Am I awake already?

[globyt]

What is here that is not a thought?

Yeah I suppose its all a thought. But how else would I convey to you what I have seen, if not through words and an explanation?

Who is asking the questions?

No one. The questions just come up in the mind and I type them.

What expectations exist that an answer labeled as satisfactory will satisfy?

The expectation is that there will be an end to our conversation one day – a goodbye after this task has been done.
…I would like to say after “I have seen”. An “aha” moment. After the peeling away has allowed what needs to be seen.


But again- how else can I convey anything to you if not through my mind? We are talking in words.

Was all that you wrote in response to my exercise, or was it self-generated inquiry? If the latter please do the exercise now.

I tried the exercise, albeit the post was not the response. When I tried it I just got rid of the answers – didn´t think they were of any value on here.


I will try again now and will type what comes up:
*There is no separate self, there never was, there never will be*

1)Tightness in throat. Quite a lot of distraction. Thinking I don’t get the exercise. I know think that the point is to just feel and be in the present moment with what is. Keep getting distracted. Heat in arms. Stomach pain. Going to seeing the seeing now. Allowing the “dissocation feeling”. Blank. Distraction.

2)Listening to sounds. Eye itch. Distraction. Tightness shoudlers.

3) Neck tightness. Sounds……Omg what just happened?
I paid deep attention to the tightness in my neck. Eyes closed. This transformed into total involuntary body movements. A bit like kundalini. Like a dance. Some tears. More movement. Feeling of peace. More tears. Afterwards I couldn’t move, heavy body.
I am emotional now.

Show me where the “I” is—if not as a thought about an “I.”
Where is it?
Can you find it?

There is no “I” that I can pinpoint.

Or is it nothing but a label applied to blank space and movement?

It a label applied to the grouping of everything that just happens in consecutive manifestation. The “I” is a story. A story is a thought. The I is a group of thoughts.
The story was created out of trying to make sense or label consecutive manifestations – that are just manifestations individually. Just thought. Just emotion.

[graceabounds]

Hello dear,

Some beautiful looking here.

Yeah I suppose its all a thought. But how else would I convey to you what I have seen, if not through words and an explanation?

:) Through all that was experienced and then written when you did the exercise.

Stop trying to convey.

Experience first. Speak after.

If it’s real, it doesn’t need translation. If it needs words, then it’s already story, already slipping.

Here at LU we assist in the exploration of the idea of the separate self. This is a guiding based on experience that brings a shift in perception and is not a debate. It directly points to what IS through the use of exercises, questions and dialogue. What is expected from you is to LOOK carefully to what is being pointed at. It is this simple LOOKING (not thinking) that brings a shift in perception.

Here, we are LOOKING directly into the experience of the senses, which is actually here and now, with the thinking stripped away. It is also known as Direct Experience (DE). In this way, we are aiming to discover what is truly happening without all the thought-stories. For this process to work you must answer with 100% honesty, without relying on thought, philosophy, imagination or memory -- just reporting your direct experience.

The expectation is that there will be an end to our conversation one day – a goodbye after this task has been done.
…I would like to say after “I have seen”. An “aha” moment. After the peeling away has allowed what needs to be seen.

But who expects that?

If there is no “I,” then this idea of “me having a conversation that ends” is just a narrative. Again, look directly at the underlying beliefs that there is something to be seen and someone to accomplish that seeing. Is any of that able to be experienced outside of thought?

Seen clearly, there’s no one to say goodbye. Just this happening. This appearing. This response. This typing. This breath. Now.

3) Neck tightness. Sounds……Omg what just happened?
I paid deep attention to the tightness in my neck. Eyes closed. This transformed into total involuntary body movements. A bit like kundalini. Like a dance. Some tears. More movement. Feeling of peace. More tears. Afterwards I couldn’t move, heavy body.
I am emotional now.

THIS is direct experience. :)

Was there a self in that experience?
Was there a choosing process that happened for any of it or simply pure unfolding?
Was there an I?

The I is a group of thoughts.

Good. So now: Look without the grouping. Sit with just this: sensation, sound, thought, image—without story.

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:
Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all actual/direct experience) and report back how you go.

-Becca

[globyt]

Was there a self in that experience?
Was there a choosing process that happened for any of it or simply pure unfolding?
Was there an I?

No choosing process. Involuntary.
Not sure if there was a self in the experience.
It seemed like something flowing or taking over the body in that moment.

I wonder is that how the experience is like for you, but all the time? Feeling lone everything is involuntary.


I am noticing quite a lot of resistance to doing the exercise. Also, they all happen so fast. I mean the sound, the sensation, thought, etc…. almost at the same time. I find it difficult to keep up.


Also the mind keeps coming back to the “i believe I am awake” thinking….


Resistance.

Desperation.

[graceabounds]

Good. You’re noticing resistance. Desperation. The speed and simultaneity of experience.

No choosing process. Involuntary.

Exactly. So sit in that.
What you are is not the chooser. Never was. Never will be.

Now, was there an “I” that watched that unfolding?
Or just a vague sense of witness, floating in the aftermath?
Look precisely. Was the “I” there while it unfolded? Or did it rush in after, pretending it had been present?

It seemed like something flowing or taking over the body.

Yes. The body moved. Something flowed. It happened.
But was it yours?

Was there anything in that moment that could have not happened if “you” had wanted it otherwise?

I wonder is that how the experience is like for you, but all the time? Feeling like everything is involuntary.

Yes. But not like some mystical state. Everything is already happening. Always was. And what you call “you” is an echo, a late ripple, narrating a show it never authored.

But stop asking what it’s like “for me.”
Ask: Is this the case now, here, for you?

I am noticing quite a lot of resistance to doing the exercise.

Good. What is that resistance made of?
Where exactly is it felt? In the chest? Throat? Behind the eyes?
Is it physical? Emotional? Thought?

And who is it happening to?
Who is the one “resisting”? Find them.
Can you locate the one doing the resisting… without using thought?

They all happen so fast… I find it difficult to keep up.

Yes. Because there is no “you” doing the experiencing.
There’s just raw, ungraspable, unstoppable experience—no center, no controller.

What you call “keeping up” is an illusion of control trying to reassert itself.

So don’t try to slow it down.
Let it flood.
Label after the fact if needed:
“Sound.”
“Image.”
“Sensation.”
“Thought.”
Try it this way today.

Not to analyze, just to expose the rawness. No embellishment.

Also the mind keeps coming back to the “i believe I am awake” thinking….

Yes. That’s the seeker rebranding itself.

Can you feel how it clings to the identity of someone who “might be” awake?

Does a you have control of this thought? Of any thought?

[globyt]

Now, was there an “I” that watched that unfolding?
Or just a vague sense of witness, floating in the aftermath?
Look precisely. Was the “I” there while it unfolded? Or did it rush in after, pretending it had been present?

To be honest there seemed to be like an allowing. But who or what was allowing?
Like something had to get out of the way for the natural flow to happen.

Definitely a sense of witness.
Not sure if there was an "I" present.
If the "I" is the witness, then that is what was present throughout.

I would like to tell you that I have had many similar instances (before coming to you) of the before described. Feeling like the body is simply taken over, allowing it to do what it needs to do. Crying, moving, dancing---all through the body.

Ask: Is this the case now, here, for you?

I don´t, however, extrapolate those experiences mentioned above to my every day life. They happen occasionally and in specific situations (therapy, ecstatic dance, spiritual retreat, or when meditating and kundalini rises, during TRE...)

Yes. The body moved. Something flowed. It happened.
But was it yours?

It seemed to happen to a "me", although not by "me".
Even though I know that there is no me, the feeling was different than what I know intellectually.

Was there anything in that moment that could have not happened if “you” had wanted it otherwise?

It did seem like there was a sort of direction. Such as the thought "I will stop moving now", and the body stopped.
But...now I realize: since I am not my thoughts, it wasn´t "me" who decided to stop.
There was just deciding to stop.

I can now see that I believed in that moment that the thought "I will stop moving now" came from "me", but I am not in control of my thoughts, so it couldn´t have been "me" who decided.

And what you call “you” is an echo, a late ripple, narrating a show it never authored.

Ah yes, this is what I wrote above.
The thought appears, and it is believed to be "me" who decides to stop.

Good. What is that resistance made of?
Where exactly is it felt? In the chest? Throat? Behind the eyes?
Is it physical? Emotional? Thought?

It is like I forget to do it, or just don´t think it is important or relevant and don´t take the time to do it.
I don´t understand the exercise, is what I think.

And who is it happening to?
Who is the one “resisting”? Find them.
Can you locate the one doing the resisting… without using thought?

It feels like it is happening to me.
But cant find a someone.
Its just thoughts, which are then grabbed on to and believed I suppose...

What you call “keeping up” is an illusion of control trying to reassert itself.

Is this the ownership or authorship of everything that occurs, that you said before?
NOt sure I understand what you are saying here- can you expand on this? :)

Not to analyze, just to expose the rawness. No embellishment.

I tried it several times, and just the same- lots of things happening at once.
The experience is of more presence.
In between each is the blankess.
Can´t stay there for long.
There is distraction after a while.

Can you feel how it clings to the identity of someone who “might be” awake?

hmmm, yes. Its a strong one that one.

Does a you have control of this thought? Of any thought?

Zero control.

Also, I realized yesterday that there is something that wants to cling to the process of getting to awakening. The thought was "Isn´t it great that I have found this path of awakening", like as if I was lucky to have found this... and then I gasped! :)

[graceabounds]

Great noticing.

Now, since it is seen that there is zero control over thought let’s do an exercises relating to doership of the body.

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.
Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:
How is the movement controlled?
Does a thought control it?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.
Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

To be honest there seemed to be like an allowing.

Yes, that’s the story. But what’s that made of? Where is that “something” that allowed it?

Definitely a sense of witness.
Not sure if there was an "I" present.
If the "I" is the witness, then that is what was present throughout.

This is a common stop along the way in this looking. But go there now. Find this “witness.”

Is it not just more thought, more subtle labeling?
Can you actually find a watcher apart from the watching?
Isn’t “witness” just a word pasted onto experience after it arises?

Can anything you call “you” be found in real time?
Not a memory. Not a concept. Not a feeling. Not a witness. RIGHT NOW.

Now is the time to extrapolate those experiences, of raw unfolding that has been experienced into everyday life. Not as something to chase, or a state, but as a pointer to how things already are with the filter of a separate self removed:

Is there a “you” seeing, or only seeing?

Hearing, or only sound?

Is there anyone in control?

Is there anything separate at all?

Much love,
Becca

[globyt]

Hello again Becca!

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.
Watch like a hawk.

I have noticed that thinking keeps getting in the way in the form of "I know this already" and this is annoyingly on repeat. Such that it distracts me from say, this hand exercise. The thoughts are "Yeah, its not me doing it, you´ve seen it", and yet I really have to focus to actually see that it is not "me". Its an actual effort. So I see it, but it is not effortless.

Also, I keep noticing resistance to experimenting on the hand. My stomach goes tight. And my throat. I am actually doing it right now and there is a feeling of desperation and a bit nauseas.

How is the movement controlled?

It seems to be "controlled" by a thought that appears in the form of "now turn". Although the thought just appears, so its not really a controlled situation. It is guided by a random appearance of the thought.

Does a thought control it?

It seems so, yes.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Yeah so.... its true, there is a thought to turn the hand over, although it doesn´t necessarily happen immediately. The moment the hand turns over is not really decided by the thought, only the fact that it will turn over.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Going through these questions is bringing nausea.
Now tears.
Despair.
Nothing chose the hand - the hand just seemed to go up instantly.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

No separate individual, the choosing is coming from something but not sure what.

To be honest there seemed to be like an allowing.
Yes, that’s the story. But what’s that made of? Where is that “something” that allowed it?

So much tension and thoughts of "you should see this already, you are not good enough, you are taking too long to realize what is being pointed to".. etc.
I can´t locate the something that allowed the movements. There was attention to the present moment, and then boom. The allowing came from returning to the now, to what was happening in that moment. It seems like a "something" that decided not to pay attention to thoughts for a moment.

If the "I" is the witness, then that is what was present throughout.
This is a common stop along the way in this looking. But go there now. Find this “witness.”

Can´t find it.

Is it not just more thought, more subtle labeling?

Its a label to the ability to see all that unfolds.

Can you actually find a watcher apart from the watching?

No

Isn’t “witness” just a word pasted onto experience after it arises?

I am feeling anger now at how difficult these questions are.
Tension.

Can anything you call “you” be found in real time?
Not a memory. Not a concept. Not a feeling. Not a witness. RIGHT NOW.

It cannot be located.

Is there a “you” seeing, or only seeing?

Seeing is happening through the eyes of this body. Right now the body feels like it belongs to my life.

Hearing, or only sound?

Same as above. Through the ears of this body.

Is there anyone in control?

No.

Is there anything separate at all?

Don´t know.


Sorry for not getting this.
And thank you.

[graceabounds]

No need to apologize, you’re doing great. This is very very simple, but not easy, otherwise everyone would be in recognition of it!

Yes, the thought “I already know this” is the block. It’s not clarity, it’s resistance in disguise. The mind jumps in with “seen this before” and you subtly disengage from seeing. It’s a loop of avoidance.

I can´t locate the something that allowed the movements. There was attention to the present moment, and then boom.

Boom is it. :)
That’s the only truth here. Everything before it was delay.

That boom is naked experiencing without the middleman.

And now notice what’s actually happening: the one who thought they were in control… isn’t real.

Also, I keep noticing resistance to experimenting on the hand. My stomach goes tight. And my throat. I am actually doing it right now and there is a feeling of desperation and a bit nauseas.

Yes. That’s the body feeling the unraveling. It’s natural. The idea of being in control is dying.

Let it.
No need to fix or resist it. Just sit in it. Feel it. Stay with it.

Notice… everything is still functioning… Movement, Breath, Thought, Tears, Flipping hands… All still flowing. Without you.

Hearing, or only sound?

Same as above. Through the ears of this body.

Sometimes hearing is simpler to explore than sight…

Find somewhere quiet to sit. Rest for a moment and listen to the sounds in the room where you are, or sounds from outside. Whatever it is, I'll just refer to it as 'what can be heard'.
1) In 'hearing' can anything be found other than 'what can be heard'?
2) Can what is doing the hearing be found? Or is there only 'what can be heard'?
3) An 'I'? a 'body'? a 'person'? a brain? a pair of ears? Can these be found doing the hearing? Or is there just 'what can be heard'?

What do you find?

Can an INHERENT HEARER be found? Would anything that is suggested as the hearer, be anything other than a concept/idea/thought?

In gratitude,
Becca

[globyt]

1) In 'hearing' can anything be found other than 'what can be heard'?

In hearing, only what can be heard.

2) Can what is doing the hearing be found? Or is there only 'what can be heard'?

The ear doing the hearing…

3) An 'I'? a 'body'? a 'person'? a brain? a pair of ears? Can these be found doing the hearing? Or is there just 'what can be heard'?

Yes, the pair of ears can be found.


The peculiar part> far away sounds seem somewhat close. The mind then thinks about the velocity of sound and that perspective is lost.

But for a second, its like a merge with that sound… even if the sound is hundreds of meters away.

[graceabounds]

You were right there. You saw it for a second.

far away sounds seem somewhat close

its like a merge with that sound… even if the sound is hundreds of meters away.

Good. Now stay there. Stay with that crack. Don’t think about it. Don’t explain it or rationalize it.

Right now, in hearing, is there anything other than what is heard?

Let’s look again, in direct experience, not in thought.

Is there a you “over here” and a sound “over there”?
Or is there just the sound?

Yes, the pair of ears can be found.

Stop. Where? Show me a direct experience of “ears” hearing.

Not a thought about ears! Not an image of where ears “must be.” Not memory or story or explanation.

Is there, in direct experience, anything doing the hearing?
Or is that entire “ear” idea just a tag added to the sound after the fact?

Strip the mind’s overlay. Don’t allow the story to reassert.

The merge is what is. You didn’t merge with the sound. There never was a separation.

Now tell me:
Where is the “you” that hears?
Can it be located anywhere in what is actually happening?

Keep your answer direct. From the raw data of now. Don’t retreat to the mind.

[globyt]

Right now, in hearing, is there anything other than what is heard?

No, just what is heard.

Is there a you “over here” and a sound “over there”?
Or is there just the sound?

In the direct experience, without using thought, there is just the sound.

Stop. Where? Show me a direct experience of “ears” hearing.

This one is tough, but I can see how ears is only a label given to the form.

Is there, in direct experience, anything doing the hearing?

There is not a thing doing the hearing that I can pinpoint.

Or is that entire “ear” idea just a tag added to the sound after the fact?

Its the label I mentioned above.

Now tell me:
Where is the “you” that hears?
Can it be located anywhere in what is actually happening?

Can´t locate it, in hearing it seems to be everywhere.


As a side note.... don´t know how to explain this to be honest, but I´ll try.
There seems to be a certain "seeing" of just how much and many times the mind automatically goes to thought instead of to the direct experience of being. I mean I can see the subtle thoughts.

There is also, sometimes not always, a not believing of the stories around something.

So I wonder - you are pointing to the in between everything? The feeling of just being? It feels blank yet alive.

Are you asking that I remain as much as I can in contact with this "beingness" that is not an experience?

Although the above sounds like a "doing"... perhaps its more like a relaxing into the beingness. Beingness is what it feels like when I say "I AM".

I am aware, however, that there is a certain expectation of what will happen if I remain in the beingness. Still waiting for a shift although I know that´s just seeking.


Also, why does it seem easier to stay in the "I AM" when there is movement?


Thank you Becca.

[graceabounds]

Some really lovely exploration here.

There seems to be a certain ‘seeing’ of just how much and many times the mind automatically goes to thought instead of to the direct experience of being.

Good. Now pause. Don’t say that sentence. Stay right in the place it’s pointing to….

Where are you, right now?
Not what are you thinking about, or feeling about, but what’s actually happening?
Right now, is there an experiencer?

Look.
Not a thought about “there is no self.” Not an abstract realization.

Look in the place where the sense of “I” appears. Is there one? Or is it just sound, sensation, breath, presence?

There is also, sometimes not always, a not believing of the stories around something

So right now can you believe a story if you’re not inside thought?

Can you actually believe “I exist as a separate person” if no thought says so?

Try to locate the “you.” Try to find where sound ends and “you” begins. Try to find the boundary. Where is it?

You are pointing to the in between everything?

No. There is no between. That’s a concept. (And one exercise looking for the gap that helps to slow everything down so exactly this can be noticed so beautifully: “just how much and many times the mind automatically goes to thought instead of to the direct experience of being”)

Ultimately simply everything is all there is…

Where’s the boundary that divides “being” from “experiencing”? Can you see it? or is that whole divide a leftover thought?

Are you asking that I remain as much as I can in contact with this ‘beingness’ that is not an experience?

There’s nothing to remain in or as…that would imply someone doing it.

The idea of maintaining beingness is just more seeking. You are imagining a future state. But what’s here, when you stop chasing?

Still waiting for a shift although I know that’s just seeking.

Exactly. You see it.
What happens when you stop buying the story of waiting? Does anything need to change?

why does it seem easier to stay in the ‘I AM’ when there is movement?

Good. Forget the explanation. Instead:
Right now, as movement happens, is there a you in it? Or just motion?

In walking, is there a walker—or just walking?
In hearing, is there a hearer—or just sound?

What’s left when the middleman (the concept of “me”) isn’t inserted?


Close your eyes. Let all the labels drop.

Don’t find a self. Don’t try to be present. Don’t try to maintain awareness.

Just notice what is already happening, effortlessly.

If no one was ever taught the word “I,” would this moment be any different?

[globyt]

Where are you, right now?
Not what are you thinking about, or feeling about, but what’s actually happening?
Right now, is there an experiencer?

No experiencer. Just this happening.

Look in the place where the sense of “I” appears. Is there one? Or is it just sound, sensation, breath, presence?

What do you mean by presence?

So right now can you believe a story if you’re not inside thought?

No, because believing implies thought.

Can you actually believe “I exist as a separate person” if no thought says so?

I cannot believe that without a thought.
"I exist as a separate person" is a thought- and it equals to saying "Me" or "Mine". Both the latters are also thought, then.

Try to locate the “you.” Try to find where sound ends and “you” begins. Try to find the boundary. Where is it?

No boundary, cannot pinpoint a me. Its just sound and hearing.

Where’s the boundary that divides “being” from “experiencing”? Can you see it? or is that whole divide a leftover thought?

Yes, there was a thought. The thought was: "there is a difference/boundary between manifestation and the blankess"

You are imagining a future state. But what’s here, when you stop chasing?

Whats here is just whatever is happening right now. Nothing else, nothing more.

What happens when you stop buying the story of waiting? Does anything need to change?

Nothing needs to change.
The fact that there is no "me" in all of this doesn´t change anything actually.

why does it seem easier to stay in the ‘I AM’ when there is movement?

I can see that this sentence implies illusion.
There is no way of leaving that "I Am" I was pointing to.

Right now, as movement happens, is there a you in it? Or just motion?

Just movement.

What’s left when the middleman (the concept of “me”) isn’t inserted?

Just whatever is happening.

If no one was ever taught the word “I,” would this moment be any different?

No, everything would be the same.



So, is all you have been saying this? > There is only what is happening right now. And the rest is all thought?

Reality is just whatever is here now, in whatever form... is that what you are saying?

And thought comes in to take ownership of things that happen to the body, like sensations, emotions...

But what about thoughts? There is also ownership of thoughts...

That means thoughts also take ownership of thoughts?

I suppose now I have realized that the thought "I " or "me" is the ultimate thought that takes ownership of all other thoughts.

Is that the realization?

[graceabounds]

I can see that this sentence implies illusion.
There is no way of leaving that "I Am" I was pointing to.

Yes. “I AM” is already before both movement and stillness.

Movement or stillness isn’t ‘helping’ They just make it harder to pretend you’re a someone trying to return.

There’s never been a leaving.
So what’s left to maintain?

If it’s seen now that this (what’s truly here, before labels) can’t be lost, then who has ever been searching?
What has been trying to hold on?

What do you mean by presence?

Right now (without thinking) feel into what’s here.

Sound, sensation, breath… and?
Is there something here that isn’t a label, story, or sensation, but undeniably here?

You can’t describe it. You can’t locate it.
And yet, it’s what everything arises in.
Not “presence” as a concept.
Not some mystical energy. Not a mood or a state.

I mean this—what’s reading these words, feeling the body, noticing the tension, the urge to figure it out, the flicker of curiosity.

Not WHO is noticing.
Just… this noticing.
No self. No observer. No mind

Reality is just whatever is here now, in whatever form... is that what you are saying?

Yes. But not what you think is here now. Not your idea of “now.” Not “reality” as a concept.

Just this.

Not what this is called, not what you believe about it. Not what should be here. Not what you want to feel. Not what you’re trying to understand.
Only what’s showing up. Before thought touches it.

Direct or Actual Experience is:
Seeing/colour
Hearing/sound
Feeling (not emotion - emotion is sensation plus thoughts/labels)/sensation
Tasting/taste
Smelling/smell
Thniking/thoughts arising (but not their content, what the thought is ABOUT)

I suppose now I have realized that the thought "I " or "me" is the ultimate thought that takes ownership of all other thoughts.

Yes. That’s the core illusion. But unless you’re feeling the actual collapse of that ownership right now, it’s still just commentary.

Take one of those thoughts that feels “owned” like “I need to figure this out” or “I’m tired.”
Slow it down.

Right now, where is the entity that’s having that thought?
Is there anyone having it?
Or is it just a sound in the head, a sentence with a fictional narrator?

Are you watching that thought like a cloud moving across the sky?
Or are you still hooked into believing it’s “you” watching the cloud?

Can you find anywhere, in this moment, an actual “me” that is doing, choosing, thinking, owning?

If not, what is happening right now? Describe it directly, without using “I,” “me,” or “mine.” Just raw, unfiltered data.

[globyt]

There’s never been a leaving.
So what’s left to maintain?

There is nothing to maintain. It already is and always will be.
Everything just is, including (and not "separating") the blankness or the presence.

If it’s seen now that this (what’s truly here, before labels) can’t be lost, then who has ever been searching?

Its never been "anyone" as such - its only been a cycle of thoughts, like a hamster on a wheel.

What has been trying to hold on?

The ultimate belief in an "I" is that which sustains itself. And if not replicated (until now) that belief cannot let go of the rest of thoughts that arise.

Sound, sensation, breath… and?
Is there something here that isn’t a label, story, or sensation, but undeniably here?

Yes, its a beingness. That which notices everything.

Yes. But not what you think is here now. Not your idea of “now.” Not “reality” as a concept.

Yes, reality is the rawness.
There was seeing of it during the exercise you suggested before of breaking down an experience in color, smell, etc.
That which happens so fast.

Feeling (not emotion - emotion is sensation plus thoughts/labels)/sensation

But can´t, say, sadness arise without a story? Or anger? Or Fear? Happiness?

Thinking/thoughts arising (but not their content, what the thought is ABOUT)

But thought´s content is also here - isn´t it?
Its just no longer "owned".

But unless you’re feeling the actual collapse of that ownership right now, it’s still just commentary.

Perhaps it needs to be integrated into daily life, then?
Nothing described as collapse was felt although how would "collapse" be recognized?

Right now, where is the entity that’s having that thought?
Is there anyone having it?

May need to check this several times and will get back.

Or is it just a sound in the head, a sentence with a fictional narrator?

Not to this extent yet.

Are you watching that thought like a cloud moving across the sky?
Or are you still hooked into believing it’s “you” watching the cloud?

I need further integration but thoughts are nobody´s. Not mine. They just come up and leave.

Can you find anywhere, in this moment, an actual “me” that is doing, choosing, thinking, owning?

No - there is no controller of what arises in whatever form.

If not, what is happening right now? Describe it directly, without using “I,” “me,” or “mine.” Just raw, unfiltered data.

Right now, there is typing, neck tension, sounds of typing, thinking, sensation of the keyboard, beeping in the distance, heat, sweating from the body, silence in between, tingling in hands, light from the window, thinking, etc.