The Gate

I’ve taken your instruction and I can say with honesty that I seem to feel the me-ness mostly behind the eyes and caught up in mind mostly as well as when there is any tension in my upper back/shoulder area. Most of the time it seems to be felt most prominently when caught up within the mind and thinking and mostly in the head behind the eyes?

The Me is here in this body and everyone and everything else is out “there” seemingly all different and separate from each other.

I’ve taken your instruction and I can say with honesty that I seem to feel the me-ness mostly behind the eyes and caught up in mind mostly as well as when there is any tension in my upper back/shoulder area. Most of the time it seems to be felt most prominently when caught up within the mind and thinking and mostly in the head behind the eyes?

Ok, good. We're homing in on the base sensation, that is, the sensation that is the base for me-ness.

Without associating this sensation with me-ness, there is no me.

But we do, out of sheer conditioning and habit like biting nails, or checking Facebook. :)

Me IS the association of this sensation behind the eyes with the notion of me-ness. That's it.

Sensation behind eyes ----- notion of me-ness.

Connected by a thin line of string.

Snip it.

In order to “snip” the string, thinking about it cannot work because then it will become just another belief system. Instead I have been giving my attention to the sensation behind the eyes and in the body. Do I just let it rest there as is and even thoughts of me-ness as they arise? I have not seemed to have quite cut the string yet lol.....but to try will also not do it right??

Thank you as always for guidance and help
Adam

Hi Adam,

In order to “snip” the string, thinking about it cannot work because then it will become just another belief system. Instead I have been giving my attention to the sensation behind the eyes and in the body. Do I just let it rest there as is and even thoughts of me-ness as they arise? I have not seemed to have quite cut the string yet lol.....but to try will also not do it right??

Snipping the string was a metaphor, no need to give it any more attention.

You're doing a great thing in discovering more about the quality of the sensation that feels to be behind the eyes.

This sensation you will notice shifts. It may appear and then be gone. You may be conscious of it, and then not, and wonder what happened to the last hour.

For all it's fickleness, this sensation, and the location in which it occurs (behind the eyes, in the head), effectively IS the me inside we've thought ourselves to be, the one that thinks, speaks and does.

It's laughable really, that we had so much invested in an on-off sensation.

Continue to explore it's qualities, and share what you discover.

Many thanks,
John

The present moment is always available to us but only once each one of us allows it to be as it is in that particular moment...until then it remains veiled as all attempts to be somewhere or something other than what IS.....only keeps us from seeing everything as it IS.....including ourselves. That moment contains all phenomenon including the sense of self and the story of self...unfolding as it wishes uniquely in each one as it chooses but belonging to no one in particular. Beyond description and therefore having no map to its destination. It is at once an ordinary and extraordinary experience. Ordinary in that things are exactly the same and extraordinary in that the story and the parts of it are no longer fixated on or clung to as what or who one is. In a way we as individuals ruminate on the past failing to recognize the ever present Present. Nothing is wrong or else all things would be different. All is done and as it should be already. The rumination on the story of me is what allows it to persist as ones perceived self...only it is not actually.
Thank you John for being a part of the present
Love always Adam

The present moment is always available to us but only once each one of us allows it to be as it is in that particular moment...until then it remains veiled as all attempts to be somewhere or something other than what IS.....only keeps us from seeing everything as it IS.....including ourselves.

It is. :)

That moment contains all phenomenon including the sense of self and the story of self...unfolding as it wishes uniquely in each one as it chooses but belonging to no one in particular.

Beyond description and therefore having no map to its destination. It is at once an ordinary and extraordinary experience. Ordinary in that things are exactly the same and extraordinary in that the story and the parts of it are no longer fixated on or clung to as what or who one is.

In a way we as individuals ruminate on the past failing to recognize the ever present Present. Nothing is wrong or else all things would be different. All is done and as it should be already. The rumination on the story of me is what allows it to persist as ones perceived self...only it is not actually.
Thank you John for being a part of the present
Love always Adam

So, where is Adam now in this?

Best wishes,
John

Adam is simply another idea of what IS. Another concept !
The Me-ness the same.....what I am now I see can only be what is always simply aware....aware of the Me-ness, aware of the idea of Adam or of others. Aware of all the senses and movements of the “mind”....all of those also only concepts!!! Crazy to think about because thinking is seen to be limited in comparison to Awarwness. But at the same time what is always present and aware is not an object that can be seen or known. It must be nothing and everything in order to always be present as it IS. There can never be separateness of any parts because there are no parts. The Subject/object game keeps the seperateness going. Letting go continually and allowing what IS to flow. Nothing really changes though which is the weirdest notion but is what it feels like...so awesome and strange lol! What helped to the most was taking your advice towards caring less to label the observation made of the sensation behind the eyes! So what! Now there is just the sensation with no Me there. But me the story is unchanged. I don’t know!!! Lol. It’s a curious thing because it feels like it was never there in reality now but somehow that thing the Me ness seemed to be over powering.

Thank you so much for being present with me and patient
Hard to have language communicate the real feeling but one has to do the best they can :)

Hi Adam,

Adam is simply another idea of what IS. Another concept !
The Me-ness the same.....what I am now I see can only be what is always simply aware....aware of the Me-ness, aware of the idea of Adam or of others. Aware of all the senses and movements of the “mind”....all of those also only concepts!!! Crazy to think about because thinking is seen to be limited in comparison to Awarwness. But at the same time what is always present and aware is not an object that can be seen or known. It must be nothing and everything in order to always be present as it IS. There can never be separateness of any parts because there are no parts. The Subject/object game keeps the seperateness going. Letting go continually and allowing what IS to flow. Nothing really changes though which is the weirdest notion but is what it feels like...so awesome and strange lol! What helped to the most was taking your advice towards caring less to label the observation made of the sensation behind the eyes! So what! Now there is just the sensation with no Me there. But me the story is unchanged. I don’t know!!! Lol. It’s a curious thing because it feels like it was never there in reality now but somehow that thing the Me ness seemed to be over powering.

Thank you so much for being present with me and patient
Hard to have language communicate the real feeling but one has to do the best they can :)

Cool. Ok, some work for you. :) These questions are an opportunity to reflect on this insight from different angles, so just respond ordinarily and truthfully from your experience. Thank you.

- Was ‘me’/‘myself’/'Adam' ever a living being that moves, speaks or thinks?

- How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?

- Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. Does ‘me’/‘myself’ make things happen? Is ‘me’/‘myself’ in control of anything? How does it work? What is ‘me’/‘myself’ responsible for? Give an example from experience.

- What was key in seeing this?

- Anything to add?

With best wishes.
John

Hey Adam, how's it going?

Hey John, sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you.
I would honestly say that Adam is really only a concept and thought as well as “I”. The “I” as perceived in a thought is just another part of the language and concepts present in the thought but the thought itself comes out of nowhere. They come of their own accord, things like free will and making decisions are also illusory because they are based in reference to a stationary unchanging being of “I” “making” each one so.....there is no control of any of this. This must be so because all these phenomeno. Act of themselves seemingly.
When I cont to ask though.....what is it that noticesall of this...I can’t find a single thing. I cannot say though that my experience feels vastly different though. Maybe I have read too much in regards to this topic that I can feel “myself” clinging to some idea of what it must be like. So I don’t think I’m feeling what it should be like....maybe the seeker in me is still looking which is frustrating because seeing that it’s looking for an escape as opposed to coming into contact with the real thing....
Makes me feel as if I am inferring too much and still searching for some sort of a transcendent experience. So at this point I seem to be at an empass which enables me to conceptually understand clearly that No Self makes sense but to say I’ve experienced that I cannot.
How should I proceed?
As always
Thank you for the guidance

I would also like to add that there has been some kind of shift because at times I do feel that things are happening spontaneously without the need for a me or I to be there. It’s an odd feeling that seems to flicker on and off. This morning I seem to be just sitting with no one to enter in to the experience and yet all things are flowing as usual. The thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations(which feel very nice) however any attempt to explain any of it escapes me.

Hey John, sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you.
I would honestly say that Adam is really only a concept and thought as well as “I”. The “I” as perceived in a thought is just another part of the language and concepts present in the thought but the thought itself comes out of nowhere. They come of their own accord, things like free will and making decisions are also illusory because they are based in reference to a stationary unchanging being of “I” “making” each one so.....there is no control of any of this. This must be so because all these phenomeno. Act of themselves seemingly.
When I cont to ask though.....what is it that noticesall of this...I can’t find a single thing. I cannot say though that my experience feels vastly different though. Maybe I have read too much in regards to this topic that I can feel “myself” clinging to some idea of what it must be like. So I don’t think I’m feeling what it should be like....maybe the seeker in me is still looking which is frustrating because seeing that it’s looking for an escape as opposed to coming into contact with the real thing....
Makes me feel as if I am inferring too much and still searching for some sort of a transcendent experience. So at this point I seem to be at an empass which enables me to conceptually understand clearly that No Self makes sense but to say I’ve experienced that I cannot.
How should I proceed?

It's good to ask, always, how am I approaching this?
What assumptions am I making, what expectations are shaping perception?

If I'm looking for the real thing, then I presume there is such a thing; I presume that what is happening now, is unreal, relative to this real. In this frame, I treat what is perceived as normal, even boring. I long for the special thing, so that I can be awake. The personified ego still wants to wake up. :D - in a special way.

So, we might inquire: who wants to wake up?

Look hard, and then when you fail to find anything, look at who's looking, and then when you fail to find anything...sit.

best wishes,
john

I def feel like I’ve been in the place where I am asking what it is that is doing the looking. I don’t know though John, I’m feeling like life is at a standstill for me because I’ve been in this inquiry now for some time and I’m at this point where I can’t continue because of the agony I feel and unfortunately since the question first arose I can’t get rid of the inquiry so there is this feeling of being stuck. What does one do??

I def feel like I’ve been in the place where I am asking what it is that is doing the looking. I don’t know though John, I’m feeling like life is at a standstill for me because I’ve been in this inquiry now for some time and I’m at this point where I can’t continue because of the agony I feel and unfortunately since the question first arose I can’t get rid of the inquiry so there is this feeling of being stuck. What does one do??

Laugh at how serious we take ourselves. That helps.

What are you agonising over in simple terms?

Thanks,
John