I don't want to be blind any longer

[Anastacia42]

Hi Tricia,

61 12/19 is december 19th?

Yes. I'm near Boulder, Colorado in the US. I think you said you're in Germany. 1/12 Nice.

I can't find anything, nowhere. I searched inside, like inner vision (do I think I would see it???),

No. We don't expect you to find. It is the LOOKING and not finding that helps.

Is it just a habit to believe it does exist and that habit resists the obviousness of not finding it?

Yes, exactly.

I am wondering, what is going on?

We will wonder forever. We do not know.

"What is going on?" is a complete mystery. Allow the wonder of it.


This exercise shows how our languaging affects us.

Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation ie is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Post this list.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

Post this list, too.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labeled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body? Describe this.

Relax, have fun. Looking forward to your replies.

Loving,

[TeeKa112]

Hi Stacy, good morning,

here is the first part of the list:

Mind Labeling Experience

1. Post this list.

I am sitting at my desk, I am sitting on a chair
I feel my butt on the chair and I feel my feet on the carpet
I look out of the window
I see trees, I see leaves moving
I see blue sky and white clouds
I hear the sound of the paper moving on desk
I hear the sound of the pen moving on paper
I look at computer screen
I go out onto the balcony
I feel heat on my skin
I feel some wind blowing over my skin and moving my hair
I hear the noise of water running
I hear voices of children
I hear birds singing
I am checking my inner sensations, I feel good in my body, I hear some noises (of degestion?)
I feel lightness in the chest area
I feel some contraction in the middle of the chest, like a closed zipper, I see this zipper as black
I feel the pillow soft in my back
I feel the tiles on the ground hard under my feet
I see the river
I see women and children playing in water
I see the water running

[TeeKa112]

2. Post this list, too.

sitting at desk
looking at screen
going to balcony
seeing trees
seeing sky and clouds
sitting on sofa
feeling heat on skin
hearing water run
hearing children's voices
feeling hard and cool under feet
feeling soft at back
smelling grass and trees
hearing birds
feeling chest open
feeling spacious in chest
feeling loose inside
breathing slowly and deeply
sensation of paper on my legs

[TeeKa112]

3. At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labeled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

The 2 nd experience feels more direct, more in the action, in this sense, yes more true to what????
Not sure about the "I", which was doing all these actions... feels funny and strange now, this "I".
Sitting at desk is all true

2. What is here without labels?

Wow! Without labels? labels are everything, without the label "sitting at desk," what is left?
Ok, I just try it, eyes closed: silence, quietness, some sound in the ears, deep breathing, more and more relaxing of body, no feeling of me or I

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

Well, it seems to me now, that they do the experience, without labeling during being in the experience, nobody is taking notice

4. Did you notice any differences in the body? Describe this.

Yes, in the 2nd part body felt more quiet, spacious, loose, more soft, or better it feels less dense, it feels less body
Sitting here again at desk and computer and just sitting and looking at body and inside, with eyes closed, after some time feels like body is without boundaries
What I can say for sure, that something is alive here.......

Relax, have fun. Looking forward to your replies.

Thank you Stacy, that was needed, "I" was getting tense and mind had doubts.

Yes I will relax now and fun will come by itself:-))

Thank you so much

Love
Trisha

[Anastacia42]

Thank you, Tricia. Yes. We only see clearly when we are relaxed and open.


Let's try the Apple Exercise. Then we will move to a different aspect of this.


Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known? Is "self" any different?

And yes, have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving,

[TeeKa112]

Good morning Stacy,

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

I had bought strawberries this morning:-) I took the largest one, pretty big.

I look at it and think: strawberry, but I also can think Erdbeere (the German word for strawberry)
So, the words/labels are not the fruit. One fruit has many labels in different languages

I look and see red/colour and round/form, that I can see. But either red nor round is a strawberry.

I touch it and there is a thought of sensation of strawberries

I smell it and the smell says strawberry. But the smell is not the strawberry.

I eat it and taste it and thought says Taste of strawberry. But the experience of tasting is different from the label “strawberry”

Yes I can see, the colour and form, the taste, touch and smell are all direct. I am experiencing something. These experiences are real.

I have learnt to label this strawberry.

I remember when I went to Asia the first times, I loved to try all the fruits there, which I had never seen, never tasted, never smelled, never touched. And never had a thought about.

I had no names, no labels.

I remember that my mind constantly tried to compare with other fruits I knew, this tastes a bit like peach, but looks like pineapple, smells like melon, gives a sensation in the mouth like pears.....and so on....... as if the fruit without name couldn't exist for itself. I saw that it existed, lying in front of me, but in my mind, there was a blank as if nothing there......I couldn't think/label it.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

I am not sure if I understand your question here:
When I looked at colour and form, the thought was strawberry
when I ate it, the taste and then thought was strawberry
when I smelled it, the smell and then thought was strawberry
But none of these thoughts was the real fruit.

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

The looking at it and seeing the colour is not the strawberry
the eating and smelling of it is not the strawberry
the thinking it as strawberry is not the strawberry

It seems I can have experiences of elements of strawberry but not a direct experience of strawberry.

However, is an apple actually known? Is "self" any different?

Wow, I can experience a colour, taste, smell, but not "Strawberry", that is a thought.

And the self........ is a thought only, not known through any experience.....

The more I try to understand here, the more foggy it gets in my head.....


not sure if I got this right........

Looking forward and
happy summer solstice day

Trisha

[Anastacia42]

Hi Tricia,

I'm just checking in quickly on a break. I'll say more later and give you a new pointer, too.

Your answers are correct.

The more I try to understand here, the more foggy it gets in my head.....

Can you see why that would be? Is the content of thought real?

Loving,

[TeeKa112]

Dear Stacy,

you can take it easy, no hurry, it is late evening and I am going to bed now............

One thing is, that I stopped searching and doing, I gave myself totally to you, my guide...... that is also scary, well, my character has certainly traits of leading and influencing...... so now, I am on the other side, I love it, but still.... and I trust you and the LU process and and life......so......

Have a great day, the longest for quiet some time and see you tomorrow

Love Trisha

[Anastacia42]

Thanks, Tricia.

I had a long day, too.

The more I try to understand here, the more foggy it gets in my head...

..
Can you see why that would be? Is the content of thought real?

Please do answer the questions above.

Remember the Colored Socks exercise? We don't care about "thinking" at all in this guiding.


Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Let me know what is SEEN.

Loving,

[TeeKa112]

Dear Stacey,

The more I try to understand here, the more foggy it gets in my head...

..
Can you see why that would be? Is the content of thought real?

The fogginess is a direct consequence of “trying to understand”, which is thinking about thoughts, thinking and believing the content of thoughts, trying “to get” the content of thoughts.
And no, the contents of thoughts are not real, because I cannot see, touch, smell, taste or hear them.
I can let go and not trying anything. Then there is no fogginess.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

The actual experience is seeing red colour. Red colour letters.

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

The color red is experienced.

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

Green is a label. I don't see any correspondence with any reality. So it must suggest something else, because only red color is here now.

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

No, I don't see any association between the word GREEN and what I can see in DE: red color. So green is a label for something and I don't experience any reality between what I see and this label GREEN. So a label can overlay the actual experience.
Wow, I never saw this so clearly.

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Also if the label would say GOOD or BAD, I only could see the red color. I don't see any way how the redness could be affected by any label, because I see RED.

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Would redness become green, only because the label says so? So also redness doesn't become anything other than REDNESS. I cannot see that the label has an affect on reality.

Let me know what is SEEN.

Direct seeing shows that what I see is not necessarily labeled in the correct/reality way.
I see that labelling can be arbitrary, not having any relationship between label and DE/reality.

Have a great day

[Anastacia42]

Good afternoon, Tricia!

I can let go and not trying anything. Then there is no fogginess.

Good! Yes.

So green is a label for something and I don't experience any reality between what I see and this label GREEN. So a label can overlay the actual experience.
Wow, I never saw this so clearly.

Isn't it a relief to see so clearly?

Direct seeing shows that what I see is not necessarily labeled in the correct/reality way.
I see that labelling can be arbitrary, not having any relationship between label and DE/reality.

Very good. Yes, now try this one. Same thing, different labels:


Friend/Stranger

Bring up a thought about a character labeled "friend."

Then bring up a thought about a character labeled "stranger."

Compare these thoughts.

Is there a difference in these thoughts?

Is there a true difference or is it just different content?

Now, bring up a thought about a character labeled "friend."

After that, look at a thought about the character labelled "me.”

Is there a difference?

Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character?"

Let me know what is found.

Loving,

[TeeKa112]

Hello Stacy,

So green is a label for something and I don't experience any reality between what I see and this label GREEN. So a label can overlay the actual experience.
Wow, I never saw this so clearly.

Isn't it a relief to see so clearly?

Yes, it is a big relief. It is helping the dis-identification from the non-existing self, from the idea of a separate self on a direct level, not only in thoughts, more experiencial.
The more I look here, the bigger the relief.
The relief is directed at something (in me??), that some other me, my belief of a separate self, can obviously also not be true, just a false label. Ha

It also becomes clear, the AE stays real and points to truth and can not be distorted by all labelling, and labelling is always unreal.




1.

Is there a difference in these thoughts?

Yes, these 2 different thoughts produced 2 different sensations, the friend sensation is a warm and spacious sensation in the chest area, the stranger thought keeps the chest area neutral.

Is there a true difference or is it just different content?

OK, I should have looked more at the thoughts themselves. I try again:
I imagined them as kind of film characters. The friend was dressed lighter, friendly looking movements, friendly looking face, where the stranger stayed in the dark, couldn't see a face, dressed dark. But neutral "atmosphere".
Both characters are only existing in thoughts, and there is only different content.
But I also notice that certain contents of thoughts can produce sensations???


2.

Is there a difference?

Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character?"

Let me know what is found.

No, no difference and nothing special, the me-character is not at all more real or “nearer to reality” in the sense how I see my face in a mirror, how I can see how this Trisha moves or what I think to know about my personality, not even how this body looks on photos, than the thought of a friend or a stranger character.

this me-character did not even produce a warm feeling in my chest.

All seem like fiction figures in a film. Totally neutral and non-personal. Non of these characters has anything to do with "me". None of them produce a AE in my body.

That is very interesting. The non existing me cannot even imagine itself as a real me......

But one thought is here: who is doing the exercise? Who is doing the imagining of different film characters?
Is it just happening because something reponds to your questions?

Love
Trisha

[Anastacia42]

Good, Tricia. When you looked again you saw there was no difference , just some labels on "friend," stranger," "me."

But one thought is here: who is doing the exercise? Who is doing the imagining of different film characters?
Is it just happening because something reponds to your questions?

Must there be a "who" for there to be doing? Or is all just happening?

If you LOOK there is only happening.

We have no idea how or why. That is simply a mystery.

Loving, (only a happening!)

[TeeKa112]

Good afternoon dear Stacy,

thank you for this question and pointing out again:


But one thought is here: who is doing the exercise? Who is doing the imagining of different film characters?
Is it just happening because something reponds to your questions?

Must there be a "who" for there to be doing? Or is all just happening?

I went back to the exercises about looking and trying to find a me, a separate self. And I looked again now. With all the 5 senses and I didn't find anything. Same result as the other day. Clearly there is functioning and doing. There is no me or self functioning or doing. Clear.
There is responding to your questions and answering them. Part of the question was to do imagining and that is what happended.
It is easy for me to "see" or "feel" that life is just life-ing........ nobody is doing this. Clear. Trees are treeing and animals are doing there thing. All is.

It looks like it is more sticky for my mind to get the same clarity when it comes to this "me". I don't find it anywhere. I am aware and clear, that there is nobody/no me or self/ nothing who or what is doing or calling in thoughts. There is nobody or nothing that has any power here, thoughts come and go how they like, in there own sweet timing and with their own content.
Or?? there must be something, not a thing, but an energy. The same energy that is using life for life-ing and nature for nature-ing? This energy also has this body/mind Trisha running?


Now I also went back to the beginning exercise of

Now please tell me what comes up when it's read there is no self, never has been, and never will be?

And I do it again:

There is a battle!

And again like last week, when I did this exercise for the 1 st time, all good in the body, like chest area and the whole system of the body feels good, light, ready to expand even more......??
But feeling of some “holding this back”, and a strong contraction in my head/mind.
I feel resistance in the head. Something in my mind doesn't accept my own DE of not finding a me ore self. What is this??? I feel more resistance than fear, but also some fear now. “It” would get jobless. And meaningless. And powerless. But it doesn't exist in the first place.......

OK, here I don't get any further. I need your help here.
What is going on here?

Thank you and looking farward
Trisha

[Anastacia42]

Hi Tricia,

You're doing great. Yes, keep LOOKING for this mythical "self."

And again like last week, when I did this exercise for the 1 st time, all good in the body, like chest area and the whole system of the body feels good, light, ready to expand even more......??

Yes! Notice that when something is true you feel expansive & light.

But feeling of some “holding this back”, and a strong contraction in my head/mind.
I feel resistance in the head. Something in my mind doesn't accept my own DE of not finding a me ore self. What is this??? I feel more resistance than fear, but also some fear now. “It” would get jobless. And meaningless. And powerless. But it doesn't exist in the first place.......

When something is false, you feel this "strong contraction."

Would you really "get jobless? And meaningless? And powerless?" or is that only your fearful imagination?


Here's another way to explore this:

Imagine “me”

Many experience the ‘me’ as being centred in the head.

What I would like you to do is imagine a small apple centred in the head. Before the apple disappears….

…imagine a canary centred in the head, tweeting away.

Before, the canary flies off (weird huh?)….

…imagine a 'me' centred in the head.

Stay with it…

…imagine it is completely transparent. See straight through it…

…imagine there not seeming to be a 'me' in the head anymore.

Give it a go, see what happens.

Loving,