It’s very normal during the inquiry for emotional reactions to come up. Clients quite often feel that their guides are not listening to them, or not understanding them, or that the guide’s words are too blunt or harsh. All sorts of emotions can come up, like anger, frustration, resentment, fear, judgement, feeling being judged, avoidance, resistance, etc. These are all normal. These all happens because the seeming me feels threatened.
Some clients get so upset that they ask for a new guide. And when they get a new guide everything feels fresh and new, but sooner than later they get upset with the new guide too. And at this point they often abort the inquiry without even saying a word.
This is all normal, and part of the process. We get triggered by the same patters which have always been with us from childhood. There is nothing new here, just recycled reactions and patterns.
I’m not expecting a ‘perfect looking’. But I hope you can see that I cannot let go on dead end road.I will continue to try and look as best I can. But I can't guarantee you that every time is gonna be a perfect looking. So if those are your conditions, then it sounds like you may indeed leave the process if you don't get the level of looking you're requiring.
I have to point out again and again when you are intellectualizing.
I have more than 15 clients, and there is just one person beside you who I spend as much time and effort as with you. To all of the other clients I reply back only once a day, but with you two, I reply several times a day. And it’ not rare that a reply takes half an hour or sometimes even longer to write. So clearly, I am fond of you, but it doesn’t mean that I will always reply as you would expect me. Sometimes it’s necessary to be blunt to wake up someone from intellectualization. This is one the biggest hurdles to get through.
Ultimately, my job is to help you along the way and point you to see through the self for yourself, even if you don’t feel comfortable and happy all the way along. You might find my words harsh (but I don’t mean it to be harsh), that my job is not to make you happy, but to help you to SEE what is actually going on, instead of what you think is going on. My job is to help you ‘wake you up’ form the dream of story-land.
There is almost no client, who after some time, doesn’t start to rely on the memory of previous looking. It’s so common that I literally copy-paste a text for everybody when they get to that stage. And this is exactly what I did with you too. So it’s not personal at all. It’s part of the process.
Here is what I am referring to:
With looking, you ALWAYS have to LOOK AFRESH and NEVER RELY ON MEMORY of previous looking. Why? Because if you rely on the memory of a previous looking in a form of a thought: “I know there is no self” without actually looking afresh for a self, then in that moment the no-self is just a belief. So every time it seems like or feels like as if there were a self, but you just remind yourself with the thought “there is no self”, then you just covering up one belief (the seemingly perceived self) with another belief (there is no self).
It’s the looking and looking and looking and more looking that brings about the realization.
So every time I ask a question, you always have to look afresh, to see it again and again what is being pointed it. Can we agree on this?
So please reply to this, since it’s essential to always look afresh.
Also, look at these too:
The ‘I’ trust?V: Is there a ‘true self’ outside of concepts?C: No (I just saw that clearly, for one quick moment).
But there are huge body sensations coming up, that the 'I' intuitively trusts.
Can a fiction trust?
Or there is only a fictional story about an I trusting?
Vivien
