Deepening awakening

[Ronaldo]

Bonjour Véronique

The feeling of being a separate self is there most of the time. I look at it and see it is an illusion, but it still plays itself. I spent a lot of time looking and unmasking it. It is amazing how it feels like everything is happening to "me" and when I look there is nothing there. Sometime the appearance of a self is not there at all. It feels like the veil is gone.

Yes, we're not trying to deny the seeming appearance of self, the body the thoughts, we are merely noticing everything, and allowing everything just the way it is. You pick up a rock and peek under it, smile and let it rest back, it's still the same rock, but you know what's behind it and it's ok.

I hear a sound
I see the mountain
I want to take care of others
I want recognition
I eat lovely food
I feel ashamed...

Yes, what about sensations? let's take a deeper look at the body.
Please sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, notice the mental images of the body and the thoughts, but without relying on them:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ actually refer to?
What is the actual experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question.

When you say that a sense of identification appears. Am I my name ? This name was given to this body by my parents. Who is the I, again nothing is there. It does not matter whether I like it or not, whether I feel flattered or ashamed by your comment, it is a thought appearing.

It doesn't matter, but I still like that name 😊
Do you feel like you're at war with thoughts? Do you want them to stop?

Ron

[Veronique]

Good evening Ron,

I felt stressed and a bit at war with what I was going through and did your exercice, it helped me to be more at peace.
Even though I understand it is not its aim 😊

Can it be known how tall the body is?

No referring to sensation only, there is no way to know

Does the body have a weight or volume?

Same answer

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

again no

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?

There is the sensation of the clothing against nothing. No boundary

Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

No when I refer to sensations

Is there an inside or an outside?

No

If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

No inside, no outside, only vibrations, sensations, no border

What does the word/label ‘body’ actually refer to?
Sensations, it feels like a vibration.
What is the actual experience of the body?
It is vibrant

It doesn't matter, but I still like that name 😊

Thank you !! 😁

Do you feel like you're at war with thoughts? Do you want them to stop?

Yes, when it is intense, when there is a lot, it feels like all is too much, I feel strong emotions sometimes and thoughts are very busy.

Have a lovely evening,
Véronique

[Ronaldo]

Hello dear Véronique,

I felt stressed and a bit at war with what I was going through and did your exercice, it helped me to be more at peace. Even though I understand it is not its aim 😊

Yes, focusing on sensations is like getting your head out of the water for fresh air. I'd like you to consider adopting a new practice, mini-meditations all day long, it's simple effective and enjoyable. Turn your routines into wonderful seconds of observations. When brushing your teeth - watch the paste squeezed out onto the brush, feel the tastes and smells, watch the movement. Same with every sip of water or beverage, pause - feel the tastes the coldness/warmness etc. spend a few seconds with that! Brushing your hair, getting dressed or undressed, just observe and sense the fabric on your skin, no thinking is needed, but watch the tagging happening.

R: What does the word/label ‘body’ actually refer to?

V: Sensations, it feels like a vibration.

Is that all?
What about visuals, sounds, smells, tastes? Do you associate any of these senses to the tag body?

R: What is the actual experience of the body?

V: It is vibrant

Yes, you can't really quite describe sensations with words, sensations feel like vibrations, tingling, pulsating.
But what you describe are sensations, what makes sensations an experience of a body?
If you take all the senses above - the visuals (legs, hands), the sounds (e.g. breathing, digestion), tastes, sensations - what makes these point to a body if not thought?

So again - what is the actual experience of the body? Is there an experience of a body or there are only thoughts and a concept of a body?

Yes, when it is intense, when there is a lot, it feels like all is too much, I feel strong emotions sometimes and thoughts are very busy.

You have already seen that thoughts don't take orders, they appear, disappear and what they say can point to actual experience like "green", "sweet" but more often they point to concepts and other thoughts. As you said before, there is no control over thoughts, correct?

Is there someone perceiving the thoughts?
For thoughts to be a problem, someone or something needs to consider them a problem, who is doing that?

Regards
Ron

[Veronique]

Good morning Dear Ron,

R: What does the word/label ‘body’ actually refer to?
V: Sensations, it feels like a vibration.
Is that all?
What about visuals, sounds, smells, tastes? Do you associate any of these senses to the tag body?

Everything just happen by itself, even the impression of a body. My body is just a thought. All sensations, sounds, smells, tastes, visuals appears. It seems like it is coming from the body because when I close my eyes images disappear, when I shut my hear sounds vanish. But if I look there is no localisation to sounds, images, smells, tastes, they happen. It is not the eyes that are looking, seing is happening. It is not always obvious but when I look, it is. It is a mystery.

R: What is the actual experience of the body?
V: It is vibrant
Yes, you can't really quite describe sensations with words, sensations feel like vibrations, tingling, pulsating.
But what you describe are sensations, what makes sensations an experience of a body?
If you take all the senses above - the visuals (legs, hands), the sounds (e.g. breathing, digestion), tastes, sensations - what makes these point to a body if not thought?

You are right, all the senses just happen, it is a habit to associate them with the body, it is a thought. The body is actually like the chair I sit on. I have no words, but while I am writing this I can see that it does not belong to "me", it is very touching to see that. It just appear like all the senses, like the chair, images and so on... it make me want to cry. I knew it and again it is like if I see it for the first time.

So again - what is the actual experience of the body? Is there an experience of a body or there are only thoughts and a concept of a body?

Like I said before, there are only thoughts and concepts of a body. It just appear, like an image, I could maybe say, even though there are no words to describe that, it is life happening in this form. But even that sounds not right. I cannot locate life, it does not exist either, everything just happen, no idea how and why. Gratitude to let me see that.

Yes, when it is intense, when there is a lot, it feels like all is too much, I feel strong emotions sometimes and thoughts are very busy.
You have already seen that thoughts don't take orders, they appear, disappear and what they say can point to actual experience like "green", "sweet" but more often they point to concepts and other thoughts. As you said before, there is no control over thoughts, correct?

Yes 100% there is no control

Is there someone perceiving the thoughts?

They simply appear and disappear.

For thoughts to be a problem, someone or something needs to consider them a problem, who is doing that?

At the moment all is very quiet, no thoughts are appearing. I will look at it very carefully next time I am struggling with thoughts. But I have the intuition, even if it is not my experience right now (as no thoughts are appearing), that it is just other thoughts that are considering that the intensity is not ok, and these thoughts also simply appear and disappear.
It is good to see that !!! I am almost looking forward to go through this kind of intensity to explore :)

Thank you again and again for this amazing work, it is so precious.

Have a lovely day Ron.

Véronique

[Ronaldo]

Dear Véronique,

if I look there is no localisation to sounds, images, smells, tastes, they happen. It is not the eyes that are looking, seing is happening. It is not always obvious but when I look, it is. It is a mystery.

Yes, exactly! Only thoughts provides location, distance, explanations...

The body is actually like the chair I sit on. I have no words, but while I am writing this I can see that it does not belong to "me", it is very touching to see that. It just appear like all the senses, like the chair, images and so on... it make me want to cry. I knew it and again it is like if I see it for the first time.

Wonderful Véronique, I'm so happy you see that. Parts of the body, of the face, the chair, the tree.... all sights that is just color forming shapes and look like objects, no inside or outside. You can always just put your hand on the table and close your eyes. See if there is a hand sensing a table at all? Can you tell them apart? And can you see the thought coming in with an announcement, explaining what the table is made of and how cold or warm it is?

Watch the thoughts at play when the gaze sets on objects, it's almost instant.. how quickly the thought tags the object. Now soften your gaze, don't focus but allow it to relax and watch without tagging for a bit. Is there real distance between "you" and the "object"? You don't need to answer, just allow yourself to experiment with it.

R: For thoughts to be a problem, someone or something needs to consider them a problem, who is doing that?

V: At the moment all is very quiet, no thoughts are appearing. I will look at it very carefully next time I am struggling with thoughts. But I have the intuition, even if it is not my experience right now (as no thoughts are appearing), that it is just other thoughts that are considering that the intensity is not ok

Ah, Bingo!!

It is good to see that !!! I am almost looking forward to go through this kind of intensity to explore :)

That's so wonderful to read! Curiosity and honesty is all that is needed.

Thank you again and again for this amazing work, it is so precious.

Thank you for sharing the beauty that you find, the beauty that you are :-)


I'm assuming you know of the Bahiya Sutta, I wanted to remind you of this part:

In the seen, there is only the seen,
in the heard, there is only the heard,
in the sensed, there is only the sensed,
in the cognized, there is only the cognized.
Thus you should see that indeed there is no thing here;
this, Bahiya, is how you should train yourself


Is there any separation between the seen and the knowing of it? - the experience of the seen?
Is there any separation between a sound and the experience (or the knowing) of the sound?
Is there anything to be found except for experience?
And what knows experience?
What do you find?

With love
Ron

[Veronique]

Good morning Ron,

In the seen, there is only the seen,
in the heard, there is only the heard,
in the sensed, there is only the sensed,
in the cognized, there is only the cognized.
Thus you should see that indeed there is no thing here;
this, Bahiya, is how you should train yourself

It is beautiful, I did not know it, :)

Is there any separation between the seen and the knowing of it?

-

No, thoughts make me believe there is something I see, but it is said in the sutta, there is only the seen. The knowing of it is thoughts and they just appear like the seen.

the experience of the seen?

Not sure I understand your question ? the experience and the seen ?
If this is the question, there is no difference between the experience and the seen, it is the same.

Is there any separation between a sound and the experience (or the knowing) of the sound?

Same answer, sound appear, it is the experience. No one experience it.

Is there anything to be found except for experience?

No only the direct experience of everything.

And what knows experience?

No-one, nothing, experience is just happening like everything else to no-one for no reason.
A friend told me that the reason could be to experience duality. I have no Idea but I like it.

What do you find?

Again some story, nothing only what appears. And even that is nothing.

Having said all that, I have question if I may? I can see all that and the beauty, it is wonderful and there is often joy in my heart. And at the same time sometimes fear comes and it feels like a battle, I am going through changes in my everyday like and it can be challenging. What to you recommend? Watching again and again the thoughts and the comments? It does help but sensations can be difficult to deal with...

Looking forward to reading you.

With love,
Véronique

[Ronaldo]

Dear Véronique,

And what knows experience?
No-one, nothing, experience is just happening like everything else to no-one for no reason.
A friend told me that the reason could be to experience duality. I have no Idea but I like it.

Experience knows experience, experience knows itself, isn't that true? Look for yourself.

There are lots of other explanations like "you are the aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself" (Watts) or "You are the universe, expressing itself as a human for a little while." (Tolle). There may or may not be truth to it, so if you experience that - power to you, if it's just something someone says, then it's a pretty thought you can adopt or not.

Having said all that, I have question if I may?

Of course!

And at the same time sometimes fear comes and it feels like a battle, I am going through changes in my everyday like and it can be challenging. What to you recommend? Watching again and again the thoughts and the comments? It does help but sensations can be difficult to deal with...

Fear is common when you get close, it's a mechanism that is there to protect you, it always assumes danger, but is there danger? All the thoughts and sensations that spawn like a hairball from that core illusion of self (the ego if you like) is always valuableness and trying to preserve itself and it uses fear as the tool to keep it feeling separated and therefore stronger. Please note that I am using a metaphor describing this as if it was an entity, but it's absolutely not, it's not real and it has no existence other than a story or a dream. The assumption behind the fear is just as illusory as the self.

What brings that fear? Is there a particular thought that brings it up?
Or does it come up when you inquire or meditate?
Is it that you'll lose control? Die? Become a vegetable?

With fear (and actually with all emotions) you cannot dismiss them with "they are just emotions happening to nobody", and not even "it's just a thought and a body sensation" it is true, but it doesn't work like that, each belief needs to be seen and unwind, released.

Let's explore that fear, it's just hiding something, but it cannot hurt you.
So bring that thought up if you can, or do it when it comes up:
Find the sensation tagged "fear"..
locate it in your body, maybe a tightness in the chest or abdomen... if you focus on the sensation and drop the tag "it's scary", "danger" or "fearful", is it not just a sensation?
Now let it be there, let it be felt but don't go into thoughts, just keep focus on the sensation and offer it surrender, let it go through without resistance, accept it, give it love as if it is the small child Véronique and you are now the adult that brings her the love she needs.


love
Ron

[Veronique]

Good morning Ron,

Experience knows experience, experience knows itself

Yes, it is true and there is only one, it is simultaneous and at the same time words cannot describe it.

if it's just something someone says, then it's a pretty thought you can adopt or not.

Yes, of course.

What brings that fear? Is there a particular thought that brings it up?
Or does it come up when you inquire or meditate?
Is it that you'll lose control? Die? Become a vegetable?

I have sometimes existential fears of lacking, and maybe also of being alone unloved.

With fear (and actually with all emotions) you cannot dismiss them with "they are just emotions happening to nobody", and not even "it's just a thought and a body sensation" it is true, but it doesn't work like that, each belief needs to be seen and unwind, released.

Thank you for this explanation.

Let's explore that fear, it's just hiding something, but it cannot hurt you.
So bring that thought up if you can, or do it when it comes up:
Find the sensation tagged "fear"..
locate it in your body, maybe a tightness in the chest or abdomen... if you focus on the sensation and drop the tag "it's scary", "danger" or "fearful", is it not just a sensation?
Now let it be there, let it be felt but don't go into thoughts, just keep focus on the sensation and offer it surrender, let it go through without resistance, accept it, give it love as if it is the small child Véronique and you are now the adult that brings her the love she needs

.

Very nice, I am a therapist and I often do that with my clients, meeting the little boy or girl they have been and give them love attention whatever they need.

With love,
Véronique

[Ronaldo]

Dear Véronique,

I have sometimes existential fears of lacking, and maybe also of being alone unloved.

Does fear come up during your inquiry? When you are looking at experience?
My guiding is focused on the illusion that creates the separate self, we look behind the scenes how this self seems to be manufactured and by revealing it as an experimental process, the illusion is exposed. There will be flip-flopping between feeling like a self, and the loss of that sticky identity, the clarity of just this being, life, everything, no-thing.

Having fears about lack, or of being alone can still take place if the self illusion is seen through, all the deep wounds, traumas and pains are playing their patterns as always and will need to be worked on.
We can explore this if you like after this inquiry is fulfilled.

Very nice, I am a therapist and I often do that with my clients, meeting the little boy or girl they have been and give them love attention whatever they need.

Yes, the idea is somewhat similar but there are (perhaps) some core differences. Here there is focus on letting the sensation be there, looking at it without any analysis or judgment, don't try to resolve any issues please. Just look at the sensation like a scientist studies a new rare type of butterfly, just observe it, what is it made of? Let it wash over you.

Did you get to do the emotional exercise? You can pick any thought that triggers an emotion you can safely handle.
Let me know what you found, how did it go?

I noticed a small change in the tone of your response and so I recalled that you probably started your retreat?
If you can't focus on this, why not finish your retreat first, and come back when you're done?

love
Ron

[Veronique]

Good morning Ron,

Thank you for your message, you are right I also notice that I was less focused yesterday. Thank you for being so sensitive. You are right the retreat started and a lot was going on. But what you told me yesterday about sensations and offering surrender to them, it was very much with me during the day. I really really like the work we are doing together and would like to continue, it make sense especially now that I can take time to be with it and explore.

Does fear come up during your inquiry?

No I don't think fear come from or during my inquiry, or I am not aware of it.

When you are looking at experience?

Yes more when I look at experience like :
Last two weeks I had almost no clients and fear comes that nobody will come again.
Or I have to speak in front of the group, like I did yesterday and I can feel fear too when the attention of everyone is on me.

My guiding is focused on the illusion that creates the separate self, we look behind the scenes how this self seems to be manufactured and by revealing it as an experimental process, the illusion is exposed. There will be flip-flopping between feeling like a self, and the loss of that sticky identity, the clarity of just this being, life, everything, no-thing.

Yes, it exactly like that, a sense of identity appear, and then "I" see that all is appearing and is impersonal. It is direct

Having fears about lack, or of being alone can still take place if the self illusion is seen through, all the deep wounds, traumas and pains are playing their patterns as always and will need to be worked on.
We can explore this if you like after this inquiry is fulfilled.

Yes, this make sense, this is also what they say at the retreat, and yes I would love to explore after this inquiry is fulfilled, if ok for you ?

Very nice, I am a therapist and I often do that with my clients, meeting the little boy or girl they have been and give them love attention whatever they need.
Yes, the idea is somewhat similar but there are (perhaps) some core differences. Here there is focus on letting the sensation be there, looking at it without any analysis or judgment, don't try to resolve any issues please. Just look at the sensation like a scientist studies a new rare type of butterfly, just observe it, what is it made of? Let it wash over you.

Ok I understand the difference, no story, just the sensation as it is.

Did you get to do the emotional exercise? You can pick any thought that triggers an emotion you can safely handle.
Let me know what you found, how did it go?

Yes, I did the exercice a few time yesterday. I can see that when I have a thought like for example : "what are they thinking of me ?" a contraction happen in the plexus, I watch it, first it is tight and by seing it it becomes less tight. It goes up in the throat, I look at it again and slowly it vanishes." Looking at it with no intention makes it fade.
I will go on doing it during the day and after...

I noticed a small change in the tone of your response and so I recalled that you probably started your retreat?
If you can't focus on this, why not finish your retreat first, and come back when you're done?

Like I said before it is true, also because I was helping at the kitchen. I will have more time from now on :)

With love,
Véronique

[Ronaldo]

Hello dear Véronique,

Thank you for your reply, sounds like you're enjoying the retreat, if you have time, please share some details, like what you do during the day, where is it, any COVID restrictions, and how is the food? :)

We're going to take it easy while you're there, ok?

No I don't think fear come from or during my inquiry, or I am not aware of it.

Good!

Yes more when I look at experience like :
Last two weeks I had almost no clients and fear comes that nobody will come again.
Or I have to speak in front of the group, like I did yesterday and I can feel fear too when the attention of everyone is on me.

Let's clarify again what we mean by looking and experience.
1) Looking is always done right now, at this very moment, e.g. it cannot be based on memory or future thought.
2) it’s being aware of sound, taste, smell, sensation and colors (images) to see what is really present - actual experience.
3) In addition to these sense perceptions, we are also noticing thoughts - not thinking, but noticing all thoughts as they appear. Thought content will pull you away from looking directly, but by continuous and steady looking you will can unveil the trick they play in creating the illusion of an "I".
When you are experiencing the content of thoughts, there can be no looking, there is the thought content, an imagined reality. That is why this inquiry can never ever be achieved via thinking and learning, and that is also why the long and winding spiritual seeking effort is mostly futile.

It's very important to see that the content of thought - the story/images/sounds they tell is not a real but an imagined experience. You cannot eat the thought of breakfast, can't drink a glass of imaginary water or taste the word "sour". The thought is there, the object isn't.

When I asked if the fear arises looking at experience, what I meant was looking at the above, not the thoughts.

Please experiment with this a bit:
Do you drink coffee? If not choose any other drink.
First do this all in imagination, take an imaginary cup of hot coffee, really get into it. Feel the warmth, the weight, smell the imaginary coffee, take an imaginary sip... mmmmmm! so good.... :)
Now take a real cup of coffee and just focus on the sensation of the hot cup, smell the coffee, sip and feel the hot liquid in your mouth, the taste, and swallow.

Is the imaginary coffee comparable to the real?
Can you be satisfied with the imaginary coffee?
Is it just poor memory or there is a clear undeniable difference?

Yes, I did the exercice a few time yesterday. I can see that when I have a thought like for example : "what are they thinking of me ?" a contraction happen in the plexus, I watch it, first it is tight and by seing it it becomes less tight. It goes up in the throat, I look at it again and slowly it vanishes." Looking at it with no intention makes it fade.
I will go on doing it during the day and after...

Excellent, yes, sometimes one sensations will turn into another, or the thought story will start at something and travel to something very different, you can just go with it, let it expand, let it wash you clean.


What is the cause of the stress or anxiety? Is it really the situation?
- what will they think of me?
- I'm lonely
- I'm not worthy
- nobody will come for treatment
First notice that the thought story is taken to be reality, it's believed without putting it to the test,
this is why I'd like you to do the above exercise on coffee, maybe also try it before you bite into your morning baguette etc.

OK, I said we'll go light, so I'll stop here for now.

With love
Ron

[Veronique]

Good morning Ron,

Thank you for your reply, sounds like you're enjoying the retreat, if you have time, please share some details, like what you do during the day, where is it, any COVID restrictions, and how is the food? :)

Thank you again !!!! it is nice to go on with our emails during this time too and light is good :)

I am in the south of France, it is beautiful, near to the sea, we can eat outside spring is there. We are 23 (I think) and we meet twice a day to speak about non duality. We shared, a bit like we do, about what is real for real :) about sensations like I told you yesterday, and mainly about who we are. It is obvious to me at the moment that everything is just happening and that there is no me. The observer and what is being observed is one, no separation, it is simultaneous. No way to understand it mentaly, it is. Very simple nothing special. So we explore during the day, ask questions, and taste what is here.

We all cook one after the other, to make is less expensive. Regarding Covid, I did not speak with everyone here about it, but most of us believe that Covid is not as dangerous as it is said. Yes it can be dangerous for some people at risk, and a few others, but mostly with a good immune system it is ok. I feel that way, I don't want to cut myself from the world because of a virus, and I also understand people who are afraid and I then respect distance in that situation. What a strange thing we all have to go through. And you ? how do you feel about it ? and where do you come from ?

When I asked if the fear arises looking at experience, what I meant was looking at the above, not the thoughts.

Thank you for the explanation above (I did not copy it all) :) it is true I only gave you an explanation. What I understand is that you are speaking about the direct experience of fear ? And if so what I can add to it, from my memory, when fear arise there is a physical impact, like the solar plexus contracts, tension on the shoulders appear, I stop breathing, thoughts appears more quickly trying to find solutions... But I will observe for real and will tell you next time more accurately.

Is the imaginary coffee comparable to the real?
Can you be satisfied with the imaginary coffee?
Is it just poor memory or there is a clear undeniable difference?

It is very difficult to put in words the difference. When I think about the imaginary drink, all kind of sensations appear, like water in the mouth, I can almost feel the cup on my fingers, everything is almost like.... but the real drink in my mouth is different, swallowing is different with a real liquid, touching is different with a real cup, I have no words but it is real. hmmmm how to say that?

What is the cause of the stress or anxiety? Is it really the situation?

It is just imaginary there is no reality in it, and at the same time thoughts have a little bit the taste of reality and it is what makes it confusing. I will go on exploring.

First notice that the thought story is taken to be reality, it's believed without putting it to the test,
this is why I'd like you to do the above exercise on coffee, maybe also try it before you bite into your morning baguette etc.

Ok I understand the point, I will do the exercice today before I eat or drink. Thanks !

Have a lovely day.
Véronique

[Ronaldo]

Hello Véronique,
This sounds like a very pleasent retreat, it has been so long since I went anywhere, I noticed having more thoughts about travel coming up lately, maybe something will happen :)

It is obvious to me at the moment that everything is just happening and that there is no me. The observer and what is being observed is one, no separation, it is simultaneous. No way to understand it mentaly, it is. Very simple nothing special. So we explore during the day, ask questions, and taste what is here.

wonderful!

Regarding the fear question, some people get fearful when looking at their direct experience (yes, just observing sensations, sounds, sights etc). Sounds like you don't have this issue, so no need to go there unless it arises.

R: What is the cause of the stress or anxiety? Is it really the situation?

V: It is just imaginary there is no reality in it, and at the same time thoughts have a little bit the taste of reality and it is what makes it confusing. I will go on exploring.

Right, say you need to speak in public, or you meet a group of new people. Nothing is wrong with the simplicity of the situation itself, it is the thoughts about the situation that seem to generate an emotional reaction - sensations tagged as uncomfortable and even more thoughts about future problems.

but the real drink in my mouth is different, swallowing is different with a real liquid, touching is different with a real cup, I have no words but it is real. hmmmm how to say that?

Right, no words can describe experience, all words are tags to point to something real, they themselves are not. If you constantly live in the thought you are virtually missing life, all you see is this thick layer of explanation and tags on top of what is there. If you get a chance to walk in nature, see if you can look at everything sans the tagging, can yuo look at a tree without the label "tree"?

OK, enjoy your day!
Ron

[Veronique]

Dear Ron,

I am back home, the last three days where very intense.
During the retreat I could see almost all of the time that everything is just coming and going and nothing is personal. Only stories but no-one to whom all this is happening. But yesterday when I got back home, the friend with whom I was travelling made some remarks about me, and I could see how I could quickly go back into a fight. It took 24 hours to see through the whole story. Now I am very tired but not struggling anymore.

I did the exercice about stopping labeling and it was very interesting. I will keep on exploring. Looking at the tree with no thoughts is just like everything else, nothing, not separate, sometimes it feels like if there is only two dimension.

I am not very long tonight, will be back tomorrow.

Have a nice evening,
Véronique

[Ronaldo]

Hello dear Véronique,
Glad you made it safely home, and thanks for the note.

Looking at the tree with no thoughts is just like everything else, nothing, not separate, sometimes it feels like if there is only two dimension.

Beautiful! Is there a sense of me the subject and an object out there?

yesterday when I got back home, the friend with whom I was travelling made some remarks about me, and I could see how I could quickly go back into a fight.

L'enfer c'est les autres :)

Let's investigate this, shell we?
First, any time resistance, stress or mental discomfort comes up, it's a clear sign that you’re believing something untrue, an untrue thought. In reality, there is nothing ever wrong, wrong is an interpretation.
Can you clearly see this?

So when that suffering comes up, it is a sign for you to question the thought and look behind it. That moment of suffering is caused by the thought about the world, and not by the world itself.
Right?

And what about the judgment, the remarks made by your friend? Why are they painful?
What is under the need to be liked or loved or appreciated?
Is it actually what they think about you, that is the problem? Or is it what YOU think that THEY think about you which is the problem?
Are you not reflecting your own beliefs on other people?
Are you not taking everything they do or say and transforming it into your view of what they say and do?
Could these be beliefs you have about yourself, beliefs you don't want anyone to ever know?

So notice carefully, is she to blame for making a nasty remark?
Who is actually judging you?


much love,
Ron