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[Magdalena]

Hey, Jade,

There is a lot of philosophy/thought entangled here that clouds my vision.

Hahaha – good! 😉 Music to my ears.

If I LOOK I cannot even tell you what/where meaning is.

Right. I cannot either.

Explanations feel like networks of thoughts that I throw over experience like a fisherman’s net to catch a slippery meaning (whatever that is).

YOU throw them over?
Is there a thrower of thoughts, or is there simply – throwing? 😉

…neither explanations nor meanings are real, or have anything to do with what is.

Well, yes, but when you LOOK, are explanations and meanings (as well as any other concepts), real or unreal as they may be, separate from WHAT IS?

There is nothing but LIFE. Nothing apart.

Call it LIFE, call it WHAT IS – same thing. Nothing apart. Yes.

So little in fact is lost that I didn’t even notice the attachment dropping.

See?

Are there any other fears that something/someone may be lost?

What a strange, strange, strange experience.

Hahahaha, yes – isn’t it?
We think we can control what our body is doing, but when we LOOK… LOL

I am not even in control of whether a choice is made or not - let alone what choice that is.

Right, so YOU/Jade is not in control of thinking, of moving their body parts, and cannot decide to make a choice – despite honest intentions.
How funny is that! 😉

So what can Jade do?

What is Jade made up of?

What is Jade?

Don’t go to mind – LOOK. 😊 (no pretentious stuff about Jade being an expression of LIFE, please – it’s not your experience when you LOOK)

[Jade121]

Dear Magdalena,

YOU throw them over?
Is there a thrower of thoughts, or is there simply – throwing? 😉

There is simply throwing.

Well, yes, but when you LOOK, are explanations and meanings (as well as any other concepts), real or unreal as they may be, separate from WHAT IS?

I feel like I cannot LOOK at explanations and meanings. They disintegrate when I look. I can think them, but not see them. Since thinking (and I can SEE thinking) is part of WHAT IS, that means explanations and meanings are too – but I can’t SEE them as separate or apart from thinking.

Are there any other fears that something/someone may be lost?

No

So what can Jade do?

She can LOOK. No. There is just looking. I don’t know.
But the insight that the body is just moving, that choices are just being chosen is not yet fully accepted. This needs some time and more LOOKING in everyday situations (just to make sure it is true everywhere – cute right?).

What is Jade made up of?

Ha – what a question. Memories, thoughts, feelings.

What is Jade?

Jade is a result of the above.

With Love
Jade

[Magdalena]

Hello, Jade,

But the insight that the body is just moving, that choices are just being chosen is not yet fully accepted. This needs some time and more LOOKING in everyday situations (just to make sure it is true everywhere – cute right?).

Absolutely. It's always interesting to see the difference between thought content and what really happens.
It’s best to LOOK when doing ordinary daily activities – walking, cooking, typing, driving, etc.
Give it as much time as you like. No rush.

Here’s a bunch of questions which may also be helpful.
1. Where does the "decision", the "command" for the body to get up from the bed in the morning come from? What makes the body get up? Does a "you" or a thought command the body?
2. On a count of 5, raise either your left or right arm, or not.
3. Can you choose to fall asleep? Can you find the moment / point / spot where you choose to fall asleep?
4. Can you choose the very quality (tightness, openness, vibration, hardness, contraction etc.) of the physical sensation, that will arise next?
5. Can you choose the next emotion, mind state, attitude that will arise? Sit and look at what is happening. Can you find any choice-point where you willingly chose any emotion that appears in response to a stimulus?
6. Think of a number between 1 and 20. Try to notice the exact point when the choice is made. Did you know what number would be chosen before it appeared?
7. Go to another room, pick a random object and bring it back to the computer. Why was this object chosen and not any other?
8. Close your eyes and sit quietly for 10-15 minutes. Watch what focus does. Focus on focussing, watch attention itself. Do you move it? Or it moves by itself? Hold focus on breath. See how it moves to thoughts, sensations, feelings, sounds. Is this something you control?
What moves attention? Is thinking in control of attention?
9. Close your eyes. Once you open them again, can you control/choose what's being seen?
10. Pay attention to smells, sounds, etc. Can you control/choose what is being smelled/heard etc.?

Invent your own ways to check all this out in daily living. Keep LOOKING.

What is Jade made up of?

Ha – what a question. Memories, thoughts, feelings.

And sensations too, right?

What is Jade?

Jade is a result of the above.

Is this result kind of fixed, unchanging? How does it come into being? LOOK, please.

[Jade121]

Dear Magdalena,

It’s best to LOOK when doing ordinary daily activities – walking, cooking, typing, driving, etc.

This is the first one I sincerely struggle with since we started talking. I find myself irritated, frustrated and unsettled touching in on this experience. Today there is also a little tinge of amusement accompanying the frustration/unsettlement.
I wasn’t able to engage in the structured inquiries that you suggested, instead whenever I notice that a decision is made, I ask who made that choice? I always come up blank.

The question bugging me is “If there is no chooser and no choice, how and why does anything happen at all?”

And sensations too, right?

Indeed

Is this result kind of fixed, unchanging?

Sensations, memories, thoughts and experiences come and go, none are stable or permanent. Why should their intersection/result be?

How does it come into being? LOOK, please.

If I look there is no I/Jade to be seen, so it never comes into being.


With Love

Jade

[Magdalena]

Hey, Jade,

I find myself irritated, frustrated and unsettled touching in on this experience. Today there is also a little tinge of amusement accompanying the frustration/unsettlement.

Hahaha, good. :-)

I wasn’t able to engage in the structured inquiries that you suggested, instead whenever I notice that a decision is made, I ask who made that choice? I always come up blank.

Does the blankness suggest that you haven't got the answer, or can it be that the blankness itself is the answer?

Watch your walking, eating, moving, etc. etc. like it's happening in slow motion.
Don't ask who does this.
Just watch. That's all.

The questions can wait. Relax. Don't stress. Watch with curiosity.

The question bugging me is “If there is no chooser and no choice, how and why does anything happen at all?”

Good one LOL
Do you imagine that I know the answer to this question?
Do you imagine that anyone knows?
ROFL

Sensations, memories, thoughts and experiences come and go, none are stable or permanent. Why should their intersection/result be?

Exactly.

[Jade121]

Dear Magdalena,

I had a couple of very busy days and have not had the time to properly engage with this.

I however love your suggestion

The questions can wait. Relax. Don't stress. Watch with curiosity.

. This shift in looking created ease. I will continue with that for now.

I will engage properly with the rest tomorrow - just wanted to let you know what is going on.

With love

Jade

[Magdalena]

Hello, Jade,

It's all good. No rush. Easy does it.
Write back when you're ready.

[Jade121]

Dear Magdalena,

So here I am.

Does the blankness suggest that you haven't got the answer, or can it be that the blankness itself is the answer?

Blankness is the answer. There is no-one that could be found in investigating/looking here.

Do you imagine that I know the answer to this question?
Do you imagine that anyone knows?
ROFL

A girl can dream, no? On a more serious note. What I have seen in looking so far is the flows of sensation, flashes of insight/ideas and experience pulling, inspiring movement in my body or my mind. Something is seen which pulls the hand to grasp it without intervening thoughts or decisions.
More explicit thoughts are like a running commentary that have nothing to do with decision making or acting, if just observed they impact nothing, they change nothing. If I don't listen to them, they are neither a problem, nor a solution. They just are.


With Love
Jade

[Magdalena]

Jade,

How does it feel to see this?

[Jade121]

Dear Magdalena,

Your question broke the dam. The focus on looking just completely drowned out any feeling. There are many feelings present now. Heartbreak - all the suffering we create by just not seeing this simple thing. Free - it is not my fault. Painful - it never was my responsibility. Simple - it is just what it is. There is exhaustion, weariness. Hopelessness. Calm - all is as it needs to be.

With Love

Jade

[Magdalena]

Morning, Jade,

How are you today?

[Jade121]

Good morning Magdalena!

Your question brought joy - I am glad I came on here and have you guiding me.

Today is peaceful. A great release.

With Love

Jade

[Magdalena]

Sounds lovely. 😊😊😊 Thank YOU for your sincere looking.

So, what do we do next? Do you want to continue with the investigation, or would you rather take a break over the weekend and simply enjoy?

[Jade121]

Could we pick it back up on Monday?

For now there is the wish to just rest here.

With Love

Jade

[Magdalena]

Dear Jade,

Absolutely - have a good rest, and see you Monday. :-)