Hey Vivien!
I have sat with the questions for a couple of days now, and I'm glad I did.
What makes that deciding thought to appear? Is that your doing?
No. It certainly isn't. It becomes clear when I try to find the origin of the thought, where it came from and where it goes after it has passed. There wasn't a thinker who thought it up.
Is there someone there intentionally deciding?
No. I had previously mistaken the feeling or thought of someone intentionally deciding or having control over this but there isn't anyone there. When I look, it's just like the breath. It's appearing on its own. And actually quite funny that the appearance is now trying to reference itself in this search :)
Is there a doer, doing it?
No. Whenever I think "clearly it's me who is holding the breath" I simply look for that breath holder and they are nowhere. It's appearing, and thought was telling a story to rationalise or own the holding of the breath.
is there a breath holder? And then a breath releaser?
No. It's like looking in empty space. Nothing there.
How is the movement controlled?
It seems crazy but thought has nothing to do with it. Again, I'm laughing at some of these realisations! I feel silly also using the words "I am laughing" because it doesn't feel technically true. There is an appearance or an experience of laughing, but "I" will keep using "I", "me" etc as a tool or a shortcut for language to describe these things.
Does a thought control it?
No. Not at all. There appears to be far too much happening in that movement for thought to have anything to do with it.
Is a thought moving the hand? If yes, how?
As far as I can tell, thought tries to put the incorrect story of "I moved the hand" over the top of a movement that has nothing to do with thought.
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
No. In the days that I sat with these inquiries - this provided a lot of clarity.
How is the decision made to turn the hand over?
I feel like I can catch thought trying to rationalise it and label it, but it's not quite quick enough to escape scrutiny. Thought isn't deciding. There is no deciding happening, there is just happening.
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Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
THIS provided the most clarity of all. Thought was too slow to claim this one. I walked through the inquiries one by one and before I knew it, when this question came up, thought was caught in the act. The right hand was already raised. No decision was made! Thought was busted and it brought about more laughter!
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?
No, it's just happening.
When the head of a sunflower turns to the sun, what is moving the flower?
It's the same process whatever that process is. In fact, it doesn't have a label, it just is. It's just nature, natureing but even that is too much labelling - this body is part of that.
Is there a ‘mover’ somewhere inside the flower to turn its head?
No. Absolutely not. It now seems very silly that thought makes itself the centre of attention and gets in the way (or thinks it gets in the way) of nature.
When the hand is turning up and down, is there a ‘mover’ hidden somewhere inside the hand or the body performing the movement?
No, simply moving happening.
Thank you Vivien.
