The Gate

You are quite welcome. Just post what is going on and focus on DE.

Loving,

Hi Stacy!

So I've been paying all the attention to DE.

To quote your meditation assessment:

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

It's clear that there is no division at all.

When "doing" this practice with eyes open, it feels like the thought of seeing this image kinda morphs the DE into something illusory. But when meditating, it actually feels (sometimes) like there is no specific place where the butt is and the chair is. Just flickering sensations going on. Feels like energy at some point.

Now, regarding the DropBox files, I only did the first meditation and kinda got into my head, so I turned back into self-inquiry. Apologies for not sticking to the guidelines here. I guess getting into "my head" felt inefficient (and uncomfortable) and I moved away from it. Anyway, here's what I found/clarified while inquiring:

- There's no actual me, which kinda knew already.
- The "I" is indeed a thought that pops up glued to another random thought trying to explain the absence of a "me" LOL And then it disappears till is back again glued to another thought supervising if "I" am getting it
- During walking meditation, direct DE with the senses + thought is also clarifying more and more. One day, the visual field and the sounds felt incredibly like what I am, then thoughts say something like "but if all this is what you are, where is the awareness they talk about?". My feeling is that the awarness manifests itself in the sensory experience itself. In the sounds, in the visual field, etc.

And I guess this is it for now!

Oh, I'm also sensing a lot of frustration and sadness in the body. Doesn't feel like a thought, but definitely it's in the sensations (just using adjetives to describe the feel of it).

Let's see what's next or what you want to comment on it.

Thanks for your time as usual, Stacy :)

Much Love,

Sam

Excellent, Sam.

Do try more of the DropBox pointers. They are each very different from one another. You are likely to find it easy to focus on DE in some of the others.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/k1ph01pt ... 9bp3f&dl=0

I normally don't jump to the DropBox and ButtChair so soon. It just seemed right for you. Just to help you with the foundation of all of this, let's do a few more pointers.


Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Loving,

Hi Sam

Do you still want to be guided here or are you ghosti g?

Loving,

Hi Stacy!

Apologies for not replying sooner.

Of course I wanna be guided. I'm actually going super deep into each of the practices to the point where I feel I'm really clear now on there being no "I" anywhere.

So it's being SUPER HELPFUL!

It just feels like the shadow had been overtaking the experience of presence somehow, but here it is again. Anyway!

I'll reply properly to the exercises later today when I'm free :)

Much Love,

Sam

Oh good. Keep posting!

Loving,

Hi Stacy!

So here are my answers to the practice:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

The practice without referring to an "I" is obviously truer. In the sense that the actual experience of, for example, sitting, watching a movie, typing, walking, reading, etc, doesn't need an "I" to be there. The "I" appears as an overlay. It's an assumption that used to have a lot of inertia just because that's how we are conditioned (I guess?) but it's not really happening. No action requieres an "I". It's just the experience itself.

2. What is here without labels?

Without the labels, there's just sensations. Raw sensations. Even naming them by stating a "verb" doesn't make sense. Or it does for communicating haha but that's it. Sometimes sensations feel more solid than others. Sometimes they appear more localised than others. But just sensations in the end.

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

They don't. Or they do in the sense that, when the label "I" is assumed and not examined for a long time, it creates the illusion that there actually is an entity governing the actions, when in reality there is not. "I" still feel to be in control at times, but even when contracted and facing shadows and trauma or whatever you wanna call it, there is this knowingness that "I" is just a thought. So labels can go as far as describe the experience, never affect it in any way, shape or form.

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

I'm not sure I'm understanding what you mean by this question, but I feel like you mean it like "is there a difference in experience when you label or don't"? To what I answer no, there's no difference in experience itself, though labelling and imposing the "I" creates (or used to) an illusion on top of what's actually going on.

IT IS JUST THIS!! IT'S SO SIMPLY! haha

I'm starting to have this "empty looking", like there's no one looking at experience and it feels awesomeeee haha

Ok, I'm getting so excited about it, but it's getting so clear now. Even with its fluctuations in intensity.

Let's see your comments and pointings!

Thanks Stacy!

Much Love,

Sam

Sam, this is great. You are answering very clearly.

On that last one - since "I" is not true, there is likely to be tension in your solar plexus. Some people are so used to that Sensation they don't notice it.

This next pointer will help.


Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.


We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Pernille Damore calls this Body Yes and Body No. Similar. Here is her video on it:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n6RnrkOD7 ... uBphAoK764

Loving,

Hi Stacy!!

I've been traveling ever since last time I posted!

Let me see thru all this and get back to you tomorrow!

Thank you :)

Much Love,

Sam

Thank you for letting me know you're still there.

Loving,

Good night, Stacy!

Here is my experience with the "lies" exercise:

What is found?

When I tell a lie, there's the sensation of a contraction in the chest.

I tried hiding a lie in the face of a friend on purpose, and it also triggered another sensation in the throat and up my face, which reminded me of shame, with my face becoming warmer and warmer.

The difference with the sensation of Truth is clear, especially when it comes to moments when the sense of self seems to appear:

Believing a thought, especially the "I" thought, feels very contracted in the gut, not only in the chest. It brings a sense of pressure, like if hit with a whip metaphorically speaking. The feeling I associate this is frustration, but it's clear that it would be just a label added on top of raw sensations.

So to the other part of the exercise…

Do you see that?

Absolutely. Sensations are one thing. The real thing. And the label we use to communicate them, is a completely different thing.


That's it for the exercises.

But I want to say I'm sorry for not letting you know before that I was going to be travelling and not posting. It won't happen again. Next day that I feel like I won't be able to post, I'll let you know before it happens.

One last thing though:

When the feeling of "fear" appears, it is no expansive, but when an action needs to be taken even with fear, how can I find the body yes or body no? I don't think I'm explaining myself haha but hopefully you get it. I mean that, since the "emotion" itself is a contracted one, how does one find the expansion to orient themselve?

THANK YOU!

Much Love,

Sam

All very good, Sam. Thank you.

When the feeling of "fear" appears, it is no expansive, but when an action needs to be taken even with fear, how can I find the body yes or body no? I don't think I'm explaining myself haha but hopefully you get it. I mean that, since the "emotion" itself is a contracted one, how does one find the expansion to orient themselve?

Simple. Ask yourself questions & check your gut feeling. Does that explain enough or do you want to give me an example?

Loving,

I think I get it, but the same question comes to mind:

If I ask myself a question, then check with the gut feeling, and the response I'm getting is a contracted one… how can I know that's a body "no", if the emotion is in itself a contracted one?

(Unless you tell me that emotions like fear can be felt also expansively, which is not yet in my experience).

Or can one feel expansion (a body yes) within a contracted emotion??

Maybe an example would be good, yeah.

Thank you!

Much Love,

Sam

All contracted Sensations indicate a lie. Period. End of story. A body no is simply a body no.

A contracted emotion is a misinterpretation. A lie. in a sense. It has been mislabeled.

Think of a time you felt fear. Describe those body Sensations.

Then think of a time you felt excited. Describe those body Sensations.

Do that & then we'll go on.

Loving

Think of a time you felt fear. Describe those body Sensations.

Fear feels like a domino effect of contractions. It feels contracted in the stomach, it goes up my chest and stays in the throat area. There is tension in the whole body, especially in the muscles around the neck. That would be the raw sensations I experience. There is also a slightly feeling of overwhelming accompanying sensations, which feels it has to do with the narrative that (sometimes) appears.

Then think of a time you felt excited. Describe those body Sensations.

This feels expansive. Really expansive. And light. It's super interesting that this sensations don't resembles any "I". It's like the more expansive the experience, the less of a need for an "I" claiming experience there is.

Thank you!


Sam