Looking Through

[Sarah7]

No problem Brian. You don’t need to let me know if you need longer. Ok! :)
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Coyote76]

Hi Sarah,

Touch the table (or any object) with your eyes shut (or open). Pretend like it’s the first time you have ever touched a table. Go straight to the raw sensation/perception. What is your direct experience of this ‘table’? List your direct experience.

The direct experience of touching is just touching. I don’t know a better way to describe it. I inherently know what touching is, but anything I try to attach to that sensation is just a label. “Solid” is just a label. It’s just sensation.

Is it senses again? Is it thoughts again? Look very closely. Which comes first the senses or the thoughts? Does the sensation of touching come with a shape, density, weight, size, colour, age or function? Does this sensation come with a ‘not me’ label or ‘other’ label? Is it one sensation/perception or two?

The felt sense comes first, and is direct. It’s just one direct sensation, then thoughts try to describe. The thoughts start in with a description, or a story or a comparison to a remembered experience.

Look at how thoughts try and take over, try and explain, try and prove. Notice your memories or references with which you compare the experience. Sit with these sensations. Look at them. Look at the labelling e.g. table, hand. Look at the thoughts or story that attach at the end of this list if any. What is your direct experience of these words? Do they exist outside of thought? Are they sensations again? Are they just thoughts again? Look very closely. Which comes first the sensation or the thoughts? Don’t pay attention to the thoughts just look at what they do, when they come in.

Yes there is a definite attempt to take over or prove, or convince or explain. But they are just thoughts, they are not sensations.

Sit on a chair with your eyes closed. Feel the Direct Experience of sitting there. Notice thoughts thinking, labelling and explaining. Notice memory too. Notice sensations experiencing. Notice the sensation of bottom on chair – what is that – a thought? Notice the ‘me’ ‘mine labels e.g. this is my bottom – but look closely at that sensation labelling – is it yours, or just coming and going along with thoughts, ever changing. Is it the thought that wants to own? How many sensations do you notice? 2? One bottom sensation, and one chair sensation? How is that possible? Where does one sensation end and another begin? Locate that line. Can you feel that line? Or is that thought? Can you sense that line – or is that thought explaining the sensation?

There is only the one sensation in direct experience. Of course there cannot be two, it’s just an assumption, a story, that’s made up. Looking for the line of separation, it cannot be found, it’s just another thought explaining the sensation. It’s funny, when this is seen, the “me” gets disoriented and says “Yes, but what’s below that.” But there is no below a sensation, lol.

Eyes closed. Turn your attention to your skin. Do you have Direct Experience of it being outside?

Nope, skin is not inside or outside, just another felt sensation in experience.

Thanks,
Brian

[Sarah7]

Morning Brian
Lovely. So have fun exploring taste and smell yourself. Nice excuse to eat lovely stuff!

What is our direct experience of the body? Is it the same as the idea we have about it? Do you see the whole or fragments that are collected together from memory to make a whole? And does that thought give us the impression of solidity, permanence and reality? Are the fragments ever seen without an aspect of the world – e.g. I am writing this in bed and I see my hands writing surrounded by duvet? As with the seeing exercise the total visual field – one seamless whole, made only of seeing. Is it thought that artificially divides? Is it as the TV screen, one seamless whole? From the point of view of the object – all items are separate, but what about from the point of view of the screen? Is anything separate or independent or is there just the screen?

Stand in front of a bigger mirror.
First, close the eyes and feel the sensations in the body.
Then open the eyes and look into the mirror, while still pay attention to the bodily sensations.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations in the body and the sight in the mirror?
Or just thoughts (and/or mental images) suggest that there is any?
While still paying attention to the bodily sensations move one of the hands and observe the movement from the mirror.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations (in the hand) and sight of movement in the mirror?
Now do the same movement with the hand, but this time look at the hand directly, not from the mirror.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations (in the hand) and sight of movement? Or only thoughts suggest it?
Now, pay attention only to the sight in the mirror.
Does the sight by itself suggest in any way that what is seen is ͚you͛ or ͚your body͛?
Does the sight itself suggest in any way that what is seen is a body at all?
Or there are only colours and shapes?
Where the mirror ends, some parts of the body (probably legs) cannot be seen.
Just by the sight, is there any ͚knowledge͛ that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental images suggest it?
Now turn away from the mirror and look forward (don͛t look directly to any body parts).
Is there a body anywhere when all mental concepts and images are ignored, or there are only sensations?
Start to walk slowly. Is there a body walking anywhere, or there are only sensations?
Have fun!
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Coyote76]

Hi Sarah,

What is our direct experience of the body? Is it the same as the idea we have about it? Do you see the whole or fragments that are collected together from memory to make a whole? And does that thought give us the impression of solidity, permanence and reality? Are the fragments ever seen without an aspect of the world – e.g. I am writing this in bed and I see my hands writing surrounded by duvet?

The direct experience of the body is not a body. It's a collection of sensations tied together by an idea, a thought or prediction about what 'should' be there. The fragments cannot be seen without some aspect of the world interacting.

Is anything separate or independent or is there just the screen?

There is nothing separate or independent or permanent about it...just one whole, just the screen. And not even a separate person there to witness, just witnessing appearing in the screen.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations in the body and the sight in the mirror?
Or just thoughts (and/or mental images) suggest that there is any?

This one took a few times to "see", and then it was like "Oh, of course." The thought that there was a connection between the sight and sensations was very deep for this one, but it falls apart under direct observation. No connection between the sensations and the sights.

Does the sight by itself suggest in any way that what is seen is ͚you͛ or ͚your body͛?
Does the sight itself suggest in any way that what is seen is a body at all?
Or there are only colours and shapes?

Just the seeing of colors and shapes. Tying these images together as a body is only another thought.

Is there a body anywhere when all mental concepts and images are ignored, or there are only sensations?
Start to walk slowly. Is there a body walking anywhere, or there are only sensations?

Again, only sensations appearing. Not only is there not a body, there's not even a decision to walk! Just the sensations.

Thanks,
Brian

[Sarah7]

Hi Brian
What are others in direct experience? Others in comparison to what? Is there still a belief that ͚you͛ Are in the body?
Can you find a self in other human bodies? How do you KNOW it͛s there? (Then there is the identification with the mind. Others could refer to other minds. If it is seen that I don't own a mind then how can others own their minds?) Is there an inside and an outside of the body? What about the other objects (nature, animals, people)? Is there a "you" that feels separated from them or is that just another thought/concept? Does the sense of self appears simultaneously with the resistance to what is?
Use the interaction with others to notice how the interactions with different people triggers different responses. Notice that "you" are not the person who suffer but "you" arises simultaneously with the struggle/resistance that generates the suffering. Every interaction with "others" can be an opportunity to notice that. Is there a physical self-contained within/as other bodies?

Go sit in a park or somewhere where there is a mixture of people and other living objects like birds, trees etc., and non-'living' rocks, water moving, wind etc. Then looking at if there was a self in that image/colours/movement (of rocks, wind), then what about plants/animals? Any difference? Then the human bodies moving around, talking? What͛s the difference apart from the ideas about that? Does that prove anything?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Coyote76]

Hi Sarah,

Is there a "you" that feels separated from them or is that just another thought/concept? Does the sense of self appears simultaneously with the resistance to what is?

Yes, there is no inside or outside to the body, and there is no separation from anything. The "I" that feels separated is just an idea. It appears with resistance to what is, usually in the form of feeling a need to protect certain ideas about itself. Interactions with others reveal what these different protection mechanisms are hiding, for example, there is an "I" that is "hard working." Challenges to these ideas (resistance to what is) results in separation.

Go sit in a park or somewhere where there is a mixture of people and other living objects like birds, trees etc., and non-'living' rocks, water moving, wind etc. Then looking at if there was a self in that image/colours/movement (of rocks, wind), then what about plants/animals? Any difference? Then the human bodies moving around, talking? What͛s the difference apart from the ideas about that? Does that prove anything?

Honestly, I could not generate a "self" in the moving water, wind blowing in trees, grass. Looking around, the dogs carrying sticks, couples walking and laughing, sailboats on the river...all of it is just life living. No one in charge, no selves running around directing anything. Only the conditioning of this body-mind make it appear otherwise. Without that, it's just life happening.

Interestingly, just sitting watching life unfold, there really is nothing else to be done. But this is threatening to the self, and I could watch the resistance rise up, obsess over this, and die away, then repeat. This idea of "me" that needs to secure a future by doing something is deeply resistant to life just living itself as it is. And that's okay! No need to change that, just an observation of the conditioning.

Thanks,
Brian

[Sarah7]

Lovely observations.
So then Brian, anything else you want to look at before we sum up? Any doubt anywhere?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Coyote76]

Hi Sarah,

I can't find any more doubt right now. Thanks for your expert questions, it has really helped clarify things. I'm very grateful for your guidance.

Thanks,
Brian

[Sarah7]

Rightyho then. ;)
So - just to sum up can you answer these in as much detail as you feel is necessary. Theres no rush! :)

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.
How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.
Anything to add?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Coyote76]

Okey dokey then.

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Nope, no 'self', or 'me', or 'I' to be found. Doesn't exist, never did.

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The separate self is the belief in an owner and director of the body-mind, that separates it from the world and tries very hard to manage experience. It always starts right now! It works by latching onto an experience (a sensation or a thought), then uses conditioning and memory to start a feedback loop that comments on the experience, then comments on the comment, etc., to keep itself going. It then believes in it's own existence. But in reality, it's just another thought passing through awareness, all just happening right now. Now that it's seen through, it runs out of momentum quickly.

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It's the same, but different. There is no dramatic difference, just a recognition of the way things are. Just a "Huh, so that's what that is, eh?" It's just a subtle shift in view. Although it is pretty hilarious.

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

As discussed when I started the dialogue, it was the conversation from Gateless Gatecrashers between Jamie and Elena. During this dialogue with Sarah, the exploration of connection between the feeling of the body and sight was also very clarifying.

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

Haha, no. This is the most hilarious part. There's no one there doing anything! It's hilarious walking down the street and realizing there's no one walking. WTF! There is truly nothing to do.

Anything to add?

Thank you for your guidance, Sarah. Very helpful, straightforward, and clear.

Thanks,
Brian

[Sarah7]

Hey Brian
Thanks for that. I’ve sent you a private message.
Hugs Sarah xxx