Morning Sharon,
Why do things happen one way vs another?
1, The very unsatisfying answer is because they do.
I assume you had no say in when you were born.
I assume you had no say in when you were fed as a baby.
I assume you didn't choose your first school.
etc
When was the first decision you actually made?
2, Why the right answer is probably wrong.
If I have to give a rational answer, I'd say the brain runs everything and reacts to circumstances. The brain has been responding to everything that happens, since before you were born. It does everything automatically and for some reason a layer of self was added automatically as well. The reason this is probably wrong is that all theories change and develop, so the biological, physiological, neurochemical, psychological basis for this argument will be different in the future.
3, Why the right answer is definitely wrong.
What we're doing here is trying to deal with things as they are, so the reasoning behind what's happening gets in the way.
For example, someone you know completely ignores you in the street, you saw them look at you and they walked on by without a word. Now you can make up a hundred stories as to why. Most of them probably negative, but you can never know for sure. You decide to ask them the next time you see them, and they say, oh my eyes were sore that morning so I didn't wear my contacts, so I didn't even see you. And even that's their story about what happened, which probably isn't totally correct either.
So whatever the right answer is as to why things happen doesn't help us here, because it's a story the I is telling itself to be feel right.
Things happen, we've seen the self doesn't control actions or thoughts among many other things, it just gets in the way. So the self wanting to know why is the problem.
4, If you're in a car accident and get injured. That's not perfect, it's not how things are meant to be, it isn't fate etc. It just is. If you're looking for reasons why, or telling yourself stories about how the other driver was terrible, or blaming yourself or whatever. Your not dealing with what is. Call an ambulance, stop the bleeding etc
5, We could now get into a discussion about determinism v free will (more stories).
But things happen, which includes any responses and being in the moment seems to be as near as we can get to whatever this is.
6, And the real kicker - There no choice in whether you keep searching for an answer, it'll happen the way it happens.
It's all unsatisfying until it isn't.
I'll say here feel free to smile or scream at this point. But 'I' didn't choose to type this line and 'you' won't choose your reaction. It all just happens.
❤️🖖