WhatNext

[s-p-a-c-e]

Thank you Richard.

A few more for response:

- How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

- What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

- Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Anything to add?

With kind thanks,
John

[RJB]

Hello John,

As 'I' mentioned at the beginning, it became clear that there was no 'self' when reading "Gateless Gatecrashers" and looking within to answer the questions given to the participants - as it turns out, it was at the end of the chapter entitled '"Richard"! And the first response to it was surprise that it actually was so simple, then chuckling to 'myself', then just 'WOW'!
Throughout all the 35+ years that 'I' was aware of the non-dual teachings it still didn't "sink in", as it were. There was, however, more of an intellectual understanding, particularly after reading a number of the, so called, 'radical non-dualists' over the last few years (since March 2013), but no clear seeing. 'I' just didn't 'get it'.
The differences are that there is absolutely no doubt anymore, and the intellectual understanding seems to have gone into the background, possibly remaining there to be used to help others to move into the clear seeing, if required - have actually been a bit of a 'motor mouth' (very unusual for 'me') with 'my' friends/relatives about non-duality since coming across the radical 'non-dualists'! :)

Can't really say what it was that pushed 'me' over - 'I' was looking, and there was a sense of doubt (which seemed to be off to the left on the periphery of consciousness - yes, there was an actual direction!) that there was no 'self', and then suddenly the doubt was gone (just plain gone), and it was then so obvious that there was no 'self', and that there had never been a 'self'. WOW!

Regarding "decision, intention, free will, choice and control": 'I' had been very influenced, for whatever reason, by a song entitled "Que Sera, Sera", by Doris Day, from the late-50's/early-60's, and have been very aware that 'things' pretty much happened by themselves, and that 'I' didn't have much control, if any, over anything in 'my' life - although 'I' guess that 'my' egoic self still thought that it was in control. 'My' life took all sorts of unexpected, and occasionally unwanted, turns, and 'I' couldn't do anything about it - 'I' thought that 'I' had plans, of course, but they pretty much always came to nought! For example, 'I' wanted to be an Architect - did the required subjects in High School, bombed out, went back to school 6 months later, just scraped through, didn't get into Architecture, went to work for 20 years as a clerk, went to uni as a mature age student, majored in psychology (not architecture!) with minors in philosophy and linguistics, did grad dip in computer studies, and ended up teaching computer programming!! Thoughts just arose to apply for this, apply for that... Go figure! :)
So, thoughts arise, actions occur, etc., and none of it is under 'my' control, and never has been - LIFE HAPPENS! :) YAY!

Many, Many, Thanks John.

Cheers,
Richard.

[s-p-a-c-e]

Thanks Richard - very helpful.

I've sent you a PM (private message). :)

Best wishes,
John