The Gate

Hi Silvia, where are you?

Hey ho Peter!

Apologies for the delay. I couldn't write during the weekend, then I lost the answer I typed up this morning! Arghhh...!!

Oh, well. I'll write it again now :-)

As I've mentioned before, keep looking and writing even if I don't get back to you. I try to answer every day, but sometimes life gets in the way. Good thing is you don't really need me! What's important is that you keep looking.

You wrote,

When I ask them if they are true, I get the same „automated“ response: „It is bad.“, „It is good.“, but in the direct experience there is neither bad nor good seen. For example. I have slept for 2 hours this afternoon. Now a thought says, that it is „bad“ to sleep during a day. Ok, show if it is really bad! – Nothing seen. I look at the bed where I was sleeping, but neither „bad“ nor „good“ found. That „bad“ / „good“ is only in the head.

Excellent! Have you looked and found more examples like this in the last few days? You don't have to write about them, but is it becoming clearer that thoughts just tell a story that doesn't need to be taken literally? How does it feel to see things this way?

There were thoughts which item to pick, like a „battle“ – „This smells so good.“, „This is more healthy than that one.“ „What about to eat both of them?“ „Ok, this will be the first, that the second to be picked up.“ And finally the „take“ action happend. It happend spontaneosly.

There was a strong belief that I was „making a decision“ because of those thoughts.

Great stuff. Let's look at this word belief. When you look from direct experience, what is a belief? What do you find under that word?
What's the difference in direct experience between a "strong" belief and a "weak" belief? Is a strong belief somehow more real than a weak one.

Hey man! ...just realized This is tricky!:-) You wanted to me to choose one item of the two items. ...but I have no clue why those „2 items“ were chosen for the exercise. It happend spontaneosly without thinking (or I do not remember it was thinking about at all). I only opened the fridge and automatically chose items for the test. This decision/choice seems to be only a story. An explanation what is going on, what and why happend.

He, he, he :-) Good noticing!

Let's do another exercise. Try to remember something you've done that you feel proud of, and something you've done that you feel ashamed of. Sit with each memory for a bit. Looking first into one, then the other. Notice the emotions and thoughts/stories that arise with each one.
Which story feels more real? Which one do you identify more with? Why?

When you look at each story, apart from the thoughts that say so, can you find the do-er who did the good or bad thing?
When you look back can you pinpoint the moment when "you" decided to those things?

There may be thoughts that say, yes I did that, or yes, I decided that, but can you find the thinker of those thoughts?

It seems to be a character that lives only in the world built up by the thoughts.

Exactly. When thoughts are absent, what happens to all the worries and hopes and problems of this character?

Do we need to get rid of these stories and thoughts in order to be free from them? Or is it enough to just see them for what they are?

So how has it been these last few days? Have you noticed more clarity around your experience? Have you had any doubts?

Much love
xxx

Hi Silvia,

Excellent! Have you looked and found more examples like this in the last few days? You don't have to write about them, but is it becoming clearer that thoughts just tell a story that doesn't need to be taken literally? How does it feel to see things this way?

There is a doubt connected with that. It seems that every thought can be questionned if it is true. There are some repeative thoughts in my head and doubts if they say truth. It is about what to do after my current job is over. Looking for a new one? Going abroad and learn english or travel? Try to live an alternative life style on the countryside? There is a not knowing what to do. The thoughts are seen as stories, but I trust none of them if they really solve the problem „how to survive.“

Let's look at this word belief. When you look from direct experience, what is a belief? What do you find under that word? What's the difference in direct experience between a "strong" belief and a "weak" belief? Is a strong belief somehow more real than a weak one.

It is sure that belief is only related to the thoughts, the mind. Under that word is nothing tangible. A thought says that belief is an acceptance that the thought really reflects the reality because of other thoughts, memories confirm that. It is like to hear everyday that „there are many young people without a job in Europe“. It is somehow believed in because of media say that. I am not able to verified it now from my direct experience. I only see "I do not know."

Try to remember something you've done that you feel proud of, and something you've done that you feel ashamed of. Sit with each memory for a bit. Looking first into one, then the other. Notice the emotions and thoughts/stories that arise with each one. Which story feels more real? Which one do you identify more with? Why?

At this moment they are seen as memories. As memories they are both real. I do not identify with any of them more. It is like 50:50.

When you look at each story, apart from the thoughts that say so, can you find the do-er who did the good or bad thing?

An automated response is ME. What is seen now are memories – a child who did those things.

When you look back can you pinpoint the moment when "you" decided to those things?

No, or I am not sure if it can be trusted what memories says. It seems that in both cases an idea came up and then a realization of the idea happend.

There may be thoughts that say, yes I did that, or yes, I decided that, but can you find the thinker of those thoughts?

„I did that...“ is an automated response. Thinker not really found.

Exactly. When thoughts are absent, what happens to all the worries and hopes and problems of this character?

They stop to exist:-)

Do we need to get rid of these stories and thoughts in order to be free from them? Or is it enough to just see them for what they are?

For now I would say, yes it would be nice, but thinking cannot be stopped. ...or I do not know how to stop it.

Peter

These days there have been many thoughts there. I feel like a child that does not want to look directly. He his leaving in thoughts assuming they solve his "job" and "further live" problems.

...btw. when it comes to the thoughts and "I", everything seems to be so complicated with no end. It is close to an insanity and finally giving everything up.

Hi Peter,

There is a doubt connected with that. It seems that every thought can be questionned if it is true. There are some repeative thoughts in my head and doubts if they say truth. It is about what to do after my current job is over. Looking for a new one? Going abroad and learn english or travel? Try to live an alternative life style on the countryside? There is a not knowing what to do. The thoughts are seen as stories, but I trust none of them if they really solve the problem „how to survive.“

Yes, every thought can be questioned. Because no thought is ever The Truth. At best they can point to it. Is not like they are "wrong" or "lies", is just that they are not reality. The experience of having a thought is real, but mistaking the thought for reality is what causes all the suffering in the first place.

But even more important is to realise that thoughts don't DO anything. They are inert! We think they have this great power. It seems like decisions are made by a succession of thoughts and we call that thinking. But when you did the food exercise, what happened? When the decision happened, was it thanks to the thoughts? or were the thoughts more like a narrative that happened in parallel or after the fact.
Pay attention to any apparent little choices you make everyday. Notice how they happen. Notice how the thoughts take ownership of the decision, AFTER, the actual "decision" has been made.

Once it's seen that thoughts don't think, chose or do anything at all,, then whether the thought is true or not becomes much less important. They are like pretty bubbles, that pop up from nothing and burst into nothing. They come out, play for a bit and then they go. It is only more thought that says they are "very important".

Don't take my word for it!

Look into your own experience and let me know what comes up.

These days there have been many thoughts there. I feel like a child that does not want to look directly. He his leaving in thoughts assuming they solve his "job" and "further live" problems.

Hmmm.. I think I know what you mean, but let's make sure you are not replacing one story with another. It can happen very easily! What is this child that is living in thoughts?

Great going
Silvia x

still here

still here

Once it's seen that thoughts don't think, chose or do anything at all,, then whether the thought is true or not becomes much less important. They are like pretty bubbles, that pop up from nothing and burst into nothing. They come out, play for a bit and then they go. It is only more thought that says they are "very important".

Don't take my word for it!

Look into your own experience and let me know what comes up.

I try to look and I see in some cases that choices/decisions happend with no one doing them. Also, a thought arises and it causes fear - if no one doing them, what will happen next time? Will I survive?

What is in control right now or what is going to happen next?


What is it that is afraid of not surviving?

What is in control right now or what is going to happen next?

There are only thoughts that say what should happen. For example I will go shopping this morning, then I will cook lunch... But what will happen in 1 sec I really do not know.

What is it that is afraid of not surviving?

I do not know but it is "coming" from the "mind".

so look again and tell me what is it that is afraid of not surviving?

Can fear do anything? Why is fear a problem?

It is "me" that is afraid but that "me" has no form of an object. What is seen are thoughts what could happen to "me" and those thoughts bringing the feeling of fear.

Fear itself can do nothing. Fear itself is not a problem, it is a problem when it comes to "me". "I" will loose something, "I" will suffer...

But there is no "me". Anywhere. Ever.

So with that in mind, look again and tell me what is scared?

What will suffer? What will lose?

Nothing.

Ok.. could you expand a bit?