Interested in working with a guide

[Bluejay]

It feels like it’s made of thoughts such as “I exist” and “I am here” or “there is existence here” and at times sensation behind the eyes. However, when I look into the sensation closely and try to describe what kind of sensation it is I can’t pinpoint the nature of the sensation but it feels like there is some energy in the head, behind the eyes.

Everything is made up of the five senses + thought (which can only reflect senses or itself so it doesn't create anything).

Let's break this feeling of 'I' behind the eyes into the building blocks / senses that make it up.

So we have see, hear, feel/sensation, smell, taste and thought.

Can you write down and describe which building blocks are required to create the illusion of self in the head/behind eyes?

Remember, an image of an internal head and eyes is also a thought.

[tatty25]

Can you write down and describe which building blocks are required to create the illusion of self in the head/behind eyes?

When I break down the sense of self behind the eyes into its building blocks, it appears that it is made of thoughts.

[Bluejay]

When I break down the sense of self behind the eyes into its building blocks, it appears that it is made of thoughts.

'Appears' often means you're thinking and not looking directly. This may not be the case, but it's good to mention it now.

It cannot be just thoughts, because then it wouldn't have any reference to something else, making the illusion feel real.

The illusion of self is created when two or more of these building blocks are intertwined.

This video may help clarify: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwAVOYVMac

[tatty25]

It cannot be just thoughts, because then it wouldn't have any reference to something else, making the illusion feel real.
The illusion of self is created when two or more of these building blocks are intertwined.

Yes there are some sensations too like I mentioned previously. The sense of self is experienced here as sensations in the head/behind the eyes and thoughts that say "I exist" or "I can feel being here". So the building blocks would be, sensations and thoughts.

[Bluejay]

Yes there are some sensations too like I mentioned previously. The sense of self is experienced here as sensations in the head/behind the eyes and thoughts that say "I exist" or "I can feel being here". So the building blocks would be, sensations and thoughts.

Okay, excellent.

Now inquire into each building block / sense separately.

For example:

- The sensations behind the eyes, is that I/self?
- The thought 'I exist' is that thought the self?
- The image of eyes/head, is that the self?

And anything else that comes up. What do you find?

[tatty25]

- The sensations behind the eyes, is that I/self?

No, the sensation arises but there isn’t a “self” or an “I” that is separate from the sensation or knowing of the sensation. And when investigating this sensation even more deeply, there is no building block substance making up the sensation or simply there is nothing.

- The thought 'I exist' is that thought the self?

No that’s just a thought

- The image of eyes/head, is that the self?

No that is just an image.

[Bluejay]

Excellent.

Now keep coming back to the feeling of self behind the eyes/in the head.

Where is the self?

Repeatedly look. The conditioning may bring it up and say 'It's here', but keep looking in direct experience. Are those words 'it'?

Look in every sense. If it's there, you should be able to smell, taste, touch, feel, hear, or see it. There should be something concrete.

[tatty25]

Now keep coming back to the feeling of self behind the eyes/in the head. Where is the self?

There is nothing tangible or concrete behind the eyes in direct experience and there is no self.

Repeatedly look. The conditioning may bring it up and say 'It's here', but keep looking in direct experience. Are those words 'it'?

The words are just words and don’t describe anything.

Look in every sense. If it's there, you should be able to smell, taste, touch, feel, hear, or see it. There should be something concrete.

There is no concrete self. This is clear during periods of formal inquiry or when direct looking periodically happens throughout the day. At other times, such as when not engaged in active looking, sensations behind the eyes sometimes arise, there is no smell, taste, image, or sound. But there is sensation/energetic feel every now and then in the head or behind the eyes but what's clear now is the sensations arise to no one, or the sensations are not owned by a separate entity called myself inside this head. Sensations are sometimes just there, just like the sound of the keyboard from typing is just there or the color/image on the computer screen is just there without belonging or being owned by a separate experiencer. Hope that makes sense.

[Bluejay]

There is no concrete self. This is clear during periods of formal inquiry or when direct looking periodically happens throughout the day. At other times, such as when not engaged in active looking, sensations behind the eyes sometimes arise, there is no smell, taste, image, or sound. But there is sensation/energetic feel every now and then in the head or behind the eyes but what's clear now is the sensations arise to no one, or the sensations are not owned by a separate entity called myself inside this head. Sensations are sometimes just there, just like the sound of the keyboard from typing is just there or the color/image on the computer screen is just there without belonging or being owned by a separate experiencer. Hope that makes sense.

Makes perfect sense :).

Whenever there is an identification with the sensations behind the eyes, simply look again and again at what is identifying with what. This inquiry comes down to repeatedly looking until it clicks experientially.

Now let's take a look at choice:

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

- How is the movement controlled?

- Does a thought control it?

- Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

- How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

- Who or what​ ​chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

- Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Enjoy! :)

[tatty25]

How is the movement controlled?

The movement arises by itself and it is not controlled

- Does a thought control it?

A thought doesn’t control it.

-

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No

- How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

The hand turns on its own. Even when there is a thought that says, “turn the hand over“ and the hand turns, it is seen that the movement is not controlled by the thought. A thought arises on its own and the hand also moves on its own. The thought comes out of nowhere and then disappears; the hand moves on its own.

- Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

There is no one that makes the choice. Even when there is a thought that says “pick the right hand first,” there is no chooser that chose that specific thought to arise.

- Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

No, there is no individual making that choice. It’s actually fascinating watching the hand move on its own :)

[Bluejay]

No, there is no individual making that choice. It’s actually fascinating watching the hand move on its own :)

Absolutely :)

With the body moving on its own, how many thoughts are truly needed to live life?

Is there a self in control of this process of 'awakening'?

Did you choose to walk down this path? Can you choose to stop?

Is there control over seeing the illusion of self? Can 'you' make progress?

[tatty25]

With the body moving on its own, how many thoughts are truly needed to live life?

Thoughts are not truly needed to live life. Thoughts just reference something about life, but life happens on its own independent of thoughts.

Is there a self in control of this process of 'awakening'?

No

Did you choose to walk down this path? Can you choose to stop?

I didn’t choose to walk down this path and I can’t do anything to stop.

Is there control over seeing the illusion of self? Can 'you' make progress?

There is no control. Life keeps revealing itself to itself in every moment. How the illusion of a separate self is seen through is a mystery and no one can control it or make it happen.

[Bluejay]

Nice!

Now let's explore body and boundaries...

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes. Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is? Does the body have a weight or volume? In direct experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ actually refer to? What is the direct experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question.

Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, eating, etc) before replying.

[tatty25]

Can it be known how tall the body is? Does the body have a weight or volume? In direct experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Without thoughts or mental images extracted from memory, it can’t be known how tall the body is and the body doesn’t have a shape or form. There is a mental image of some amorphous outline around the body coupled with sensations from the air against the skin, but without the mental image/thoughts, the body shape can’t be known and all there is, is sensation.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

There is sensation where the body meets the clothing/chair but there is no distinct boundary in between. From direct experience of sensations, it can’t be known where the body ends, and the clothing/chair begins.

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

With some activities for instance after sitting with eyes closed for a few minutes, it is clear that there is no inside and outside, and there are just sensations arising with no boundary. With activities that are done with eyes open (walking, eating etc) it’s not as clear and the visual input from the color/image of the outline of the body (skin) is taken to be the boundary that separates “inside” from “outside”.

What does the word/label ‘body’ actually refer to? What is the direct experience of the body?

The label body refers to a group of sensory experiences such as color/image of the outline (skin) sound from bodily functions (heart beating, stomach growling), touch (eg feeling cold or warmth against the skin) etc.

[Bluejay]

You are very clear on your answers, so let me just ask:

What are you responsible for?

What are decisions?

Can you say with 100% certainty that there is no inherent self?