Looking into the illusion of self

[ty0]

Hi Maurice,

Sounds great, I've definitely gone through that isolating feeling 😂😂. This will pass. Experience is experience, and there's nothing beyond experience. There are thoughts about many things that are beyond experience, but these thoughts are also within experience. You've started to see through them a little bit, which can be quite scary, because you're seeing things in contrast with the lingering belief about the existence of "everything else".

Do you want to schedule a call sometime? I think it's good timing

[mauricemoss]

Hi Tyler,

Sounds great, I've definitely gone through that isolating feeling 😂😂. This will pass. Experience is experience, and there's nothing beyond experience. There are thoughts about many things that are beyond experience, but these thoughts are also within experience. You've started to see through them a little bit, which can be quite scary, because you're seeing things in contrast with the lingering belief about the existence of "everything else".

I've to say the feeling is not something strong... it's just a bit unsettling when you look at direct experience and realize that all there is it's all it will ever be... I mean, no afterlife, no eternal happiness in another world and stuff like that. Only just what is in front of your eyes.

Do you want to schedule a call sometime? I think it's good timing

Unfortunately I'm not a native english speaker (I'm italian btw) so a live call would be a total disaster, I'm afraid.

Where should I look further into? Despite direct experience being available there, it's so easy to get caught in thoughts and be carried away by the same old stories.

[ty0]

I mean, no afterlife, no eternal happiness in another world and stuff like that. Only just what is in front of your eyes.

Yes, only this, and the imagination of paradise or whatever, which is also part of this.

Unfortunately I'm not a native english speaker (I'm italian btw) so a live call would be a total disaster, I'm afraid.

Ah I see okay then

Where should I look further into? Despite direct experience being available there, it's so easy to get caught in thoughts and be carried away by the same old stories.

Look now, at this. That's all. Do the "What's not a thought?" meditation regularly, it will improve your sensitivity and mindfulness. Notice judgement. When you notice you've been carried away by stories, just come back here, and look at this. Don't judge the fact that you've been carried away. Or if you automatically judge it like "Oh I shouldn't have been carried away", note that this judgement is just a thought and don't judge the judgement an extra time like "Oh I'm not supposed to judge".

If a story is sticky, look for truth in it. What is this story talking about in your direct experience? Is it referring to anything at all, or is it pure imagination?

[mauricemoss]

Hi Tyler,

the "What's not a thought?" meditation is the most difficult exercise to do... the mind constantly jumps from thought to thought, and attention is dragged away. I often find myself forgetting what I was doing, only to remember hours later.

If a story is sticky, look for truth in it. What is this story talking about in your direct experience? Is it referring to anything at all, or is it pure imagination?

yes, they are all stories not related to direct experience. Sometimes when I realize that thoughts have no connection to direct experience another thought pops up suggesting that "I'm cheating" and that thoughts have indeed relevance in real life and I should be better listen to them; but that of course is just another story.

[ty0]

another thought pops up suggesting that "I'm cheating" and that thoughts have indeed relevance in real life and I should be better listen to them; but that of course is just another story.

It's good that you see this.

Suffering arises as a result of not noticing that a thought is just a thought. In the same way bulls have no reaction to the colour blue, but become furious when they see a red cape, humans have no reaction to some mundane thoughts but can feel extremely panicked or miserable when some other thoughts arise. Imagine if you became angry every time you saw the colour red. The same thing happens with your thoughts. Why should different thoughts be more special than different colours or sounds?

Give the meditation some more time.

[mauricemoss]

Hi Tyler,

sometimes when I look at direct experience from an "impersonal" point of view (like looking at DE and noticing that things are just happening as from a distance), on very rare occasions there is a fleeting realization that the "I" is a just thought and that there has never been one in the first place. It feels as if a grand illusion has been played on me all this time; but it's all very short and occurs rarely; also I'm not able to replicate it.

[ty0]

The grand illusion and cosmic joke is that there's meaning behind thoughts and words. As if thoughts are any different than the sound of a dog barking. "I" or "I is just a thought" are just thoughts. Your entire world is just thoughts built upon thoughts. There is so much less here than you think there is. Everything is so much simpler than it seems. Even "distance" and "time" are thoughts, not pointing to anything in DE. And even that statement is a thought. Even the distinction between personal and impersonal is a thought.