I’m having too much fun with all of this to put it off. I’m doing this exercise right now. ☺
YOU: When do thoughts telling what to do appear: Before, during or after action started.
At various times. Sometimes before, sometimes during, sometimes after – often not at all. For example, I’m noticing all kinds of other actions going on while I’m doing this exercise that I’m not thinking about: I scratched my neck with my other hand. I bent my knees, etc. I was focused on the hand – so, not thinking about these other actions. They clearly happen without my thinking about them. Then the thought jumps in, “I was thinking about it in the background, I just wasn’t paying attention to those thoughts.” Nope. Just another thought trying to claim ownership after the fact. It’s INSANELY HABITUAL to claim ownership of everything. I can imagine that it takes up most of my time.
YOU: How is the movement controlled?
No idea. It’s like I’m a puppet. It’s kind of creepy, actually.
YOU: Does a thought control it?
The thought attaches itself to the action – tries to convince me that they have to go together. But they clearly don’t (she types as she lets go of her lip – which she didn’t ever decide to grab…).
YOU: Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
Other than the one who claims the action in the content of thought, no. Santa Clause is turning my hand over. No really, just ask him. ☺
YOU: How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.
There isn’t any real way to track how the decision is made. It’s just made. (Which, btw, frustrates the shit out of my mind – it would like an answer, please…)
YOU: Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
It just happened that the right hand turned over. Presumably because I’m right handed – but no decision was made as it relates to me be right handed. No decision was made. I don't know why the right hand was chosen or what chose it.
YOU: Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?
It's not me - because it's not in DE. Since the separate individual exists as a concept in thoughts I can’t make the decision. Who would make the decision? What thought could make another thought? So if it isn't me, I don't know what it is.
I am experiencing all of this, and at the same time there is still a very strong individual identification going on. Whatever I really am isn’t yet clear – I’m just starting to grasp a little about what I’m not – what is the illusion, the distraction, the confusion. I know this individual identification is still very strong because I’m sitting here watching waves of fear (thoughts and some physical sensations) about how if everything is random, and I’m not in control, then I’m absolutely vulnerable to being hurt or killed. Life does not play any favorites and it doesn’t appear to have any preference of a pleasant experience over an absolutely horrific one – and I know very well that I can get smashed at any moment. I can see intellectually that the idea of me is the only thing that can be hurt – but because I don’t really understand what else there is yet, the fear is still there.
I’m assuming that what you wrote about “less going in circles” will apply to any "horrific" experiences like this – that the ability to ride them out or to die a horribly painful death, even, is lightened by not suffering over stories ON TOP OF whatever is actually happening.
Funny that I’m making some good progress and then all of this comes jamming up to the surface, eh? ;)
I'm curious
Re: I'm curious
Yeah, it is quite stunning to find that the I isn't the decider or doer. In the story of course it is, but only in the story.
There is no need to embrace it with "Oh wow, finally!"
For Fear to appear in this investigation is quite common. It is not all fun, though it is, too, it is a bit threatening, too. It threatens beliefs, the story, all the stories and of course, all identifications which are around.
It is ok.
Physical sensation + colour/form (the body)+ thought (label) - Yes.
What to do with fear? The only thing to do is to embrace it.
Embrace it, let it be and just love it like a mother loves her child. No need to fight anything.
There is still some more we look at together and understanding will deepen.
For the rest of the day and the next days have a keen eye on when thought tells about what to do/not to do/what to think or not. Always check if it is before, during or after. If it is before does action follow thought? Only look, don't tell yourself that self is only a character in a story and can't do anything, look.
Ah, and check of explanations offered in thoughts' content always make sense......
Come back and share what you found.
Love
Jadzia
There is no need to embrace it with "Oh wow, finally!"
For Fear to appear in this investigation is quite common. It is not all fun, though it is, too, it is a bit threatening, too. It threatens beliefs, the story, all the stories and of course, all identifications which are around.
It is ok.
What is emotion in DE?I know this individual identification is still very strong because I’m sitting here watching waves of fear (thoughts and some physical sensations)....
Physical sensation + colour/form (the body)+ thought (label) - Yes.
What to do with fear? The only thing to do is to embrace it.
Embrace it, let it be and just love it like a mother loves her child. No need to fight anything.
Yes, it doesn't.Life does not play any favorites
There is still some more we look at together and understanding will deepen.
For the rest of the day and the next days have a keen eye on when thought tells about what to do/not to do/what to think or not. Always check if it is before, during or after. If it is before does action follow thought? Only look, don't tell yourself that self is only a character in a story and can't do anything, look.
Ah, and check of explanations offered in thoughts' content always make sense......
Come back and share what you found.
Love
Jadzia
Re: I'm curious
It appears that action often follows thought – but not at all necessarily. Most of the time there is a constant running commentary in my mind that has very little to do with what is actually happening. Right now I’m sitting here on my bed typing on my laptop. What I’m thinking about is all of the work I have to do and the practice I need to get done today… There is a very clear list of directives in my head (prep the canvas for my next painting, put away the olives and crackers, go to the pool hall and practice drills, etc.), but my body isn’t cooperating with any of them. My body just sits here on the bed and types. And it eats the occasional pretzel crisp and olive. So much for actions being controlled by decisions/thoughts.
This happens constantly. There is a story about why things are happening, or what I should be doing, or the meaning of what I am doing, etc. Not only are the thoughts way more complicated than what is actually happening (I’m literally just a body sitting here typing…), they aren’t necessarily even connected at all.
For example, right now I'm thinking about a man I have a crush on, which makes me wonder whether or not he might be also attracted to me, which leads to a story about him and why he would/wouldn’t be attracted to me – which leads to a diatribe about how it doesn’t matter anyway because we’re both married and nothing can happen and on and on and on… It’s all a bunch of blather that attempts to keep me terrified that I’m getting old and I’ll never be seen as attractive again (or at least that's the thought of the moment about why this story is running). None of this is related to anything that is actually happening (except the aging part – definitely happening…) – but my mind is fully occupied with it while my body just sits here on the bed breathing and typing. The two things are totally unrelated.
During my match last night I would make a decision about which shot to shoot and how to execute it, and much of the time that action would follow – but there were often times when it wouldn’t. What I thought I “should” do – and what actually happened - were sometimes quite different. It isn’t that I didn’t know how to do what I wanted to do – my body would just sometimes not execute it properly. (This is key to making athletes crazy – not being able to execute under certain circumstances when you have the skills in your arsenal).
I didn’t have many nerves again – when they would start to creep up the thought, “You aren’t in control of any of this” would come up, and that would allow me to feel more relaxed again. That is amazing – and if I never get one single other thing out of non-duality I’ll be super grateful for that! ☺ (And, who knows if it will last!?). I can see that there is still an identification as an "I" who is calmed by the thought that it doesn't have control... but at least for now it's a more pleasant story than the one where the I feels like it's all her fault for screwing up.
I just now reached for the water glass and noticed that the thought, “Take a drink of water” didn’t happen until I was already reaching for the glass. That happens a lot. The thoughts happen during or after the action has already started – sometimes just a split second after… but after.
I’ve heard the body referred to as a “Meat Suit” in non-duality literature – and it starts to feel that way when you begin to really notice that you’re not the one moving it. It’s an odd feeling. Also, VERY EXCITING – what the hell is moving it?!
This happens constantly. There is a story about why things are happening, or what I should be doing, or the meaning of what I am doing, etc. Not only are the thoughts way more complicated than what is actually happening (I’m literally just a body sitting here typing…), they aren’t necessarily even connected at all.
For example, right now I'm thinking about a man I have a crush on, which makes me wonder whether or not he might be also attracted to me, which leads to a story about him and why he would/wouldn’t be attracted to me – which leads to a diatribe about how it doesn’t matter anyway because we’re both married and nothing can happen and on and on and on… It’s all a bunch of blather that attempts to keep me terrified that I’m getting old and I’ll never be seen as attractive again (or at least that's the thought of the moment about why this story is running). None of this is related to anything that is actually happening (except the aging part – definitely happening…) – but my mind is fully occupied with it while my body just sits here on the bed breathing and typing. The two things are totally unrelated.
During my match last night I would make a decision about which shot to shoot and how to execute it, and much of the time that action would follow – but there were often times when it wouldn’t. What I thought I “should” do – and what actually happened - were sometimes quite different. It isn’t that I didn’t know how to do what I wanted to do – my body would just sometimes not execute it properly. (This is key to making athletes crazy – not being able to execute under certain circumstances when you have the skills in your arsenal).
I didn’t have many nerves again – when they would start to creep up the thought, “You aren’t in control of any of this” would come up, and that would allow me to feel more relaxed again. That is amazing – and if I never get one single other thing out of non-duality I’ll be super grateful for that! ☺ (And, who knows if it will last!?). I can see that there is still an identification as an "I" who is calmed by the thought that it doesn't have control... but at least for now it's a more pleasant story than the one where the I feels like it's all her fault for screwing up.
I just now reached for the water glass and noticed that the thought, “Take a drink of water” didn’t happen until I was already reaching for the glass. That happens a lot. The thoughts happen during or after the action has already started – sometimes just a split second after… but after.
I’ve heard the body referred to as a “Meat Suit” in non-duality literature – and it starts to feel that way when you begin to really notice that you’re not the one moving it. It’s an odd feeling. Also, VERY EXCITING – what the hell is moving it?!
Re: I'm curious
Isn't it amazing how the story is woven? With so many beliefs, I am the thinker, I am the doer, I am this and that. With all the comments which are thought to influence the story.
Think of a football match. There is a steady comment by someone, commenting on what happened, telling what is a good move, what has been missed, crying "run, do something", judging the action.
Does the comment influence the game? Does it do it at all?
How about the comment commenting on Sarahs every move?
Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.
Love,
Jadzia
Think of a football match. There is a steady comment by someone, commenting on what happened, telling what is a good move, what has been missed, crying "run, do something", judging the action.
Does the comment influence the game? Does it do it at all?
How about the comment commenting on Sarahs every move?
Well, it was a cute idea... ;-)So much for actions being controlled by decisions/thoughts.
Hm. Check for yourself:I’ve heard the body referred to as a “Meat Suit” in non-duality literature – and it starts to feel that way when you begin to really notice that you’re not the one moving it. It’s an odd feeling. Also, VERY EXCITING – what the hell is moving it?!
Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.
Love,
Jadzia
Re: I'm curious
YOU: Can it be known how tall the body is?
No.
YOU: Does the body have a weight or volume?
No.
YOU: In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Not in DE.
YOU: Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Not in DE. Only in the apparent reality.
YOU: Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
There doesn’t seem to be any boundaries between anything.
YOU: Is there an inside or an outside?
Not without visual reference. With visual reference it’s harder to stay connected to the no boundaries experience – thoughts tend to rush in with visual reference. In DE, there isn’t an outside or inside – the world is all one thing.
YOU: If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
N/A
YOU: If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
N/A
YOU: What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
It refers to the tool through which life has experiences – one location of senses through which experiences are processed.
YOU: What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Touch, taste, smell, hearing, seeing – the processing of experience. The processing of life. Literal experiencing. It’s not animated by anything because it isn’t separate from anything that could animate it. It’s the same as this bed and my cats and the air… it’s all one thing.
No.
YOU: Does the body have a weight or volume?
No.
YOU: In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Not in DE.
YOU: Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Not in DE. Only in the apparent reality.
YOU: Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
There doesn’t seem to be any boundaries between anything.
YOU: Is there an inside or an outside?
Not without visual reference. With visual reference it’s harder to stay connected to the no boundaries experience – thoughts tend to rush in with visual reference. In DE, there isn’t an outside or inside – the world is all one thing.
YOU: If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
N/A
YOU: If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
N/A
YOU: What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
It refers to the tool through which life has experiences – one location of senses through which experiences are processed.
YOU: What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Touch, taste, smell, hearing, seeing – the processing of experience. The processing of life. Literal experiencing. It’s not animated by anything because it isn’t separate from anything that could animate it. It’s the same as this bed and my cats and the air… it’s all one thing.
Re: I'm curious
Well done.
I will write an answer tomorrow, I had a very long and wonderful day in the mountains.
Love,
Jadzia
I will write an answer tomorrow, I had a very long and wonderful day in the mountains.
Love,
Jadzia
Re: I'm curious
So body with closed eyes are just sensations and thoughts telling "This is it".
Can it be known that animation is needed? Does there have to be animation of "dead" matter for something to happen?
Can it be known that there is a body? Without thoughts?
Check with an exercise:
1. Close the eyes and hold up one hand. Pay attention only to the felt sensations ‘of the hand’.
2. Open the eyes, and now observe the hand by looking only.
3. While looking at the hand, pay attention to the felt sensations.
Repeat 1 to 3 as many times as needed and investigate…
Normally we believe that the sensation is coming from the sight, the ‘object’ seen (hand).
But if you look, is there any link between the sensation and the sight? In other words, is the sensation ‘coming from’ the sight (labelled as hand) or only thoughts and mental constructs link them?
Can you see that both the ‘visual sight’ and the sensation appear simultaneously but ‘separately’, meaning that none of them is coming from the other or contained by the other?
So they just appear equally, ‘beside’ each other without any hierarchy or link between them?
You can repeat the exercise with all of body parts. For the head you can use a mirror.
The exercise might take some time and take all the time you need.
When you finished the exercise, here is a little video to watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DphlhmtGRqI
Share what you find.
Love,
Jadzia
So true.There doesn’t seem to be any boundaries between anything.
Yes, we are so learned and used to having object and subject, a point of reference.With visual reference it’s harder to stay connected to the no boundaries experience – thoughts tend to rush in with visual reference.
How is it known that body is needed for processing experience or life? Can it be known?Touch, taste, smell, hearing, seeing – the processing of experience. The processing of life. Literal experiencing.
Are you implying that body is the same matter as a cat is made of?It’s not animated by anything because it isn’t separate from anything that could animate it. It’s the same as this bed and my cats and the air… it’s all one thing.
Can it be known that animation is needed? Does there have to be animation of "dead" matter for something to happen?
Can it be known that there is a body? Without thoughts?
Check with an exercise:
1. Close the eyes and hold up one hand. Pay attention only to the felt sensations ‘of the hand’.
2. Open the eyes, and now observe the hand by looking only.
3. While looking at the hand, pay attention to the felt sensations.
Repeat 1 to 3 as many times as needed and investigate…
Normally we believe that the sensation is coming from the sight, the ‘object’ seen (hand).
But if you look, is there any link between the sensation and the sight? In other words, is the sensation ‘coming from’ the sight (labelled as hand) or only thoughts and mental constructs link them?
Can you see that both the ‘visual sight’ and the sensation appear simultaneously but ‘separately’, meaning that none of them is coming from the other or contained by the other?
So they just appear equally, ‘beside’ each other without any hierarchy or link between them?
You can repeat the exercise with all of body parts. For the head you can use a mirror.
The exercise might take some time and take all the time you need.
When you finished the exercise, here is a little video to watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DphlhmtGRqI
Share what you find.
Love,
Jadzia
Re: I'm curious
Will do - thanks very much! Glad you were able to be in the mountains. It's my favorite place to be. :)
Re: I'm curious
Hi Jadzia,
Did you get this response? I'm looking back through the feed and things don't all go in order. Since I haven't heard from you in several days I'm hoping that things are ok on your end - and that you just never received my answers to your questions. Here they are:
YOU: So body with closed eyes are just sensations and thoughts telling "This is it".
Yes.
YOU: How is it known that body is needed for processing experience or life? Can it be known?
No. It can’t be known. Maybe what I think is a body is just experiencing or thoughts – and the body illusion is totally an illusion.
YOU: Are you implying that body is the same matter as a cat is made of?
If there is in fact anything physical at all, then yes. Sort of… but it’s the same as the air... Nothing is really not it. Not necessarily a physical thing. I’m not sure that there is anything physical at all. The physical might just be a thought.
YOU: Can it be known that animation is needed? Does there have to be animation of "dead" matter for something to happen?
No – it can’t be known that animation is needed. Maybe there is no matter at all – it’s all thought.
Can it be known that there is a body? Without thoughts?
No. The body exists entirely in thought. So there is no actual body. It’s a construct.
Can you see that both the ‘visual sight’ and the sensation appear simultaneously but ‘separately’, meaning that none of them is coming from the other or contained by the other? So they just appear equally, ‘beside’ each other without any hierarchy or link between them?
Yes
Did you get this response? I'm looking back through the feed and things don't all go in order. Since I haven't heard from you in several days I'm hoping that things are ok on your end - and that you just never received my answers to your questions. Here they are:
YOU: So body with closed eyes are just sensations and thoughts telling "This is it".
Yes.
YOU: How is it known that body is needed for processing experience or life? Can it be known?
No. It can’t be known. Maybe what I think is a body is just experiencing or thoughts – and the body illusion is totally an illusion.
YOU: Are you implying that body is the same matter as a cat is made of?
If there is in fact anything physical at all, then yes. Sort of… but it’s the same as the air... Nothing is really not it. Not necessarily a physical thing. I’m not sure that there is anything physical at all. The physical might just be a thought.
YOU: Can it be known that animation is needed? Does there have to be animation of "dead" matter for something to happen?
No – it can’t be known that animation is needed. Maybe there is no matter at all – it’s all thought.
Can it be known that there is a body? Without thoughts?
No. The body exists entirely in thought. So there is no actual body. It’s a construct.
Can you see that both the ‘visual sight’ and the sensation appear simultaneously but ‘separately’, meaning that none of them is coming from the other or contained by the other? So they just appear equally, ‘beside’ each other without any hierarchy or link between them?
Yes
Re: I'm curious
Sorry, the last message is the first I've seen. Unluckily this disappearing of messages happens, too.
Here one last excercise concerning the body and something else - too beautiful not to do it.
Lie on your back and relax. Have a look at the ceiling.
There is thought to be a distance between that what is thought to be known as ‘body’ and that what is labelled ‘ceiling’.
Close your eyes. Now focus on the space between body and ceiling.
Take your time, breathe in and out and simply look. Keep the eyes shut.
What do you notice?
Is there a body? Is there a ceiling? Is there a distance?
Enjoy the excercise and share what you found.
Love,
Jadzia
The illusion of self is the first to go down, but as you see there are more, which you might want to look at another time.Maybe what I think is a body is just experiencing or thoughts – and the body illusion is totally an illusion.
Yes, it is not exactly what it is thought it is, matter.The physical might just be a thought.
Experience doesn't need any extra fluff. ;-)it can’t be known that animation is needed. Maybe there is no matter at all – it’s all thought.
Yes, though an amazing one.The body exists entirely in thought. So there is no actual body. It’s a construct.
Good, this is important.Can you see that both the ‘visual sight’ and the sensation appear simultaneously but ‘separately’, meaning that none of them is coming from the other or contained by the other? So they just appear equally, ‘beside’ each other without any hierarchy or link between them?
Yes
Here one last excercise concerning the body and something else - too beautiful not to do it.
Lie on your back and relax. Have a look at the ceiling.
There is thought to be a distance between that what is thought to be known as ‘body’ and that what is labelled ‘ceiling’.
Close your eyes. Now focus on the space between body and ceiling.
Take your time, breathe in and out and simply look. Keep the eyes shut.
What do you notice?
Is there a body? Is there a ceiling? Is there a distance?
Enjoy the excercise and share what you found.
Love,
Jadzia
Re: I'm curious
YOU: Close your eyes. Now focus on the space between body and ceiling.
Take your time, breathe in and out and simply look. Keep the eyes shut.
What do you notice?
So basically, without vision connected to sensation, it's much more clear that everything is just a thought. There are sensations, and then there are thoughts that create a story for those sensations: what they are, where they are, what they mean, etc. All of the labeling happens in thought - things aren't intrinsically anything. Things probably aren't, period. Just sensations. The experience isn't separated. It isn’t separatable – thoughts have to be there for that.
Is there a body? Is there a ceiling? Is there a distance?
No body, no ceiling, no distance. No separation. All of the personalizing and claiming and labeling is some kind of weird filter over what is happening – experiencing sensations.
Even now with my eyes open I know that the hand (the sensation of a hand) is not “my hand.” It looks like my hand – because I’m back to identifying with thought as a person localized in this thing called a body (that doesn’t actually even exist…) – but even when that’s going on there’s a part of me that is just looking at the hand and realizing that it isn’t being operated by me (because where is me?) and it can’t be known to exist.
This shit shuts my mind right down.
Take your time, breathe in and out and simply look. Keep the eyes shut.
What do you notice?
So basically, without vision connected to sensation, it's much more clear that everything is just a thought. There are sensations, and then there are thoughts that create a story for those sensations: what they are, where they are, what they mean, etc. All of the labeling happens in thought - things aren't intrinsically anything. Things probably aren't, period. Just sensations. The experience isn't separated. It isn’t separatable – thoughts have to be there for that.
Is there a body? Is there a ceiling? Is there a distance?
No body, no ceiling, no distance. No separation. All of the personalizing and claiming and labeling is some kind of weird filter over what is happening – experiencing sensations.
Even now with my eyes open I know that the hand (the sensation of a hand) is not “my hand.” It looks like my hand – because I’m back to identifying with thought as a person localized in this thing called a body (that doesn’t actually even exist…) – but even when that’s going on there’s a part of me that is just looking at the hand and realizing that it isn’t being operated by me (because where is me?) and it can’t be known to exist.
This shit shuts my mind right down.
Re: I'm curious
This takes some time to get settled with, but then it has always been like that, never any different. And who is the one needing settling. ;-)This shit shuts my mind right down.
Yes. There is just this or life or whatever label one could choose. Just one, seamless.The experience isn't separated. It isn’t separatable – thoughts have to be there for that.
Does a label ever influence that which it labels?
Yes, one could call it a filter. Weird, no, it is a view, which seems to come from one point only.All of the personalizing and claiming and labeling is some kind of weird filter over what is happening – experiencing sensations.
Is that true?
There is nothing wrong with a little story. A little identification for a while. This is all part of the seamless one, too. It is the knowing how separation is created, kept up and what really is which makes all the difference.Even now with my eyes open I know that the hand (the sensation of a hand) is not “my hand.” It looks like my hand – because I’m back to identifying with thought as a person localized in this thing called a body (that doesn’t actually even exist…) – but even when that’s going on there’s a part of me that is just looking at the hand and realizing that it isn’t being operated by me (because where is me?) and it can’t be known to exist.
Give yourself a bit of time and observe what happens, how the you feel and let this settle a bit and then there are some other things to explore to get to looking through this elaborately build up illusion for once and all.
Love,
Jadzia
Re: I'm curious
YOU: It is the knowing how separation is created, kept up and what really is which makes all the difference.
Well, there’s the rub. “It’s in the knowing how separation is created…” I have an inkling that it’s created by inadvertently gluing sensations together and creating a false kind of jigsaw puzzle that is taken for reality – but taken by whom? You keep hinting to me that there is nobody there to identify the sensations – but the sensations are there. How are they felt/seen, etc., if not by someone? (And, I know that you can’t answer that for me).
I feel like a singular point of view – like we’ve said before. (And I recall that “I feel” is thought content… but there you have it). And when my eyes are closed and I’m just observing the sensations, I feel like I am the sensations. But this is witnessed via this singular point of view (I don’t feel the sensations in my husband’s body in the other part of the house).
I’ve been busy and my mind is occupied with the story – and I’m frustrated. That’s just where it’s at today. :(
Well, there’s the rub. “It’s in the knowing how separation is created…” I have an inkling that it’s created by inadvertently gluing sensations together and creating a false kind of jigsaw puzzle that is taken for reality – but taken by whom? You keep hinting to me that there is nobody there to identify the sensations – but the sensations are there. How are they felt/seen, etc., if not by someone? (And, I know that you can’t answer that for me).
I feel like a singular point of view – like we’ve said before. (And I recall that “I feel” is thought content… but there you have it). And when my eyes are closed and I’m just observing the sensations, I feel like I am the sensations. But this is witnessed via this singular point of view (I don’t feel the sensations in my husband’s body in the other part of the house).
I’ve been busy and my mind is occupied with the story – and I’m frustrated. That’s just where it’s at today. :(
Re: I'm curious
Frustration is often part of this investigation. And it is good to simply say
Try this:
Sit with it. Allow it, observe it.
In case there is a sensation, while you sit with the frustration - stay with it. Feel into it, let it be and just observe without trying to push it away.
When it is really felt and you are fully with the frustration:
What does it protect? Is there something else behind it?
Take your time here.
And when you found an answer:
What is really there? A someone feeling frustration? Or simply a sensation and a story?
Are you the weaver of the story?
Love,
Jadzia
It is there in the moment, all is well.hat’s just where it’s at today. :(
Try this:
Sit with it. Allow it, observe it.
In case there is a sensation, while you sit with the frustration - stay with it. Feel into it, let it be and just observe without trying to push it away.
When it is really felt and you are fully with the frustration:
What does it protect? Is there something else behind it?
Take your time here.
And when you found an answer:
What is really there? A someone feeling frustration? Or simply a sensation and a story?
Are you the weaver of the story?
You are. No separation at all, you remember?And when my eyes are closed and I’m just observing the sensations, I feel like I am the sensations.
Love,
Jadzia
Re: I'm curious
Frustration is often part of this investigation. And it is good to simply say
That’s just where it’s at today. :(
It is there in the moment, all is well.
Try this:
Sit with it. Allow it, observe it.
In case there is a sensation, while you sit with the frustration - stay with it. Feel into it, let it be and just observe without trying to push it away.
When it is really felt and you are fully with the frustration:
What does it protect? Is there something else behind it?
Take your time here.
And when you found an answer:
What is really there? A someone feeling frustration? Or simply a sensation and a story?
Are you the weaver of the story?
And when my eyes are closed and I’m just observing the sensations, I feel like I am the sensations.
You are. No separation at all, you remember?
YOU: When it is really felt and you are fully with the frustration:
What does it protect? Is there something else behind it?
It protects the idea of the singular self. The separate self. If I focus on the frustration and the not-understandable aspect of what I’m looking for, it reinforces that I’m a singular person with a (confused) singular point of view. It reinforces that there is something not me – separate from me – that “I” can’t understand/reach/obtain.
YOU: What is really there? A someone feeling frustration? Or simply a sensation and a story?
There appears to be the sensation and a story. There is a someone in that I still have this singular point of view – but that might just entirely be the story. Like earlier, when it became clear that vision and the sensation weren’t actually linked - I think it might be the same for the point of view and the sensations. The sensations occur, and the point of view claims them and ties itself up with them to make them seem related. The story (point of view) is just thought content – like any other thought content.
YOU: Are you the weaver of the story?
If the story is just thought content then we’ve already established that I’m not controlling that. So in that sense I’m not weaving the story – it’s just arising along with the sensations. But ultimately something is creating all of this – and if I’m everything (which is my experience with my eyes closed), then I must be creating all of this. I must be the weaver of this story (and every story). But I’m clear that it’s not this me – the 50-year old women in Texas. The idea of this little me seems as random and out of my control as the sound of the dog bark that just happened out my window.
There is something whispering to me around the edges. When I try to look at it it skirts out of view. It makes me want to just sit here quietly with my eyes closed (which is very unlike me). This is why people hole themselves up in caves and don’t talk to anybody for years – there is something really big just under the surface – something unfathomably big. All of the stories are a distraction from it.
I have been trying to feel into that “everything” feeling that I have with my eyes closed when my eyes are open. A lot of the time I totally forget about it and am entirely caught up in the story of my life. But there is a sense of it now sometimes when my eyes are open. It’s not as complete – but it’s starting to be there more. Things look separate, and like there is distance between them (like my body on this bed and the closet door across the room) – but the air between them feels like me now with my eyes open. The door feels like me. The entire universe.
It really is like a big joke: all of the separation and the stories of separate people. And all along it’s all just me. Or so it sometimes seems. And I’m constantly in and out of it – partially the story and partially everything.
That’s just where it’s at today. :(
It is there in the moment, all is well.
Try this:
Sit with it. Allow it, observe it.
In case there is a sensation, while you sit with the frustration - stay with it. Feel into it, let it be and just observe without trying to push it away.
When it is really felt and you are fully with the frustration:
What does it protect? Is there something else behind it?
Take your time here.
And when you found an answer:
What is really there? A someone feeling frustration? Or simply a sensation and a story?
Are you the weaver of the story?
And when my eyes are closed and I’m just observing the sensations, I feel like I am the sensations.
You are. No separation at all, you remember?
YOU: When it is really felt and you are fully with the frustration:
What does it protect? Is there something else behind it?
It protects the idea of the singular self. The separate self. If I focus on the frustration and the not-understandable aspect of what I’m looking for, it reinforces that I’m a singular person with a (confused) singular point of view. It reinforces that there is something not me – separate from me – that “I” can’t understand/reach/obtain.
YOU: What is really there? A someone feeling frustration? Or simply a sensation and a story?
There appears to be the sensation and a story. There is a someone in that I still have this singular point of view – but that might just entirely be the story. Like earlier, when it became clear that vision and the sensation weren’t actually linked - I think it might be the same for the point of view and the sensations. The sensations occur, and the point of view claims them and ties itself up with them to make them seem related. The story (point of view) is just thought content – like any other thought content.
YOU: Are you the weaver of the story?
If the story is just thought content then we’ve already established that I’m not controlling that. So in that sense I’m not weaving the story – it’s just arising along with the sensations. But ultimately something is creating all of this – and if I’m everything (which is my experience with my eyes closed), then I must be creating all of this. I must be the weaver of this story (and every story). But I’m clear that it’s not this me – the 50-year old women in Texas. The idea of this little me seems as random and out of my control as the sound of the dog bark that just happened out my window.
There is something whispering to me around the edges. When I try to look at it it skirts out of view. It makes me want to just sit here quietly with my eyes closed (which is very unlike me). This is why people hole themselves up in caves and don’t talk to anybody for years – there is something really big just under the surface – something unfathomably big. All of the stories are a distraction from it.
I have been trying to feel into that “everything” feeling that I have with my eyes closed when my eyes are open. A lot of the time I totally forget about it and am entirely caught up in the story of my life. But there is a sense of it now sometimes when my eyes are open. It’s not as complete – but it’s starting to be there more. Things look separate, and like there is distance between them (like my body on this bed and the closet door across the room) – but the air between them feels like me now with my eyes open. The door feels like me. The entire universe.
It really is like a big joke: all of the separation and the stories of separate people. And all along it’s all just me. Or so it sometimes seems. And I’m constantly in and out of it – partially the story and partially everything.
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