The Gate

I want to use this realization to peel back the layers of identity
I want to express my potential and explore what i am capable of
I want to peel away negative self image and association with drugs
I want to peel away fear of sucess and negative mentality

Xx

All of this wanting. Its ok. But experience wants nothing. It cant want, otherwise it would be a thought...hm,looking at this the thought just came up, and we may have gone over this, thoughts cant want...there is desire, and then there is thought, explaining the desire, a thought cant want because it is not an entity..desire arises into experience, something triggers it off, then thoughts about the desire try to define what it is. But, thoughts can also trigger desire? Its the chicken or the egg, which came first, i am seeing now it can go both ways, but feelings dont think and thoughts dont feel!

Hi Adam

I want to use this realization to peel back the layers of identity

What is 'self realization'?
When aren't you speaking from the perspective of no self?
Who or what would realise? What is there to realise? Look.

I want to express my potential and explore what i am capable of
I want to peel away negative self image and association with drugs
I want to peel away fear of sucess and negative mentality

What is this ‘I’ that wants? Where is the wanter? Is it thoughts wanting something other than what is? What is bothered by thoughts being there?

desire arises into experience, something triggers it off,

Does it? Or does it just arise along with thoughts explaining what and where it came from etc. creating story – look.

But, thoughts can also trigger desire? Its the chicken or the egg, which came first, i am seeing now it can go both ways, but feelings dont think and thoughts dont feel!

Story! What is being experienced in direct experience?
Hugs Sarah xxx

I dont know, theres nothing there, just awareness.

Ego, thoughts, whatever you call it, i dont know what is bothered by it other then more thoughts.

Thats kinda what i was saying though Sarah, desire comes and thought comes saying what the desire is.

I dont know because i dont really desire anything right now that i can see, i want to do good at this job interview in an hour, i am mad because i think i am telling you what i saw come up in direct experience, this whole lookig thing, i get confused aboit whats direct experience and whats not.I dont know , i still feel desire comes up followed by thought saying this is it, this is what is desired.

Hi Adam

I dont know, theres nothing there, just awareness.

So what wants self realization then? Anything/nothing? When aren't you speaking from the perspective of no self?

i get confused aboit whats direct experience and whats not.

Direct experience is what is directly experienced – that’s it. So if thoughts are experienced then they are direct experience – but the content? Can you say that is directly experienced?
Ca you say sensation is directly experienced? Can you say someone else is directly experienced? Is desire directly experienced or are thoughts about a sensation directly experienced?
Hugs Sarah xxx

Good morning Sarah
Well, it certainly isn't awareness wanting realization,
Its thought(egoic consciousness) its the only thing i can see

Again, i cant seperate thought from content because content (what is being thought) IS the thought, if you think the chair is hard i am sitting on, that is the content and the thought but not the actual experience of the chair
Feeling sensation is experiences but the thoughts about it are never what the actual experience is like, so how is thought direct experience and not direct experience

Hi Adam

Well, it certainly isn't awareness wanting realization, Its thought(egoic consciousness) its the only thing i can see

So when aren't you speaking from the perspective of no self?

Again, i cant seperate thought from content because content (what is being thought) IS the thought, if you think the chair is hard i am sitting on, that is the content and the thought but not the actual experience of the chair

Is there watching the thought – like watching a cloud crossing the sky? If so rest there. If there is engagement with the content – is something watching that too? If so rest there.
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah!
So nothing has changed, its just a realization of whats always been. So if i never went through this process i would still be apeaking from no self it justw wouldbt be known? But surely something has changed even though nothing has changed.

Yes, ever since that night sitting outside when i realized it watching, even tho i noticed it before, but ever since that night i,ve really been able to rest in the awareness whenever

Hi Adam

So nothing has changed, its just a realization of whats always been. So if i never went through this process i would still be apeaking from no self it justw wouldbt be known? But surely something has changed even though nothing has changed.

You tell me.

Yes, ever since that night sitting outside when i realized it watching, even tho i noticed it before, but ever since that night i,ve really been able to rest in the awareness whenever

When aren’t you there?
Hugs Sarah xxx

Yes

Never

Hi Adam
Is this clear now? Is there any doubt/confusion etc? If so is it seen to be anything but thought?
Hugs Sarah

Good morning Sarah,

What did you mean when you asked can I experience people?
I can see people and touch them, but i cant experiencw what they experience

Hey Adam

What did you mean when you asked can I experience people? I can see people and touch them, but i cant experiencw what they experience

Look at what is experienced. Can you see people? Or is seeing experienced with an overlay of thoughts about what is seen? Which?
Can you experience something you don’t experience?
Hugs Sarah xxx

I see what we call people. They seem to carry memorys and consciousness.
Seeing is experienced with thought overlay and belief overlay and subconscious thought,

How can i experience what i dont experience? That would be imagination (thought)

But other human beings operate without me having imagined them, seen them, or thought about them. They do not have to be in my direct experience to be.

Hi Adam

I see what we call people. They seem to carry memorys and consciousness.

What is the ‘we’ here? ‘Seem’ is a good word – can you really know though?

How can i experience what i dont experience? That would be imagination (thought)

Exactly.

But other human beings operate without me having imagined them, seen them, or thought about them. They do not have to be in my direct experience to be.

How do you know this outside of thought? And again – how can you experience something you don’t experience?
Hugs Sarah xxx