Journey

[ShrnRbrts]

Body needs care to survive, body needs nourishment and safety. The body that carries 'me' / 'I' is seemingly well cared for yet, there is feeling of hyper-vigilance, adrenal glands are depleted from flight or fight from what appears to be outside danger.

Thoughts arise - 'I' am in danger. Who is in danger? There is no 'I' . Yes, but 'I' see danger ahead. 'I' sense danger. Hey, don't worry, there is no 'I' to be in danger. There is no 'other' causing threat. So should 'I' put myself in potential risk, since there is no 'I' to risk? Thought is - that would be very silly.

There is understanding, even knowing that aliveness happens without 'I' or 'me' doing anything - that aliveness just is without 'me' and without survival of 'I'- yet, with what appears to be an actual threat to body's survival, survival instinct has fully kicked in. Fully thrust back into 'I-ness'

sending love

[Ilona]

Thank you for reply.
You say that body carries I/me, interesting. Where is this I/me in the body? Can you pinpoint it? Is it inside or outside, in which part of the body?

The fear that come up with a sense of danger, is protecting the organism. Instinctual. Sometimes that fear is informing about real danger, it's fine. But sometimes it protects something that does not exist.
What is dangerous for the i? What can be lost? What can be damaged? Is there i at all? What would be lost if there really is no i at all?

Take a good look here and write what feels true.

Sending love

[ShrnRbrts]

Looking does not find the 'I' or 'me' in the body, but with eyes shut there was seeing thoughts and programs coming and coming, with space in between. The space/nothingness is recognised as Truth which is neither inside or outside the body, but also inside and outside body - body merged. Those programs seem to be labelled 'good thought' 'bad thought' 'good feeling' bad feeling' and they just come and they just go, unless there is grasping. These are the programs that make "I' 'myself' but understanding is the space and nothing is Self. There is no danger to Self, it's little self, the bundle of thought and program within the organism that fears. The organism that appears as Sharon can be destroyed, but not Truth.

with love

[Ilona]

Is there a big self and a little self? How does that work?
Can you find a bundle of thoughts and feelings? Or it's a thought about a bundle?
What happens when you look for it?

Sending love

[ShrnRbrts]

Ha! I don't know how that works! It's how it seems. I can't find self or Self, just the nothing.

I can't find the bundle - they were seen to be passing by, with eyes shut. Just coming and going. A thought.

[Ilona]

Good to notice! Now have a look are thoughts coming and going in bundles or one thought at a time?

[ShrnRbrts]

How it appeared was separate thoughts - almost like separate images coming from nowhere - but many of them, all separate but at the same time, with nothingness/spaciousness between each. Just coming and going. So, 'I' could see them and thought was "I" could grasp on to any of them and get stuck in the program, thought was - these images are thoughts, oh! thoughts are just programs and if there was just looking they just passed by and all there really is is the space between. Thought was these are the programs that keep 'me' in 'I-ness'

xx

[Ilona]

Good work! Now let's look closer. What is me-iness?
Is I more than a thought of a special thought? Can a thought think, feel or do anything? Does a thought stick to another thought? Watch as thoughts come and go and see if they stick to each other.
Examine this closely and write soon!
Sending love

[ShrnRbrts]

'me' 'I-ness' seems also to be a program/ a thought that other thoughts/programs stick to. A special thought that thinks. More sticking seems to give thought more density. There are thought programs. There are feeling programs. Yes thought thinks. Yes, thought feels. Yes, thought does. 'I' am a thought, as is 'the other', that no longer exists without thought, like Unicorn. Everything in 'my' existence is thought, including 'myself.'

just a thought.
xx

[Ilona]

I ask you look very carefully, what do you mean by a thought sticking to? Observe thoughts, what do they stick to? Where is the glue?
Count in your head till ten, what do these thoughts stick to?
Don't answer from just thinking about it, the whole point is to actually do it, observe how it works in actuality and describe what you see. Your previous answer was all from thinking- you haven't taken a look for yourself, but repeated to me what you have learned before.
So spend some time really taking a look at the thoughts themselves. No one can do that for you. It's your process.
Write when you made some observations.

Sending love.

[ShrnRbrts]

Ok - so there is no glue and when watched more closely there is no sticking - there is nothing to stick to.

The previous answer was how it appeared and it seemed to feel like new thought rather than repetition of previously learned. As in, there was seeing thought of 'other' appearing as images in the spaciousness and realising 'other 'was just thought. Thinking was,' I've' thought everything and everyone up, there is no other, only programs, oh no how do 'I' communicate with these 'thoughts', it's only 'me' here, oh no - "I'm' all alone. There was brief panic. oh hang on - "I' am also just thought - a thought that thinks, those other thoughts seem to think too. The realisation was it's just programs. Program after program after program.

Upon looking more closely, what was seen was there can be thought that 'I' will run with this program, there seemed to be programmed feelings and responses depending on the program, more programs seem to come within the program, but no they didn't actually stick, or build density - that was the thought - that the programs were building the density of Sharon, but looking more closely, there was no Sharon, only programs coming and going.

xx

[Ilona]

Thank you for reply. So does there need to be I to run those programs?
What is not on automatic?

Sending love

[ShrnRbrts]

No - no 'I' is needed.
The programs just come automatically.

love. x

[ShrnRbrts]

'I' was programmed to think 'I' am thinking. 'I' am not doing the thinking - thoughts just come. Thought doesn't think, that was a trick. 'I' was programmed to think there is 'I'. 'I' is a program. Thought of 'I' also a trick. There is seeing, feeling, hearing, other programs. All automatic.

with love.

[Ilona]

What is the I that can be programmed?
Is there I that can awaken from programming?

Is there a gate to cross?

Sending love