The Gate

Are you okay to proceed or do you need a little break? Are you feeling fear?

I feel fear yes … that’s what I meant with what now? If I can not move my life .. if I am not there as a controller etc who is doing it? It is also now in this moment sadness there … is this „ one“ going to care good for my life?? Trust in life trust in generell appears as theme
This not doing anything makes me sad and fearfull
It is kind of .. I don’t know the English word I feel ..ausgeliefert German one … I am helpless
Although I know there is a life which is until now also caring very good for me … it is this feeling
But I do need support to proceed .. let’s brake please for today so I can explore one day … Hugs S

Hi Suzana,

Here is a video that you may find encouraging: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly-y6Om95hc

Keep in mind that life has always been this way, whether you believe in an illusion of control or not. Nothing real has changed.

There is much to be discovered by exploring your fear--what is behind it, what it's protecting.

Waking up requires surrendering to the unknown. Of course there will be fear. On the other side is freedom.

And yet, I can't tell you if this is right for you. You will know.

Hugs,
Jeff

There is much to be discovered by exploring your fear--what is behind it, what it's protecting.

Hi Jeff
The video is good for me thank you
I am not worrying if this is the right thing … it will be shown.
The fear is protecting the image of not only doing useless things I was so struggling in my life from the beginning even before coming into this life was struggle .. loss anxiety …. So I survived … i thought it had something to do with my diligence or goodness or smartness or me
There is a sentence in the video … me is passing by … I don’t know now the exact words … it is like death .. I now it is not real because something which was never born can not die …
Also the other piece from film unmotivated zombie put it to the point my thinking what now … for gods sake it doesn’t hVe any purpose in doing anything…
Are for Exempel … are emotions unreal .. not existing … I love my son … my emotion .. butwhen there is no me is everything truth ??
How can I feel See hear touch if there is no me?
No separate me is the truth. Ok if I am the life being lived in me … I am energy… life …
How do we explain this personal feelings … I find some flower beautiful..you some other ??? Is there no difference between people because we are not separated and we are all one??
I thank you so much … Don’t worry… I am actually ok. I mean this is such a precious gift you are giving people .. and me … it must be somehow hard not to know if they cross the edge .., because you don’t see them..
Or if you are awaken … do you worry anymore in this way?
Hugs S

Hi Suzana,

I am not worrying if this is the right thing … it will be shown.

Okay.

The fear is protecting the image of not only doing useless things

Life is life-ing. Then thoughts tell stories about it and judge it as good or bad, useful or useless. At a certain time in your life, those stories and judgments may have been helpful. Then, at some point, there is a desire to let them go.

it is like death .. I know it is not real because something which was never born can not die …

Right. The story of Suzana remains but is seen to be just a story. From the beginning, life was taking care of itself.

for gods sake it doesn’t hVe any purpose in doing anything…

Life is life-ing. Then we tell a story about it. If you do or say something to show your son love, does there need also to be the story of "purpose"? If you feel love, does it need to have a purpose or a reason? Or is the love complete in itself? Does life need a purpose? Or is it sufficient unto itself, with love and beauty and joy and sadness and everything else? Do thoughts about life make it happen?

Your other questions will sort themselves out.

I thank you so much … Don’t worry… I am actually ok.

I get a lot of joy from this. Thank you for reassuring me.

Or if you are awaken … do you worry anymore in this way?

I used to have anxiety and panic attacks and even depression. It's all gone. Life is so light. It flows. There is peace and joy and beauty. And also sadness and pain, but not as I experienced them before. Everything is okay. There are no problems. I'm only saying this to give you a taste. I don't actually stand apart from life and evaluate it. I accept it exactly as it is.

Hugs,
Jeff

Also, I don't know if this is what you were thinking, but a lot of people worry that they will stop loving or abandon a loved one if they see through the illusion of the separate self. I have never heard of this happening and it is certainly not true for me and for many others I know. What changes is that love stops being neurotic. I don't try to be a savior to feel good about myself. I don't manipulate others to get my needs met. I feel compassion because I know others suffer because they don't know how not to, and I don't blame others for their actions which nobody chose. I'm not defensive because I don't need to protect "myself". Waking up is the best gift you can give to those you love.

Hi Suzana,
I'll be traveling so I'm not sure I can reply until Thursday morning your time.
Feel free to post and I'll respond as I'm able.
Jeff

Hi Suzana,
I'm back at home. How are you feeling? Ready to continue?
Jeff

Hi Jeff!

I'm back at home. How are you feeling? Ready to continue?
Jeff

I got caught by doing … I have some things to manage in my life :-) … so I wasn’t feeling all time my Prozess but it is coming up in the day… the feeling of no decision on my side …
I am ready to start
Hugs Suzana

[u} ExerciseL[/u]

Sit comfortably and look straight ahead. Describe what is seen--only colors and shapes as they appear in direct experience. (Objects are created by thoughts--we are not interested in thoughts.)

Keeping your gaze straight ahead, allow your attention to take in a region around the center. Describe what is seen in direct experience.

Keeping your gaze straight ahead, allow your attention to expand as wide as possible and describe what is seen on the periphery.

Keeping your gaze straight ahead, where are you in the scene?

Repeat if the conclusion is not obvious.

Let me know what you find!

Warmly,
Jeff

comfortably and look straight ahead. Describe what is seen--only colors and shapes as they appear in direct experience. (Objects are created by thoughts--we are not interested in thoughts.)

White color

White colors in the Rectangle

Keeping your gaze straight ahead, allow your attention to take in a region around the center. Describe what is seen in direct experience.

still white colors on one form and the other form . It is the space feeled in the center

Keeping your gaze straight ahead, allow your attention to expand as wide as possible and describe what is seen on the periphery.

it is still this space which is being felt … the same space as in front straight in the center

Keeping your gaze straight ahead, where are you in the scene ?it is felt like this space is everywhere also in me …

Keeping your gaze straight ahead, where are you in the scene ?it is felt like this space is everywhere also in me …

My question is, where in the scene are you? What do you see that is "you"?

My question is, where in the scene are you? What do you see that is "you"?

nowhere. I don't see me nowhere.
hugs

nowhere. I don't see me nowhere.

Good. Any feelings or reaction?
Hugs,
Jeff

Good. Any feelings or reaction?

it is in the moment not scaring.
it was dominant this space feeling...what I was talking in the last posting...it is like instead of me..or any objects is this space feeling...äther..it is sort of everywhere...presence ...vivid...