The Gate

Hey Kay

Here are the experiences...

What exactly is it that is “feeling” sensation?
Have a look…is there a dividing line (a gap) between the “feeler” and what is “felt”? Or is “feeler/felt” one and the same?

There is no line between the feeler and what is felt, it is all the same. There is only feeling. As soon as the “feeler” seems to appear and what is “felt” seems to come up, there is only thinking adds to what is happening...no one to feel, nothing to be felt

Close the eyes for 10 or so minutes and just notice thoughts and see if you can find a gap between thoughts.
Can you find where one thought ends and another begins?
Let me know how you go.

I can’t find any gaps between thoughts, there seems to be an endless flow. There is only one feeling, that is added between them and it is the feeling of awareness, but now it seems like another thought to me...not only a thought, but a concept created by sensations and images.

What exactly is it that is seeing a “feeling of emptiness”?
Can you find anyone/anything that is “trying to push away thoughts”?
How is it known that thoughts become “more intense”?

There is nothing, that is seeing and there is no one to try to push away thoughts.
Well, intensity is another concept, that is made of images and sensations.

Yes, however, what is this “thinking” happening to? What exactly is it that is “thinking”? Is there someone/something “thinking” or are there thoughts appearing which are then labelled as “someone thinking”?

There is no one, that thinking is happening to. There is nothing, that is happening to me or for me. There is nothing, that it is happening to or for. It is just happening. The trees don’t grow for something, the rain doesn’t fall for something. Stuff just happens and the thinking just happens. There is no one to be seen, that it is happening. When you look the concept of someone it is happening to is created by thinking in images and sensations, but behind those images there are more images, until there is nothing left.

So, have a LOOK. If there is no “me” choosing thoughts, then please locate the “something” else that maybe “choosing them” and describe where this “something” is located in precise detail.

When I look there is nothing to be found. After looking for “something” “everywhere”, nothing is “found”. Not “under the table”, not “behind the sofa”, not “in the closet” so to speak. But the feeling of “something” is there. It’s like believing in God. When you look for it anywhere, it is not there. But feeling is still there. It comes back as thoughts from time to time. What is this feeling? Is it still clinging to the concept of self? When I look I see only thoughts...the thinking is happening, but “that feeling”.. Hmmmmm...like a fog. It’s not that clear today.

Update: When I read and look right now, which is over an hour later, after writing that paragraph above,, the “feeling” is gone. Just like any other thought it was there and passed. No more “clinging” is felt.

What exactly is it that is “thinking”?
Is there a “thinker” or are thoughts just appearing and appearing to no one/nothing?
So it is seen that there is no one/nothing ‘choosing’ what thoughts appear, is there anyone/anything that is choosing between thoughts to make decisions?

There is no thinker, as it can’t be found anywhere by looking. As I see it, when I look, there is nothing in between the thoughts so to speak. There is always something in the consciousness, a sound, a sensation, a thought, a smell, a taste, a constant stream of life. Always something is going on :) There is nothing to control and no one to control it.

So it is seen there is no “controller” of thoughts, that thoughts appear and disappear - can there be anyone/anything that is ‘controlling’ anything…including ‘life’?

The direct experience of life shows, that everything is just happening .There is nobody, that controls anything. The idea of control is just a thought, that appears as a part of life flowing. The idea of “control” in me is thinking after thinking reinforced by sensations, that is followed by more thinking. It is very exciting how ridiculous the idea of control is, when you look and see through it. It feels like this is what I needed to see, but the thinking might cloud this vision for now often. It’s not that clear and permanent (Another thought)?

There is disturbance by various experiences, that arise through the day and the feeling of need to control comes back in waves :)

I think almost all of the stuff above was from AE. I try to be as honest as possible :)

Have a wonderful day, Kay!

Hi Peter,

Once again you did some terrific LOOKING. I hope you had a lovely weekend.

There is no line between the feeler and what is felt, it is all the same. There is only feeling. As soon as the “feeler” seems to appear and what is “felt” seems to come up, there is only thinking adds to what is happening...no one to feel, nothing to be felt

Yes, so there is only sensation appearing, but it is not appearing to anyone or anything. Is this clear?

I can’t find any gaps between thoughts, there seems to be an endless flow. There is only one feeling, that is added between them and it is the feeling of awareness, but now it seems like another thought to me...not only a thought, but a concept created by sensations and images.

Nice looking – yes “awareness” is a concept.
Is there really something/someone that is aware or are there thoughts ABOUT “awareness”? Is "knowing" (awareness), separate from what is “known" (being “awared”), or are they one and the same experience?

When you look the concept of someone it is happening to is created by thinking in images and sensations, but behind those images there are more images, until there is nothing left.

There is never a time when there are no colour/images. Everything that is ‘seen’ is an image whether it be visual or a mental image. There is no difference between a tree that is ‘seen’ and a tree that appears as a mental image…both are AE of colour/image.

When I look there is nothing to be found. After looking for “something” “everywhere”, nothing is “found”. Not “under the table”, not “behind the sofa”, not “in the closet” so to speak. But the feeling of “something” is there. It’s like believing in God. When you look for it anywhere, it is not there. But feeling is still there. It comes back as thoughts from time to time. What is this feeling? Is it still clinging to the concept of self? When I look I see only thoughts...the thinking is happening, but “that feeling”.. Hmmmmm...like a fog. It’s not that clear today.
Update: When I read and look right now, which is over an hour later, after writing that paragraph above,, the “feeling” is gone. Just like any other thought it was there and passed. No more “clinging” is felt.

Let’s investigate this further. Can I ask you to sit for a few minutes and close your eyes and just focus on this “feeling of something”. What does it point to? Does it have a particular location?
Report back what you find.

There is no thinker, as it can’t be found anywhere by looking. As I see it, when I look, there is nothing in between the thoughts so to speak. There is always something in the consciousness, a sound, a sensation, a thought, a smell, a taste, a constant stream of life. Always something is going on :) There is nothing to control and no one to control it.

Yes, thought is always interpreting even when it seems that there are no thoughts appearing.

The direct experience of life shows, that everything is just happening .There is nobody, that controls anything. The idea of control is just a thought, that appears as a part of life flowing. The idea of “control” in me is thinking after thinking reinforced by sensations, that is followed by more thinking. It is very exciting how ridiculous the idea of control is, when you look and see through it. It feels like this is what I needed to see, but the thinking might cloud this vision for now often. It’s not that clear and permanent (Another thought)?

Great! The thought “it’s not that clear and permanent” is just another thought appearing among all the other thoughts which seems to point to something/someone who can lose clarity.
Can you find this someone/something, or is it only a thought ABOUT someone/something that can lose clarity?

There is disturbance by various experiences, that arise through the day and the feeling of need to control comes back in waves :)

What exactly is it that can be “disturbed by various experiences”?
Can anything be found that can lose or gain control or are there only thoughts ABOUT something that can lose and gain control?


Let’s have a look at what it is that can be disturbed by “various experiences”. Here is an interesting exercise in how labels do not have a one-to-one correspondence with reality:

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But they don't. It is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN’, what is the actual experience?
Is the colour red experienced, or is the colour green experienced as the label suggests?
Do the labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’?
Or do the labels suggest something else other than what is here and now (red colour)?
Is green-ness inherent attributes of the experience of the colour red, or is green just a word label on the experience of the colour red?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’, is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?
Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no effect whatsoever on ‘reality’?


Please answer all questions highlighted in blue.

Love, Kay

Once again you did some terrific LOOKING. I hope you had a lovely weekend.

Great :) The life just flows. Not sure I experience “weekends” like I used to, but all is awesome anyway! How was yours?

Yes, so there is only sensation appearing, but it is not appearing to anyone or anything. Is this clear?

Yes, it is very much clear now...

Is there really something/someone that is aware or are there thoughts ABOUT “awareness”? Is "knowing" (awareness), separate from what is “known" (being “awared”), or are they one and the same experience?

There is no one, that is aware, there are images and sensations about awareness. There is a concept of “peace” associated with the concept of awareness, all of this brings “pleasant” sensations. All of this is flowing in the now. Then all of this disappears and something else appears. No one, that knows what is happening...

Let’s investigate this further. Can I ask you to sit for a few minutes and close your eyes and just focus on this “feeling of something”. What does it point to? Does it have a particular location?
Report back what you find.

There is no feeling of this right now, so there is nothing to report. There is no one, who can focus and nothing to focus on. If this comes back in any way, then I will look.

Great! The thought “it’s not that clear and permanent” is just another thought appearing among all the other thoughts which seems to point to something/someone who can lose clarity.
Can you find this someone/something, or is it only a thought ABOUT someone/something that can lose clarity?

No, there is nothing….this is only a thought. The clarity is another image. What is there to lose? What is losing?

What exactly is it that can be “disturbed by various experiences”?
Can anything be found that can lose or gain control or are there only thoughts ABOUT something that can lose and gain control?

The is nothing, that can be disturbed and there is no disturbance
When looking there is nothing, that can gain or lose anything. The stream of thought about losing or gaining are appearing and disappearing.

Let’s have a look at what it is that can be disturbed by “various experiences”. Here is an interesting exercise in how labels do not have a one-to-one correspondence with reality:

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But they don't. It is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN’, what is the actual experience?
Is the colour red experienced, or is the colour green experienced as the label suggests?

When I look at the label ‘GREEN’ the actual experience is the red color, image appearing, then the thinking creates some images of the green. The label ‘GREEN’ creates the sense of label “confusion” for the label “mind”, then steam of thinking appears, but it in reality there is only experience of the red, the rest is the product of thoughts and images.

Do the labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’?
Or do the labels suggest something else other than what is here and now (red colour)?

The labels have nothing to do with reality. Labels create a “feeling” of something, that doesn't exist. They distort the reality and create “confusion”.

Is green-ness inherent attributes of the experience of the colour red, or is green just a word label on the experience of the colour red?

“Green” is just a label, but there is an actual experience of the color “red”.

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’, is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?
Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no effect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

The actual experience of image red is not affected by labels “green”, “good” or “bad”. The reality of AE “red” is not affected by any labels attached to it.

This is the reason there is so much misunderstanding in the world. Many different labels are attached to the same reality and this creates conflict. Someone sees red, someone sees green, someone seems good and someone sees bad. How can anyone agree on reality if it is created by labels?

Sorry for intellectualizing again :)

Hi Peter,

Time to check in to make sure that when answering questions that LOOKING is taking place and not just answering from what is already seemingly known. LOOKING constantly and consistently is what brings forth (so to speak) the realisation that there is no separate individual. Every question is for that purpose...for the purpose of LOOKING and not for the purpose of answering questions right.

Great :) The life just flows. Not sure I experience “weekends” like I used to, but all is awesome anyway! How was yours?

Weekends just seem to flow into week days and week days into weekends!

Is there really something/someone that is aware or are there thoughts ABOUT “awareness”? Is "knowing" (awareness), separate from what is “known" (being “awared”), or are they one and the same experience?

There is no one, that is aware, there are images and sensations about awareness. There is a concept of “peace” associated with the concept of awareness, all of this brings “pleasant” sensations. All of this is flowing in the now. Then all of this disappears and something else appears. No one, that knows what is happening...

There is still an idea of awareness here and that concepts are happening to a someone/something who is flowing through life. Putting inverted comma’s around words doesn’t take away from the fact that what you wrote is a story! There is only life flowing freely as one reality. There is no one/nothing experiencing life.

So to what are concepts appearing/happening to? Concepts are stories and stories are made up of a stream of thoughts (which are AE) but what the thoughts are about are just that….stories/concepts. What is it exactly that is aware of concepts?

To what are pleasant sensations appearing/happening to? What exactly is it that defines what is peaceful and what isn’t and what is a pleasant sensation and what isn’t?

Does a sensation suggest in any way that it is pleasant or unpleasant?
Does a thought itself suggest in any way that it is pleasant or unpleasant?
Does the label “peace” suggest in any way that it is peaceful?

When I look at the label ‘GREEN’ the actual experience is the red color, image appearing, then the thinking creates some images of the green. The label ‘GREEN’ creates the sense of label “confusion” for the label “mind”, then steam of thinking appears, but it in reality there is only experience of the red, the rest is the product of thoughts and images.

How exactly does thinking create images of green? What is it that is thinking?

Thought layers concepts over actual experience. A thought/label or concept is never the actual. Some thoughts point to the actual, and some point to other thoughts.

Do the labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’?
Or do the labels suggest something else other than what is here and now (red colour)?

The labels have nothing to do with reality. Labels create a “feeling” of something, that doesn't exist. They distort the reality and create “confusion”.

So what is this “feeling”? What is “feeling” this “feeling”?
Look carefully…is it a “feeling” or is it a thought that says something is creating a “feeling”?
Where can this “feeling” be found. Point to it and then tell me where you pointed to.


Actual experience is everything, except, the "content" of thought, because thought does not contain any experience. If thought contained experience then the label “sweet” would taste sweet.

Is green-ness inherent attributes of the experience of the colour red, or is green just a word label on the experience of the colour red?

“Green” is just a label, but there is an actual experience of the color “red”.

Yes. Thoughts/labels either point to AE or to concepts/thought stories.

For example, the thought “blue sky”.

The label “blue” is AE of thought but points to AE of colour.
The label “sky” is AE of thought but points to concepts/stories.

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’, is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?
Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no effect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

The actual experience of image red is not affected by labels “green”, “good” or “bad”. The reality of AE “red” is not affected by any labels attached to it.

Exactly, so experience is not affected/changed by the stories that thought points to.

Let's have a look at a rose.



What is a rose? Perhaps a nice red and green flower with a pleasant smell and some sharp thorns?
But look again - all that is ‘actually’ present are red and green, a nice smell and maybe an 'ouch' sensation. The ‘rose itself’ is only a story.

Notice that all things that seem to exist are just like the rose, just fictional stories about experience.
Beyond the story, can any of them be found to exist at all? Is this clear?

This is the reason there is so much misunderstanding in the world. Many different labels are attached to the same reality and this creates conflict. Someone sees red, someone sees green, someone seems good and someone sees bad. How can anyone agree on reality if it is created by labels?

There is a belief here that what is seen (the world) is real and that there are people who are living life and who are in conflict.

What exactly is attaching labels to reality?

The label "other people" is the AE of thought and not the AE of other people
The colours labelled as "other people" are AE of colour/image and not the AE of other people.
The sounds labelled as "other people" are AE of sound and not the AE of other people.
The sensation labelled as "other people" are AE of sensation and not the AE of other people

So, do other people actually exist? No.
What is the AE of "other people"? What is actually there is label + colours/image + sound + sensation.
Can you see this?

Love, Kay

Can you see this?

Yes, Kay, I see it...

My next reply might take a bit more time. I will let more looking happen and get back to you...

Thank you very much for all the guidance!

Hey Kay!

What's new with you?

Here is some of my looking...

There is still an idea of awareness here and that concepts are happening to a someone/something who is flowing through life. Putting inverted comma’s around words doesn’t take away from the fact that what you wrote is a story! There is only life flowing freely as one reality. There is no one/nothing experiencing life.

So to what are concepts appearing/happening to? Concepts are stories and stories are made up of a stream of thoughts (which are AE) but what the thoughts are about are just that….stories/concepts. What is it exactly that is aware of concepts?

Nothing is aware of these concepts. Yesterday I took some long walks and was looking...when I take the walk through the park there are streams of experiences arise in consciousness. The feeling of peace being surrounded by nature, then some person approaches and there are other thoughts and feelings arise from the programmed mind, some anxieties, judgements. But they don’t happen to anybody, they just do appear and then disappear. It’s all the same as before, but no I in any of it.

Anything, that I would write here would be just a story, the reality isn’t possible to describe with words.

To what are pleasant sensations appearing/happening to? What exactly is it that defines what is peaceful and what isn’t and what is a pleasant sensation and what isn’t?
Does a sensation suggest in any way that it is pleasant or unpleasant?
Does a thought itself suggest in any way that it is pleasant or unpleasant?
Does the label “peace” suggest in any way that it is peaceful?

They don’t appear to anything. They just do appear. All these suggestions are just thoughts. Nothing else.

Peace, pleasantness...are just mix of AE, which are then labeled as such. The idea, that there is someone, who can achieve peace or get pleasure or avoid stress and unpleasantness is absurd.

How exactly does thinking create images of green? What is it that is thinking?

Heh, thinking doesn’t “create” images, they just appear.

So what is this “feeling”? What is “feeling” this “feeling”?
Look carefully…is it a “feeling” or is it a thought that says something is creating a “feeling”?
Where can this “feeling” be found. Point to it and then tell me where you pointed to.

It’s not anywhere. It is just a thought.

I am sitting right now and typing this. There are various experiences, that arise. It feels like I am out of words to explain some things and there is a strong feeling of what seems like resistance to writing all of this. I need to choose words carefully, so there is no confusion. A part of me wants to end this endless play with words forever. But these are all just thoughts. I am not sitting here and typing anything, there is nothing, that I am feeling. There is no resistance and no escape. The life is just happening and it’s not happening to anyone.

There is nothing even, that I am aware of. This feeling of awareness is just another thinking happening. It came yesterday, when walking. These thought were programmed with the “practice of awareness” and each time these thoughts appeared I felt like “I am aware”.

Beyond the story, can any of them be found to exist at all? Is this clear?
So, do other people actually exist? No.
What is the AE of "other people"? What is actually there is label + colours/image + sound + sensation.
Can you see this?

I can see this clearly.

There isn’t much I can add or elaborate. It all seems so simple now.

Enjoy your day!

Hi Peter,

What's new with you?

Well it’s Friday and once again the week has just flowed by and another weekend is dawning!

Nothing is aware of these concepts. Yesterday I took some long walks and was looking...when I take the walk through the park there are streams of experiences arise in consciousness. The feeling of peace being surrounded by nature, then some person approaches and there are other thoughts and feelings arise from the programmed mind, some anxieties, judgements. But they don’t happen to anybody, they just do appear and then disappear. It’s all the same as before, but no I in any of it.

Lovely, Peter.

So next time you go for a walk in the park….notice not things (ie trees, grass, people) but notice them as actual experience. Notice colour, sound, sensation, smell and so on.

The idea of a “programmed mind” is also a concept. What exactly is it that has a “programmed mind”. Objects/people/things cannot cause an effect as there are no separate ‘things’. What is actually appearing is colour + thought + sensation and it is only another thought that says there is a correlation between the colour, thought and the sensation.

Peace, pleasantness...are just mix of AE, which are then labeled as such. The idea, that there is someone, who can achieve peace or get pleasure or avoid stress and unpleasantness is absurd.

Wonderful!

So what is this “feeling”? What is “feeling” this “feeling”?
Look carefully…is it a “feeling” or is it a thought that says something is creating a “feeling”?
Where can this “feeling” be found. Point to it and then tell me where you pointed to.

It’s not anywhere. It is just a thought.

Yes! :)

I am sitting right now and typing this. There are various experiences, that arise. It feels like I am out of words to explain some things and there is a strong feeling of what seems like resistance to writing all of this. I need to choose words carefully, so there is no confusion. A part of me wants to end this endless play with words forever. But these are all just thoughts. I am not sitting here and typing anything, there is nothing, that I am feeling. There is no resistance and no escape. The life is just happening and it’s not happening to anyone.

Lovely clarity.
I know I can be frustrating when I push for clearer language etc, but it is for your benefit. I would be remiss if I didn’t check to see where you are coming from….story or true seeing. My desire is for you to see through the illusion of the separate individual and I guide to this end….even when it seems pedantic and repetitive.

There is nothing even, that I am aware of. This feeling of awareness is just another thinking happening. It came yesterday, when walking. These thought were programmed with the “practice of awareness” and each time these thoughts appeared I felt like “I am aware”.

Really nice looking and a great discovery! :)

There isn’t much I can add or elaborate. It all seems so simple now.

Now that is simply beautiful :)

Let’s look at the idea of control, choice and decisions.

1. Place both hands on a table in front of you, palms down.
2. When you have done that, rest for a moment and then raise one hand in the air but not the other.

Don't go to thoughts, examine the actual experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire…

What is it exactly that is choosing which hand to raise?
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is doing the choosing?
What is it that is controlling the hand?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
Can anything be found that makes the hand move?
How is the decision made?

Have a lovely weekend, Peter.

Love, Kay

The idea of a “programmed mind” is also a concept. What exactly is it that has a “programmed mind”. Objects/people/things cannot cause an effect as there are no separate ‘things’. What is actually appearing is colour + thought + sensation and it is only another thought that says there is a correlation between the colour, thought and the sensation.

I understand that, but can the reality be seen as reality? What is more interesting, do you see the world much differently, than me? Or the seeing happens pretty much the same way by me and you, but you have more knowing of what it really is? Is there less labeling in you, than me? If this is derailing the process, let’s skip this talk for later :)

I guess the simpler kind of question is do you really see all the time through the labels? How much time has passed since your liberation and what has changed since? Can you share some? :)

I know I can be frustrating when I push for clearer language etc, but it is for your benefit. I would be remiss if I didn’t check to see where you are coming from….story or true seeing. My desire is for you to see through the illusion of the separate individual and I guide to this end….even when it seems pedantic and repetitive.

Oh, I understand that :) I am just sharing what thoughts are appearing sometimes. This process is very important and I would love to be someone else’s guide someday, so let’s do the looking :)

What is it exactly that is choosing which hand to raise?

There is nothing, that chooses which hand to raise. It feels like the hand is raised by itself. Of course there are thoughts, that come up as I raised the hand or like “here, I choose this hand to raise”, but these are just thoughts. There are many times throughout the day, when hands are raised or moved without thought arising. It’s like breathing...it happens, but then sometimes there can be an illusion of control from thinking, that you can choose breathing. So in reality, it is just happening, but the thinking might appear to say otherwise. I am not saying, that thinking again does anything, it's just the thinking happening.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is doing the choosing?

Nope, I can’t find any individual doing it.

What is it that is controlling the hand?

There is only thinking, that brain controls the hand, but who controls the brain? And who controls the controller? There is nothing, that controls. But thoughts of controlling are happening :)

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

Nope, nothing of sorts can be located anywhere.

Can anything be found that makes the hand move?

Nothing seems to make it move. It moves simply and freely. How simply everything happens without anyone controlling anything. What an amazing life happens :)

How is the decision made?

I don’t know :)

I look at my dog and see the life happening. The way he functions - the whole universe does. No idea of control, no need for control. Everything happens in the present moment. So much life :)

I wish you a wonderful weekend!

Hi Peter,

I so enjoy reading your posts and your amazement of life :)

I guess the simpler kind of question is do you really see all the time through the labels? How much time has passed since your liberation and what has changed since? Can you share some? :)

I gated a year and a half ago. To keep it simple, life continues on the same but perception of life is different. There is no real stickiness to what happens or to emotions, although of course they still arise and appear. LOOKING happens automatically now. Sometimes I find myself getting caught up in thought stories and going down the rabbit hole with them…but then LOOKING happens and it is seen through. It doesn’t stop the thought stories in their tracks but when LOOKING happens it is seen that it is just thought.

Oh, I understand that :) I am just sharing what thoughts are appearing sometimes. This process is very important and I would love to be someone else’s guide someday, so let’s do the looking :)

I am glad you understand :) That is great that you would love to guide…it is nice to give back or pay it forward as they say!

What is it exactly that is choosing which hand to raise?

There is nothing, that chooses which hand to raise. It feels like the hand is raised by itself. Of course there are thoughts, that come up as I raised the hand or like “here, I choose this hand to raise”, but these are just thoughts. There are many times throughout the day, when hands are raised or moved without thought arising. It’s like breathing...it happens, but then sometimes there can be an illusion of control from thinking, that you can choose breathing. So in reality, it is just happening, but the thinking might appear to say otherwise. I am not saying, that thinking again does anything, it's just the thinking happening.

Nice looking! Yes, the “I” thought likes to claim most things!

What is it that is controlling the hand?

There is only thinking, that brain controls the hand, but who controls the brain? And who controls the controller? There is nothing, that controls. But thoughts of controlling are happening :)

What is the AE of “brain”?
The label “brain” is the AE of thought and not the AE of a brain
The image/colour labelled “brain” is the AE of image/colour and not the AE of a brain
The sensation labelled head/brain is the AE of sensation and not the AE of a head/brain

So there is no actual experience of a brain, what is actual is label/thought + image + sensation.
Is this clear?

Can anything be found that makes the hand move?

Nothing seems to make it move. It moves simply and freely. How simply everything happens without anyone controlling anything. What an amazing life happens :)

Yes…simply amazing. :)

Okay...so has it been seen clearly that there is no controller, no choose or decider and no doer?

Here is an interesting exercise on the body.

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc.) before replying.

Love, Kay

Hey Kay

I am still enjoying my Sunday, but by the time, when you get this you are going to have an awesome Monday! :)

I gated a year and a half ago. To keep it simple, life continues on the same but perception of life is different. There is no real stickiness to what happens or to emotions, although of course they still arise and appear. LOOKING happens automatically now. Sometimes I find myself getting caught up in thought stories and going down the rabbit hole with them…but then LOOKING happens and it is seen through. It doesn’t stop the thought stories in their tracks but when LOOKING happens it is seen that it is just thought.

Thanks for sharing :) There is a feeling, that this is exactly what it is.

So there is no actual experience of a brain, what is actual is label/thought + image + sensation.
Is this clear?

Yeah, this is very much clear.

There is a brain and the stuff is happening with it, but there is no actual experience of the “brain”, but a stream of AE like images, colors and sensations.

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?

No, there is nothing felt to know how tall or how heavy the body is.

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

There is no way to tell what shape or form body has in the AE. It is kind of formless and shapeless.

There is no boundary between the clothing or the chair, that is felt in by the AE. There is a sensation of “part of body” pushing against the chair, but this is all thinking. There is a sensation in the AE + thinking + color

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

There is no inside or outside of the body in the AE. It’s impossible to tell “where” the actual experience is without thinking.

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

The label “body” refers to experiences, that are happening and labeled by the mind as such. I feel “my hand”, I feel “my head”, I feel “the touch”.

The AE of the body are sensations + images + thoughts.

But there is a “strong” feeling of “my body” in me. Somehow it is so automatic and feels so “real”. The sensation of concept pain in the body is followed by images and thoughts, that “strongly” suggest, that there are certain actions I am supposed to take to avoid it. Of course, this is all thinking, but it happens so fast and automatic.

There is a body and when the thinking happens, that something is wrong with it, so many programs run and the feeling of attachment to the body becomes very clear.

The body and how it is happening is a great topic to discuss as an AE. I am sure you can guide me more here.

Hi Peter,

It is rather a windy autumn Monday afternoon.

Thanks for sharing :) There is a feeling, that this is exactly what it is.

What I forgot to add was that LOOKING happens and thought stories are seen through, but it doesn’t stop the thought stories in their tracks - as when LOOKING happens it is seen that it is just thought and that the thoughts are appearing to nobody/nothing.

There is a brain and the stuff is happening with it, but there is no actual experience of the “brain”, but a stream of AE like images, colors and sensations.

Since all that is actually ‘experienced’ is label + colour/image + sensation…then where is the actual evidence that the brain is where “stuff is happening”?

Does the image/colour labelled “brain” suggest in any way that it is a brain where stuff happens?
Does the label “brain” in any way suggest that it is a brain where stuff happens?
Does the sensation in any way suggest that it is a brain where stuff happens?

No, there is nothing felt to know how tall or how heavy the body is.

What exactly is it that can or cannot “feel” how tall/heavy the body is?
Can a “feeling” in any way suggest anything?

There is no way to tell what shape or form body has in the AE. It is kind of formless and shapeless.
There is no boundary between the clothing or the chair, that is felt in by the AE. There is a sensation of “part of body” pushing against the chair, but this is all thinking. There is a sensation in the AE + thinking + color

If the body is “kind of formless and shapeless” then is there a body there?

Thinking is the process of considering or reasoning about something.
What exactly is it that is “thinking”? Thoughts appear but to what exactly are they appearing to?

The label “body” refers to experiences, that are happening and labeled by the mind as such. I feel “my hand”, I feel “my head”, I feel “the touch”.

What actual evidence is there that there is a "mind", or is mind a concept, a thought that doesn't refer to actual experience?

The AE of the body are sensations + images + thoughts.

The AE of the body is that it doesn’t exist – there is no actual experience of a body at all.
All that is actual is sensation + colour/image + thought.


Have a look at this picture.





That's got to be Albert Einstein, right?

Notice that all that's actually present in the picture are some colours (black, white, grey). That's *all* that's there.

The image of Einstein is just a story. There is no Einstein of *any* kind present. Just a story.

Now notice that thought is doing this with *everything*. In fact, without thought, there wouldn't even seem to be any *things*.

But there is a “strong” feeling of “my body” in me. Somehow it is so automatic and feels so “real”. The sensation of concept pain in the body is followed by images and thoughts, that “strongly” suggest, that there are certain actions I am supposed to take to avoid it. Of course, this is all thinking, but it happens so fast and automatic.

Nothing can ever be painful because there is *no one* who could feel pain! There is just the pain, or rather a sensation labelled “pain/ouch” - but it's not felt by anyone/anything.

Start out with something less distracting like the colour blue. Who *sees* the colour blue? Is anyone seeing blue or is there just 'blue'? Do the same with sounds... anyone hearing? Or is there just the sound?

An itch, pressure, hot, cold...
Smells...

Thoughts... who thinks a thought? Anyone thinking? Or is there just the thought?

So who feels pain? Can you find a feeler of pain? Or is there just the sensation ‘pain’?

How exactly does a thought “strongly suggest” that there is a ‘you’ who is feeling the pain?
Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is in pain?
Does the label “strong” know anything about what is strong and what isn’t?
Does the label “real” know anything about what is real and what isn’t?

Where is the actual evidence that ‘you’ are in a body? Close your eyes and then point a finger to where you reside in the body and let me know where you located in the body.

If a thought strongly suggests that fairies are real, is that sufficient to make fairies real? Or is it only the thought itself ABOUT fairies that's real?

There is a body and when the thinking happens, that something is wrong with it, so many programs run and the feeling of attachment to the body becomes very clear.

Nice story.
What exactly is it that is “attached to the body”?
Since there is no actual experience of a body and there is only the actual experience AS sensation + colour + thought….what exactly is it that is attached to actual experience?
Does the thought “something is wrong” know about something being right or wrong?

LOOK carefully. No need to rush. If it takes a couple of days to LOOK...then that is fine.

Love, Kay

Hey Kay

What’s new in Australia? :)

What I forgot to add was that LOOKING happens and thought stories are seen through, but it doesn’t stop the thought stories in their tracks - as when LOOKING happens it is seen that it is just thought and that the thoughts are appearing to nobody/nothing.

Yeah...the stories are seen through indeed. Some interesting looking happens lately...

Does the image/colour labelled “brain” suggest in any way that it is a brain where stuff happens?
Does the label “brain” in any way suggest that it is a brain where stuff happens?
Does the sensation in any way suggest that it is a brain where stuff happens?

Nope, it doesn’t. There is nothing, that suggest where any of that is happening. Even though I can point to the brain and tell you, this is where something is happening, it is still says nothing. If I look behind the label brain, I see nothing there. By looking I can only see, that stuff just happens.

What exactly is it that can or cannot “feel” how tall/heavy the body is?
Can a “feeling” in any way suggest anything?

Nope, when I look there is nothing, that can be measured of the body. Nothing suggest, that something is “my body” in the direct experience. The thoughts appear and then disappears. Labeling is happening.

If the body is “kind of formless and shapeless” then is there a body there?

Thinking is the process of considering or reasoning about something.
What exactly is it that is “thinking”? Thoughts appear but to what exactly are they appearing to?

In reality there is no body, there is only direct experience and the story of it.

Thinking is the process of creating stories, it doesn’t happen to anyone. It just happens, like seeing, smelling, tasting...

What actual evidence is there that there is a "mind", or is mind a concept, a thought that doesn't refer to actual experience?

There is no actual evidence of the mind. There is a story about the mind, no actual experience can “see” the mind.

That's got to be Albert Einstein, right?

Notice that all that's actually present in the picture are some colours (black, white, grey). That's *all* that's there.

The image of Einstein is just a story. There is no Einstein of *any* kind present. Just a story.

Now notice that thought is doing this with *everything*. In fact, without thought, there wouldn't even seem to be any *things*.

Yes, there is an actual experience and then there is a story. The story is never a reality. Same actual experience can have multiple stories.

Thoughts... who thinks a thought? Anyone thinking? Or is there just the thought?

So who feels pain? Can you find a feeler of pain? Or is there just the sensation ‘pain’?
How exactly does a thought “strongly suggest” that there is a ‘you’ who is feeling the pain?
Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is in pain?
Does the label “strong” know anything about what is strong and what isn’t?
Does the label “real” know anything about what is real and what isn’t?

I was experimenting with cold water and there were sensations happening and stories of “feeling cold’. But when you look behind the story, there is nothing. Who is feeling cold there? There is just the sensation and then labeling happens. Some thoughts like “I am cold” or “this is cold” come. And when you look behind the label “cold”, then there is nothing as well. Nothing suggests, that this sensation is what cold is. There are just sensations and images appear.

Where is the actual evidence that ‘you’ are in a body? Close your eyes and then point a finger to where you reside in the body and let me know where you located in the body.

If a thought strongly suggests that fairies are real, is that sufficient to make fairies real? Or is it only the thought itself ABOUT fairies that's real?

There is no evidence, that I am in the body. Only a life long story :)
The thought about the fairies is there, but it doesn’t suggest, that they are real. There is no actual evidence of fairies so far here.

What exactly is it that is “attached to the body”?
Since there is no actual experience of a body and there is only the actual experience AS sensation + colour + thought….what exactly is it that is attached to actual experience?
Does the thought “something is wrong” know about something being right or wrong?

There is nothing, that can be seen, that is attached to the body. Only a thought about it appears. There is nothing, that is attached to the actual experience as well. Only the thinking.

The thought doesn’t know anything. It just appears out of nowhere and nowhere it goes. Then the other comes. Knowing happens.

A lot can be seen, when looking happens. Through looking lots of stories are revealed, that were being seen as reality.

Much appreciated for guiding me!

Have a great day!

Hey Peter!

What’s new in Australia? :)

Another day has dawned ;)

Yeah...the stories are seen through indeed. Some interesting looking happens lately...

Terrific! Would you like to elaborate?

Nope, it doesn’t. There is nothing, that suggest where any of that is happening. Even though I can point to the brain and tell you, this is where something is happening, it is still says nothing. If I look behind the label brain, I see nothing there. By looking I can only see, that stuff just happens.

So does the brain exist at all?

Nope, when I look there is nothing, that can be measured of the body. Nothing suggest, that something is “my body” in the direct experience. The thoughts appear and then disappears. Labeling is happening.

And isn’t it funny how labelling is just happening, even when there is nothing to be labelled! :) The label ‘body’ points to nothing. How can a sensation be labelled ‘body’ when it is already labelled ‘sensation’? Sensation itself is only a label but it points to experience. If you drop the label ‘sensation’, what is there…only *experience* - THIS.

There is no actual evidence of the mind. There is a story about the mind, no actual experience can “see” the mind.

Yes, exactly! There are thoughts ABOUT a “mind” but there is no actual experience of a “mind”, no matter what thought indicates.

That's got to be Albert Einstein, right?

Yes, there is an actual experience and then there is a story. The story is never a reality. Same actual experience can have multiple stories.

Precisely! :)

I was experimenting with cold water and there were sensations happening and stories of “feeling cold’. But when you look behind the story, there is nothing. Who is feeling cold there? There is just the sensation and then labeling happens. Some thoughts like “I am cold” or “this is cold” come. And when you look behind the label “cold”, then there is nothing as well. Nothing suggests, that this sensation is what cold is. There are just sensations and images appear.

Nice experimenting!
Are there sensations or just singular sensation.

There is no evidence, that I am in the body. Only a life long story :)

There is no evidence of a body or a ‘self’ in a body, so where is this individual that has a life and is living a life and has a life long story?

The thought about the fairies is there, but it doesn’t suggest, that they are real. There is no actual evidence of fairies so far here.

Haha…when they appear…please let me know!

There is nothing, that can be seen, that is attached to the body. Only a thought about it appears. There is nothing, that is attached to the actual experience as well. Only the thinking.

Is there actual thinking…..or just thoughts appearing?

Much appreciated for guiding me!

You’re welcome. I appreciate your LOOKING. :)

Here another exercise that helps to see how the illusion of the body is ‘created’, so to speak. Normally we believe that sensation is coming from sight - the object seen. In this example, the object being the ‘hand’.

1. Close the eyes and hold up one hand. Pay attention only to the felt sensation ‘of the hand’.
2. Open the eyes, and now observe the hand by looking only.
3. While looking at the hand, pay attention to the felt sensations.

Repeat 1 to 3 as many times as needed and investigate…

Is there any link between the sensation and the sight, meaning that the sensation is ‘coming from’ the sight (labelled as ‘hand’) or only thought and mental constructs link them?


Love, Kay

Hey Kay

Another happy day here! :)

Would you like to elaborate?

Well, the stories are seen for what they are. I’ve told more later in my previous post about the cold water.

There are thought appearing about “me” being overwhelmed sometimes at work, but looking through it makes the label so obvious. It is the label, that is automatically created by thinking like “I am anxious” in certain situations.. Sensations and images appear, but without labeling this they seem not to have that “effect’. The story appears and then dissolves, when there is no one to be anxious about anything.

So does the brain exist at all?

No, there is only a story about the brain.

Are there sensations or just singular sensation.

They seem like sensations. Cold shower brings an interesting experience. I can’t say it is a sensation only.

There is no evidence of a body or a ‘self’ in a body, so where is this individual that has a life and is living a life and has a life long story?

There is no evidence of both, then there is no self and there is no body. They stories appear and dissapear, but those are only stor

Is there actual thinking…..or just thoughts appearing?

The thinking is the thoughts appearing and disappearing

Is there any link between the sensation and the sight, meaning that the sensation is ‘coming from’ the sight (labelled as ‘hand’) or only thought and mental constructs link them?

There is no feeling, that sensation is linked with the sight in the way, that one comes out of the other. The link between them is made by thoughts.

There is a sensation of “the hand”, where eyes are closed, but when they are open many others thoughts and labeling appear. Like “Hmmm, that doesn’t feel like my own hand, when the eyes are open”.

There are sensations happening and thoughts appearing. Various thoughts appear and label, when eyes are closed and different appear, when I open them. The hand is still there, reality hasn’t been changed in any way, but perception of it surely does change. Illusions are created in both instances. There is no “my hand” or “not my hand” in reality. Only what appears in the now in images, sensations and so on....Any “link” between anything would be an illusion created by what appears in thinking.

Enjoy it!

Hi Peter!

Another happy day here! :)

What is the actual experience of “happy”? It is:

The label “happy” is the AE of thought and not the AE of happy
The sensation labelled “happy” is the AE of sensation and not the AE of happy
The colour labelled as Peter/body is the AE of colour and not the AE of ‘happy person’.
The sound of laughter labelled "happy" is the AE of sound and not the AE of laughter or happy.

So does the concept of ‘happy’ actually exist? And does the concept of ‘sad’ actually exist?

There are thought appearing about “me” being overwhelmed sometimes at work, but looking through it makes the label so obvious. It is the label, that is automatically created by thinking like “I am anxious” in certain situations.. Sensations and images appear, but without labeling this they seem not to have that “effect’. The story appears and then dissolves, when there is no one to be anxious about anything.

Great looking.
The other thing to look at is what is the AE of “overwhelmed”?
And what is the AE of “anxious”?

Are there sensations or just singular sensation.

They seem like sensations. Cold shower brings an interesting experience. I can’t say it is a sensation only.

So when the water from the shower is seemingly felt, they are just sensation….right?
So does the sensation labelled ‘water drops/stream of water suggest in any way that it is a stream of water/water drops?
Does the sensation labelled ‘cold’ suggest in any way that it is cold?

Is there actual thinking…..or just thoughts appearing?

The thinking is the thoughts appearing and disappearing

So what exactly is it that is thinking?
Does the word/label “thinking” contain a thinker?
Thinking implies an ordered sequence of thoughts by someone or something. Is there an organised sequence to thought? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?


Love, Kay