Emptiness is the track on which the centred person moves. - Tsongkhapa.

[IainB]

Hi John,

as something to work with, take a view which feels solidly true for you, and set aside the property of 'true' - and in so doing, let it stand as a DESCRIPTION-ONLY, one of infinite descriptions. You will know this is done when the description has no need of being true or false. It is merely a description

I chose the example of “I need to go to work”, a view rather prevalent in my life.

I can see how my own values, predispositions, fears, hopes and persuasions have sought to invest in beliefs such as this and so make them ‘true’ as you say.

If I can set these aside as best I can then I can see there is just an activity or an idea that in itself doesn’t hold these values. I have unwittingly or knowingly built these values into it, and substantiated this over time. I have surrounded myself by people who substantiate these ‘truths’ and when associating with other who have chosen to, or cannot, I have held the view inside that my ‘truths’ are of greater value than theirs, and ‘right’ for me.

Let me try another…”I need to get out and socialise every week”

Again, I can see how much I have invested in this. There is a sense of me running through an idea such as this, that I return to regularly and feel compelled to act upon or otherwise feel disappointed and frustrated. If I pull away the strands of truth then I see an idea around which circulate all my personal needs, expectations, values and wants. I am able to try to pull out the self I have invested in this idea.

Time to lower the SHIELDS and see what happens.

that [are] MORE OR LESS USEFUL

There are so many of these 'truths' that I have surrounded myself with. Some seem like old friends, that have helped me cope with life thus far. Others have clearly been harmful. Some seem easy to relax around, while others seem poised to fight for dear life. Where any of these truths present as soon as I was born, or have I picked them up along the way.

Anyway, here's to change.

Love, Iain

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Iain,

Ok, cool. Let's use a piece from the intro as a springboard...

What are you looking for? What do you expect from this?
Support to achieve that which I know already is possible: the self transformation of realising that the feature most present in our lives, the self, is simply an illusion which leads to many disadvantages. Support to actualise this within my life with methods that allow a swift turning around of old poor quality behaviour patterns.

Let's keep this inquiry very contained on your regular everyday experience of 'me'.

I want you become intrigued by how you know of the 'me' you take yourself to be.

Give me all the real experiential evidence you have for the existence of the everyday 'me'.

Especially any FEELINGS, SENSATIONS AND THOUGHTS that have this stamp of 'me' - such that when it's in evidence, the sense is, yep, me is in the building. :)

Thank you,
John

[IainB]

Hi John,

I kept a 'me' diary for part of the morning.

There seemed to be a lot of me in my morning sense of internal busyness. This is me, my routine. I delight in the feeling that I am motivated to make my morning work. I am separate, here in my flat. Only I know what I am up to. This is what I do. It works for me.

I felt a sense of anxiety that moves downwards from my shoulders. This was unpleasant but familiar. I wanted to push this away. I didn’t want this to be a part of me but it comes up. I need to do work to keep this becoming something that risks encroaching on me and becoming part of me.

A familiar sense of me accompanied fleeting thoughts of the bewildering and amusing nature of aspects of my life and they goings on of associates...I find events and reactions amusing, there is a part of me that copes with life by seeing its ridiculous nature. I like this quality of me.

Thoughts of my engagement with LU. A sense of anticipation that there will be a positive pay off from following these lines of reasoning. I will achieve something powerful. There is a me that will be rewarded, tempered by thoughts that this is mistaken and is in fact contrary to the path I want to follow...

A sense of me manifests as a simple overarching sense of continuity. There is a me here...I can feel it. Thoughts occur that I can easily just concede that there is a me...why not, after all there’s a this vague sense of me all around when I choose to pay attention to it a little...

Forever in gratitude for your guidance.

Love, Iain

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hey Iain,

Great work.

I kept a 'me' diary for part of the morning.

There seemed to be a lot of me in my morning sense of internal busyness. This is me, my routine. I delight in the feeling that I am motivated to make my morning work. I am separate, here in my flat. Only I know what I am up to. This is what I do. It works for me.

Really good. This is just everyday me, nothing special, my stuff, my flat, my morning work - it all works tickety-boo, what's the problem. :) That everyday sense of you is our interest. Not some weird idea of a 'self', but this very boring sense of you, probably quite vague and fluffy, yet distinct and here.

I felt a sense of anxiety that moves downwards from my shoulders. This was unpleasant but familiar. I wanted to push this away. I didn’t want this to be a part of me but it comes up. I need to do work to keep this becoming something that risks encroaching on me and becoming part of me.

These aspects Iain that are unpleasant, that we want to push away, perhaps relating to old beliefs and fears about this or that, we can set aside for the purposes of our inquiry. They are connected, but only loosely. It's good to keep laser-sharp on the target, rather than get distracted by 'personal issues', which are important, but we can come to that later.

We don't do this inquiry to feel better or solve problems, but only to clarify the lived assumption that this felt 'me' is a being within, at the heart of my life, running the show.

Ok?

A familiar sense of me accompanied fleeting thoughts of the bewildering and amusing nature of aspects of my life and they goings on of associates...I find events and reactions amusing, there is a part of me that copes with life by seeing its ridiculous nature. I like this quality of me.

It's a good quality. :)

Thoughts of my engagement with LU. A sense of anticipation that there will be a positive pay off from following these lines of reasoning. I will achieve something powerful. There is a me that will be rewarded, tempered by thoughts that this is mistaken and is in fact contrary to the path I want to follow...

Yeah, ME wants to be the enlightened one, have the power, be cool. :)

A sense of me manifests as a simple overarching sense of continuity. There is a me here...I can feel it. Thoughts occur that I can easily just concede that there is a me...why not, after all there’s a this vague sense of me all around when I choose to pay attention to it a little...

Let's take the stance that ME is all assumption. A cunning one. A lived one. Even a useful one at times. But all assumption nonetheless. We don't take this as truth, but we are going to give it the status of STRONG POSSIBILITY. :)


Bring a sense of me to the fore, and address it directly with the possibility of it being ALL ASSUMPTION. And therefore, made up. And therefore, having ZERO EXISTENCE as a being it had been assumed to be.


Share what you discover.

Forever in gratitude for your guidance.

Oh, its a pleasure.

/John

[IainB]

Hi John,

I've kept the Me under investigation simple, the general sense that there is someone in charge, a continuity of the mental and physical, that there is a wholly separate person here to promote, gratify and safeguard. A sense that seems to swim around my upper body. More closely inspected in focused thought with eyes closed.

I’ve watched my thoughts come up and viewed them as things appearing to the underlying Me. When swept away by positive thoughts I've remembered that these are just thoughts appearing to Me. I’ve remembered I'm not trying to create a situation where I can create a better Me that only has positive experience. There is no Me, regardless of the positive or negative experiences happening.

A thought arose..if I can overcome Me then I can live in a spiritual community and people will respect me for my realisation. I amused myself with the ridiculousness of this, and the games that the I likes to play with me. Steps away from seeing.

At times I've deliberately been gentle with this process. Thoughts of wanting it to be fun and light: looking beyond my body, thoughts and memories to glimpse the possibility of the Me disappearing. Thoughts of not wanting to push and see this work as an arduous fight that I must win. This would likely be the ego trying to set me up to fail and push me away from this opportunity. However, at the same time being brave and ready to embrace the new and unknown.

At all times seeing this as a new search. One unconstrained by any previous work I have done. Laying down my preconceptions. Enjoying the glimpses of the possibility of no Me and embracing this opportunity.

Thanks! Love, Iain

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Iain,

I've kept the Me under investigation simple, the general sense that there is someone in charge, a continuity of the mental and physical, that there is a wholly separate person here to promote, gratify and safeguard. A sense that seems to swim around my upper body. More closely inspected in focused thought with eyes closed.

Look and see if 'there is a sense' is actually some familiar sensations that are being called 'a sense' to elevate their status.

I’ve watched my thoughts come up and viewed them as things appearing to the underlying Me. When swept away by positive thoughts I've remembered that these are just thoughts appearing to Me. I’ve remembered I'm not trying to create a situation where I can create a better Me that only has positive experience. There is no Me, regardless of the positive or negative experiences happening.

You, that is 'Iain' have never thought a single thought. Shocking, I know.

Pick a number between 10 and 93.
This will appear either as an image on the number, or saying the number in the head, or both.
Either way, did you know what this number would be before it appeared?

Do this again, several times, till it is seen that the numbers show up and Iain had nothing to do with what is selected.

You might then ponder on the implications of that. If Iain wasn't behind a simple picked number, was he behind any thought from birth to now?

A thought arose..if I can overcome Me then I can live in a spiritual community and people will respect me for my realisation. I amused myself with the ridiculousness of this, and the games that the I likes to play with me. Steps away from seeing.

Yeah, we like to play games to salve the self.

At times I've deliberately been gentle with this process. Thoughts of wanting it to be fun and light: looking beyond my body, thoughts and memories to glimpse the possibility of the Me disappearing. Thoughts of not wanting to push and see this work as an arduous fight that I must win. This would likely be the ego trying to set me up to fail and push me away from this opportunity. However, at the same time being brave and ready to embrace the new and unknown.

That's a good approach.

At all times seeing this as a new search. One unconstrained by any previous work I have done. Laying down my preconceptions. Enjoying the glimpses of the possibility of no Me and embracing this opportunity.

Cool, and don't keep it at a distance. Dive in, intimate, soak into it.

Here you are, a grown man, pretending to be someone you're not.

Odd isn't it.

Best wishes,
John

[IainB]

Hi John,

Iain had nothing to do with what is selected

I love the simplicity of this method. Thoughts simply arise. There is no Me origin that is required as the source of thinking. It is as though they spring from darkness. It's tempting to go further and say that once thoughts have emerged, there is no Me that owns them, but there still feels to be a Me experiencing them. I need to work further on this one.

However, I am enjoying the warmth of the sensation that there is no Me underlying the thoughts that arise. I want to make friends with no Me. Having said that, I feel I don't want to create thoughts and feelings that are a synthetic version of what seeing may actually be. That's to follow.

Dive in, intimate, soak into it...here you are, a grown man, pretending to be someone you're not.

This is delightfully encouraging. Using the LU 'app' and watching the youtube videos embedded in the site have triggered a lot of this lightness and warmth today...thoughts, body, but no Me.

A friend told me yesterday, in the context of his contrasting personality girlfriend challenging him..."I'm enjoying being proved wrong". I'm enjoying being proved wrong and would like a whole lot more of being proved wrong.

Love, Iain

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Iain,

I love the simplicity of this method. Thoughts simply arise. There is no Me origin that is required as the source of thinking. It is as though they spring from darkness. It's tempting to go further and say that once thoughts have emerged, there is no Me that owns them, but there still feels to be a Me experiencing them. I need to work further on this one.

It is indeed as though they spring from darkness. But again, we don't want to make up new beliefs, we just observe what we see. And we observe a number, for example. Or we observe an image, or sound. I'd rather not come to any conclusions about anything. :)

So, the assumption was that 'I', 'Iain' think up a number. And you look at this, and what you see is a number, the value of which you had no clue. At the very least, we might say from this one observation, that this particular kind of thinking did not match up to our old assumptions about it.

We can't even say there is no Me origin of thinking, all that happened was, we looked and didn't see any evidence of Me in the picking of a number.

It's not so much that there is No Me, which might end up becoming a Gnome :D but that what we're calling Me is a fabrication, and therefore, this Me which you deem real and true, is not, and never was real and true, by virtue of being made-up!

However, I am enjoying the warmth of the sensation that there is no Me underlying the thoughts that arise. I want to make friends with no Me. Having said that, I feel I don't want to create thoughts and feelings that are a synthetic version of what seeing may actually be. That's to follow.

There is no no Me. Just the absence of what was deemed real i.e. Me.

Dive in, intimate, soak into it...here you are, a grown man, pretending to be someone you're not.

This is delightfully encouraging. Using the LU 'app' and watching the youtube videos embedded in the site have triggered a lot of this lightness and warmth today...thoughts, body, but no Me.

Cool, but watch out for that Gnome.

A friend told me yesterday, in the context of his contrasting personality girlfriend challenging him..."I'm enjoying being proved wrong". I'm enjoying being proved wrong and would like a whole lot more of being proved wrong.

Well, you can see from observation what is and isn't happening, compared to what we assume to be happening.

There is nothing tricky in this, its very straightforward.

There are two things side by side:

1. I feel to be me.
2. I can find no evidence of me beyond regular feelings that I deem to call Me.

For example, lift up the hand to eye level. You will see 1 and 2 in this.

Have a go and share what happens.

best wishes,
John

[IainB]

Hi John,

There is no no Me. Just the absence of what was deemed real i.e. Me.

I can see where I was going wrong here and worked on the risk of creating a No Me (the gnome).

Instead seeing that “what we're calling Me is a fabrication” I worked on this and got my head around it. I see the temptation to identify something new, where instead I need to see what isn’t there.

There is nothing tricky in this, it’s very straightforward.
There are two things side by side:
1. I feel to be me.
2. I can find no evidence of me beyond regular feelings that I deem to call Me.

I thought about this for a while then repeated it over and over, avoiding trying to fabricate a No Me but instead see.

I shall keep trying.

Love, Iain

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Iain,

I can see where I was going wrong here and worked on the risk of creating a No Me (the gnome).

You wouldn't be the first. :)

There is nothing tricky in this, it’s very straightforward.
There are two things side by side:
1. I feel to be me.
2. I can find no evidence of me beyond regular feelings that I deem to call Me.

I thought about this for a while then repeated it over and over, avoiding trying to fabricate a No Me but instead see.

Here's the thing. Observe something that isn't there. Isn't going to happen is it. :)
So that is not what we're doing i.e. trying to see no me, or there is no self, all that stuff.
We're not doing that.

What we're doing is observing what IS HERE - namely feelings, sensations, thoughts, perceptions etc.

And in particular, we're inquiring into this notion, which feels so strong to us, and we're so used to, that I am me, and me is who I am, and me is in me, and me thinks, speaks, walks and farts.

Me is this intimate persona that feels so close, feels like, well me. Convincing as hell.

That is me. That is what we're looking what, with the question: is this me a real being, or not?

And we are progressing by step by step looking at areas in which it seemed obvious that me what at the helm, such as thinking.

And we did the pick a number exercise and found that, from direct observation, the number appeared. We had no clue what it was. We did it several times, same response.

So, that assumption of me as the thinker has taken a little hit, but not much of one.

Tell you what, watch for the next thought - whatever it is, and see if me was behind it.

Share what you discover - whatever it is.

Many thanks,
John

[IainB]

Hi John,

I have been watching how my thoughts spring from an apparent nothingness. At times I have been very involved in the moment, amongst the business of others, subsumed into an I being at the centre of activity. Then, I have tried to remember that there is no Me in the midst of this. I have tried to see the myriad thoughts arising and sensations and how they arise. Me may feel overwhelmingly to be present...but all of the sensations do not come from a a Me.

Tell you what, watch for the next thought - whatever it is, and see if me was behind it.

This exercise is great. Sometimes the thought that comes seems drenched in previous Me...but it is still possible to notice that it is a memory or thought that before had a lot of Me in it, but isn't appearing now to anyone that is there.

I will keep trying.

Love, Iain

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Iain,

No need to try, just observe. :)

When a thought comes and goes, wait for the next. Explore what its like to wait to see what the next thought will be.

Even in the midst of an interaction. Wait to see what comes out the mouth, what idea springs to the head.

Your job is to feel into that space of waiting to see what will come. :) Be surprised. :D

Have a lovely weekend!
John

[IainB]

Hi John,

This is great advice. I will take it as my guidance as I interact in coming hours and days, and feedback.

I had a moment of clarity today where I saw how pristine raw consciousness is, when thoughts of me have subsided and I'm not busy with a torrent of thoughts. I was pulled back by the presence of a friend, but had she not been there I may never have had this. Will aim to repeat :-)

I'm on holiday until early feb so this will influence my posting (hopefully positively!).

Your job is to feel into that space of waiting to see what will come. :) Be surprised.

Task accepted.

Love, Iain

[s-p-a-c-e]

Great - thanks Iain. :)

[IainB]

Hi John,

While waiting for the next thought my senses seem poised to send thoughts flooding in, as if I am a blank canvas...then soon a thought arises.

The space of waiting allows a gentle seeing through...a pleasant antidote to occasional wishes to push this I away which really may just strengthen it. I remember to simply observe.

The qualities of such waiting feel kind of indescribable. There is nothing to grasp there that has describable characteristics, but there does seem to be a background hum of energy.

At times there is a familiar sense of Me holding this all together. Thoughts arise with a familiar invitation to respond to them. At other times a pleasant spaciousness remains...delightful thoughts from the past arise triggered by events now...these have a lightness and freshness not easily accessed before.

Thoughts occur that I can experience this freshly, without having to string a Me along with it.

Anyways...some thoughts, a little disjointed as from across a few days.

Much love, Iain