The Gate

Thanks for your patience

I'm not patient, I just don't imagine other times 😂😂

Is this a case of just reminding and reminding and staying with the sticky, muddy times until clarity returns?

There is no clarity. There is muddiness, and a memory (thought) about clarity, which is contributing to the muddiness. If muddiness is what you get, muddiness is what you get. It's the flavour of the day 😂. Or of the "now".

I can't find a self but there is a deep down thought clinging that doesn't want to not believe in itself. The heart pounds and anxiety kicks in to protect the non existent.

Don't worry too much about the self stuff, it's not like you have a choice in believing or not believing in a self. Also, believing "there is no self" is just the other side of the same coin, and is very different from not holding a belief at all. What do you refer to when you say "I"?

I is the one who suffers. It can't exist in the now, in the moment, it only exists in the imagination of past or future.

But there is no I making the suffering happen, making the thoughts happen., taking what's here away from the here and now. The I is the same thing as that which is imagined, made of the same stuff. Like thought it seems to appear and disappear.

Exactly. Beautiful. It comes and goes like everything else. Notice how it's much more prominent when there's more suffering?

I is the one who suffers

I'd rephrase this to "I is the imagined one who suffers"

How are you feeling now?

Yeah, feeling absolutely fine. It's like a wind blowing through and if there is nothing in the landscape in its way then it passes through without brakes being applied. I have been living life with the brakes on😀
It doesn't need to be any different as nobody is having the experience anyway. Even the uncomfortable feelings are blowing through and the I wants to.put the brakes on in order to be blown over ! and behind the discomfort is bloody thought!!!!!

Hahahahah feels great doesn't it?

Also, do you wanna schedule a call to throw any questions you have at me? I've been experimenting with this and a few people from the forum have found it really helpful. But I'm not sure if you have any questions left at this point 😂😂

do you know, I haven't anything coming up to ask. The real thing is that if there is any discomfort felt, to check whether an imagined I is catching a thought and holding into it. As soon as that is seen, it dissolves. Your pointer on time really kicked in here and the impersonal nature of thought as little waves of mental energy to not take seriously, as they are imaginings has been so helpful.
Been away over the weekend to a family celebration and things that could have triggered didn't really make any impact. All this needs fully embedding . This will be cherished.I

Thank you so much, Tyler!!!!

Keeo enjoying and having fun :)

:)
Thank you, friend.