The Gate

Hi Sarah,

Sarah, I've got my head up my ass, this choice thing has me buggy. I bought a roll again this afternoon,
and it seemed that grading or criteria for selection can be accomplished just by seeing? Or is thought coming so fast I'm not seeing it? I'm totally lost here. The mirror just reflects, good or bad is thought, therefore seeing can't judge rolls?? I do enjoy this but this may take a lot of choosing and seeing to get it clear. Can't answer your questions now, need more time to look at choosing

Thanks Sarah -- Larry

Hi Larry

Sarah, I've got my head up my ass, this choice thing has me buggy. I bought a roll again this afternoon,
and it seemed that grading or criteria for selection can be accomplished just by seeing? Or is thought coming so fast I'm not seeing it? I'm totally lost here. The mirror just reflects, good or bad is thought, therefore seeing can't judge rolls?? I do enjoy this but this may take a lot of choosing and seeing to get it clear. Can't answer your questions now, need more time to look at choosing

LOL!
OK – gently push aside thought and stand outside of thought – can you do that? Watch instead of follow? Just notice what thoughts do or don’t do. Notice where they come in – don’t worry if noticing doesn’t happen! Only thoughts would tell you off for missing it! Notice that too! Just notice choosing happening. In all its forms – ones when you seem to be deliberately picking and ones where no thought happens at all – just choice happening naturally and seamlessly.
Is it thought that says all this chatter actually has an impact on the choosing?
Are thoughts in control? Have they the power to choose? Is there a ‘you’ doing the choosing?
Breathe!
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah.

I was back at the zucchini stand today. I approached the bin and thought was very quiet. I started scanning the zucchini ( just seeing, no one doing the scanning), one looked acceptable, the hand/arm took the zucchini and placed it into a plastic bag. Thought was still quiet when I realized this was action/doing not choice. The seeing seemed to be able to discern a frumpy looking zucchini from a nice one.
I don't buy food ahead of time so I'm in the supermarket practically every day. I usually decide early that day, or even the day before as to what to have for dinner. This is a thought process. I have plenty of chances to buy produce.
The only thing I might be confused on is whether seeing alone can place a value judgement on something.
Seeing didn't make a choice, just scanned until it found one that didn't look beat up.
Again, there was no one doing the choosing,the mind was quiet, yet seeing scanned and found a zucchini.

This is the only question I'm stuck on. I don't want to try to bullshit my way through this question, so thank you for the patience.

Thanks Sarah -- Larryxxx

Hi Larry

I was back at the zucchini stand today. I approached the bin and thought was very quiet. I started scanning the zucchini ( just seeing, no one doing the scanning), one looked acceptable, the hand/arm took the zucchini and placed it into a plastic bag. Thought was still quiet when I realized this was action/doing not choice. The seeing seemed to be able to discern a frumpy looking zucchini from a nice one.

Fabulous! :)

I don't buy food ahead of time so I'm in the supermarket practically every day. I usually decide early that day, or even the day before as to what to have for dinner. This is a thought process. I have plenty of chances to buy produce.

OK – check this 'I don’t usually decide'. Has the hand ever taken any food that thought didn’t decide on? And if thought and hand appear to agree – does that actually mean that thought controlled the hand? Look for this!

The only thing I might be confused on is whether seeing alone can place a value judgement on something. Seeing didn't make a choice, just scanned until it found one that didn't look beat up.
Again, there was no one doing the choosing,the mind was quiet, yet seeing scanned and found a zucchini.

No one is saying that choosing doesn’t exist! Choosing happens. BUT is there a Larry doing it behind the scenes pressing the yes and no button where zucchinis are concerned! Keep testing this till it is seen!

This is the only question I'm stuck on. I don't want to try to bullshit my way through this question, so thank you for the patience.

Good!
Big zucchini hugs Sarah xxx

]Hi Sarah,

Was in the supermarket looking for rolls. I approached the bin, grabbed a plastic bag, thought goes "now grab a bag".
Thought calmed down, the rolls were scanned, and one was grabbed. No one doing the choosing, just scanning and grabbing. Same with the banana stand. Scanned the array of bananas, seeing found some, and they were taken.
Again, no one doing the choosing, just scanning and grabbing.
It's so simple it's hard to see. If there is no one to do the choosing, how can there be a choice! Seeing seems to choose, but it doesn't, it just sees.

Thanks Sarah -- Will post some answers to the questions starting tomorrow. --- Larryxxx

Hi Larry

It's so simple it's hard to see. If there is no one to do the choosing, how can there be a choice! Seeing seems to choose, but it doesn't, it just sees.

Fantastic!
Are we clear now? Anything else Larry? Or are you good to go with the final questions?
Big hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,

The final questions are almost done, will post them either tonight or will have them for Thursday.
Sarah I also do want to thank you for doing this for me. I know I get cranky or really have off days, but you have been an excellent guide. I did enjoy this, and I will miss you when it's over!

Thanks Sarah -- Larryxxx

Hi Sarah,

Sarah, if you don't like any of these answers I can rewrite, add or subtract, whatever. Let me know.

1) Is there a separate entity “self”, “me”or “I” at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is no separate entity “self”, “me” or “I”, at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form. It’s all thought, thinking.
There never was a separate entity “self”, “me”or “'I”. Again, it was just thought masquerading as a separate self.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

It’s just thought feeding off the past to create the illusion of a separate, independent self who is in charge of this body/mind. It thinks it controls it’s own destiny.
Don’t know how it starts. Probably as a child we learned to refer to our body/mind as “me” or “I”. Over a period of time this was internalized and became accepted as real.
This body/mind functions perfectly well, no reason whatever for this false “I”. It’s just extra baggage.
“I” am the same person as before, just seen that “me” or “I” is just thought.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Actually it doesn’t feel much different than before. The “self”, “me”or “I” is an illusion, “what is” doesn’t change.
The seeing of no self became much clearer, the mind did slow down, easier to stay with ”what is”, easier to watch thoughts or fantasies.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I’ve been looking for 40yrs. I understood early on that there was no self. I spent years trying to get rid of it. Then I read in the LU literature that it was not possible to get rid of self, you just have to realize, or see, that it is nothing but thought. That, and with the help of a guide, is when I really started looking.

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

There is no”I” to decide, intend, choose, control events in Life. Life just happens. Life itself can just be experienced.
I still cook my own meals, go shopping, watch movies, read books, go to the gym, etc. There is just no one doing this anymore. There is just doing. Things are getting done just fine.

6) Anything to add?

For conversational purposes it’s easier to use the term body/mind. I don’t know where thought occurs, seems to be inside the skull, everything else is outside. The body is just tactile or visual stimulation, don’t really know what that is either.

Thanks Sarah -- Larryxxx

Thanks Larry
Ill pass these onto the other guides to check over. If they see something - I may be back with a question or a clarification - so can you keep checking in? I have no idea how long this will take though!
I will pm you at some point! OK.
Hugs Sarah xxxx

Hi Larry
Got some questions for you.

For conversational purposes it’s easier to use the term body/mind. I don’t know where thought occurs, seems to be inside the skull, everything else is outside.

"What is it that finds an inside and an outside in any experience?"

How inside or outside is experienced?

What is the skull in direct experience?
Hugs Sarah xxx

For conversational purposes it’s easier to use the term body/mind. I don’t know where thought occurs, seems to be inside the skull, everything else is outside.

"What is it that finds an inside and an outside in any experience?"

No one! There isn't inside or outside being experienced. Inside and outside are the same thing. It's one movement.

How inside or outside is experienced?

Same as above.

What is the skull in direct experience?

I don't know. I was reading and somebody asked where does thought exist? Amazingly, I Couldn't answer.
Thought, headaches, memories, for practical purposes do seem to be in the head. But if you actually look that seems to be not true. "For conversational purposes" is nothing but thought!
In De it's all the just one perceptual field. It's just seeing with no seer.

Thanks Sarah -- Larryxxx

Hey Larry - Im pm-ing you know!!!!! :)
Big hugs
Sarah xxxxx