The Gate

A good way to keep this alive is to guide (pay it forward) Tell me if this interests you.

Are you still blaming yourself SOME or even A LITTLE for things that happened in the past? That would imply you still believe a little that you have a separate self, it seems...
Or is it rather that it still happens some or a little that thoughts about the past and selfblame come are triggered in certain situations and can be seen to be ultimately a spontaneous emergence without any ultimately separate self, i.e. a misunderstanding just happening?
In other words, next time such thoughts come (or you can invite/try to trigger them now for the purpose of investigation), please check if you still believe they are truly about the real separate you, about your ultimately separate self?

I'd rather not take on that responsibility for now. And I want to deepen my understanding first, and see that it really sticks.

There are situations (e.g. indulging in certain bad habits) that trigger thoughts of self-blame. In those moments it really seems to me like "I" am making a choice and should be blamed for it. Outside of those situations it seems like decisions are just happening.

Bring up that moment. One of those “bad habit” scenes.
Let the guilt come. Let the thoughts say “I chose this. I failed.”

Now freeze. Stop right there.

Where is the “I” that made the choice?
Scan body, breath, gut, throat—not the thought content, but the direct, raw sensation of being a self who did wrong.

Look now. Not later.
What’s actually here when that guilt is alive?