Seeking the end of Seeking

[Govinda]

Hi again,

But if "I" choose to look right or left, life did not do it, it was totally Sebastians choice, isn't it?

Look closely. Wasn't the looking left or right the REACTION to prove me wrong?

In this case yes, but often times I look deliberately look left or right out of free Will. Totally free.

[Hopefulness]

Hi again,

In this case yes, but often times I look deliberately look left or right out of free Will. Totally free.

Look closely the next time you find yourself "freely" looking left or right. You will always find that "you" are reacting to something life presents, or possibly a memory of something life presented. If you can't find it, it's because you don't want to, because of the fear of losing control-which, ironiically, "you" have never had.

[Govinda]

Hi again,

In this case yes, but often times I look deliberately look left or right out of free Will. Totally free.

Look closely the next time you find yourself "freely" looking left or right. You will always find that "you" are reacting to something life presents, or possibly a memory of something life presented. If you can't find it, it's because you don't want to, because of the fear of losing control-which, ironiically, "you" have never had.

In a silent moment it seems that I can hold my hand up and choose to move it right or left according to free Will apparently. But it's true that this conversaion initiated this process and the Impuls to look right or left is not chosen but just arises. But that's not where you point to I guess.

While writing this I looked to the left seemingly spontaniously a few times which thoughts claim that it is "me" who did it, but it was no act of free Will as you asked for, more spontanious impulses.

So let me look a again. Can't find anything that is not initiated by circumstances, feelings, thoughts, impulses, etc., that are outside of "me".

Somehow this "seeing" does not sink deeper. I think "I" am stuck in thoughts somehow. It is obvious that I don't make the seeing, hearing, thiniking etc. but still there is the assumption, that I exist as a separate entity which of course is a thought but it is the apparent experience. The investigations of "me" seem to push the seeking energy even more without seeing through the illision. I am going in circles here somehow.

[Hopefulness]

Hi again,

I think "I" am stuck in thoughts somehow.

"I" IS a thought. It cannot be "stuck" in another thought. It can only precede or follow another thought.

The investigations of "me" seem to push the seeking energy even more without seeing through the illusion.

Is there actually an investigation going on or just a feeling of restlessness with a label "investigation" attached to it. Are there any questions ACTUALLY being asked here or just labels on feelings. All feelings are allowed in this, not just the "good" ones.

I am going in circles here somehow.

Are you? Are "YOU" really? Or are repetitive thoughts just coming up? Do repetitive thoughts need a "you" to happen? Do "you" control the thoughts? Do repetitive thoughts prove anything to be true?

[Govinda]

I think "I" am stuck in thoughts somehow.

"I" IS a thought. It cannot be "stuck" in another thought. It can only precede or follow another thought.

that's true of course.

The investigations of "me" seem to push the seeking energy even more without seeing through the illusion.

Is there actually an investigation going on or just a feeling of restlessness with a label "investigation" attached to it. Are there any questions ACTUALLY being asked here or just labels on feelings. All feelings are allowed in this, not just the "good" ones.

Maybe the feeling of restlessness requires attention first before doing inquiry questions.

I am going in circles here somehow.

Are you? Are "YOU" really? Or are repetitive thoughts just coming up? Do repetitive thoughts need a "you" to happen? Do "you" control the thoughts? Do repetitive thoughts prove anything to be true?

No "I" am not going in circles. That's impssible. Thoughts just telling stories. Stories and repetitive thoughts need no "me" to happen. There is no "I" to control thoughts. Thoughts just happen. Repetitive thoughts do not prove anything to be true.
Just thinking an feeling running by itself. No one in comtrol here. Thoughts are empty, "I" am empty.

[Hopefulness]

Hi again,

Maybe the feeling of restlessness requires attention first before doing inquiry questions.

O.K. Describe restlessness in terms of thoughts and feelings? Look closely. What is it made of?

[Govinda]

Hi again,

Maybe the feeling of restlessness requires attention first before doing inquiry questions.

O.K. Describe restlessness in terms of thoughts and feelings? Look closely. What is it made of?

Restlessness is the thought "I need to reach something that is not here yet because I am incomplete and separate". The feeling is maybe fear and stress.

[Govinda]

I would like some simple comment from you on a regular basis on the daily exercise of "finding where 'you' stop, and experience begins.

No separation found, just silence and freedom.

[Govinda]

Is there a self in direct experience? Can you find a “me” that is more than a thought?

Code: Select all

https://www.1ness.info/eq.htm

No, can not find a self other than in thought.

How about not fabricating anything for a moment, and simply looking at what’s present
right now? Do “you” exist at all?
https://www.1ness.info/eq.htm

Can not answer if I exist at all. There is just experience.

How do you know there is a witness, apart from just the obvious process of witnessing
or observation? How is there a witness as an entity? Where is it? Does it actually exist?
https://www.1ness.info/eq.htm

Can not find a witness.

. Is there any other possibility for the present moment than what actually is present?
https://www.1ness.info/eq.htm

no, there can just be what is.

Look at your thoughts and see if you can
control any thought. Is there a controller of thought? Is there a thinker?
https://www.1ness.info/eq.htm

Can not control thoughts. just thoughts claiming a controller and thinker.

If we subtract the tendency to believe the “my-ification”
labels on virtually everything, what is there? Take away the layers of story and habitual
appropriation of experience, and what is there?
https://www.1ness.info/eq.htm

Without story and labeling there is just life unfolding spontaneously.



Feeling so frustrated. Why is it not seen clearly that there is no separate self? Where am I stuck? The evidence is clear to the mind, but seeing is not clear yet. So frustrated.
Maybe I writ down my expectations again:

Seeing no-sef is freedom from suffering, from seeking. I feel light and relaxed, no stress, no fear, everything going smooth and easy. Seeing no-self causes me to be detached from pain and suffering, I am connected to wholeness, peace and love, not needing anything, being totally independent from worldly pain, just peace and joy, no problems, everybody loves and adores me, especially women. I am exaggerating a little.

So now look at the real possibility that there is no “you” in real life.
That all is happening by itself, without a manager. Look inside and tell
me what feeling comes up; do you recognise fear, resistance, frustration,
what is it?
https://www.liberationunleashed.com/wp- ... ashers.pdf

Frustration.

Think of this—you see the frustration and the
knowledge as these barriers? Whose frustration? Whose knowledge?
Who owns this frustration? This knowledge?
https://www.liberationunleashed.com/wp- ... ashers.pdf

there is No owner of the frustration. just frustration.

There is the thought that "there is something to get that I have not reached yet". "I am separate and I need to look through the fiction to end suffering". This is all the story of separate Sebastian, having lost wholeness and therefore having to seek and suffer. But it is seen that it is fiction. There is no Sebastian having lost wholeness and there never was a Sebastian having lost wholeness. There is only the story of Sebastian having lost wholeness. Sebastian does not exist and wholeness never was lost. There just is the story of it.

[Govinda]

Ask the question, is it true that there is no separate self whatsoever in reality?
Let the doubt in. Ask for the truth to be revealed.
https://www.1ness.info/eq.htm

yes it is true.

[Govinda]

It is seen that the seeking and suffering of separate Sebastian is a story. Separate Sebastian seeking and suffering on his journey back to wholeness is fiction like a movie. Quite funny. In reality there only is wholeness, that what apparently is, everything else is story.

[Govinda]

It is seen that the seeking and suffering of separate Sebastian is a story. Separate Sebastian seeking and suffering on his journey back to wholeness is fiction like a movie. Quite funny. In reality there only is wholeness, that what apparently is, everything else is story.

It is seen on a thought level but it is not totally clear. There is still some truth in the story apparently and I can`t help but not believe it. No one is controlling if seeing happens or not. Nobody is doing the seeing through or believing in stories. It just happens as it happens. Live unfolding as it does spontaneously without somebody in control. Helplessness arising without a Feeler. Writing happens without a writer. Trying to look through without a tryer.

[Govinda]

Apparently the seeking energy/thinking took over thinking which is a story. "I need to unveil truth" "I need to look through fiction" which is in itself a story and fiction. Truth or reality is always here, ins''t it?

[Govinda]

What are you without seeking?
-Ilona Ciunaite

"I" would not exist as a apparently separate being if there was no seeking. This is freedom, this is liberation.

[Govinda]

Who would you be without your
story?
https://www.1ness.info/eq.htm

Sebastian does only exist as story. Without story there is peace and freedom. Wholeness. No Sebastian, no separation.