The Gate

Good evening Christina

As far as sensations arising, I can't identify any particular ones. Absence of contraction in the chest and throat though.

Great.

What I noticed yesterday continually pondering this is that everything was just happening and I kept checking to verify if there was a, "me" doing it and seeing that there was not.

Yes, there is no you, no separate self outside of thoughts.

The trick is that thoughts arise after the happening (or with it, or before it, I think) and I had taken myself to be those thoughts and some how associated that with making things happen.

Do you choose a thought instead of another thought ?
Can you stop a thought in the middle?
Is there a thinker of thoughts ?

I think the emotion that comes up when I read that line is relief. How much pressure was being carried around thinking there was a separate self needing to hold it all together and figure it all out.

You said “I think” : is what you said a thought or is there really a feeling of relief?

Thoughts do come up of a bit of doubt and disbelief though... thoughts like, has it really been fully seen? Is it really just as simple as that? It feels like there is some waiting for a huge shift going on. Although when I check direct experience, life is flowing and there is no suffering. So these are in fact just thoughts coming up.

Yes, there are thoughts of doubt, let them go as they came. Yes, life is flowing and it does need a self to make it happen.

Best wishes

Good Morning Warissem,

It is morning here at least. :)

Do you choose a thought instead of another thought ?

The thoughts come up completely on their own.

Can you stop a thought in the middle?

No, the thought can only be noticed.

Is there a thinker of thoughts ?

For this question, looking is really required to question that assumption. The answer is no, they are just happening.

You said “I think” : is what you said a thought or is there really a feeling of relief?

The relief in that answer was conceptual. Checking direct experience now, I can't find a particular emotion.

Yesterday was interesting. There seems to be such an increase in energy. This character functions so much better without,"me" as the doer. Things just happen on their own that Christina normally would have really had to push herself through, or drag herself through.

Thank you so much!

Hi Christina

Yesterday was interesting. There seems to be such an increase in energy.

I am glad for you. Notice that experiences come and go.

This character functions so much better without,"me" as the doer. Things just happen on their own that Christina normally would have really had to push herself through, or drag herself through.

Yes functioning happens but, Is there a character in direct experience ?
Is there any separate entity called Christina?

Thank you so much!

You are much welcome

Yes functioning happens but, Is there a character in direct experience ?
Is there any separate entity called Christina?

There is no character in direct experience. Only in thought. There is no one deciding what to do or say. It is just happening on its own. Christina is just a label for this particular body and all of its built in and automatic characteristics.

Good morning

There is no character in direct experience. Only in thought. There is no one deciding what to do or say. It is just happening on its own. Christina is just a label for this particular body and all of its built in and automatic characteristics.

Yes, yes.

About the body, there is an investigation I invite you to practice :

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

Best for you

Hello Warissem,

Sorry for my delay. Life got busy there for a bit but ready to continue in the flow of looking.

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

From direct experience with eyes closed, there is no way to tell anything about height, weight or volume. There is no sense of a shape at all actually. There is only a felt aliveness or energy...its pure sensation.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

There is no felt sense of boundary at all. Only if a mental image is conjured up. There is no sense of clothing or chair, or body for that matter haha. Without relying on thoughts and mental images, there is actually nothing known at all. Just this, direct experience.

Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

There is no inside or outside at all with closed eyes. There is just aliveness. The rest is thoughts and mental images. The inside and outside seem to be purely a visual assumption? There is actually no felt sense of a separate body at all. Vision is required to make that assumption. ...and I've already determined that an assumption is really just thought content.

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

I'm going to continue on looking with these last two questions as you suggested.
In the initial looking right now, body appears to be a label that is actually connected to the separate self illusion. A part of the visual experience that is claimed by, "me." Creating the thought of being separate from the rest of reality, but not actually so when looked at in direct experience. Wow, a total assumption again.

Thank you Warissem :)

-Christina

Hi Christina

Glad to hear from you.
You have done a great job about the investigation of the body. Your insights are all fine.

I'm going to continue on looking with these last two questions as you suggested.

Yes, this exercise is a strong pointer. When you do it, just look if there is an observer, a knower of these sensations.

In the initial looking right now, body appears to be a label that is actually connected to the separate self illusion.

Do you mean that this bunch of sensations is a separate self ?

A part of the visual experience that is claimed by, "me." Creating the thought of being separate from the rest of reality, but not actually so when looked at in direct experience. Wow, a total assumption again.

Yes, there are many assumptions which are taken for evidence, never questioned. The goal is to be open to "what is" here now : the field of the five senses appearances :seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, sensations and thoughts (with no leaning to their content). Everything is coming and going, everything is in the flow of life. There is no separation.

Waiting for your insights.

To continue digging, I want you to look at this :

Seeing is happening or do you do something to see?
It seems that there is an object there and the seer is here. Now, look at the object (a screen, a cup or whatever) and answer to these questions :

Is there a frontier, a separation between the object and the seeing of it?
Is there a boarder where seer ends and seeing begins ?
Is there a seer to be found ?

Best wishes

Hello Warissem,

Do you mean that this bunch of sensations is a separate self ?

This bunch of sensations is just what is happening. Simple. The label is just that, a label, but there is no separate entity to point to.

There is clarity happening here this morning. Just last week even, I was referring to this character having more energy. I can see how more energy was just part of what is happening...but for no one and to no one.

Seeing is happening or do you do something to see?

Seeing is happening.

Is there a frontier, a separation between the object and the seeing of it?

It is all one thing.

Is there a boarder where seer ends and seeing begins ?

No, because it is all one thing.

Is there a seer to be found ?

No, only seeing happening.

I appreciate your time so much!

Thank you,

Christina

Good evening Christina

You are doing a great looking. To complete the process, I invite you to look at these questions :

Are you making choices or decide about things ?
Is there a controller ?
Is seeking still happening ?

Feel free to expose any doubt about this process of seeing through the illusion of a separate self.

And I invite to go out, in a park, in nature and enjoy the flow of life, all senses open.

Best wishes

Hello Warissem,

Are you making choices or decide about things ?

It is seen that even when a thought appears to be making a choice or a decision, that is merely a thought. That is what is happening. There isn't a person choosing that. The choice and the decision making are happening.

Is there a controller ?

Without a chooser or a decider there is no controller.

Is seeking still happening ?

Seeking is not happening here. Wow. Spiritual seeking has stopped. I recently picked up a spiritual book simply to see if it sounded different now, and I immediately noticed everything was conceptual and I just put it down.
Other types of, "seeking" apparently have fallen away. Examples: Looking for a bigger house, wanting to figure out that perfect diet, seeking to escape now with distractions such as snacking or napping. So many shifts now that I look. Just a sense of contentment with whatever is appearing now is what is left... Even if it could be labeled, "bad."
Old patterns do arise but seemingly dissipate on their own. Like everything else haha

Feel free to expose any doubt about this process of seeing through the illusion of a separate self.

Thoughts do arise... such as what if a trigger happens in the future and the sense of separate self comes back. Then, it is seen as just thought content and it drops away on its own. It is also seen a quite irrelevant since it is not actually happening now.

And I invite to go out, in a park, in nature and enjoy the flow of life, all senses open.

Everything appears much more beautiful and alive. Sometimes gushes of gratitude bubble up and eyes tear up :)

Thank you for everything :)
Christina

Good evening Christina

Great looking. I invite you to ponder on these questions which are used here to finish this dialog. Then you will be invited to join the LU groups on facebook.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision,
intention,
free will,
choice and control.

What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Best wishes

Hello Warissem :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No there is not and there never was.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self is an assumption of individual identity that claims what is happening as, "What is happening to me." It assumes it is the doer, and that it has free will, choice, and control. It starts perhaps around when you are taught your name as a child. There is a sort of energetic contraction and you believe yourself to be separate from the rest of reality. The separate self resists what is or forms attachments to it,all based on conditioning. It makes past and future seem real, when all there is, is what is happening now. All suffering is caused from this illusion.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels like freedom. It feels like life is just flowing. It feels effortless and light, like energy just doing its thing. Everything is simple and clear.
Before starting this dialogue, I believe the separate self had already begun to unravel but life was so heavy. Everything felt less alive and vibrant and suffering was a constant...ranging from background unease to heavy anxiety. Seeking was a constant as well, whether that be spiritual seeking or a seeking for distraction from the unease.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

This is very hard to pinpoint but Warissem kept pointing to direct experience and this was really the key. It is seen now that there was looping in concepts for years.
Near the end of our dialogue Warissem wrote:

The goal is to be open to "what is" here now : the field of the five senses appearances :seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, sensations and thoughts (with no leaning to their content). Everything is coming and going, everything is in the flow of life. There is no separation.

I read this and there was a realization that it has already been seen because this was how reality was being experienced, by no one. Although I don't know exactly when this shift occurred. There was no big fireworks moment like I was expecting. It was subtle.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It seems to have been the process of looking at direct experience through the different senses.

5) Describe decision,
intention,
free will,
choice and control.

These are all part of the illusion of separate self. There is no one making a decision, only decisions happening. There is no one setting intentions, only intention arising as what is happening. No one existing to have free will. Choices are made but by no one. And control is an illusion that the apparent separate self believes it has.

What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.

Everything is just happening on its own. There is only what is happening. It seems to be a compete mystery as to how it works. I don't have specific examples other than mentioning that life flows just beautifully all on its own without a separate self that was never there to begin with :)

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

There is no me to be responsible for anything. Example: I have 2 children, and the caring for of them just happens.

6) Anything to add?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
-Christina

Good morning

Thank you for your insights, Christina. I will submit your answers to other guides. They would have eventually further questions.
You have done a great job and you were committed all along for the looking and this commitment 24/7 is the clue.

I wish you all the best

Warissem