Hi Stacy,
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is no separate self, what was assumed to be there before cannot be found now, just a gap. It never was there. The story that was all around now feels like a distant bit of history.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now
The illusion is a story started at birth and fed daily to a child and is compounded with every single interaction ever had, education, society and culture. Beliefs lay down in layers, habits, situations, responses get ingrained. Depending on life experience it can eventually create a psychological strait jacket in a humans life and huge misery. It is responsible for the feeling of separation from all other living things. It runs like software in the brain. The software keeps running even after it has been identified and can still be believed at times though to lesser extent.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
When I started the dialogue, I had seen a glimpse of the truth - I found no self mentally but it wasn't yet felt knowledge. The questions helped to get it to felt knowing. It feels great to see the truth. It's really hard to write or speak in a way that mirrors this because language isn't equipped for it and using 'I' hasn't totally become empty for me yet so it can be a bit confusing feeling like it is still there because of the language. But the past few days small things are consolidating bit by bit and realisations that things are just done but without a separate self owning it is so simple there's nothing else to work out. Feeling centred in the heart physically most of the time. Calmer, grounded and non- reactive to previous things that would have sparked emotions, I can laugh at small things that I may have been a bit hurt or annoyed by before. The back story has straightaway become far away. I'm present but without agenda and ego self-referencing.
The Liberation Unleashed book and Awakening Now podcasts of Ilona's - certain advice and questions were valuable to identify and integrate bits of myself that were rejected before and this has been a marvellous thing too, recognising additional 'precious beliefs' was also key to helping the process.
Thank you for asking just the right questions Stacy x
Em.
