All there is ..is this...

[Shantipriya]

What is the fear itself?

I don't know what this fear is..but when it's looked for , it's felt in the body as a nervousness.

What is it protecting?

It's protecting me..all the identities, mother, friend, daughter, partner..and beneath all them, the inner child.

What is it that feels threatened? 

That which feels like it's running the show, so to speak..the master controller ! It fears Losing control...falling apart..feelung vulnerability.


 Ask the fear (literally) to reveal why it’s here. Ask it what it is trying to tell you; ask the fear to share its wisdom. What does it want to tell you? 

When I ask why it's here..what comes up is it's protecting me, keeping me safe.that whatever challenges that may arise , I will be ok .

If there is no self and never was, then there is nothing that needs to be protected. Honor the feeling. Bow to it. Thank it for doing its job so perfectly. Notice that it is here to protect; it’s a friend. Fear is really love in disguise. It is only showing you where to look. Fear points to the dark areas that need to be explored. Fear is not meant to be feared. Now, look behind the fear. Is there anything behind it? If so, what? And what is behind that? What do you find? If the mind gets blank, silently notice that the silence is not the absence of an answer, it is the answer. Let that sink in

Now, look behind the fear. Is there anything behind it? If so, what is behind that? What do you find?

When I look behind the fear, I don't find anything...there is spaciousness...peace.

Thank you.

[jgdapoorva]

Nice,

Thank you for your honest replies. Fear is understandable. And it's so wonderful that when you look behind fear, you find nothing, just peace, and spaciousness. So whenever fear arises, thank it, feel it, let it be there. It's an old friend only trying to protect. Just keep looking behind the fear. See if there is really anything there that needs protection. You might be surprised to find there is nothing.

When fear is taken care of, the other thing that gets in the way of seeing is the expectations. What needs to be seen is so obvious, right in front of us. It's the expectations of how that seeing will be, what will be the effects of that seeing that stop us from seeing reality as it is. It's important that we bring out our expectations and put them aside to see the reality with fresh eyes. So here we go.

What do you expect that liberation is going to be like?
What do you want from it?
How do you imagine a liberated human behaves?
What should it be like?
What will it give you, what do you hope for?
What don't you want it to be like?

Just write all this out and examine it. Your full honesty is the key here, find all expectations and write them down, then look for the hidden expectations. Once you write it all out, accept that expectations are in the way of seeing with fresh eyes, so leave all this behind in order to take a fresh look. If you keep clinging to your expectations, go back to the fear section and look at what is behind the expectations. What is there that feels threatened?

Regards

[Shantipriya]

What do you expect that liberation is going to be like?

Freedom from identification with the mind, emotions and body thereby freedom from stories, just being in whatever arises, no one attaching itself to anything.

What do you want from it?

Peace...stillness.

How do you imagine a liberated human behaves?

Hmm...I want to say...I have no idea ! But if imagination is used..I would say they would live quite spontaneously and accepting what is., that's what comes to mind.

What should it be like?

I don't know .

What will it give you, what do you hope for?

Freedom from the constant stream of thoughts and the idea that there is some separate person named Shantipriya living in This body...its such a lived idea..that there is someone looking out and seeing , feeling, interpreting everything as separate..I am here and outside is everything else. Freedom from the identities. Just pure beingness being in whatever is arising...for no one.

What don't you want it to be like?

I don't have an answer here.

Thank you.

[jgdapoorva]

Good,

I apologize for the delay in posting. Had gotten unwell.
All expectations no matter what you expect is not what it is going to be like. Anytime you feel stuck, come back to expectations, if there is something that you think should be happening, but it isn't- there is an expectation behind it. They are not useful but in the way.

Here is an exercise for you
Imagine that you are holding a spoon. Imagine form, size, weight, temperature, keep it there, close your eyes, and feel the imaginary spoon. Open your eyes; is there a spoon here, in real life? So how did you see that there is no spoon? What happened to the spoon? Did it disappear or it never existed?

Notice, that there was no boom and no bright light flashes in the eyes when the imaginary spoon was no longer imagine. Remember this, a shift is not going to be more than this, it’s just a drop of belief- the glue that holds the illusion together.
Look around the room notice what is real. What is here now? Notice things, notice looking around the room. If you think that this world is not real, check it against an imaginary picture.

Here is another exercise:

Close your eyes and imagine you are in the kitchen. Just visualize and look around, notice where things are put. Notice the space, the feel of it. This is an image, it can trigger feelings and contractions - expansions thought stories and feelings attached to them.
Open eyes and see how an image can be created and explored in the mind.
Go to the kitchen and look at the same things that you saw in the image, how does imagining and experiencing the same things differ? Is the image of the kitchen and the experience of the kitchen the same?
Focus on the image of me, the separate individual entity, is it an image or an actual entity?

If I was to tell you that Santa is real, would you see it in the room right now? Can you see the difference between real and imagined?
Self is imagined. You can look for the real self, but can it be found?
Look in each sense- can you find the self? ( is there a self in touch, smelling, tasting, seeing, and hearing? Test with each sense. Is the controller/manager in a head? if so, how does a self give commands to the body?

Regards,

[Shantipriya]

Imagine that you are holding a spoon. Imagine form, size, weight, temperature, keep it there, close your eyes, and feel the imaginary spoon. Open your eyes; is there a spoon here, in real life? So how did you see that there is no spoon? What happened to the spoon? Did it disappear or it never existed?

Open your eyes, is there a spoon here, in real life?

No spoon when I opened my eyes.

So how did you see there is no spoon?

The imagination stopped running..

What happened to the spoon?

The spoon wasn't real.

Did it disappear or it never existed?

It never existed.


Close your eyes and imagine you are in the kitchen. Just visualize and look around, notice where things are put. Notice the space, the feel of it. This is an image, it can trigger feelings and contractions - expansions thought stories and feelings attached to them.
Open eyes and see how an image can be created and explored in the mind.
Go to the kitchen and look at the same things that you saw in the image, how does imagining and experiencing the same things differ? Is the image of the kitchen and the experience of the kitchen the same?
Focus on the image of me, the separate individual entity, is it an image or an actual entity?


Go to the kitchen and look at the same things that you saw in the image, how does imagining and experiencing the same things differ?

Experiencing seems different as everything seems to be solid , more here but on the other hand..imagining and experiencing also seems the same.


Focus on the image of me, the separate individual entity, is it an image or an actual entity?

An image .

If I was to tell you that Santa is real, would you see it in the room right now? Can you see the difference between real and imagined?

No, I wouldn't see Santa in the room in reality, only in imagination.
Yes I see the difference.

Self is imagined. You can look for the real self, but can it be found?

No, I can't find it, the self, only in imagination.

Look in each sense- can you find the self? ( is there a self in touch, smelling, tasting, seeing, and hearing? Test with each sense. Is the controller/manager in a head? if so, how does a self give commands to the body?

No..the self can't be found in sensations.
The manager has nothing to do with it..they're just happening...seeing, hearing etc are just running without being controlled.

Thank you.

[jgdapoorva]

Hey,

imagining and experiencing also seems the same

How are imagining and experiencing the same?

No..the self can't be found in sensations. The manager has nothing to do with it..they're just happening...seeing, hearing, etc are just running without being controlled.

What is noticing this?

Regards,

[Shantipriya]

How are imagining and experiencing the same?

Imagining and experiencing are both driven by the mind..


No..the self can't be found in sensations. The manager has nothing to do with it..they're just happening...seeing, hearing, etc are just running without being controlled.

What is noticing this?

I come to a blank space...no one is noticing..its just what seems to be happening.

[jgdapoorva]

Hello Shantipriya,

Off the track, but could I know your name, if convenient to you. :)

How is the imagined kitchen the same as the actual kitchen?
I would like you to really go into both the versions, the actual kitchen and the imagined kitchen and describe how the two are same and different.

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Greetings Apoorva...

My name is Shantipriya...given to me by Osho...which is the name I usually go by...my family though call me by the name my parents gave me which is Patricia. :)

May I ask if your male or female...though there is no importance to this!

How is the imagined kitchen the same as the actual kitchen?

The vision is the same but when it is imagined it is difficult to hold onto it , that which is imagined and there is also the sensation in the body of sitting on the chair with sounds etc happening in the background..When I walk into the kitchen...I feel the body moving and a real lived sense of being in the kitchen...everything being solid and here., that I am here in the kitchen.

Thank you.

[jgdapoorva]

Hello,

My gender is male.

Close your eyes after reading this paragraph and find that which is always present. Feelings of aliveness, aware being-ness, ‘I am’. Stay with the feeling. Is it personal? It feels personal because for all those years you thought that you exist as a separate being. It’s a sense plus labeling of the mind as “me”.

Look at thoughts:
Where do they come from?
Can you control them?
What influences thoughts?
Do you know what your next thought is going to be?
Can a thought be stopped in the middle?
What do you know for sure?

Answer these questions for yourself, notice the thinking process. How do thoughts come, in bundles or one after another, one at a time?

Notice that thoughts come and go by themselves. They are just thoughts, like clouds in the sky. And there is nothing that controls them, they roll one after another and there is no way to stop or get rid of them. Like a river that is running freely. Look at the mind as a labeling machine. Experience happens, labeling follows. Noticing, observation, witnessing happens, labels pop right after. Notice body breathing, look, is it breathing by itself, or is there a breather? Label says “I breathe”. Is there an I that does the breathing? How about when you sleep? Does breathing need a breather? Same with walking, eating, listening to music, dancing. Every experience is followed by “I did this” commentary. But look closer; is there a walker, an eater, a dancer? If the language says that there is an object doing the action, is that true in your direct experience?

Play with the labeling for a bit, notice that label I is just a label, a word that precedes other words in the labeling. Right now reading happens effortlessly and if you just stop for a second, thoughts appear and start labeling………I is one of the thoughts. I is not a thinker, it's a thought arising in awareness.

Can a thought think? Can a thought do anything? So if I is a thought and thought does not think, where is the thinker? Is there one?

Regards

[Shantipriya]

Look at thoughts:
Where do they come from?

They just pop up from nowhere.

Can you control them?
No, no control but if the attention , awareness is not going there..thoughts may come and go but no one is attached .

What influences thoughts?

The "I" owning experiences.

Do you know what your next thought is going to be?
No

Can a thought be stopped in the middle?
No. I have noticed though that when it is noticed, thoughts arising and there is no attention there it seems as though the thought has stopped.

What do you know for sure?
Nothing.....but the person thinks they could know for sure...like if you cut yourself.. it would cause pain.
Can a thought think? 
No.

Can a thought do anything? So if I is a thought and thought does not think, where is the thinker? Is there one?

Thoughts are just thoughts, they don't serve any purpose other than to entertain the person., the I., if they are happy thoughts or causing suffering if not happy thoughts. But then who is this I to entertain or cause suffering if the I is only a thought. So there is no thinker.

Thank you.

[jgdapoorva]

Hello Shantipriya,

So how do you feel after all these exercises? What do you see?
You know, to see that there is no you, is very simple. All it needs is just a clear intention to see the reality no matter what. What prevents one from seeing are expectations and fear. The fear that something will be lost and the expectation that it has to be something special. Well, nothing is really lost other than a firm belief and the seeing can be very subtle and simple. No fireworks, no boom, nothing...just a recognition of the obvious.
So what's with you?

There is only one pointer-LOOK!!!

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Hi Apoorva,

So how do you feel after all these e xercises?
How do I feel ? There is no I to feel anything.

What do you see ?
I see that there is no "I" but it is still just a thought...it doesn't feel real and what is real.?.my life is just a story..apparently ,and all there is , is just what's happening ,for no one. " I " Won't get this, there is the sense of knowing this here , but then who is this Knower. The "I"...and here I am ! all concepts and frustrated ! What a story....if I could only get out of the way !!

So what's with you ?
I can only say that the"I" is in the way...blocking the view ! I don't know what more to say.

Thank you.

[jgdapoorva]

Hello,

I apologize for the delayed response.

I see that there is no "I" but it is still just a thought.

When you see at there is no "I", what do you mean by its sill just a thought?

it doesn't feel real and what is real.?.

What do you mean here? What i should feel like?

if I could only get out of the way. I can only say that the"I" is in the way...blocking the view!

When there is no "I", then which "I" you are referring to here?

here I am ! all concepts and frustrated

What's this frustration about? What do you really want?

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Greetings Apoorva,

Good to have you back here.
I would like to say thank you for guiding me.



"I see that there is no "I" but it is still just a thought.
When you see at there is no "I", what do you mean by its sill just a thought?

The "I" , the separate self is apparently a thought...but who is seeing this...? When looking for the I ..and it is not found, who is looking ?

"it doesn't feel real and what is real.?.
What do you mean here? What i should feel like?

When I read what I wrote..it doesn't make sense ! I think I was totally identified in overthinking and and frustrated .

#If I could only get out of the way. I can only say that the"I" is in the way...blocking the view!
When there is no "I", then which "I" you are referring to here?

There is only one "I" ..the separate self..and isn't it "in the way" so to speak...to Liberation...freedom of self.


"here I am ! all concepts and frustrated"
What's this frustration about?

The frustration is only there in thought..when I ask who is frustrated..there is no one to be found.
Spacious peace stillness and joy of beingness are found. No one is feeling this, it's just here.

What do you really want?
"I" wants so much...and beingness..I amness wants for nothing...

Regards,
Shantioriya.