Well, the way I see it, emotions, particularly when strong, make you alert to a story that’s running. When there’s no story, what’s there to get emotional about?
Here’s something I’m noticing and finding interesting the past day or so. I am not buying into thought as much as when we first began talking, and as a result, my mind has been more quiet. But there are still stories being believed in without thought running. It’s almost like an automatic thing happening. Assumptions, I guess? Hidden beliefs or things I need to look into? I understand (limitedly) that there is no one to look into it, but for the sake of the things we are looking into together, what do you think about story being bought into when thought isn’t present?
Yes, spot on, this is what happens when we buy into a story.
The body responds, and more story follows, then more bodily response... - and before you know it, you've got a nice vicious circle running.
I feel like my mind has been creating less stories because they’re being seen through as false, but my body is still reacting to things as if a story is being believed. I hope this and what I wrote above make sense and convey what I mean.
Have you noticed that “anxiety” is also a story, i.e. a mental label that we are so used to applying to certain bodily sensations, such as nausea, contracted stomach, faster heartbeat, sweating hands, and the like?
Yes. I have noticed this before and am noticing right now. I will say, though, it’s almost like there’s an overlay of resistance to certain feelings, which makes them feel inherently bad. For example, dread. I know how to intellectually break down dread into its different parts (uneasiness, tension, fear), but the body naturally resists, the same way as if you touch a hot flame and jerk your hand back. Some things don’t feel pleasant and that seems to be a fact; no matter how much I try to apply the knowledge that every sensation is neutral in an absolute way.
A side note, unrelated from what we’ve talked about above:
I feel like I’m missing something. That’s just thoughts and a story — a belief that’s been there for long enough that it feels present with me a lot of the time. But I also think my mind just doesn’t want to accept the reality of all of this. I don’t want to “wake up” and still be a sad person, to have life continue the same way. But Jesus, how many stories are in the last sentence alone?
I don’t have a choice, this thing will be taken to “the end” (I don’t mean a literal end, just whatever we’re doing here) but I’m trying to shake any cobwebs that could be keeping me stuck from seeing this thing clearly.
Thank you! 🙏
