no stone unturned

[humbled]

So I've been trying to just feel and sometimes it's there. Whether I go for a walk or anywhere really that I happen to be. I don't know how to describe it because I can't really relate it to anything. By feeling vs thinking or labelling, I try not to analyze the feeling or understand it.
I also was reading a bit more from the Liberation Unleashed app specifically about labelling. Using the analogy of anything really like the word "computer" <label> is not the same as the actual thing itself makes sense. Then I ponder the label of "I" and what "I" points to. I can't find the thing that "I" points to. This really throws me. I've been trying to blend this with just feeling experiences vs. analyzing them. I guess it's this point where I'm stuck...

[Notone]

Welcome back humbled. I think you have been doing great actually! You have verified yourself that feeling, experiencing something and labeling it are two separate things and labeling happens only when the basis of experiencing is there (otherwise, what would you label?).

This is an important step. Now we can focus on the actual experience that is the case right now. This is the whole point and purpose of meditation-based practice - to directly experience reality right here and now, looking past the labeling and learning where the labeling does not reflect the actual matter of fact.

Then I ponder the label of "I" and what "I" points to. I can't find the thing that "I" points to. This really throws me.

Is it you being thrown, or is it maybe a feeling of something being thrown, that simply happens in according to effect and cause? Once a certain experience comes up, a certain other experience is triggered.

Why is there this feeling of being thrown, when you cannot find what "I" is pointing to? Is there some fear? Is there some feeling of surprise, or anything else? Let's explore this deeper.

[humbled]

Hello Notone,
What I meant by being thrown is more like a feeling of blankness. I can't find the thing that "I" points to and it confuses me. It's like something inside says that's the key, that's why there's no real "I". But even though it comes as a matter of fact thought, I still end up thinking "well then what's the real explanation?"

Why is there this feeling of being thrown, when you cannot find what "I" is pointing to? Is there some fear? Is there some feeling of surprise, or anything else?

It doesn't feel like fear usually. Surprise is probably closer or generally confounded. It's like when I have that moment where "I" is pointing to anything then something inside of me goes "Well then what?" and I get stuck or lose the thought momentum altogether.

[Notone]

It's like when I have that moment where "I" is pointing to anything then something inside of me goes "Well then what?" and I get stuck or lose the thought momentum altogether.

So if "I" is not pointing to anything, what is it then that gets stuck? I find it important to come up with a clear and honest definition or description of what you are, based on your experience here and now. This is the path that I followed and so I'm trying to take you down the same path. It is actually only a matter of honestly looking for just one moment. Don't have any expectation, it may or may not be the final step, it is not important what the result of the looking will be! I suppose it could help to try and deliberately come up with something, that is not based on any previously known description.

Look at that, which is getting stuck. What is it? What is "I" in "I get stuck"? Maybe you cannot see yourself. So invisible you are :-D
Why not? Let's play around a bit, let's be unreasonable and playful for a moment. If we are playing, if it is a game, there is nothing to loose really, there is no consequence for the serious things in life. If you find yourself invisible during this game, it doesn't mean you will have a problem getting a job or anything else in the serious world!

[humbled]

What is it? What is "I" in "I get stuck"? Maybe you cannot see yourself.

Hmm, I don't know what the "I" is that gets stuck... it's the thought that determined that "I" isn't pointing to anything. Feels like I'm going in circles a bit.
I think I need to mull this over some more