The Gate

Wonderful, Marz,
No words here!!!

A few tissues later…

LoL :)
Yes, this is how the mental constructions ged rid of the body.

Notice what is to live without these two images?

Not sure I quite understand this question. Would the one image refer to the image of the girl and the other image the one that is being taken as identity now?

Notice this narrative-voice to which image -identification speaking to?
What is to stop identifying whit this image to which narrative is speaking to?

Much lobe
Lubo
PS.
We (me and Luchana) make online meetings on this topic.
The next one is Sunday 22nd, 1 pm GMT if you are interested send me you email to add you in the mailing list.

Hi Lubo!

Notice this narrative-voice to which image -identification speaking to?

Yes, its bloody ridiculous – the voice speaks endlessly. To whom!!? To an image that popped up in the mirror this morning. To an image of your (Lubo’s) face - who isn’t here right now – while thinking what to write. (It wants to be clever, have the right answer, be a good student, to get approval). Narrative-voice speaks to various images - a goddamn thought. Its insanity!

What is to stop identifying whit this image to which narrative is speaking to?

This is a difficult one. Whenever I try to imagine what that would be like, a “future thought” pops up: a face-image, presumably in the future. This can’t be imagined. It must be NOW. It can only be NOW.

I have watched a few Youtube videos of you and Luchana. They are so beautiful and helpful! I’m sitting in New Zealand, so +12 hours GMT which is not ideal. Here is my email anyway, in case I can jump into a meeting one day: marzakki@gmail.com . Would love to be added to the mailing list.
Lots of love
Marz

Hi dear Marz,

Thanks for the reply.

Yes, its bloody ridiculous – the voice speaks endlessly. To whom!!? To an image that popped up in the mirror this morning. To an image of your (Lubo’s) face - who isn’t here right now – while thinking what to write. (It wants to be clever, have the right answer, be a good student, to get approval). Narrative-voice speaks to various images - a goddamn thought. Its insanity!

yes! I feel your anger. I enjoy it and welcome it. Show me more.
Yes, burn with the anger all fake limitations, programs and images.

Notice are you really, really these images to whom thoughts are speaking to?
Say Yes or NO!

This is a difficult one. Whenever I try to imagine what that would be like, a “future thought” pops up: a face-image, presumably in the future. This can’t be imagined. It must be NOW. It can only be NOW.

oo, of course there is only now. Notice this virus-program which holds you with the story-image that you are something which is afraid from the future?
Ged rid of it. Invite your anger to say to this program "I am not something which is scary from the future, I am not scary of anything. You are just a program, I am the real and powerful one. I am The One"
And notice what is going on?
Is there past and future at all?

love and freedom,
Lubo

I have watched a few Youtube videos of you and Luchana. They are so beautiful and helpful! I’m sitting in New Zealand, so +12 hours GMT which is not ideal. Here is my email anyway, in case I can jump into a meeting one day: marzakki@gmail.com . Would love to be added to the mailing list.

Thank you very much for this.
Ok I'll add you in the list. I am in Sofia, Bulgaria.

Notice this virus-program which holds you with the story-image that you are something which is afraid from the future?
Ged rid of it. Invite your anger to say to this program "I am not something which is scary from the future, I am not scary of anything. You are just a program, I am the real and powerful one. I am The One"
And notice what is going on?

When saying “I am the One”, shame comes up and mom’s voice “hey, you can’t say that”. Contraction. Smallness. But the more I say it, the truer it feels. Expansion. Love. One.

Is there past and future at all?

Looking for where the boundary is between now and future….
Nope! Just this, this, this, now this. Yep, there is a safety aspect with regards to future thoughts. Future thoughts makes the me-program feel in control. Planning for the future creates a feeling of safety. Why is it so scared to just allow life to happen!!?
Hey, talking about future (😉), I’ll be offline for the next few days, as I’m going on retreat. The “plan” is to do inquiry and continue with this looking process. Only back on Sunday evening, so catch up with you then!
Lots of love,
Marz

Hi dear Marz,

When saying “I am the One”, shame comes up and mom’s voice “hey, you can’t say that”. Contraction. Smallness. But the more I say it, the truer it feels. Expansion. Love. One.

Yes, this doubt is also called "original sin" :) Check what is to live without this doubt?
What should be fixed in you if you are the oneness which appears as Marz?

Future thoughts makes the me-program feel in control. Planning for the future creates a feeling of safety. Why is it so scared to just allow life to happen!!?

Look, you have right to plan, you deserve to have desires and desires to be fulfilled, you are worthy for confortable life.
The only thing is that you don't have control, because control means that there is someone separate which can control the Wholeness.
Notice can be really, really controlled what happened tomorrow? or after 1 min? Do you know what thought or what will appear after 1 sec even?
Now notice the illusion that thoughts can do something?
Do thoughts have hands, or have control panel to rule life?
Check?
Going to the retreat - notice how this happens by itself true Marz, Do you need to believe that there is an entity which is doing something? :)
And if there is no control, why you should worry about it?
Yes, I know, the mom's program, but this is for the child because child is looking for a prove that they will survive and mom give's it. But now you don't need this prove because you find that the Oneness itself appear as Marz, and she's already taken care of, can you see that?

Much love
Lubo
I am happy to invite you to join in our "Monthly- everyday support", where we (me and Luchana) will step in your shoes, we will live with your thoughts and will support you to ged rid of self-sabotage programs which are running your life" Please check our page and write if you are resonate with it.
https://awakeningawakened.com/2022/10/2 ... onduality/

Thanks Lubo, I'll get back to you on all of this after the weekend.
Marz

Hi Lubo,
I’m back from the retreat which was cut short due to severe weather and floods in Auckland. There were some very clear moments during the retreat where I could really not locate an I. Just nothing. I saw that I is just a thought. But now, back at home, these pesky images of my face comes up again, when asking “who am I”. I am however more fired up than ever to continue with this looking. Thanks again for your patience!

Yes, this doubt is also called "original sin" :) Check what is to live without this doubt?

Without the doubt (which is only thought), there is only this - the field of experience: seeing, feeling, hearing…

Notice can be really, really controlled what happened tomorrow? or after 1 min? Do you know what thought or what will appear after 1 sec even?

Its all a mystery! Thoughts pop out of nowhere. Emotions/sensations pop out of nowhere, life happens. The idea of control is also only in the mind.

Now notice the illusion that thoughts can do something?

Hahahahaha, Yes!! For instance, when thinking “I am typing”. Reeeeaaaally though? I is a thought. Thoughts can’t type.

Do thoughts have hands, or have control panel to rule life?

Hahahahahaha! Dude, hilarious.

Check?

I checked, promise. Thoughts are just thoughts. They appear. Poof. Gone. They are made of nothing. Not real. No hands. No control panel 😊

Going to the retreat - notice how this happens by itself true Marz, Do you need to believe that there is an entity which is doing something? :)

During those glimpses, there was no entity…and everything still happened by itself. Nothing fell apart. The belief in an entity is not necessary, no.

And if there is no control, why you should worry about it?

Worry is only in the mind yes.

Yes, I know, the mom's program, but this is for the child because child is looking for a prove that they will survive and mom give's it. But now you don't need this prove because you find that the Oneness itself appear as Marz, and she's already taken care of, can you see that?

Yes, thank you Lubo. That is so beautiful.

Thanks for the invite to your Monthly- everyday support programme. I have already committed to a few classes and courses during Feb and March, but will definitely consider from April (if the time difference wont make these calls too difficult). I will have a look at your website again and let you know!

Hi dear Marz,
Welcome back.

Its all a mystery! Thoughts pop out of nowhere. Emotions/sensations pop out of nowhere, life happens. The idea of control is also only in the mind.

Notice the game - you found that thoughts appears from nowhere and also there is an imagined entity which use thoughts as a weapon to fight and deal whit life.
Now notice whiteout a thinker does the thoughts story real?
Without a thinker is there an entity which use thoughts?

Thanks for the invite to your Monthly- everyday support programme. I have already committed to a few classes and courses during Feb and March, but will definitely consider from April (if the time difference wont make these calls too difficult). I will have a look at your website again and let you know!

Nice OK, No worries about the time we have zoom call with New Zealand in this moment. Our morning is your evening.
No rush.

Love
Lubo

Hi Lubo!
Yesterday evening, after typing my response, I read a few pages in “Gateless Gatecrashers” and Brian’s story just made it so obvious. His words: “Its like water asking ‘am I wet?, humour asking: ‘am I funny’” and I realised its bloody SIMPLE and OBVIOUS!!!! I’ve been looking for something spiritual and intelligent sounding. After realising the I is thoughts, I was waiting for the big boom and bliss (even though people said there is no big boom and bliss!). I was expecting the thoughts (images of face) to disappear….and only THEN am I through the gate. I was sitting in that hot mediation hall (or was I??), knees and back aching, asking “who am I” and expecting there to be no images. But that’s not the point! You only have to see that the images are not real. How will the thoughts disappear anyway!? Thoughts just happen. Come and go. Nobody here who can make them disappear. Hahahahaha!!
I work with adults with Intellectual disabilities. And this is how they see the world! Just simple. They are the enlightened ones. We should learn from them! My colleagues and I remind them, after a meal, to wipe their mouth and we get annoyed when they don’t seem to remember to do this. They have to be told every time. But how should they “remember”!? According to them they have no face, no mouth to wipe. “I don’t see it, its not there.” Its that bloody simple! Hahaha haha.
I have to tell you about a dream I had this morning, just before I woke up. The dream was a bit “Harry Potter-like”. My husband and I went into this theme-park where you get onto little train carriers. The carriers are open above (no ceiling). The theme-park is inside a building and the ceiling is made of wax. As the train goes over hills, the wax-ceiling get really close and people duck and dive to not hit their heads against this ceiling. Then somebody ducks too late and their head goes THROUGH the ceiling. The wax is melted! Your head can go through it! And once everyone realises this, this train ride gets really exciting. When you look through the wax ceiling, on the other side, there is the real theme park. Colourful, joyful, trees made of candy, birds with ice cream heads, hahahaha! My husband and I can’t get off the train fast enough to go get our families to come and experience this.
Oh my gosh, thank you Lubo!!! I have to rush to work. Will catch up again tonight.
Lots of love,
Marz

Wow, Marz,

Thoughts just happen. Come and go. Nobody here who can make them disappear. Hahahahaha!!

LoL :) i am laughing whit you :)
Yes, everything is simple :) No big Ban

According to them they have no face, no mouth to wipe. “I don’t see it, its not there.” Its that bloody simple! Hahaha haha

LoL, yes, where is your mouth 😁

and yes everything is made by wax :)
This dream is amassing.

Oh my gosh, thank you Lubo!!! I have to rush to work. Will catch up again tonight.

thankfulness is here and greatly appreciated and accepted.

...and what Lubo you point exactly? 😁 Can you see anybody here?

Tell me more, what is to find this??

What about the doer?
Responsibility?
Choice?
Free will?
Give me examples from everyday life.

Joy & Freedom
Lubo

Hi Lubo,
Thanks for these questions. Definitely some doubt that arise: “can it be this simple?” “but, what about others' experiences that I’ve read/heard about….?” etc. Off course: ALL THOUGHTS, but more looking and deepening feels like what is needed. So here goes!

...and what Lubo you point exactly? 😁 Can you see anybody here?

Haaaa! No Lubo here.

Tell me more, what is to find this??

Oh my hat, he doesn’t exist 😊 He is thought-images (memories of his face on YouTube videos). These images appear when I see the letters L-U-B-O. Also sound-thoughts appear (memory of Lubo’s voice and accent). All thoughts. He does not exist in this moment.

What about the doer?

Things get done. Messages get typed and sent to family and friends, car is being driven and filled with petrol, cooking happens, eating happens, interacting with colleagues and clients at work “is being done”. But who does this? No idea. I can’t find this person. Who is “I” who can’t find this person? A thought.

Responsibility?

Hmmmm. When thinking “I am responsible for….”, the following thoughts arise: “going to work to earn money”, “being a loving, supportive wife”, “keeping my body healthy”, but these things automatically happen by conditioning, habits and circumstances. Responsibility doesn’t actually exist. Its just a thought. It is a thought that was taught by parents and teachers and TV programmes, to take very seriously, from a young age. When the thought of responsibility comes up, it creates a lot of other thoughts and fear tends to arise: “If I’m not a responsible human being who works hard, show respect, cut my lawn, keep my property tidy, I will be shamed and pushed away”.

Choice?

Right, so there are the options to drink either coffee or tea or water or juice. It seems that I have chosen to drink coffee, but that is just habit. An urge in the body (the body wanting that dopamine hit) arises after (or before?) an image-thought arises of cup of coffee. The body makes the necessary movements and ta-daaa, coffee is being drunk. The mind claims afterwards that it has chosen this, but that is all thought.
On payday there are the options to (1) save money for house deposit, (2) save money for holiday, (3) save money for new car, (4) spend all extra money on stuff that was seen on TV/social media/ neighbour’s property, (5/6/7/8…) split money into various ways. Say “option 7” happens. It seems that a decision was made. Yet, it really just happens through inputs such as conditioning, habit, learned responsibility, past experience, life circumstances, thoughts etc, all of which JUST HAPPENS. Afterwards, the mind will claim that it has chosen this option, but in reality, there was no choice.

Free will?

Free will is the assumption that we can change our behaviour. That we have the free will to do things differently than we are. It makes no sense. Its absurd. Free will implies that there is an independent entity that produces thinking and doing and choosing. Yet “We” and “I” are thoughts. How can a thought have free will? Bwahahahaha!

This is really helpful to clarify things, thanks Lubo! It feels like there is a lot of “forgetting” that happens. The assumption that there is an actual person here, is so strong, so reminding myself “it’s a thought, it’s a thought, what’s real?” is taking place frequently.
It’s a bit underwhelming. But on the other hand, so beautiful as well. Some vulnerable, authentic communication has happened with my mom yesterday (something we never do) and it brought up so much emotion, love and forgiveness.
You are wonderful for putting so much time and unconditional love into these exchanges with strangers. I am forever grateful.
Much love,
Marz

Hi dera Marz,
Theak you for this honest and deep reply.

Oh my hat, he doesn’t exist 😊 He is thought-images (memories of his face on YouTube videos). These images appear when I see the letters L-U-B-O. Also sound-thoughts appear (memory of Lubo’s voice and accent). All thoughts. He does not exist in this moment.

Yes, notice the trick - Lubo's face, Lubo's voice, memory about Lubo - but is there something exactly which Lubo is? Is there an entity behind the face, behind the voice? or Lubo is the name of Face, voice, ...experience called lubo? :)
Notice the flower in the room is there flower which owns anything there or flower is a label for this exact experience?

Who is “I” who can’t find this person? A thought.

Wonderful question, what can be found here, what exactly is you but not experience?

When the thought of responsibility comes up, it creates a lot of other thoughts and fear tends to arise: “If I’m not a responsible human being who works hard, show respect, cut my lawn, keep my property tidy, I will be shamed and pushed away”.

Wonderful. Yes, there is a lot of shame in society. But realising that everything is made by wax - we recognised all this heavy belief is absolutely made up. Without a person is there a purpose of life? What is the purpose of all this?
Can you find meaning, Direct Experience of a meaning?
or there are just desires?
Notice also without shame and guilt is there something which is exactly - responsibility? like a flower, wall, smile, how responsibility looks like, where is it exactly? Is there such thing at all?

On payday there are the options to (1) save money for house deposit, (2) save money for holiday, (3) save money for new car, (4) spend all extra money on stuff that was seen on TV/social media/ neighbour’s property, (5/6/7/8…) split money into various ways. Say “option 7” happens. It seems that a decision was made.

I found here how desires are unfolding as saving money, but is there such thing as choice? is there a chooser? is it posible this to be also made up by shame and guilt? What you found at Direct Experience?

Free will is the assumption that we can change our behaviour.

Which behaviour? :)

That we have the free will to do things differently than we are. It makes no sense. Its absurd. Free will implies that there is an independent entity that produces thinking and doing and choosing

Yes, free will points that there is someone which have a control panel to rule what appears, but is there such a centre. person with control device?
Notice without a person, responsibility, choice, someone's free will, guilt - look around isn't it everything is free from any will? Isn't it everything free will already?

Here is winter and outside snowflakes appear as absolute free will, it is obvious that snowflakes don't have free will, but they are free will itself which appears as them, isn't it beautiful?

I like to investigate and walk with you here,
Much love
Lubo

Thank you Lubo, what an up-and-down-rollercoaster ride (melted wax ceilings included). And this ride aint over yet...

Yes, notice the trick - Lubo's face, Lubo's voice, memory about Lubo - but is there something exactly which Lubo is? Is there an entity behind the face, behind the voice? or Lubo is the name of Face, voice, ...experience called lubo? :)

There is an assumption that there is an entity, a person behind the face and voice, but when I look closer, it is all just experience. The sound of voice is not Lubo. The name is not Lubo, the face is not Lubo.

Notice the flower in the room is there flower which owns anything there or flower is a label for this exact experience?

The experience of flower and the label of flower is not the same thing at all. The label doesn't nearly reflect the experience.

Wonderful question, what can be found here, what exactly is you but not experience?

I don’t know, I don’t know! There is something here which can’t be labelled. The feeling of presence. Its not experience. What is this presence-substance!!?

Wonderful. Yes, there is a lot of shame in society. But realising that everything is made by wax - we recognised all this heavy belief is absolutely made up. Without a person is there a purpose of life?

The purpose of life is to live, I guess? However, life can’t be anything else than alive. Life just is. So no purpose. Purpose is also only thought: no person, no purpose.

What is the purpose of all this?

There really is no purpose to anything. This is not something that “the person” (who does not actually exist!) like to hear. Lots of fear, anger, sadness that comes up. I guess this is now some “dark night” stuff raising its head after lovely retreat-high-experience.

Can you find meaning, Direct Experience of a meaning?

Meaning can’t be found. It’s also just a cute little story that makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside.

or there are just desires?

The experience of desire is a feeling, yes. Sensations in the body.

Notice also without shame and guilt is there something which is exactly - responsibility? like a flower, wall, smile, how responsibility looks like, where is it exactly? Is there such thing at all?

Nope, can’t find responsibility. Also just thoughts. The shame and guilt make it feel real. Again, a cute story that gets told from generation to generation and then believed.

I found here how desires are unfolding as saving money, but is there such thing as choice? is there a chooser? is it posible this to be also made up by shame and guilt? What you found at Direct Experience?

True. The “choosing” that happens, depends on the fear, shame, guilt that is being experienced. There is no choice. Only “choosing”, but by no chooser.

Which behaviour? :)

There is no actual thing that can be pointed to and called “behaviour”. 😊 It’s judgement-thoughts of what is happening.

Yes, free will points that there is someone which have a control panel to rule what appears, but is there such a centre. person with control device?

No, there are thoughts that claim free will: “I have the free will to go to work or not go to work. See, I have chosen to go to work”. But going to work just happens…and the thought claims that it “willed” that happening. There is no person or control centre.

Notice without a person, responsibility, choice, someone's free will, guilt - look around isn't it everything is free from any will?

No will, no purpose, no meaning, no responsibility. This is really quite frightening and depressing, as it sinks in. There is nothing in this now “for a person”. No person? “The person” is clinging on for dear life!

Isn't it everything free will already

? It’s both sides of the same coin, I guess. Both frightening and freeing. Everything is just the way it is. So beautiful and perfect. The illusion is still in place, but everything at its own time.

With gratitude & love,
Marz

Hi dear Marz,

Thanks for the reply.

Thank you Lubo, what an up-and-down-rollercoaster ride (melted wax ceilings included). And this ride aint over yet...

Yes, i know what you are talking about very well, here the experience was the same :)
But this is the pleasant part.
Let's check is there anybody which is somewhere, inherent self?
this is obvious, just notice in the pocket, in the wallet, behind the eyes and write is there something which is self?

Then notice the protective mechanisms which protect something IN the body?
Notice also is there such thing self which can be found except feelings?

Then notice - this energy which appears as a women, how beautiful is it, how vivid is this experience, notice the walking, dancing isn't it this power of freedom?
Isn't it absolutely innocent, free from burdens of a self, story, shame and guilt?
Check is there any movement which is not power of freedom itself, but hidden self?

And the funniest part is to exposes all limitation like:
- the condemnations from the thought programs that denounce this here is wrong and must be corrected.
- Shame, guilt, stories connected with something which doesn't have a story.
And to free this wild primal energy from the accusation to be a self.
Innocence and freedom, can you find something other?

Love
Lubo

Hi Lubo,

Let's check is there anybody which is somewhere, inherent self?
this is obvious, just notice in the pocket, in the wallet, behind the eyes and write is there something which is self?

Nope! Its so obvious when looking. No self anywhere.

Then notice the protective mechanisms which protect something IN the body?

Like fear? Or shame and failure which creates doubt? Yes. Contractions.

Notice also is there such thing self which can be found except feelings?

No self in the body no. Only feelings. There is nobody that feels them. The feeling just happens.

Then notice - this energy which appears as a women, how beautiful is it, how vivid is this experience, notice the walking, dancing isn't it this power of freedom?
Isn't it absolutely innocent, free from burdens of a self, story, shame and guilt?
Check is there any movement which is not power of freedom itself, but hidden self?

So beautifully expressed. When there is no story of past or future, there is only this energetic experience. Its in the sound of the crickets, the flowing sensations in the body, the barking dog and car sounds in the distance. So peaceful to stay in this. Shame, guilt, self does not exist without thought.

And to free this wild primal energy from the accusation to be a self.
Innocence and freedom, can you find something other?

Innocence and freedom, that’s all yes 😊 I’ll marinade in this a bit longer as I’m drifting off to sleep.
Thank you Lubo!
Love, Marz