Hi Suzana,
I am not worrying if this is the right thing … it will be shown.
Okay.
The fear is protecting the image of not only doing useless things
Life is life-ing. Then thoughts tell stories about it and judge it as good or bad, useful or useless. At a certain time in your life, those stories and judgments may have been helpful. Then, at some point, there is a desire to let them go.
it is like death .. I know it is not real because something which was never born can not die …
Right. The story of Suzana remains but is seen to be just a story. From the beginning, life was taking care of itself.
for gods sake it doesn’t hVe any purpose in doing anything…
Life is life-ing. Then we tell a story about it. If you do or say something to show your son love, does there need also to be the story of "purpose"? If you feel love, does it need to have a purpose or a reason? Or is the love complete in itself? Does life need a purpose? Or is it sufficient unto itself, with love and beauty and joy and sadness and everything else? Do thoughts about life make it happen?
Your other questions will sort themselves out.
I thank you so much … Don’t worry… I am actually ok.
I get a lot of joy from this. Thank you for reassuring me.
Or if you are awaken … do you worry anymore in this way?
I used to have anxiety and panic attacks and even depression. It's all gone. Life is so light. It flows. There is peace and joy and beauty. And also sadness and pain, but not as I experienced them before. Everything is okay. There are no problems. I'm only saying this to give you a taste. I don't actually stand apart from life and evaluate it. I accept it exactly as it is.
Hugs,
Jeff
SEE that it is impossible for a thought to refer to anything other than a thought.
