The Gate

This is it, you're looking right at it. Keep looking at this, and explain it some more. Was there ever a you? What was the trigger in seeing this? Now that you see this, what has changed?

I don't know if was ever a you, only the people I know they percieved me like that, like 'me'. Shure before I knew this I thought that was a me... but more like an external events shaped 'persona', not actually ME.

The trigger in seeing what? That I am not me?... well I analized LOGICALLY from the neutral perspective like one that is observing the content of a life... (BigBrother ring a bell?) and is like a movie, not a real person per se, and I applied that to me, first it was a little freaky because I was analysing the content of 'myself', but at the same time was liberating because I knew I was des-idenfiying with this 'actor' as 'me', haha it's ridiculous!

What had changed is that I am starting to feel like an impostor, playing a role I don't want to. And all the 'other people' too, though this do not saddens me, because I let go of trying to control whatever people want to do with their lifes. It's like playing a role I know I am not, at the same time I'm more withdraw with people in general call; it close familiars, sometimes friends and acquaintances... but this time I don't feel bad like before because it was as a past yearn for approval, now I feel Neutral and balanced, centered, wow this is good!, and this is beautiful from my perspective.

Altough they sometimes doesn't seem to notice me, (when I don't want it) like I'm a gosht and I feel DIABOLICAL, muwhaha like a superpower or something, but, at the same time at will my prescence is more... intimidating? strong? I think... I sense in people a little bit more like courious and in the mean time, like... they want something from me, I don't know what it is but I can sense they view me different. Don't assimilate the fully scope of their percievings.

Thanks for the response Nemo.

Haha yeah, when this first started to hit me, I felt like a huge impostor too. Everything seemed so inauthentic. Sometimes it still does, but it's okay, there's nobody behind the roles to blame for this, it's just the nature of thought, especially thoughts centred around an "I". So seeing the truth, naturally brings reality closer. Or vice versa.
But you know what? You're not really an impostor playing a role. It's just a role playing itself out. They are all roles just playing themselves out, no one and nothing behind them. It's not really fake because there is no "real you" role that you could play. Do you see?

Alekx. I have one more question for you. How would you explain no-self to someone who had never heard about it before?

How would you explain no-self to someone who had never heard about it before?

It's the process of de-constructing your most cherished and shurely unquestioned beliefs about yourself, it's analizing under the scope of logic and neutrallity, it's about illuminate all the shit you've piled through years and years in your attic about what you think you are, and start trowing to the trash the shit that is useless, and in the end you will find everything that has been stored there is completely useless.

So, the question you may ask to you is... What do you define You as you? and then slice the motherfucking untrue shit, until it hurts in your soul. It's also a way of seeing and questioning all that you know that is true you in your daily life about yourself. No self also is dropping the role in which you may acting, because in the end there is none acting, it's just life happening. You are no different of a squirrel if you want it see it that way, you cannot control your breathing nor the squirrel can, because this furry little bastard lives in total harmony with the universe, and because this fucker do not resist of what it is, and if he don't find a nut... he don't label bad, to the convenience or thankfullness of a personage who is in favor or versus the event... so you can if you remove the illusion of control and more important the illusion of 'YOU' over yourself in the inside and in the outside world (the same shit), and let the universe decide what's best for you, because, if you check it right know you cannot control it. You can decide if it fits you; still acting the role or not, or change role, or no role whatshoever. Would you be my squirrel?

No self is the natural deprogrammed state like when you are born, it's like a brand new computer with the operating system, but a hard disk that only works as a RAM memory (I know so fucking GEEK!) but hey that's what analogies are form... because it is not imprisioned by the bonds of beliefs about yourself you got accumulating trough your daily life and reinforced by the 'external' world, AND it's about letting go the emotions that are tied to this fictional character named 'you', really it's about leting go of yourself it's about letting go of everything you know as fact, because life it will take care of itself if you have the right intent. No self it's the unification with life itself, it's the way allways has been.

It's like getting out of your way in some way, because the person's 'ego' is blocking the energy that it's contained in all this 'magnificient theather' of being alive, that is just one thing, not separated shit. I don't know when it ends the no-self it's infinite, it's self contained, being the tyniest micro part the thing containing quarks or the more macro galaxies you know of in books, the scary thing is that it never ends not inside or outside, it never was, it is what it is, it's called reallity and YOU are reallity.

Really nice work Alekx.