Guidence

[Andrei]

This body has a different mind screen where different things appear so it still feels separate...??

Well they are separate and they aren`t. On a microscopical level all matter is simply a dance of particle. When you focus your attention on a particle it becomes somehow fixed, hence matter appearing solid when you look at that respective object. You create objects by looking at it. - or at least that`s what I remember from the quantum physics I was reading back in the days. I might not be the most reliable source of information on this one :D
Anyway, things are, other bodies exist. As long as there is no identification everything is all right.

Ok, we are almost there.
I want you to do a short scan to everything in and around you: your life, body, thoughts, things you like or dislike, your awareness, the others, experiences, outcomes, everything, and see if you find an I/self/ego that you identify with.
Is there anything left? Is there an "I" or is life simply living? Are there any doubts at all about seeing through the illusion of the separate self?

[starryeyes]

Hi Andrei,

Yes there is still doubt, its so frustrating!!! Being right on the edge, wanting to jump, needing to jump, but being stuck, glued to this spot!!
Its right there...why cant it be seen..??
Could you please give some more exercises??

[Andrei]

Don`t despair Mandy. You`ll get there. I think you`re old "self" is just waging its last battle and it gives everything it got. (I`m speaking metaphorically of course. There is no self and there is no you)

Did you do that short scan I asked you to? What did you discover? Take as much time as you need.

Those feelings of doubt and frustration. In DE go to their root. What do they point to? What is there to fear?

Second, the emotions you feel (including fear and frustration) - who are they happening to?

And third, can you see fear as just a protective mechanism? Is there actually anything that can be harmed?

Let`s talk about death. (Sorry to get morbid but I`m a bit short of ideas :D) Are you afraid of it? Are you afraid to see you don`t exist? Is there anything you`re clinging to? Is there a Mandy in DE?

Basically whenever you feel like you`re getting stuck go back to direct experience, deconstruct that thought/emotion/feeling and see what`s left.

[starryeyes]

Hi Andrei,

Its a word play...There are no nouns in actual experience, there are only verbs..??
I am writing these words .."I" is a noun/thought," writing" is a verb," words", is a noun.

Feel like this needs investigating, yes?
can you give any ideas to help??

[starryeyes]

Can explain the process to deconstruct the I/ thought/feeling please?

[Andrei]

Its a word play...There are no nouns in actual experience, there are only verbs..??
I am writing these words .."I" is a noun/thought," writing" is a verb," words", is a noun.

Feel like this needs investigating, yes?
can you give any ideas to help??

That "word play" it`s you thinking instead of looking. Instead of seeing the big picture you`re getting lost in details. Who cares about nouns and verbs? You`re supposed to be looking for that which you identify with. You know that expression "the devil is in the details"? That`s because they are not helping you.

Can explain the process to deconstruct the I/ thought/feeling please?

It`s direct experience. Take a big issue that bothers you and you don`t know where to grab it from. Let`s say fear of no self.
Then you watch in direct experience what is going on, where is it coming from. Is it a thought? Is it a sensation? Let`s say it`s a thought. You see it popping in and out on your mental screen. Do you identify with that thought? No. Then you move on to the next bit that seem to emerge from the "fear of no self", and so on. When you don`t identify with the parts, you don`t identify with the whole either. And you do that for everything you encounter that seems problematic.

Please do those exercise I asked you to. That shift will not happen until you start taking charge of the process.

[starryeyes]

Hi Andrei,
Thanks for the wake up call!

Defiantly got stuck in the illusion..!

[quote

I want you to do a short scan to everything in and around you: your life, body, thoughts, things you like or dislike, your awareness, the others, experiences, outcomes, everything, and see if you find an I/self/ego that you identify with.
Is there anything left? Is there an "I" or is life simply living? Are there any doubts at all about seeing through the illusion of the separate self?

In real life there is only life happening. There is no "I" in real life, only a story of a "me" looking to find a "self".
Those feelings of doubt and frustration are just that! Feelings and thoughts. They are part of the story of a "me" who is doubting there is a "me"!!


[quote

Second, the emotions you feel (including fear and frustration) - who are they happening to?

And third, can you see fear as just a protective mechanism? Is there actually anything that can be harmed?

They are not happening to anyone. They are just happening. The emotion "fear" is just a thought plus labeling. Its nothing, only the belief in the thought "fear" can be lost. It cant harm anyone, its just a word..


[quote

Let`s talk about death. (Sorry to get morbid but I`m a bit short of ideas :D) Are you afraid of it? Are you afraid to see you don`t exist? Is there anything you`re clinging to? Is there a Mandy in DE?

There is no death as we know it. There is only death of the story of "self", "I", "me".
The body dies, the story dies. There is no Mandy in real life, only a story of mandy. When "I" said "Its so frustrating, being right on the edge, wanting to jump, needing to jump but being stuck, glued to this spot.
That is just a thought, its also part of the story, the story of a seeker, seeking no self.

Many thanks..

[Andrei]

You did great. Good job Mandy :)

I want you to do a short scan to everything in and around you: your life, body, thoughts, things you like or dislike, your awareness, the others, experiences, outcomes, everything, and see if you find an I/self/ego that you identify with.
Is there anything left? Is there an "I" or is life simply living? Are there any doubts at all about seeing through the illusion of the separate self?

In real life there is only life happening. There is no "I" in real life, only a story of a "me" looking to find a "self".
Those feelings of doubt and frustration are just that! Feelings and thoughts. They are part of the story of a "me" who is doubting there is a "me"!!

Sounds good but it feels a bit general. The point of the exercise was for you to look in every corner of your mind, in every secret room and in every dusty attic and see whether you find an "I", an illusion with which identification still happens. Are you positive there is no "I" anywhere and that it`s all a story?

Yes there is still doubt, its so frustrating!!! Being right on the edge, wanting to jump, needing to jump, but being stuck, glued to this spot!!
Its right there...why cant it be seen..??

Do you still feel those doubts and frustrations taking over you or did you started to really see all the struggles as simply part of the story?
Did your shift in perception happen? Did you jump off the bridge? :D
-----
When the “I” has been seen through, fully and completely, what's left?
-----

[starryeyes]

Hi Andrei,

There is severe weather here at the moment. We have just lost power.
Will get back to you tomorow with those answers.
Cheers Mandy..x

[starryeyes]

Hi Andrei,
Survived the wild weather!!

[quote

Are you positive there is no "I" anywhere and that it`s all a story?

Yes positive there is no "I" anywhere, except in the story. It still feels abit like "Mandy" comes back and what has always been gets abit hazy sometimes. Being a mother there is a strong identification with that.
Like yesterday it was so clear, no effort required but today it seems to take more effort, but it cannot be fully unseen.


[quote

Do you still feel those doubts and frustrations taking over you or did you started to really see all the struggles as simply part of the story?
Did your shift in perception happen? Did you jump off the bridge

Yes those doubts and frustrations have been fully seen for what they are and have always been.
Yes the shift has happened but not to anyone, there has never been anyone. What has always been has been seen!
Yes "Im" off the bridge and falling away..


[quote

When the “I” has been seen through, fully and completely, what's left?

What is left is whats happening now, actual experience. Thoughts come, feelings come, but they dont belong to anyone. whats left is a peaceful feeling, calmness, relaxation. There isnt and never was a separate "I" having all these experiences, thoughts, feelings. They are real but they arent happening to a "me". They are just happening.
There is boundless energy and excitement when waking up each day because anything is possible. "I" can just relax and "Be". There is only being-ness.. The others, objects,animals, plants are all parts of this being-ness. It is effortless, everything is effortless..

Cheers...

[Andrei]

Lovely to see you again. Glad you survived the weather, at least until you go through the gate so I can feel good about my guiding skills :D

It still feels abit like "Mandy" comes back and what has always been gets abit hazy sometimes. Being a mother there is a strong identification with that.

Totally understandable. Stories will not go away just because you see them as stories. But keep at it and they will lose pretty much all of their strength.

Lovely answers all around. I`m going to pester you some more I`m afraid. I have 6 final questions. They encompass everything we talked about so some thing will repeat themselves, but if there`s anything left unchecked now they will come to life. Again, take your time and enjoy.

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1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?
-----

[starryeyes]

Hi Andrei,

[quote1)

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No there is no separate entity, self ,me,I, at all. There never has been.

[quote2)

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.]

Illusion of separate self begins earlty in life, as babies. When we believe the labels, given to us and other things, are real.We just get more and more confused and believe our thoughts. We go from just experience to believing experience is happening to "us". Then we believe we are a separate self that is experiencing a separate life, not realising that all there is is experience, not separate experience. Now what is seen here is all we ever know of experience is the knowing of it. We are that knowing. Experience happens and the mind labels it, eg: "I smiled" but what really happened is the experience smiling happened and the thought "I smiled" comes after the actual and is believed. "I smiled" is a story about what happened in the now. So "I" am not smiling, smiling is just happening. The "I" does not exsist in the moment, it comes after.

[quote3)

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?

It feels clear to really see this. Before it was only understood, now it is known. It feels like the end of something but at the same time it is really the beginning of everything. Everything is the same but also everything is different.
It feels restful but at the same time full of energy.

[quote4

) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It was the build up of frustration that it couldnt be seen. When this was let go of it became clear. Really seeing what thoughts were and the difference between actual experience and thoughts was very helpful.

5)

Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.[

There is no-one making decisions or having intention. Free will , choice and control are part of the story of a separate self who is in control of their apparant life. They are just thoughts.
Nothing makes things happen, they just happen. No-one is responsible for anything because there is no-one. There is only the knowing of experience, Awareness. It is always now, it never left. All the thoughts/feelings are happening in this awareness.They come and go, awareness never changes, it is all there is, ever.


[quote6)

Anything to add?

"I" would like to thank myself for showing myself, myself!!
(God words are weird!!)
Still dont know how to use the quote function properly, sorry!!!

[Andrei]

Wait, you`re a liberated being and you still can`t do the quote thingie!? :D

Neither me, nor the other guides have any more questions for you. Welcome to the other of the gate.
I`m glad we had this chat and glad you made it Mandy :)
Soon you`ll receive a PM from one of our admins who will give you more info about what happens next.