(An extra note: There is something to explore about why it took me so long to sit down to do this exercise. Another shade of resistance. (There was a kind of mild aversion.))
But once I cut the apple up, I was enjoying the smell!
When I actually bit into the apple, I noticed a pleasing crunch (banishing the fear I didn’t realize I had of ‘bad/mealy apple’) and I also noticed that the sweetness was a little less than I had anticipated. I still liked it, it was a good apple, a good sweetness – but somehow I had been expecting sweeter.
The crunching was satisfying, the taste satisfying, and I enjoyed the act of reaching for slice after slice. I’m even enjoying the after-taste right now. I was able to keep my attention on the experience of eating the apple.
tell me what you notice when you compare these three experiences:-
- Imaginary fruit
- Real fruit
- Description
When I compare Imaginary-to-Real-to-Description..
I was aware with the imaginary fruit, my mind was intruding enough to make my experience jumpy, not fluid. I would have to effort to come back to experience of the fruit. There is the question about why I put this off, and a slight ‘grouchiness’ to “having to do this”. But the fruit was sweet, I was imagining being happy to be eating it, and even wanting to go get some peanut butter for my imagined apple (my favorite way to eat an apple!)
When eating the real fruit, I noticed not only the comparison of the sweetness (to my expectation of sweeter) but I also notice my enjoyment: my enjoyment of the real seems to have been fueled a bit by my memory-of-enjoying-the-imaginary. I brought some of that happiness into the Real experience and “let it be real/true”. I didn't even think about peanut butter, I was just with the apple! Mostly that experience ‘just was’.
In writing the description, I now can notice a critical evaluation going on – Was I doing this right? I’m sure I’m doing this badly. Was I paying enough attention? Etc.
I’m now noticing a quality of the ‘real experience’ that, as mentioned, ‘just was’. I just ate, tasted, swallowed, enjoyed, reached for more. But the texture, or quality of the Imagined & Describing experiences have additional ‘interference’, ‘substance’, (a layer of burden) in the additional mind--busy-ness.
With this recognition, there is a slight 'disturbance', ... I'm trying to figure out how to verbalize this, it is almost as if I DISLIKE the experiences that included all that Mind involvement -- when comparing them. (kinda confused if I'm 'making this up')
Looking forward to talking soon!
Katharyn
