The Gate

By the way, I've been meaning to point out that you've been living without a self all along.

But let's take it one step at a time . :)

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

I'm not sure that I follow but here's another attempt:

Seeing a herb plant, simply = image, color
Smelling the herbs, simply = smell
Feeling the leaves through my fingers, simply = sensation
Tasting the herb leaves, simply = taste
Hearing the snip of the scissors, simply = sound
Thought of what to make for dinner, simply = thought

Hi Catherine

Yes, that's it

Do you see how, for example, "smell" does not *always* = smelling coffee, but smelling coffee always = smell?

Think about it. Smell could equal vanilla, toast or gasoline, so when it's reversed to "smell = smelling coffee, it's not true? .

If not, let's move on to a different exercise. You seem to understand, but if not, there will be plenty of other opportunities to clarify.

Fruit Exercise

Have a piece of fruit handy, or something that you like to eat.

For the first couple of minutes imagine you are eating the fruit…..feel the sensations of chewing, the taste, the texture, the fragrance, hear the crunching sound that the chewing makes. Really enjoy the imaginary piece of fruit as much as you can.

Then for the next couple of minutes actually bite the fruit and see the difference.

Experience the fruit with curiosity and dive into the sensations of chewing, swallowing, the sounds and the taste. Really enjoy the experience of actually eating the piece of fruit.

Then for another minute or so describe the taste and smell in as much detail as possible.

Write about it here. What was the experience like?

After you have done this, tell me what you noticed when you compared these three experiences:

1. Imaginary fruit

2. Real fruit

3. Description


Have fun with it, relax & let yourself be totally present.

Much love

Write about it here. What was the experience like?

The sweet potato chip smelled sweet, the crunch was loud, it's salty and hard to bite/chew, there was a loud snap when I bite into it. The chip surface was rough on my tongue, there's an Earthy-ness to it, a smell I can't quite put into words.

After you have done this, tell me what you noticed when you compared these three experiences:

1. Imaginary chip

The imaginary chip felt distanced, I could taste it but it wasn't as "real" feeling as when I actually tasted it - the sweetness in my imagination seemed more candy-like when the actual sweetness was more subdued, lighter and mixed with an Earthier, umami taste. The crunch was more expected but it didn't have the two sensations together - the tension of my teeth biting into the chip and the auditory snap that happened together. It was one dimensional.

2. Real chip

The real chip was a well-rounded experience - multiple different sensory experiences happening all at once. The smell, taste, feel of the chip in my mouth, thoughts that arose, the ebb and flow of how the experience changed from the first bite to the swallow - the sweet crispiness turning into a more bland sludge as it was chewed and swallowed.

3. Description


The description feels like a reporter trying to write a summary of a symphony - it captures the essences without any of the detail or depth of the experience. It doesn't feel as "fake" as the imaginary chip but it lacks the real completness-feeling of the real chip. Like there aren't words that I can use to describe the real chip beyond what I attempted - there are things I experiences which I'm unable to articulate and put into words. Language seems limit my ability to comprehensively cover my real experience.

Do you see how, for example, "smell" does not *always* = smelling coffee, but smelling coffee always = smell?

Think about it. Smell could equal vanilla, toast or gasoline, so when it's reversed to "smell = smelling coffee, it's not true?

That's very clarifying, thank you. I see the difference.

Hi Catherine!

That was beautiful. You express yourself very well in print. Also glad I was able to clarify how the list is different when it's reversed.

Seeing no self is like biting into a real chip. It will really happen. We are not looking for descriptions or imagination. You will absolutely know. There will be no question.

Approach each exercise LOOKING for the real thing.

Let's move on.

Cup Exercise

Here is an exercise which points out the difference between Direct (or Actual) Experience and content of thought.

There are two types of thoughts:

(1) Thoughts with words “Here is "cup”

(2) Visual mental images of a "cup"

So I invite you to do this exercise:

Think of a cup. Get a very clear picture in your mind.

See clearly the size, shape, color and volume of the cup. Notice whether it is decorated or plain. Notice whether it has a handle. Notice whether it is heavy or fragile. Do you have a clear picture in mind?

Now, can you physically grasp that image of a cup?

Can you pour tea into it?

Can you drink from it?

Is there a "real" cup or just an image of a cup?

Is there an appearing mental image?

Is the content of the mental image (the cup) "real?"

The thoughts and mental images are real only as arising thoughts and mental images, their "presence' cannot be denied. However their contents, what are they about are not "real," they are just fantasies. Can you see this?

Over the course of the next day or so, I'd like you to notice the content of thoughts.

Whenever there is an arising thought or mental image, check whether its content (what it’s about) is really happening, or the content is just pure imagination.

Let me know how it goes.

Much love,

Do you have a clear picture in mind?

Yes

Now, can you physically grasp that image of a cup?

No, not physically - it's a though

Can you pour tea into it?

Physically, no

Can you drink from it?

Physically, no

Is there a "real" cup or just an image of a cup?

It's an image only

Is there an appearing mental image?

Just a mental image of what I cup is - I can make it into anything "real" or mythical. It's an imagined cup even though I can make it look realistic in my mind.

Is the content of the mental image (the cup) "real?"

No. It's imaginary. Just like the imagined chip in the previous example.

The thoughts and mental images are real only as arising thoughts and mental images, their "presence' cannot be denied. However their contents, what are they about are not "real," they are just fantasies.

Can you see this?

Yes, I believe so. The thought of the cup is real, to think is to experience therefore the thought itself is real but everything else about the cup and the cup itself isn't.

I'm stuck here and it's likely irrelevant but honesty is important. Say you lose your keys, I think "where did I leave them", I'm given a mental image that tells me I left them on top of my dresser, I go upstairs and find them there. Is the content of that thought not real? Can you have thoughts with real content? Or is this an example of #1 "Thoughts with words “Here is "cup”"

Another example - I see someone who looks familiar, and I think "where do I know her from, what's her name?" And I'm then lead to a different thought with her name and where I know her from. Aren't the content of these thoughts real?

Hi again,

The thought of the cup is real, to think is to experience therefore the thought itself is real but everything else about the cup and the cup itself isn't.

I'm stuck here and it's likely irrelevant but honesty is important. Say you lose your keys, I think "where did I leave them", I'm given a mental image that tells me I left them on top of my dresser, I go upstairs and find them there. Is the content of that thought not real? Can you have thoughts with real content? Or is this an example of #1 "Thoughts with words “Here is "cup”"

Another example - I see someone who looks familiar, and I think "where do I know her from, what's her name?" And I'm then led to a different thought with her name and where I know her from. Aren't he content of these thoughts real?

Exremely relevant! Very good questions. I can't answer this for you and have it have any meaning. Let me guide you to seeing it.

In the moment that you have the thought about where the keys are, are the keys real and sitting in front of you?

In the moment that you have the memory of where you know the friend from is that something you can see hear feel taste or touch? Or is it only something your thoughts tell you?


The important thing here is that what is real is only seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, touching and the fact of a thought arising comet but not its content.

Do answer, please.

I know a man who, for a long time after he 1st saw that there was no self, whenever he was asked how his wife was, he would say, "I don't know I haven't seen her in a few hours. She could be dead."

That's a true answer. But t it upset people and he stopped saying it.

Let's keep going with the exercises and this will become clearer.

Much love,

In the moment that you have the thought about where the keys are, are the keys real and sitting in front of you?

No, they are an image in my mind or a story, or some other mental thing. A thought of a thought?

In the moment that you have the memory of where you know the friend from is that something you can see hear feel taste or touch? Or is it only something your thoughts tell you?

Something my thoughts tell me.

The important thing here is that what is real is only seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, touching and the fact of a thought arising comet but not its content.

Taking this a step beyond this exercise, so I'm fine just leaving this, not getting a response and continuing - thought contents cannot be real but they can still be useful? Like having a thought and receiving another thought as an answer may not all be real (I could get it wrong or misunderstood, etc.) but still lead to real states? Getting a thought about where the keys are leads to me finding them (that is real). I can touch them, see their colors, feel the weight of them. Or then maybe the thought doesn't matter at all and I would have found or not found them anyways if I just dedicated energy to "really" looking for them.

It's harder with the friend's name and location placement. The thought leads me to a potential interaction - more likely to say hi if I remember where I met her and what her name is. I suppose that's not true either because I could still say hello without that information. And here we go down the rabbit hole.. haha. I guess that's the issue with chasing the "realness" of the content of thoughts.

Good. You're getting it.

the thought doesn't matter at all

This will become clearer & clearer.

Yes, to anthropomorphize thought here, thought doesn't want you to notice it isn't real! Then it loses its control. You could also say, "ego."

That's also a story, of course, just a metaphor, a way to guide you to letting go of the obsessive need to believe the lies thought tells... to all of us!

Do feel free to download & read "Gateless Gatecrashers from the Books link here or any other material on this site.

Let's go deeper into thought with this next exercise.


Observing Thoughts

Here is a thought exercise. Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts.

Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.

Where are they coming from and going to?

Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?

Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?

Can you predict your next thought?

Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?

Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?

Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?

Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’? In AE (Actual Experience).



Take your time. Quote & answer each piece.

Normally I can not post so often during the day. Most days I can only post once a day.

Much love,

Observing Thoughts

Here is a thought exercise. Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts.

Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.

Where are they coming from and going to?

I have no idea - they don't seem to come from anywhere or go anywhere. They just appear and disappear.

Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?

No - I didn't do anything in particular. Just think. The content filled itself in.

Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?

No.

Can you predict your next thought?

No...however, this is tricky for me because sometimes something triggers a thought but even then that is a bit of a fallacy because the thought won't be the exact same.

Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?

No, but that would be pretty awesome if I could.

Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?

No, still would be pretty cool if I actually could have that much control.

Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?

I can say: "think of my happy place" and then I can take myself to my meditative happy place. But any kind of thought, no. Thoughts come, thoughts go, that's about all the control over them I have.

Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

No, though there are MANY thoughts I wish I could stop from appearing.

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’? In AE (Actual Experience).

You're right, they don't follow any predictable sequence even though they appear that way. For instance, my dog stands by the door. I observe her body language and I consistently think that when she stands by the door she has to go outside but then sometimes I think another thought, "no, I just let her out, maybe she wants something else" or "when was the last time I let her out" or "I can't believe she has to go out again, maybe she's sick, I should talk to the vet". Rabbit hole. I have awareness of that now - the content of thoughts doesn't really follow anything in particular.

Hi Catherine,

Very good. You're LOOKING for Actual Experience.

Can you predict your next thought?
No...however, this is tricky for me because sometimes something triggers a thought but even then that is a bit of a fallacy because the thought won't be the exact same.

Thought is tricky, but not if you stick with Direct Experience.

What evidence is there that "something triggers a thought?" Can you See, Hear, Feel, Taste or Smell this "trigger?" Or is it only another content of thought claiming some connection?

Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
I can say: "think of my happy place" and then I can take myself to my meditative happy place. But any kind of thought, no. Thoughts come, thoughts go, that's about all the control over them I have.

What caused you to even think to think of your happy place? Where did that come from? Can you control when you think of that & when you don't?

Look carefully. What is found?



Much love,

What evidence is there that "something triggers a thought?" Can you See, Hear, Feel, Taste or Smell this "trigger?" Or is it only another content of thought claiming some connection?

Seeing my dog standing by the door triggers a thought. I look at her and either take action or not and the content's thought helps me decide what action to take. I guess that's the real experience (the observation -> action, not a thought, though a thought is in there - I think before I act and try to make meaning of my observation of her standing by the door. But I guess, her standing by the door, if I didn't think would still potentially compel me to open the door or not. Like, thinking and making meaning of why she's standing near the door isn't necessary. My direct experience is observing her by the door. I don't let her out, she pees on the carpet. I let her out, she pees outside.

What caused you to even think to think of your happy place? Where did that come from? Can you control when you think of that & when you don't?

My happy place is another thought content. And me thinking, "I should think of my happy place" was how it arrived. So it's a thought of a thought. And no, as much as I'd love that level of control, I cannot with 100% accuracy control when I think of my happy place and when I don't.

Look carefully. What is found?

Thoughts in thoughts. Or thoughts chasing other thoughts. Or thoughts disguised as real experience. I'm still having trouble with how thought content and emotional response aren't linked. I think of something emotionally heavy and I have direct experience - I cry, my heart aches, my stomach hurts. Those somatic representations arise from the content of a thought. What am I missing?

Hi Catherine,

Good. Let's look at these closely.

try to make meaning of my observation

Here we want to ignore all meaning that thought tries to make. That is not seeing. It's thinking. Remember Colored Socks.

My direct experience is observing her by the door. I

Let's get really picky about what Direct Experience is.

Direct/Actual Experience

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (sensation, not emotion - we'll look at that in a bit)
Tasting
Smelling
Thought Arising (but not the made-up story, the content, the seeming meaning of those thoughts)

Direct/Actual Experience does not have to be taught or thought. It is just there.

So, with that in mind, tell me again about what you see when you look at your dog by the door? Only Actual Experience. Refer back to the exercise where you took daily activities and mentioned them only in terms of Actual Experience in a list.

My happy place is another thought content. And me thinking, "I should think of my happy place" was how it arrived. So it's a thought of a thought.

Correct. None of that is AE. Just content of thought.

I'm still having trouble with how thought content and emotional response aren't linked. I think of something emotionally heavy and I have direct experience - I cry, my heart aches, my stomach hurts. Those somatic representations arise from the content of a thought. What am I missing?

Okay, let's look at that. Without the content of thought, what is the Actual Experience of an emotion? Purely in the present moment - no past, no future - what is there? Just in that precise moment?

Yes, these sensations arise from the content of a thought. Is the content of thought Actual or Direct Experience? Or do we have to make it up? Make up some meaning for the sensation?


Much Love,

So, with that in mind, tell me again about what you see when you look at your dog by the door? Only Actual Experience. Refer back to the exercise where you took daily activities and mentioned them only in terms of Actual Experience in a list. 

Dog standing by the door = seeing
Dog scratching the door = hearing
Dog panting = hearing

Okay, let's look at that. Without the content of thought, what is the Actual Experience of an emotion? Purely in the present moment - no past, no future - what is there? Just in that precise moment?  

Sensations are the actual experience of an emotion. Emotion is the label we give to sensations. Or a reporter trying to explain a symphony.

Yes, these sensations arise from the content of a thought. Is the content of thought Actual or Direct Experience? Or do we have to make it up? Make up some meaning for the sensation? 

The content of a thought is not actual or direct experience. Doesn't that then mean that if I'm not directly experiencing my dog for instance (I've left the house or left her) that she stops being real? If I can't see her or otherwise directly experience her, she ceases to be real? What about the things you cannot directly experience? Outer space unless you're an astronaut? Or do seeing films about space count? Like seeing pictures of space? It's not the same though? Doesn't this really limit life?

Speaking of limiting life, what about God? Unless God is a sensation, but "feeling" God's presence usually is related to a thought. Thought contents aren't real, ergo God can't be real? I'm not sure I like where this rabbit hole is going.

Then there's another question about direct experience in dreams or even in visualization exercises - the brain can't tell the difference between something that is directly experienced "for real" and directly experienced in thought. https://drdavidhamilton.com/does-your-b ... imaginary/

So if I think of running and use my senses in thought (hear my breath, feel the sensation of my feet hitting the pavement, smell the morning dew) is that then the same thing as directly experiencing it for real? To my brain they are the same. I guess it doesn't matter right, because even though it's a thought, the thought is directly experiencing things? It's when the thoughts are just thoughts that they cease being real?

What am I not seeing?