Hi Pedersen! :)
At this moment the only sensation in my head appears to be a slight pressure, coming from a little too much coffee. My immediate response is that the pressure is localised in the head. When I put my attention on sense objects and really try to see where they appear, I sporadically experience everything to appear in the same place - a place which I can´t define with location and borders.
Therefore - my immediate experience is that the pressure appears inside the head, and when looking further it´s like it doesn´t appear either inside nor outside. Hmm, hope it makes sense:-)
Yes, yes. It can't really be located.
So, what is it? Can you LOOK again and describe it?
An experience of oneness, not feeling separate - Not identifying with ego/thoughts. A permanent change of perspective such that the sense of self is seen as an illussion at all times. In practice, feelings of anger would not stick and no story develop, when someone skip the line in the supermarket. Or for instance no having any fear of public speaking, because of the realisation that no self can be humiliated - etc.
In a sentence, a change of perspective and not a change in state of concioussness.
Once the shift happens, it can't be reversed.
Still, the imaginary self would at times pop up, which is
perfectly OK.
Life embraces everything, including fear, anger,
all those "negative" emotions, the imaginary self, and lets them be ... lets them go.
We somehow assume that this "self" can do something with
Life, interfering with it. It can't, because it is imaginary, like a ghost.
This assumption is strong enough to leave some scent even after
it's uprooted. Then, the only thing is ... to keep LOOKing!
Illusion pops up, then LOOK, it vanishes.
LOOKing becomes natural, just like breathing ...
Actually, whenever something happens that cause anger for instance, if I then try to experience the reality of the situation, then the anger is disarmed. I would feel a sensation, maybe in the chest and would notice a story developing by thoughts, then I would ask if there is actually a self experiencing this - And anger disappears when no self is found.
The above is a process and doesn´t feel Automatic, rather it feels like I need to put effort into this - sometimes the story develops like it has always done before and sometimes I stop it by asking if there is really someone experiencing it.
Good! As I've told you before, KEEP LOOKING!
No, when really looking there is no location to sensations - and in terms of seeing, there is just the image of a couple of arms, stomach and a couple of legs.
Nice!
I´m not sure, perhaps old habits of identifying with thoughts. I feel it´s a matter of just forgetting to put attention on what is real, and then it slips away and back to how reality has always been percieved. But as I mentioned some posts ago, attention on direct experience is happening more and more.
Good! Keep LOOKing ...
for whom is Life, including forgetfulness,
a problem?
Yes definately, compared to how I used to percieve reality I am much more often having a direct experience of being aware of everything as just objects, and that thoughts are NOT the self but also just objects - Also that no self can be located.
Do you feel that you have experientially seen through the illusion of separate entity
called "I," "me," or "self?"
Thank you for the kind words Kento, I´ll continue to look for a self in direct experience, I feel it´s deepening more and more. At some points the thoughts have to let go of believing I guess:-)
Believing happens, and it goes, when it isn't grasped.
But who is grasping? Can you locate the grasper?
Peace,
Kento
