Hi there and thank You again.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No there is not, never was. Only a thought imagined to be something.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
I can´t tell when it came in to picture, but it was learned. After learning, it came to be believed. And then it was thought to be a person as an owner of everything sensed and experienced. It is a lable like everything else, which has been named. It is an description of something that is not. Many other labels has a "neck" to hang on, but this one has nothing. It is a word pretended to be able to have value and content. Any kind goes. A word stuffed with stoories owned. Illusion out of nothing.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
The seeing changed everything. It feels like being born again. Completely different aspect of the experience of life. New understanding of all that is and all that is not. It truly is a liberation. Liberation of suffering, quilt, victimization etc.
Who or what could be something like that.
Before there was this sensation of searcher searching all the time. Now there is none. End of searching. Resisting is also gone. All is progressing on it´s own. Great relief. Thinking has changed from feeding explanations to add more content to the "self", to unloading the old believed stoories. U-turn of thinking. Colours are different, intuition is more sensitive and clearly heard. No need of knowing everything or be able to explain everything. Easyness and no drama.
There is so much different, but here was few.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
This is hard to say. I have been going this way so long and the need to look was ready. The finger that pointed, made the step. So By this conversation with you lead to look deep enough.
5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
There is no separate doer for any of abowe. Those are labels with imagined contents. Assumptions of something that seems to take Place. Maby there is some conciousness that could use those words to describe this experience, but none of those are not anywhere here to be found. Everything just takes place with co-operation of the body some how.
Things happens before the thought even appears. There is no one here to know.
It seems that when the imagined "I" is not in charge, everything is just happening and choices made. No one is responsible.
Some signals like emotion or feeling or thought arrises and the doing takes place.
For example: a sense is appearing and directly understood as a feeling of thirst. The direct response to that sense is to get something to drink. This just happens without thinking. No one is doing this or decide to go and have something to drink. The chain of actions happens.
6) Anything to add?
At the moment everything is changing so quickly that it is hard to put in words. Everything is explained a new way ower and ower again. This is just happening without any attempts. The picture gets deeper and wider all the time.
Like re-writing the operating system. Re-programming the old system. Like watching the Matrix numbers running in front of eyes and being able to understand it. The reality is changing completely. For now I just keep on watching the show. Or the watching is just taking place.
I am so gratefull for you for doing all this. Your patience and pointing. You are kind of a mother earth, giving new births again and again. Giving a life to those, who can not see. This is biggest thing in this experience. Now the life can begin.
Thank You and be blessed <3
