The Gate

**More awareness OF this thought as opposed to tastinG, sorry

Welcome back Tei!

basically what i noticed is that whilst drinking the coffee (in my case water), the thought of some Tei (my face) was there and there more awareness if this thought as opposed to tastin
So, the direct experience of drinking/looking/touching the cup/ was muddled up by thoughts.

Thank you for your honesty and descriptiveness!

Ok - so you mentioned that the whole experience was "muddled up by thoughts". What that was is just THOUGHT CONTENT. These are all the stories that just pop up.

What we're trying to do here is to go DIRECTLY to ACTUAL EXPERIENCE. So you ignore the stories and just describe the experience that way. I'll give you an example.

I can notice my fingers moving on a keyboard.

Let's put aside the THOUGHT CONTENT - for example - "this is my keyboard", "this feels nice", "the keyboard is black", "I'd like some coffee". The stories are not important here.

Let's go directly into the experience.

Without THOUGHT CONTENT there is only image/color, smell, sensation, taste, sound, thought (not its content - only the fact that it is happening).

With those descriptors in mind - I write down what happens in ACTUAL EXPERIENCE:

I see my keyboard = image/color
I notice the weight of the individual keys = sensation
I can hear typing = sound
A thought "the keyboard is nice" comes up = thought

Then I drink some tea:

I taste the tea = taste
I notice the warmth of the cup = sensation

________________

Please just write down 3 examples of your choosing - using the method above.

If you have any questions about this exercise - please let me know.

Enjoy!

Adam

Hey, sorry for not responding earlier, was really busy with school and wanted to wait so i could really be focued on what we're doing here (I'll let you know next time if i am not able to respond in 3 days, sorry for that also).

Yes, so i did it again and yeah basically there are - thoughts happening on their own, but if i just focus on the typing right now for example there is just typing (if i really focus on it, otherwise it seems like there is only thinking about typing). So, thoughts are something "dead" ( i dont know how to describe it better) and direct experience is something living.
I

And the same was for any experience, whether i was listening to the sound of the keyboard or whether i was feeling the sensation of the keyboard - direct experience = something actual; thought = something "not living", almost like an illusion and it also makes no sense where these thoughts are because with the keyboard, i can point on them, and sounds seem to be emanating somewhere from the keys, but thoughts, i cannot point to them - almost like a mirag, a dream.

Welcome back Tei!
It's wonderful to hear back from you! Don't worry - I have all the time in the world!

First I need to lovingly stop you here. This whole inquiry is experiential and I'm glad that you are very open and honest about it. We cannot however jump into theories of something being either "dead" or "living" or what thoughts ultimately are. Mind is very limited and nobody knows anything by going there. It is only by looking from actual experience - without going into any thought stories - that we can SEE what is real and always here. Concepts or analogies (metaphors) can help but will not be the real thing.

We need to take it step by step and then it will hopefully become clearer and clearer. The process is based on exercises which help us look on our experience from a new perspective.

In order to SEE what's real - we need to follow those exercises - which were created for a specific purpose and are very helpful.

Don't worry Tei - all doubts will eventually fall away. Just please follow my friendly guidance.

I will post the exercise below. Please follow it. Do it the same way that is shown.

___________________________________________________________________________

What we're trying to do here is to go DIRECTLY to ACTUAL EXPERIENCE. So you ignore the stories and just describe the experience that way. I'll give you an example.

I can notice my fingers moving on a keyboard.

Let's put aside the THOUGHT CONTENT - for example - "this is my keyboard", "this feels nice", "the keyboard is black", "I'd like some coffee". The stories are not important here.

Let's go directly into the experience.

Without THOUGHT CONTENT there is only image/color, smell, sensation, taste, sound, thought (not its content - only the fact that it is happening).

With those descriptors in mind - I write down what happens in ACTUAL EXPERIENCE:

I see my keyboard = image/color
I notice the weight of the individual keys = sensation
I can hear typing = sound
A thought "the keyboard is nice" comes up = thought

Then I drink some tea:

I taste the tea = taste
I notice the warmth of the cup = sensation

________________

Please just write down 3 examples of your choosing - using the method above.

Thank you for your understanding. If any doubts arise - please let me know!

Sending love,

Adam

Also I'd like to add that thoughts seem to come from nowhere and it's a very nice observation. Thank you once again for your honesty!

Adam

Ohh ok, so i think i didn't quite understand the exercise in the beginning and am still not sure if I do but hopefully I do.

So, the exercise:
I can hear the sound of my computer noise = sound
A thought about a song i heard earlier/song playing in my head = thought
Pain in the stomach = sensation

Tei

Very good! That's it!

So now - to solidify this understanding - I have a pleasant exercise for you.

Just go for a 20-30 minute walk and notice what comes up.

When a thought comes in - simply notice A THOUGHT, when a sound comes in simply notice A SOUND.

The same with sensation, smell etc

Let me know how it went!

Thank you and rock on!

Adam

Ok, so here is how it went. It was pretty hard. I tried noting smeel, sensation and thought but i ended up thinking "am i doing this right/noting it right?" A lot of the time.

It also felt like I didnt know who was switching between sense doors (sight, sound, smell,...) And i had the feeling that I had to switch between the sense doors at my own pace because if i just let it happen on its own accord, it's too quick for me to note and i end up thinking "damn, missed that note" and then the thing just turned into a mess.

Hello Tei,

Everything becomes clearer further into this inquiry.

Let's concentrate on Direct Experience and Thought Content some more.

Here's a perfect exercise for you:

Have a look at an apple. If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise.
https://unsplash.com/photos/gDPaDDy6_WE
When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought
saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.
What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Direct Experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just
more thought. Direct Experience is sound, thought, colour, smell, taste, sensation.

1. Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only colour and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?
2. Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual
experience.

This is what is meant by ‘looking in actual experience ‘. What you know for sure, and, is
always here.
Taste labelled ‘apple’ is known
Colour labelled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labelled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labelled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known
However, is an apple actually known?

Please look into it and answer the questions in a blue font color. Thank you!

Adam

1. Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only colour and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

No, there is no apple here because "apple" is just a thought (a 5-letter word/a thought ABOUT the real apple) which is SUPERIMPOSED upon the ACTUAL apple. So, there is only the ACTUAL what we call "apple" there on the table and THAT (the color of it) is the direct experience.

2. Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

Ok, so the THOUGHT of an apple can be experienced (when awareness "shines" on it), but the thought is obviously not the same as the ACTUAL apple. Is this what you are trying to make me see?

Taste labelled ‘apple’ is known
Colour labelled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labelled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labelled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known
However, is an apple actually known?

To know something I have to DIRECTLY experience it, whether that be taste, touch, seeing, ... something OBVIOUS and, well, direct. Can i know a thought of an apple? What do i know about it? The only thing that i can "know" about it, is if i think ABOUT the apple which is just more thought ABOUT thought (endless mental cycle, reserved for philosophers). But even that isn't really "knowledge" then, it's just more mental brainwashing that i was learned in school/by parents.
So in short, i can only become AWARE of the thought "apple" (whether that be a 5 letter word apple, or the thought of the juicy, red apple) so in that sense the thought can be known but the thought content cannot.
Same with taste, if you are eating an ice cream of chocolate and vanilla, the only thing making the separation and calling one "vanilla" and one "chocolate" is the THOUGHT CONTENT. However, there is only TASTE happening.

Am I going in the right direction with this or have i completely missed the point?

Tei

Oh also, I just wanted to say that I think what was making me frustrated was that when i try to DIRECTLY experience something (for example LOOKING at something), thoughts AUTOMATICALLY come up.
So, let's say I'm looking at an apple. Even if i want to just DIRECTLY see the COLOUR of the apple, the thought comes up ABOUT the apple. Am i supposed to "relax" into the ACTUAL seeing and not let thought interfere?

Ok! Let me gear up and let's rock and roll!

No, there is no apple here because "apple" is just a thought (a 5-letter word/a thought ABOUT the real apple) which is SUPERIMPOSED upon the ACTUAL apple. So, there is only the ACTUAL what we call "apple" there on the table and THAT (the color of it) is the direct experience.

Exactly! There is just the WHOLE IMAGE seen. No "things" that can be distinguished in Direct Experience (aside from thought story).

Ok, so the THOUGHT of an apple can be experienced (when awareness "shines" on it), but the thought is obviously not the same as the ACTUAL apple. Is this what you are trying to make me see?

That is precisely what I'm trying to make you see! Thought Story will never be the Direct Experience. Thought just separates aspects of the whole to make "things" out of it. Pure illusion!

To know something I have to DIRECTLY experience it, whether that be taste, touch, seeing, ... something OBVIOUS and, well, direct. Can i know a thought of an apple? What do i know about it? The only thing that i can "know" about it, is if i think ABOUT the apple which is just more thought ABOUT thought (endless mental cycle, reserved for philosophers). But even that isn't really "knowledge" then, it's just more mental brainwashing that i was learned in school/by parents.
So in short, i can only become AWARE of the thought "apple" (whether that be a 5 letter word apple, or the thought of the juicy, red apple) so in that sense the thought can be known but the thought content cannot.
Same with taste, if you are eating an ice cream of chocolate and vanilla, the only thing making the separation and calling one "vanilla" and one "chocolate" is the THOUGHT CONTENT. However, there is only TASTE happening.

Am I going in the right direction with this or have i completely missed the point?

That is it! The exact difference between Direct Experience and Thought Content! Great!

Oh also, I just wanted to say that I think what was making me frustrated was that when i try to DIRECTLY experience something (for example LOOKING at something), thoughts AUTOMATICALLY come up.
So, let's say I'm looking at an apple. Even if i want to just DIRECTLY see the COLOUR of the apple, the thought comes up ABOUT the apple. Am i supposed to "relax" into the ACTUAL seeing and not let thought interfere?

We are going to answer that because our next subject of inquiry is going to be the Nature Of Thoughts!

The Nature Of Thoughts

Here is a thought exercise. Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts. Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.

1. Where are they coming from and going to?
2. Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?
3. Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment
instead?
4.Can you predict your next thought?
5. Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts? Maybe think only about kittens or puppies for an entire day?
6. Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
7. Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
8. Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organized sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

Please take your time with this exercise my friend! It is a vital and a very, very strong one!

Thank you for all of your answers!

Keep being awesome!

Sending Love!

Adam

1. Where are they coming from and going to?

They are seemingly coming out of nowhere and going nowhere. This kind of made me realize that thoughts cannot hurt me - even if i have a thought of sadness, pain etc. it's just an empty thought that has no reality.
But then again, i contemplated this one again and came up with some different insights: I only HEARD that "they come out of nowhere and go nowhere" from spiritual teachers. AKA, I'm just mechanically repeating something I heard. The more I THINK about the answer, the more hopeless it gets, because "space" is something I am imagining and so no matter what answer I come up with, it WILL be false. If I say the thought is "left" or "somewhere in the head", this presupposes space which is just an illusion. Also, for a thought to GO somehwere and COME OUT of somewhere, it must have a BEGINNING and an END, which are also just mental concepts.
So, in short, the instrument I am using to get an answer (thought) is not going to help me get the ACTUAL answer. So, I don't think I can answer this question.
If I look in my direct experience, however, again, I cannot say ANYTHING about where it comes from because that would just put me back in the mind.

2. Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?

They happen on their own, but again this is just something I am mentally repeating, it is not a part of actual knowing. The more I THINK about this question, the farther i get from the answer, just like in the previous example.
It seems like thoughts are random BECAUSE AWARENESS is random (it is choiceless) and so awareness goes into a sound, for example a bird chirping, CHOICELESSLY and then a thought ABOUT the bird gets superimposed upon it.
If i say to myself for example "think of a polar bear" it seems like "I" am the one who CAN predict the thought, but upon further examination it seems like the thought of a polar bear appeared BEFORE "I" could even make that statement in my head ("think of a polar bear") but then the one WHO WAS THINKING up the statement "think of a polar bear" seemed to be "me".

3. Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment
instead?

Well that is a rhetorical question, because I cannot go back in time and try changing it but thoughts just seem to appear randomly. "Moment" is something that is in time and time is imaginary so "moment" is just something that is appearing within awareness so no, I cannot change the thought because time doesn't exist and there is no "me" to change anything because Tei is just a thought as well and "change" is also just a thought..

4.Can you predict your next thought?

This is a tough one, basically, i can use the same example used before and what i did was i said to myself in my head "The next thought will be a potato" and boom, a potato appeared in the head. But this was when ATTENTION was going into the thoughts instead of AWARENESS.
When i asked myself, however, "What will the next thought be?", a random thought appeared, so no, there is no way i can predict a thought. But i am not sure of this, i am just speculating here.

5. Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts? Maybe think only about kittens or puppies for an entire day?

No, i can't think about kittens all the time, because some random thought always comes up and steals attention away from the thought of a kitten. You can be aware of the kitten for, say, 5 seconds, but after that a thought comes up. But even being attentive of the thought of a kitten isn't really something "I" am doing right? It is ATTENTION being attentive of the kitten. But, if I go back to the previous example in which I realized that thoughts are happening by themselves, why is it possible for "me" to be attentive of the kitten? Like, if thoughts are happening by themselves, wouldn't that mean that it would take SOME TIME for the kitten to appear in awareness again, and ONLY ONCE it would APPEAR in awareness, only then could attention become attentive of it. However, attention can become attentive of the kitten AGAIN and AGAIN, right after some other thought interrupted this attention to the kitten.

6. Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?

If one becomes some "spiritual weirdo" who puts himself in a trance for 24/7 (if that's even possible), then yeah, but if you are normal, then no, of course not, because they just come up randomly.

7. Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?

I don't think so, because even if you say to yourself "think of a lion", the thought of a lion already randomly appeared before you even said "think of a lion" and so that random appearance of the "lion thought" was the cause for

8. Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

If i say "don't think of a lion", the next thought is a lion, so no. Also, I can't stop thoughts, they just keep occuring whether I like it or not.

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organized sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

The only thing i noticed in terms of the sequence is that, like I said, they seem to be about things that are happening (what awareness becomes aware of) in the room/place you are. So, if there is a computer in the room, there is most likely gonna be a thoughts about a computer. There was also my sister talking to some of her friends and i heard the conversation and the thoughts that were appearing were about my sister and her friends' faces and when my sister would be talking, her face would show up, when someone else, that guy's/girl's face, ...


Also, when I do these exercises, am I supposed to do them throughout the entire day as much as possible or just do it once and wait for your answer? Because there are LOTS of different exercises we have already done and so which one should I be doing?
And I also noticed that it's way easier to observe thoughts if you are FIRST aware of, say, sound or peripheral sight/whole field of vision. I guess that is because when you are aware of some sense door (sight, smell etc.) the thoughts that will come up will be ABOUT these sights, sounds, ... whereas if I am "just observing thoughts", it's MUCH harder because there is no anchor to the present moment (which would in the previous case be sound/sight) and attention just keeps going into thoughts and I have trouble even seeing thoughts.. it's just a mess. And so, in the previous exercise when I had to "note" (seeing, smeeling etc) it was WAY easier to observe thoughts that way and I presume that is the case precisely because of the aforementioned example.
P.S. i think i figured it out, if i place myself in the headspace it seems like thoughts are like a movie, occuring there and so i don't know if that works for others but for me it seems to.

Very well Dear Tei!

After each exercise - I'm going to arm myself with my legendary Zen Stick and poke you here and there. Don't worry - it will only sting for a second! I will just lovingly point to the Truth - picking various sentences from your answers. That's why honesty is so important. It helps us to discover what is untrue and slowly incinerate it in a cleansing fire of liberation!

So - without further ado - let's get dirty, baby!

They are seemingly coming out of nowhere and going nowhere.

Yes! We cannot pinpoint the place of origin or the place where a thought "goes to and vanishes". It just comes and goes automatically.

This kind of made me realize that thoughts cannot hurt me - even if i have a thought of sadness, pain etc. it's just an empty thought that has no reality.

That's a very beautiful point!

It is only when the non-existence of a self becomes more and more apparent - we can finally see that nothing can hurt us or diminish us. Nothing real can be taken away from us, nor be added onto us.

EveryTHING is a concept. As you wrote: "empty thought that has no reality". Without those - what/who can be hurt? Whose sadness or pain is it?

But then again, i contemplated this one again and came up with some different insights: I only HEARD that "they come out of nowhere and go nowhere" from spiritual teachers. AKA, I'm just mechanically repeating something I heard

I admire this approach. There is a saying: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him". It means that there is no real authority and we need to seek answers for ourselves. We must question everything and never put ourselves above or beneath anybody.

The more I THINK about the answer, the more hopeless it gets, because "space" is something I am imagining and so no matter what answer I come up with, it WILL be false. If I say the thought is "left" or "somewhere in the head", this presupposes space which is just an illusion. Also, for a thought to GO somewhere and COME OUT of somewhere, it must have a BEGINNING and an END, which are also just mental concepts.
So, in short, the instrument I am using to get an answer (thought) is not going to help me get the ACTUAL answer. So, I don't think I can answer this question.
If I look in my direct experience, however, again, I cannot say ANYTHING about where it comes from because that would just put me back in the mind.

Fair enough. We cannot use the thought story to put us in Direct Experience. There is however a space - which originates from SEEING our ACTUAL EXPERIENCE (not going into thinking). We just go Directly there.

Imagine you are in a room. You've never heard of a forest before (wild, huh?). Somebody tells you a story about it. You can either fantasize about the story (thought content) or go outside and into the forest to SEE IT DIRECTLY.

They happen on their own, but again this is just something I am mentally repeating, it is not a part of actual knowing. The more I THINK about this question, the farther i get from the answer, just like in the previous example.
It seems like thoughts are random BECAUSE AWARENESS is random (it is choiceless) and so awareness goes into a sound, for example a bird chirping, CHOICELESSLY and then a thought ABOUT the bird gets superimposed upon it.
If i say to myself for example "think of a polar bear" it seems like "I" am the one who CAN predict the thought, but upon further examination it seems like the thought of a polar bear appeared BEFORE "I" could even make that statement in my head ("think of a polar bear") but then the one WHO WAS THINKING up the statement "think of a polar bear" seemed to be "me".

1. When you "say something to yourself" - what really happens? Is there a "you" talking? Or is it ALL just thought content?

You wrote that thought seemingly comes from nowhere and goes into unknown territory and we can't think about it - because it leads us further away from the truth.
2. Can you tell if a thought is "in your head?" or "in your foot?" or "inside/outside"?
3. Can you really make a statement? What happens when an apparent "you" makes a statement? Where - aside from thought - is that "me"? Somebody who's able to "make something"?
4. Who was "thinking up the statement"? If thoughts appear spontaneously - is there any effort made by anybody to think?

I agree about "superimposed thought". Thinking process is like a labelling machine. It creates apparent "things" by giving them names and meaning. It puts "stickers" on those seemingly real concepts. Concepts which can almost feel genuine. Like "you" or "me" or "a tree" or "awareness".

I know I put a lot of questions here. I'm just trying to help you SEE in DIRECT EXPERIENCE - what is here - every single moment. We are trying to find "one that is thinking". Is he there or not? When does he/she show up? Is there a board meeting where time stops and thinking happens?

Well that is a rhetorical question, because I cannot go back in time and try changing it but thoughts just seem to appear randomly. "Moment" is something that is in time and time is imaginary so "moment" is just something that is appearing within awareness so no, I cannot change the thought because time doesn't exist and there is no "me" to change anything because Tei is just a thought as well and "change" is also just a thought..

Ok. Very well.

This is a tough one, basically, i can use the same example used before and what i did was i said to myself in my head "The next thought will be a potato" and boom, a potato appeared in the head. But this was when ATTENTION was going into the thoughts instead of AWARENESS.
When i asked myself, however, "What will the next thought be?", a random thought appeared, so no, there is no way i can predict a thought. But i am not sure of this, i am just speculating here.

5. Who said that "the next thought will be a potato?" Aside from thought - did anyone appear? Or was it just a thought?

6. When i asked myself, however, "What will the next thought be?"

7. Who asked who? Where - aside from thought - is that person?

No, i can't think about kittens all the time, because some random thought always comes up and steals attention away from the thought of a kitten. You can be aware of the kitten for, say, 5 seconds, but after that a thought comes up. But even being attentive of the thought of a kitten isn't really something "I" am doing right? It is ATTENTION being attentive of the kitten. But, if I go back to the previous example in which I realized that thoughts are happening by themselves, why is it possible for "me" to be attentive of the kitten? Like, if thoughts are happening by themselves, wouldn't that mean that it would take SOME TIME for the kitten to appear in awareness again, and ONLY ONCE it would APPEAR in awareness, only then could attention become attentive of it. However, attention can become attentive of the kitten AGAIN and AGAIN, right after some other thought interrupted this attention to the kitten.

Don't worry my dear friend - we will cover attention later. I can see that you agree - from Direct Experience - that we cannot choose to have only a certain thought/thoughts with us. There is always another thought - which pops up - out of nowhere.

If one becomes some "spiritual weirdo" who puts himself in a trance for 24/7 (if that's even possible), then yeah, but if you are normal, then no, of course not, because they just come up randomly.

Point being - if that is even possible! Exactly!

I don't think so, because even if you say to yourself "think of a lion", the thought of a lion already randomly appeared before you even said "think of a lion" and so that random appearance of the "lion thought" was the cause for

You can see this happening all the time. Some random thought pops up and we might speak it out loud. Somebody can compliment us on our "good thinking" but - since you are not the one "doing the thinking" - is there anything to be complimented for?

It is similar to somebody approaching a random person and complimenting that person for the sky being clear.

If i say "don't think of a lion", the next thought is a lion, so no. Also, I can't stop thoughts, they just keep occuring whether I like it or not.

Very nice!

The only thing i noticed in terms of the sequence is that, like I said, they seem to be about things that are happening (what awareness becomes aware of) in the room/place you are. So, if there is a computer in the room, there is most likely gonna be a thoughts about a computer. There was also my sister talking to some of her friends and i heard the conversation and the thoughts that were appearing were about my sister and her friends' faces and when my sister would be talking, her face would show up, when someone else, that guy's/girl's face, ...

And you have no control over that either! That's it!

Also, when I do these exercises, am I supposed to do them throughout the entire day as much as possible or just do it once and wait for your answer? Because there are LOTS of different exercises we have already done and so which one should I be doing?

Do them on your terms. The goal of those exercises is to make you SEE certain aspects from Direct Experience and dismantle any beliefs (repeated thoughts) that still linger.

Do only the exercises from the section that is currently being talked about. So - for example - we've just finished the exercise that gave us the distinction between Thought Content and Direct Experience. When you SEE it clearly from Direct Experience - we move on to the next aspect of inquiry (for example "nature of thoughts"). If however - you have ANY doubts about the previous "section" - let me know - and we will do some more exercises from that "chapter". Only then we will return to the current one or advance further.

Also, when I do these exercises, am I supposed to do them throughout the entire day as much as possible or just do it once and wait for your answer? Because there are LOTS of different exercises we have already done and so which one should I be doing?
And I also noticed that it's way easier to observe thoughts if you are FIRST aware of, say, sound or peripheral sight/whole field of vision. I guess that is because when you are aware of some sense door (sight, smell etc.) the thoughts that will come up will be ABOUT these sights, sounds, ... whereas if I am "just observing thoughts", it's MUCH harder because there is no anchor to the present moment (which would in the previous case be sound/sight) and attention just keeps going into thoughts and I have trouble even seeing thoughts.. it's just a mess. And so, in the previous exercise when I had to "note" (seeing, smeeling etc) it was WAY easier to observe thoughts that way and I presume that is the case precisely because of the aforementioned example.
P.S. i think i figured it out, if i place myself in the headspace it seems like thoughts are like a movie, occuring there and so i don't know if that works for others but for me it seems to.

We will get into that also - after this section is seen. Let's not put too much on ourselves at one time! Don't worry dear Tei!

Take your time with the answers. If you have doubts about Direct Experience (previous exercise) - let me know.
Just look aside from Thought Content and tell me (honestly) - what you see. No rush, no sweat!

I know there are many questions posted here so - if you like - you can just divide it into small sections. Whatever you like my friend.

Stay awesome and eat your veggies!

Adam