Re: Recently back from my first Vipassana retreat and looking for some further guidance.
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:26 pm
Hi,
Sorry it took a few days to respond, I must have accidentally disabled e-mail notifications somehow!
Sorry it took a few days to respond, I must have accidentally disabled e-mail notifications somehow!
No, there is no separate self anywhere and there never was. "I", "me", "self" - these are all nothing more than labels that don't actually refer back to anything.1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
The illusion starts when a thought appears as a part of some story about a "me", and that thought is believed. The sense of self isn't even always there, only when the thought "me" arises and is believed. Also, this thought about a self often arises along with memories about past events, and it is "remembered" as if it was actually part of that memory when in fact there is nothing else actually there but the thoughts themselves.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
Nothing about the world has actually changed. It's not like suddenly "I" have vanished - "I" was never here in the first place. So in a sense nothing has changed, yet there is a slight shift in perception. There is no longer any delusion about there being any entity "behind" this experience to whom it is happening. Experience is just unfolding on its own. It's like a huge weight has been lifted, but the weight was never actually even there - it was a hallucination.3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Decision, intention, free will, etc - these are all just illusions much like the illusion of "I". There is no "me" that makes things happens, things just... happen. Everything is unfolding on it's own. Sometimes a thought of a "me" making decisions and being in control comes up but these are just thoughts that are part of the process, there's no reality behind them. There's no such thing as control, because there's no person to be in control. These words are being typed on the keyboard all on their own, there's just an awareness of it happening without anyone actually "doing" the typing. The eyes switch back and forth, sometimes looking at the keyboard and sometimes at the screen, but nobody is controlling that, it's just happening. There is also no-one choosing what to write - words appear in consciousness and then electrical signals are sent to the hands and they begin typing those words. "I" don't have to do anything!5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.