Free from prison of feelings

[Bambaji]

Excellent :) that sounds like a good experience.

I became the music. It was so beautiful, like the whole world could hear the music, we were one. Where ever the mind flew, the music followed. I just obseved

I am not quite sure what you mean with "wherever the mind flew, the music followed". Could you explain this to me please?

Could you please do the same exercise concentrating on taste: close your eyes to begin with and take a bite of something tasty and delicious. Look for the boundaries again. Is there anywhere that taste isn't?

And another time looking at touch: sit with eyes closed and your hands resting on your thighs. Can you feel any sense of separation between different body parts? What about between your bum and the chair? Your feet and the floor?

Always stay only with what you are directly experiencing, not what you think should feel/taste/see and not what you may have been told you should feel/taste/see. Just what is happening right in the moment.

Thanks Inkeri, I look forward to hearing from you :)

xx

[Inkeri]

Hi again!

So you will have your own experiences, your own thoughts, your own characteristics - why wouldn't you?! Sometimes there is an expectation that seeing through the illusion is going to stop all of that, but you will still be you, just with an awareness of who you really are!

Here is more what I have discovered. I have felt alone almost all my life. And have had a feeling that I'm missing something out. Today was a bit difficult day. Felt irritation energy almost all day. I flet it and saw in my family also. Different thing was that I didn't resist that. Usually I have had a big resistance to everything unpleasant. Now it more or less just was. And the peace inside me despite all that was there. Interesting. And the lonelyness has decreased alot. This "no boundares" thing is very liberating!

I'm still not sure if I get this. It seems so simple.. The only thing is not to belive the thoughts and stories that appear. Just observe in peace. And accept things the way they are in that moment.

[Inkeri]

Hey,
Just saw that you had a new post...

I try to explain..With the music-thing I had an experience where my mind flew in to a field and the music that I was listening kind a covered the whole field all aroud. I was the field and the music at the same time. (Somehting like that 😅)

I'll write more later.

Hugs!

[Bambaji]

Good morning

Different thing was that I didn't resist that. Usually I have had a big resistance to everything unpleasant.

No resisting, just looking, it's much more relaxing! Is this experience really unpleasant? Where does this description come from?

I'm still not sure if I get this. It seems so simple..

The simplicity of this is why it is so often overlooked, or given as the reason that it cannot be "right". But this is just another story..!

The only thing is not to belive the thoughts and stories that appear. Just observe in peace. And accept things the way they are in that moment.

You may as well - there is only this moment after all!!

How are the experiments with taste and touch going?

x

[Inkeri]

Hello!
[quote
Could you please do the same exercise concentrating on taste and touch.[/quote]

I did the excersise with tasting. It was harder but for a brief moment the taste filled up my whole awareness. There was no room for anything else.

Touching excersise was also a bit difficult at first. My mind has been very loud today. But when I felt the body relaxing, boundaries faded at the same time. Like the whole body dissapeared.

I notice that I am impatient. My mind is shouting that I should allready get this. And it's hard to stay present. Especially when there is a lot of things to do.

This is for now what I found.

[Inkeri]

Hey Bambaji!

No resisting, just looking, it's much more relaxing! Is this experience really unpleasant? Where does this description come from?

The unpleasant feeling I had, labeld as irritation was something that I really don't know where it came from!

Hmm.. I quess we people have labeled everything. And without a bigger tought, we kind a get sucked into it. Atleast I do. (Victom). Unless I notice it, accept it (if there is nothing I can do about it) and just let it be. Whatever feeling that is. This is hard for me but I'm working on it! :)

The simplicity of this is why it is so often overlooked, or given as the reason that it cannot be "right".

In my life I have moments, sometimes days, when everything is simple and flowing. But it does not last. It's like a rollercoaster. I'm wondering how to live life more stadily? How to keep this peacful understanding and not resisting? How to not get sucked into controlling and doing things like a robot? This seems to be a loop I'm stuck into. Any advices?
Thanks for your patience <3

[Bambaji]

Hi, good evening, thank you for your posts

I did the excersise with tasting. It was harder but for a brief moment the taste filled up my whole awareness. There was no room for anything else

Hearing is the easiest of the senses to get going with, keep playing, it gets easier! As it filled your awareness was there any separation between you and what you were sensing?

Touching excersise was also a bit difficult at first. My mind has been very loud today. But when I felt the body relaxing, boundaries faded at the same time. Like the whole body dissapeared.

Lovely.

I notice that I am impatient. My mind is shouting that I should allready get this. And it's hard to stay present. Especially when there is a lot of things to do

Story? Thoughts telling a story? Anything real going on here?

Hmm.. I quess we people have labeled everything. And without a bigger tought, we kind a get sucked into it. Atleast I do. (Victom). Unless I notice it, accept it (if there is nothing I can do about it) and just let it be. Whatever feeling that is. This is hard for me but I'm working on it! :)

Please explain the "we" that labels. Do you see label and thought working together? Isn't "Victim" another label? lol!

In my life I have moments, sometimes days, when everything is simple and flowing. But it does not last. It's like a rollercoaster. I'm wondering how to live life more stadily? How to keep this peacful understanding and not resisting? How to not get sucked into controlling and doing things like a robot? This seems to be a loop I'm stuck into. Any advices?

Thank you for this question Inkeri, but it is not for me to hand out advice. My "job" is to keep pointing to what I have seen to be true, and to what you are looking for. Then you will have the answers for yourself. That said, these things are called "practices" for a good reason!! All I can really say to you is to keep looking. We will keep looking together, peeling away the layers and getting to what is real.

You are already noticing stories and you have seen labels. Keep looking. Be gentle with yourself as you do this work. It can be lots of fun.

Do you feel like you are in control of anything?

x

[Inkeri]

Good morning!

Yes I will absolutely keep working 😘 !

As it filled your awareness was there any separation between you and what you were sensing?

With the taste excersise, I'm not sure... I will try that again today later.

Story? Thoughts telling a story? Anything real going on here?

Oh' man!! That's just another story I belived in! And have belived in for long time. Damn! So used to certain feelings and the (lovely) labels that this story-telling happens so *piip* easily! 😁

Please explain the "we" that labels. Do you see label and thought working together? Isn't "Victim" another label? lol!

As "we" I ment the school-system, society, dualist world-view that is more common... Bla bla.. Thoughts are making the labels!! And yes it is, just another tought I belive in... Phew!! I feel a bit weird now. Damn!!! 😂

Do you feel like you are in control of anything?

Oh no! Absolutely not! Some part wants to be and tryes to be but keeps failing because it's impossible! That's what makes my life so hard! Whoa!!

[Bambaji]

Fabulous!! You are doing really well with this looking.

Spend some time being aware of all the assumptions that you make, the unquestioned thoughts and opinions that arise. The stories that are told. No judgement required (!), just looking. Keep asking yourself if this thought/assumption/opinion/story is true and, if you think it is true, how do you know? Just looking at this over and over. It helps to focus the attention on what is real, what is really going on. Is there really a self making assumptions, having opinions? If there is a self, can you find it? Where is it?

On the subject of you being in control of anything:

Oh no! Absolutely not! Some part wants to be and tryes to be but keeps failing because it's impossible! That's what makes my life so hard! Whoa!!

What/where is this part of you that wants to be? Why is it impossible?

That's all for now!! No hurry, go gently and enjoy the process :)

Hugs x

[Inkeri]

Hello Bambaji :)
I did this exercase with taste again. And this time I felt it, how the taste was all there was in that moment. No room for anything else. No separation at all! No "me" tasting it, just the taste of that wonderful chocolate 😋

What/where is this part of you that wants to be in control? Why is it impossible?

I think it's the imaginary self that is desperately wanting to exist, who want's to be in control. And the need to control is happening in the head. Made by toughts that are just stories. Not real at all! A definate paradox as you said!! That's why impossible! (I can't drink any water if there isn't any water in the cup 😝).

Spend some time being aware of all the assumptions that you make, the unquestioned thoughts and opinions that arise. The stories that are told.

... I will 😘 And will get back to you!

Hugs

[Inkeri]

Good evening!

Spend some time being aware of all the assumptions that you make, the unquestioned thoughts and opinions that arise. The stories that are told. No judgement required (!), just looking. Keep asking yourself if this thought/assumption/opinion/story is true and, if you think it is true, how do you know?

The real ultimate test started today for me. We came back home from the cottage, where I had a lot of help with my (super active) daughter. Old toughts are arising. Like I can't do anything for me... The past 18 months have been very hard and my mind is still hanging there. I find resistance to what is, but try really hard to just observe and accept. And be present.
Is it true that I can't do anything for me? .. Well, not as much as before, but I am a mom now and life changed a lot after that. I could start to notice the things to be grateful at.

Who is making the assumptions and the observations, if not self? This is still a mystery for me. Are they just toughts and stories? In those excercises I didn't find any boundaries with senses and self. But I still wonder who or what is living all these moments? And making the decisions in life? Where is the self? I don't know, can't find it. But still a bit confused..
I'll get some rest now, maybe dreams will help 😜 good night!

Hugs

[Bambaji]

Good morning

Thanks for your post, you have a lot going on hon, go gently if you can.

Assumptions and observations: are they being made or are they just arising and being noticed?

Tell me about some of the decisions you have made today.....

Xx

[Inkeri]

Hey,

Assumptions and observations: are they being made or are they just arising and being noticed?

They are just arising. I have payed atention to my feelings and reactions today (followed by assumptions and observations). My mind is running fast, I know. But I think I notice it now more and that way am able to patiently slow it down. I noticed that my mind is always one ote two steps ahead.

Decisions... I decided not to belive the toughts that arise as the truth. I'm re-programming my way of looking at the world. And trying to bring my attention to presence when I notice it's not. And as I write this, my heart is very worm and it feels really good.

Go gently... Yes 💗

Thank you 😚

[Bambaji]

Is it true that the mind is always one or two steps ahead?

Get up and go to the kitchen, fetch a drink and then come back to this post......

Was there actually a decision to get up or did you get up and then have a thought about it? Look carefully. Thoughts jump in really fast to own actions. Did you reach for a drink without thinking? Did you give any thought to the vessel your drink is in?

Report back!

xx

[Inkeri]

Hi!

Was there actually a decision to get up or did you get up and then have a thought about it?

To be honest, instant feeling was that I have done somenthing wrong and felt a bit "small". (Some sort of panic-reaction built up from past I guess). But... Noup, no decision, I just got up.

Did you reach for a drink without thinking?

Yes.

Did you give any thought to the vessel your drink is in?

No.