effect. Things just happen in a flow we can neither predict nor explain.

And "future" and "past" are stories, just thought. Let's look closer.

You didn't mention responsibility. That's just a story, too.

Let's look at time first.

Time Pointer

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time, or an event that is moving forward on a linear line, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

How long does the ‘now’ last?

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

Loving,

I love these questions. I will post my answers tomorrow.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

No, the now is just now.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

No

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

No

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

The present moment doesn’t move

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No

How long does the ‘now’ last?

The now is eternal

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

The now doesn’t start or end.

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

The now is always now.

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

In actual experience, the past is thought.

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

There is no actual experience of time. Actual experience is always now.
Thoughts about time (past or future) occur in the now.

All true.

Where does that leave the stories of cause & effect and responsibilities?

Loving,

Where does that leave the stories of cause & effect and responsibilities?

The stories don't make sense. They are just stories. It's just this moment.

Right. Good. Now can you please copy your previous answers into a new page, adjusting as needed for this new understanding. I'll share that with other guides, who may have questions.

Much love