Compelled to see

[Petrus]

Hi Mark,

Thanks for your answers.
I feel its getting more clear over there. You feel the same?

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What about watermelon exercise?
I don't see answers. You forgot?

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I want to add another exercise with questions about the body:
With the eyes closed, sitting still, notice the other sensations: hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. With only the input from those four senses, and without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or a volume?
Is there a boundary between the body and the ground?
Can you feel where the body ends?

Do you have control over this body?
Can you locate a mind?

Can you feel your ears?
Does the body hear? Or is there hearing?

In direct experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there an inside or outside?
What does the body consist of in direct experience?
Are you this body?

Warm regards, Petrus

[hansemd]

Can it be known how tall the body is?
No
Does the body have a weight or a volume?
I feel the weight of my butt on my chair but no specific weight. No volume.

Is there a boundary between the body and the ground?
I don't sense a boundary at all.

Can you feel where the body ends?
Not at all.

Do you have control over this body?
I'm not sure. I seem to control parts of my body in daily life.

Can you locate a mind?
I cannot locate a mind or where thoughts come from.

Can you feel your ears?
No

Does the body hear? Or is there hearing?
Seems like there is just hearing.

In direct experience does the body have a shape or a form?
No
Is there an inside or outside?
No
What does the body consist of in direct experience?
Nothing
Are you this body?
No

[hansemd]

Thanks for your answers.
I feel its getting more clear over there. You feel the same?

========================

What about watermelon exercise?

I don't see answers. You forgot?

Oops! I recall doing that already from an LU video before we met so I ignored it. So sorry. I also wasn't sure if that was like "extra credit" or a do alone.

I feel like I'm making progress even though I don't know exactly where I'm going. I am having energy like an electric current at night in bed. That happened before my experience with no-self.com. Makes me very happy!

[Petrus]

Hi Mark,

I feel like I'm making progress even though I don't know exactly where I'm going.

I feel there are no more questions to ask you.
Or are you expecting thunder and lightning and bliss now?

You have any questions for me?
Are you ready for the final 6 questions?

Warm regards, Petrus

[hansemd]

I feel like I'm making progress even though I don't know exactly where I'm going.
I feel there are no more questions to ask you.
Or are you expecting thunder and lightning and bliss now?

I expect nothing. I never have. I receive what I receive and that's just so.

Let's see the final six questions

[Petrus]

Hi Mark,

Ok , here they are:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Warm regards, Petrus

[hansemd]

These questions seem to presuppose that I am "seeing" already.
I don't feel or "see" any different than when we started .
If this is the end I guess I have to look at the questions again to see if I can get it.
Any suggestions?

[Petrus]

Hi Mark,

I don't feel or "see" any different than when we started .

Haha, afraid to enter the Gate?

So, what is not clear?

Try the first question
We will see what happens

Warm regards, Petrus'

[hansemd]

HaHa, definitely not. I want to enter the gate more than anything else in my life.

[Petrus]

HaHa, definitely not. I want to enter the gate more than anything else in my life.

So what is withholding?
Please answer the first of the 6?

[hansemd]

I'm Really looking everywhere but my answer would be yes but superficial. not "seeing".
I know that we are all one from my experience with no-self.com. I clearly saw the "one" and me in it in almost total darkness peace, and love.
I'm looking with that experience as a guide and putting more time into looking. You would think i could see after that. Please be patient and I thank you again.
I'll keep looking until i see. I never quit.

[Petrus]

Hi Mark,

I'm Really looking everywhere but my answer would be yes but superficial. not "seeing".
I know that we are all one from my experience with no-self.com. I clearly saw the "one" and me in it in almost total darkness peace, and love.
I'm looking with that experience as a guide and putting more time into looking. You would think i could see after that. Please be patient and I thank you again.
I'll keep looking until i see. I never quit.

Very important you keep telling me what is happening over there. Even if it is superficial.
How you know you are not seeing?
How you would know you are?

You had a oneness experience.
Experiences come and go. If you have an experience as guide, it seems to me you want that experience again. That is not looking at what is now. Do you agree?

I am having a vacation at the moment, so I only can answer with my telephone...

You seem to know the good answers.
Where do you feel it is becoming intellectual understanding

Please elaborate so I can discover where you start looking with mind instead of just looking at what is...
Warm regards, Petrus

[hansemd]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No. From my prior experience i saw that we were all in the "one" . That everything was in the One and we are just playing a game.

Mark

[hansemd]

Very important you keep telling me what is happening over there. Even if it is superficial. OK.
How you know you are not seeing?
Good point. I guess it's because I feel the same.

How you would know you are?
Another good point. I wouldn't know because I never experienced what it's like.

You had a oneness experience.
Experiences come and go. If you have an experience as guide, it seems to me you want that experience again. That is not looking at what is now. Do you agree?
Yes, totally. I am clear that this is a totally separate experience. Seeing that we are all "one" was a catalyst.

I am having a vacation at the moment, so I only can answer with my telephone...
Bummer and have fun. This is taking up your vacation time.

You seem to know the good answers.
Where do you feel it is becoming intellectual understanding
That is my biggest problem. Intellectual control over all is paramount, I thought. Raised by two abusive alcoholic parents made my walls very big and strong. I don't show emotion and people can't read me. That's part of my story but now it seems silly and totally ego driven. But still, there it is ready to hide behind in an intellectual mind. That is what I have to tear down. Another story, haha. I have definitely started to break down the walls and open my mind to things like this D.E.. I still act that way and play that intellectualizing boring game. My wife says I am like Spock and Data from Star Trek.

Please elaborate so I can discover where you start looking with mind instead of just looking at what is...
Warm regards, Petrus

[hansemd]

I see that I did not answer your question:

Where do you feel it is becoming intellectual understanding

I always thought the brain ruled that realm. Now I don't think so because of the "looking" . I really don't know. Putting all those thoughts that come and go into intellectual understanding is a process I don't understand. I feel that it is created somehow in the cosmos outside of my brain.